City of Broken Hearts #6
“I think the sun’s coming up soon,” Simon said, after a short silence.
Izzy was determinedly not looking at him. “It’s almost sunrise, so: Brilliant deduction.”
Simon felt the red mist rising behind his eyes again.
He fought it down. “Look, Izzy,” he said.
“We’re arguing because of Ajatara. Because everyone is arguing.
But we know something they don’t. We know this is a spell.
We know this anger isn’t real. So can’t we just try to have a reasonable discussion? ”
There was another long silence. They had made it to the wooden part of the bridge’s walkway, which creaked under their boots. “I’m not sure all this anger isn’t real,” Izzy said, finally.
“Okay,” said Simon. “Let’s talk about the real part. Let’s not treat this as if—”
“As if I’m an ice queen and you’re a toad guy?”
Simon winced. “You heard that?”
“Yeah, Simon, I did. I heard you pouring your heart out to a demon. Telling him all these things you’ve never thought to tell me. Agreeing with everything he said about how if we broke up, I’d be just fine.”
“You’re angry because you overheard me talking about how awesome you are?”
“No, Simon,” Izzy said, slowly, like she was explaining things to a small child, and none too happy about it. “I’m angry because you seem to think you’re the only one who cares about this relationship. If you love me so much more than I love you, how come you’re the one leaving for a year?”
“I asked you to come with me!” Simon protested.
“And I told you I can’t!” Isabelle’s voice rose.
“Then you should have told me not to leave!”
“Well, excuse me for trying to be supportive!” she yelled.
Then she paused, and took a long breath.
When she spoke again, the anger was gone from her voice.
But it had been replaced by something worse: sorrow.
“It’s not supposed to be this way with us, Simon.
We’re supposed to trust each other enough to say how we feel.
If we can’t do that when it’s about stuff like job offers, what are we going to do when it’s even bigger stuff?
Look at my parents—they stopped talking honestly to each other a long time ago.
So when Max died, they were both just…alone with it.
Now look where they are. I don’t want us to end up like that. ”
Simon caught her free hand in his. “I don’t, either.”
“This job is an amazing opportunity for you, Simon, and I don’t want to be the person to stand in the way of what you want. And if you want to be at the Scholomance, I might not get it, but I can still support it. But obviously I don’t want you to go.”
“So why didn’t you just say that?” Simon said.
“Why didn’t you already know?” Izzy said. “Why are you always so scared I’ve got one foot out the door?”
Simon looked away. He wanted to be honest with Izzy, he really did. But it wasn’t the easiest thing in the world to admit. “It scares me sometimes how much I love you,” Simon said.
Izzy laughed—just as he was always afraid she would. But then she touched his face, softly. “What makes you assume you’re the only one?”
“I guess it’s just…look, we both know you’re the Han Solo and I’m the Princess Leia.” It was always easier to explain his heart in terms of pop culture.
“Somehow I can’t quite picture you in a metal bikini, so—”
“I’m serious,” Simon said. “When Leia tells Han she loves him, and all he says is I know? People act like that’s romantic, but I always thought it was depressing. She’s swearing her love and all she gets back is, what, a shrug?”
“It would be easier to take you seriously if you weren’t talking about imaginary people,” Izzy said.
“You said you wanted me to talk. This is me talking. And all the stories are true, right?”
“Okay, you want to talk Star Wars? Let’s talk about how you’re totally misreading that scene.
It’s romantic because Leia is someone who guards her emotions.
She has to be strong, she has to keep going no matter what.
So it’s like this huge deal for her to admit how she actually feels about Han.
And when he says I know, he’s telling her he didn’t even need her to say it out loud.
He already knew how she felt. He’s just been waiting for her to be ready to say it out loud.
He loves her enough to give her the time she needs, and she loves him enough to finally let her guard down. That’s what’s romantic.”
Simon was stunned. “You always act like you barely even know what those movies are about.”
“They’re important to you, so.” She looked sad. “So they’re important to me.”
“Izzy—”
He didn’t know how to persuade her that they could be Han and Leia, they could be better, they could be epic, they could, most of all, be honest with each other and trust in each other and all the things they needed to be to stay together, to be each other’s partner and best friend, to be equals, to have a relationship where no one was the ice queen and no one was the toad guy—but before he could figure it out, Krog came rushing up to them.
Simon had almost forgotten he was on a mission to save New York City from hellstorm and heartbreak.
“Less talking, more killing,” Krog told them. “Something terrible is happening. Iago is getting way too close to Ajatara. I think I saw her touch his carapace! You can go kill them both now, that’s your job, right?”
“Wow, Iago turned out to be untrustworthy,” said Isabelle, with grim sarcasm. “I did not see that coming.” She glanced over at Simon. “We could kill Iago,” she said. “Not Ajatara, though. That’ll just make everything worse.”
Simon remembered reading Othello in high school.
He’d hated it, as he did many Shakespeare plays.
So much blood, so much killing, and all of it easily avoided if people had just asked one or two follow-up questions.
Like, in the case of Othello, it would have been so easy for Othello to just ask his wife whether what Iago said about her was true, and then the play could have had a much more boring and less bloody ending.
He’d pointed this out to Clary, who said he was missing the point.
The point, she said, was that Othello was too insecure to believe his wife really loved him.
That’s what ruined him. Not Iago’s lies, not a lack of follow-up questions.
Once you think you know something, you’ll believe anyone who tells you you’re right.
Sometimes, Simon thought, you had to show people they were wrong.
“So, kill now?” Krog said.
Simon sheathed his blade. “I think I have a better idea.”
—
Simon and Izzy approached the center of the bridge stealthily, with Krog, in the form of a toad-sized toad, perched on Simon’s shoulder. Not that it would matter if they were louder, Simon thought, as Ajatara and Iago appeared to be deep in conversation.
Krog, apparently in a gesture of rage, licked Simon’s neck. Ugh.
“You’re supposed to be incognito,” he whispered to Krog. “Just a regular toad. So if you want this plan to work, no more licking.”
They were close enough now to be able to overhear Ajatara and Iago.
Simon and Izzy paused at the railing, pretending to gaze out at the dark waters of the East River, where once Valentine had nearly murdered Simon.
It was the first place Simon had ever felt the sun on his skin again after becoming a vampire.
He’d thought that was the best moment of his life, but everything after he’d gotten together with Isabelle had put it in the shade. So to speak.
“Regardless, I thank all nine Hellish Princes that we ran across each other here, today,” Iago was saying to Ajatara.
Simon had never heard a Shax demon’s voice before.
It was a sound like insectoid legs skittering across a table, all clicking and hissing.
Not exactly Prince Charming material, Simon thought, but who knew what demons were into.
“Long have I wished to declare my intentions.”
“Your what?” Ajatara took a step backward.
“My intentions. To make you my dark bride, beautiful Ajatara. You will be Princess of Shax demons!”
Ajatara looked horrified. “But you’re Krog’s friend. You’ve been his friend forever!”
“Forget Krog,” Iago snapped.
Krog croaked. Simon willed him to keep his cool, just a little longer. Give her a chance, he thought at Krog. Trust her.
“Krog has abandoned you,” Iago said. “He’s living with toad women in Central Park!”
Ajatara gasped. “It cannot be so!”
Red sparks shot through the dark clouds overhead, signs of Ajatara’s anger. Krog croaked louder. But he stayed a toad, a normal-sized one. And he stayed on Simon’s shoulder, rather than trying to eat Iago’s face. Which, Simon admitted, was impressive restraint.
“Water seeks its own level, my darling Ajatara,” Iago said. “You are a beautiful queen of damnation. Your rages are voluptuous. Your evil is unparalleled, and very sexy. And what is Krog? Nothing. Krog is naught but a toad guy!”
Ajatara’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t think that’s a thing,” she said. “Toad guy? I have certainly never regarded Krog as such. But you, his trusted friend, coming to me like this? There’s only one toad in this situation, and that’s you.”
She whirled away from him in disgust—only to see the toad leaping down from Simon’s shoulder and taking on his human form. Tall, dark, and handsome once again, with only a slight bulge to his eyes, Krog raced to the side of his one true love.
“I should never have doubted you, Ajatara!” Krog cried. “I was a fool to trust Iago over you. I love you, and only you!”
“Krog!” Ajatara gasped, and leapt forward to sweep him off his feet. Then she pressed her lips to his and dipped him backward, in a swoony, Hollywood-worthy kiss. Overhead, the red sparks in the sky faded away. The night, finally, was calm and still, the fading moonlight glinting on the water.
“It’s kind of romantic,” Simon said, as they watched, “if you ignore the whole soulless demon thing.”
“You!” Iago roared, advancing on Simon and Isabelle. “This is your meddling hand at work, Shadowhunters. I suppose you think you’ve done a good deed, but Ajatara does not really love Krog, she has been unfaithful to him—”
“Spare me,” Simon said. “I did Othello in tenth grade. And for the record, I got an A.”
Iago flinched back, his mandibles chittering. “Oh. Would it help if I told you I was named for the parrot in Aladdin?”
“What are you talking about?” Izzy asked. “Simon, what is he talking about?”
“Do you really want the answer to that?” Simon asked.
Izzy considered for a moment. “You know what I really want?”
Simon examined her. Isabelle Lightwood, love of his life, fierce and noble warrior. “Actually, I think I do,” he said. “Go for it.”
Izzy grinned. Then she flicked her whip and neatly sliced off Iago’s head.
There was a ping as Simon’s phone got a text. Ajatara and Krog were still slobbering all over each other, so he checked his phone.
Bunch of Shax demons ran into a warehouse here, Clary had said. We’re going to chase them down.
Sounds good. Simon shot a text back and looked up to discover that Ajatara and Krog had come up for air just long enough to thank Simon and Izzy for saving their relationship—and for dispatching Iago for them.
“What shall we do now to celebrate our love?” Ajatara asked, gazing lovingly at Krog.
“Let’s kill the Shadowhunters,” he suggested. “Let the eternal war between demons and Shadowhunters resume!”
“Wonderful idea, my darling,” Ajatara said, turning her glittering eyes from Krog to Isabelle and Simon. “Let’s.”
“I’ve just got one piece of advice for you two,” Simon said, “before you get to the killing.”
“Yeah?”
Simon smiled. “Look up.”
Above them, the sky was pinking. Dawn was breaking. The first rays of sun peeked over the horizon—and as they did, both demons shrieked and vanished.
“Look at that,” Izzy said. “I guess we saved love.”
“Let’s test it out,” Simon said, “just to make sure.”
He kissed her. And it was a way more romantic kiss than Ajatara and Krog had managed.
It was a kiss for the record books, the kind of kiss you give the girl you love when you’ve finally accepted, deep down in your heart, that she loves you back.
That you’re the luckiest guy in the world, maybe, because she always will.
When they finally let go, Izzy’s cheeks were pink. “That was…”
“It was,” Simon said, catching his breath.
“But we can’t just kiss and make up,” Izzy said. “You get that, right? We also have to actually talk.”
“I do get it,” Simon said. “And I want to. I want to spend the rest of my life talking with you.” He cupped Izzy’s hands in his and brought them gently to his lips.
Her skin was so soft. It was incredible, he thought, how one person could be so hard and so soft, all at the same time.
But then, everything about Izzy was incredible. “I’m not taking the job,” he told her.
“Simon, I meant it, I don’t want to stand in your way, we’ll figure something out—”
“Look,” he said. “The truth is—I don’t care about the Scholomance job.
I don’t need to teach people to be recruiters to be happy.
I thought, since it paid so well, if I took the job I’d be able to afford to get us our own apartment.
That we could really start our lives together.
But I’ve realized, tonight, that we already do have a life together.
It doesn’t matter where we live. It matters how we feel about each other.
And I don’t want to be away from you for a year.
I don’t even want to be away from you for a day.
I want to spend every day with you—I want to spend my whole life with you. ”
Isabelle’s dark eyes had gone very wide. She looked half happy and half frightened, as if she’d been given something precious and delicate to hold, and was afraid of breaking it. “You do?”
“I want to marry you, Isabelle Lightwood. I want to be your partner, and your family, and the person you can say anything to, no matter how scary.”
“You already are,” she said quietly, and kissed him again.
Simon felt like his heart was going to explode. “Does that mean…?”
“Yes,” she said, beaming. Brighter than the rising sun. “It means, I’m saying yes. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, too. Even if it means I have to watch those stupid Star Wars movies a thousand more times. You’re worth it.”
She flung her arms around him. Simon buried his face in her hair. He almost couldn’t believe he was going to get to hold her for the rest of her life. But believe it or not, he was more certain than he’d ever been: It was true.
Izzy brought her lips to his ear, as if to whisper a secret. “I love you.”
Simon closed his eyes and breathed her in. “I know.”