12. Alex
CHAPTER 12
ALEX
I was still tingling all over from that orgasm. Thank God Connor was willing to chill for a bit before we got going again; I had no doubt he was still turned on as all hell, but I needed a few minutes. Everything was way too sensitive to do more than hold him against me and kiss.
Fortunately, he didn’t seem to mind that. Connor loved kissing, and he was so fucking good at it. Maybe he didn’t have experience with men, but this part? Oh, he knew his way around a long, languid kiss, and I couldn’t get enough.
After hell if I knew how long, we came up for air. Breathing hard against his talented lips, I whispered, “Are you sure you’ve never been with a man?”
Connor’s laugh was breathless and near silent. “I think I’d know if I had, righ?”
“True.” I kissed him lightly. “But for your first time sucking dick…” I couldn’t help shivering. “That was amazing.”
He grinned, running his hand up my back. “Well, that’s good to hear. I’ve wanted to try it for a long, long time, and I was always afraid I wouldn’t know what to do.”
I couldn’t help laughing myself. “I get that. We’re all nervous the first time we try anything. But your oral skills…” I whistled, shaking my head. “Take it from someone who’s experienced a bad blowjob—you’re fine .”
He raised his eyebrows. “A bad blowjob? Is that even possible?” He paused. “Okay, I’ve had some that weren’t great—back when my ex and I were both completely inexperienced and clueless—but bad? ”
“Oh, my sweet summer child…” I settled onto the pillow beside him because my arm was going to sleep, and he shifted onto his side, draping his arm over my stomach. Trailing my fingers along his forearm, I said, “Trust me, there is such thing as a bad blowjob. Usually one that involves teeth.”
Connor shuddered. “Ow. That… doesn’t sound pleasant.”
“It wasn’t. Not either time.” I rolled my eyes. “I don’t do three strikes and you’re out—I gave him two chances, and I thought that was more than generous.”
“You’re a better man than me,” he said dryly. “I wouldn’t have let those teeth anywhere near my dick again, thank you very much.”
“I don’t blame you. I was much younger and more of a people pleaser back then.”
“You’re not a people pleaser anymore?”
The time I’d spent with Tobias flashed through my mind—what little people pleasing had still lingered in me was dead and gone by the time I’d rid myself of him. But I wasn’t going to bring him up and kill the mood, so I just chuckled and said, “You think I’d last as a people pleaser? Pfft. I’m a corpsman.”
He laughed. “Okay, point taken.”
That… actually sobered me. Only someone who was or worked with corpsmen would truly understand how much the job, as much or even more than a lot of military jobs, chewed up and spit out people pleasers.
Connor understood.
Because not only had he been a corpsman himself, he did work with corpsmen.
As a physician.
As an officer.
As someone way the fuck above my paygrade, and someone whose bed was not a place I should be if I still wanted to retire with my veteran benefits.
He must’ve seen the sudden shift in my mood, because he touched my face and whispered, “Hey. You still with me?”
“Yeah. Yeah. Just…” I sighed, clasping his hand in mine. “Reminded myself why we shouldn’t be doing this.”
His shoulders fell as he released a breath. “Fuck.”
“I’m… God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to kill the mood.”
Connor shook his head. “You didn’t. It’s just a reminder that we have to make this count, I guess.”
“There is that.” I let go of his hand and carded my fingers through his hair, reveling in the cool softness and the way he closed his eyes and pressed into my touch. “It sucks. Because under any other circumstances, I’d already be looking forward to doing this again.”
“Me too.” He opened his eyes. “I know it has to be a one-time thing. As much as I want to do it again…” He shook his head. “But… that doesn’t mean I’m in a hurry for it to be over.”
“Neither am I.”
“Good. Because I’ve been dying to be touched, and everything we’ve done…” He exhaled hard. “It’s just so damn good.”
“Yeah, it is. And… dying to be touched? Does that mean it’s been a while?”
He laughed quietly. “That would be an understatement.”
“Yeah?”
Connor nodded. “This is the first time I’ve been touched since before my ex-wife and I separated. It’s…” He exhaled. “I didn’t realize how much I was missing that until now.”
“Yeah?” I smoothed his hair. “How long has that been?”
“We were separated for three years. It was probably…” He rocked his head from side to side. “Close to a year before that, maybe? And that was after a year or two of really sporadically doing anything.”
“Jesus,” I whispered. “I can’t imagine going that long.”
“Eh, I think I was just so focused on moving on, being a dad, doing my job…” Connor sighed. “Didn’t really spend much time thinking about what I needed or wanted. But now that I’m here and I’m alone, and my boys are off on their own…” He trailed off.
“Time to think about yourself?”
“Long past time, yeah.” He looked right in my eyes. “To be clear, that’s not why I wanted this. With you.” Pulling me a little closer, he softly added, “Yeah, I’ve been dying to be touched, but this? This is because I haven’t been able to get you out of my head.”
“Me too.” I brushed my lips across his. “I, well—it hasn’t been that long since I’ve been laid. But I’ve been wanting you like crazy ever since I saw your profile.” Longer than that, but he didn’t need to know I’d had a crush on him since the day he’d reported for duty in Rota.
“It hasn’t been that long?” An eyebrow arched and some mischievous curiosity sparked in his eyes. “How long has it been?”
“Uh…” The heat in my face killed any thought I might’ve had about playing this cool. “Well…” I cleared my throat. “I’ve got an occasional booty call out in El Puerto.”
“Do you?” There’d been a hint of jealousy the first time I’d mentioned Isidoro, but now there was just curiosity and maybe a little mischief.
“Yeah,” I said. “He’s a Spanish local. The guy I told you about who I talk to using the translator app.”
“Mmhmm. And when was the last time you were with him?” He was fighting a grin.
“Why?” I laughed. “You really want to know how long it’s been since I was in another guy’s bed?”
“Just curious.” Connor half-shrugged as he let that grin come to life. “Call it living vicariously through someone who actually has a handle on his sexuality and navigating the scene in this area.”
“You don’t seem to be struggling too hard with your sexuality.”
“Eh.” He wobbled his hand in the air. “I’ve known for a long time that I’m bisexual, but it’s been intimidating, putting myself out there and getting into bed with someone. I envy people like you who had the freedom and the confidence long before I ever did.”
“We all come to things in our own time,” I said. “You’re not the first queer guy to dip his toes in as an adult and you won’t be the last.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” he said with a dry laugh.
“I’m serious. Back in Yokosuka, there was this civilian contractor who was—I want to say late forties? I think he was almost fifty. I was the first man he ever touched.”
Connor’s eyebrows rose. “Really?”
“Mmhmm. He came from a seriously repressed background, and he’d had a nasty divorce for a lot of reasons that had nothing to do with his sexuality. None of us had a clue he was gay until I ran into him in this really tiny gay bar in Nagasaki. It was one of those places you had to know someone to even find, so God only knows how he heard about it, but there he was, and there I was, and… do the math.”
“Wow. So you’ve done this before, then? Helped some older guy get the hang of sex with a man?”
I smiled and trailed my fingertips down his arm. “You make it sound like I’m running a charity.”
He laughed, unaware of what that did to my pulse. “That’s not what I meant. Just… that you’ve got the patience for it, I guess?”
“Patience?” I slid closer to him and kissed him. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been enjoying the hell out of being in bed with you. Patience, my ass.”
He laughed softly as he ran his hands up my back. “Fair enough. And I hope you weren’t kidding about topping me.”
Excitement zipped through me. “If you want me to top you, you better believe I will.”
Connor bit his lip, eyes gleaming with renewed hunger. “Yes, please?”
Oh, fuck yeah…
“Have you, um…” I hesitated. “You said you bottomed with your ex-wife, right?”
“Yeah. Like I said, she wanted to try pegging.” He blushed as he added, “Turned out we both liked it.”
“Okay, so you know how much prep you need, and you know how much you can take.”
“Mmhmm. And I, uh… I didn’t stop just because she and I did, if that makes sense. So it hasn’t been four-plus years since I’ve been penetrated, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“Oh yeah?” I cocked a brow. “So it’s something you enjoy doing on your own?”
The blush deepened, and he nodded again. “I enjoy it a lot .”
“Good,” I said. “I’m always worried about hurting someone the first time. I use a ton of lube and go really slow, but if someone is nervous enough…” I grimaced.
“Yeah, I was afraid that would happen when we tried it. We started with something small, though, and worked up to bigger over time.” He glanced down, then met my gaze with a wicked grin. “I actually have a toy that’s almost exactly as thick as you, so I know I can handle it.”
“Oh, really?” I returned the grin. “And do you like that toy?”
“Mmhmm.” He slid his hand over my dick, which was rapidly hardening, and I gasped at the contact. “I have several, and that one is my favorite.” He teased my balls with his fingertips, and I lost the ability to come back with something witty. He kissed me lightly, then murmured, “Please fuck me. I want to come with your dick in my ass.”
I had to catch my breath. “Has anyone ever told you that you have a filthy mouth?”
“I’ve heard that accusation from time to time.” Connor’s eyebrow flicked up. “Is that a complaint?”
“Not in the least. I love dirty talk.”
“Mmm, good to know. So is that a yes on fucking me until I come?”
“Absolutely.”
“Good,” he whispered, and then we sank into a longer, lazier kiss. The hypersensitivity from earlier was gone, and though I wasn’t fully hard yet, that probably wasn’t far off. Not when I had Connor’s hot body against mine, his erection pressed to my hip as he absolutely devoured my mouth.
Maybe it was just as well this was a one-time thing—making a habit of sex with this man would probably kill me.
Still, I couldn’t help but agree when he whispered, “God, I wish we could do this again.” He dipped his head and started on my neck, and his voice was a low growl as he murmured, “I want you so fucking bad, and I know that’s not going to stop after tonight.”
I bit my lip, tilting my head back so he could access as much of my throat as possible.
In between sizzling hot kisses on my skin, he asked, “Any chance you bottom, too?”
“I’m about as switchy as they get.” I arched under him, pressing my hard dick against him. “But you want to get topped today, so…”
He shivered, then whispered, “Well, if I have to choose between the two—I definitely want to get topped.”
I almost groaned with frustration. We did have to choose, didn’t we? Because while we were both reasonably fit, we were also long past twenty-five. There was only so much we were going to be able to do in one day.
“Well, lucky for you,” I slurred, “you’ve already made me come once. So we won’t have to worry about me going off too fast once I’m in you.”
Though… hell. Just thinking about pushing into his gorgeous ass had my toes curling, so maybe I wouldn’t last as long as I thought?
Connor lifted himself up over me and kissed me again as he settled his hips and his hard-on against mine. I traced every inch of him I could reach with my hands, memorizing every plane and angle of his body. If I could only have this one time with him, I was going to commit it all to memory. Every last detail, from his weight over me to that soft moan when I teased his lips with my tongue.
He was shaking when he broke away and whispered, “Fuck me? Please?”
“Hell yes.” I cupped his face and kissed him softly. “Grab the lube.”
“Condom too?”
“Not yet. I need to get you ready first.”
He nodded, and he pulled away to get the bottle from the nightstand. The sudden absence of his skin touching mine left me breathless; I needed his body against me.
He came back to the middle of the bed and held up the lube. “So, um… How do you want to do this?”
I took the bottle and gestured for him to roll over. “On your side. It’ll be more comfortable for you.”
Connor stole a quick kiss, and then as I opened the lube bottle, he did as he was told. I put a little on my fingers, trying to ignore how hard my hard was pounding with the sheer anticipation of being inside him. In my mind, I was already rocking in and out of him, driving curses and groans from both of us until we were coming and shaking and melting into a satisfied heap on the mattress.
First things first, though.
I molded myself to his back and kissed the side of his neck. “I’ll go slow. I promise.”
“You don’t have to. I’ve done this.”
“Oh, I know.” I traced the curve of his ass cheek with the back of his hand. “But going slow means I can tease you.”
I might’ve liked that frustrated groan a little too much. I didn’t apologize for it, though.
I wasn’t kidding about teasing him, either. I teased his hole far longer than I needed to, until he was whimpering and swearing, and only then did I gently slip in a fingertip. By the time I’d worked up to two fingers, he was touching himself and rocking back against me, every sound he made full of lust and need.
“You like that, don’t you?” I murmured.
“Yeah,” he breathed. “I… God, I want your dick. Like now.”
“Mmm, I know you do.” I kissed the back of his shoulder as I crooked my fingers inside him. “But it’s so much fun to make you beg.”
He started to say something else, but I added a third finger, and his voice fell to a near sob. He pumped himself faster, probably desperate for friction both inside and out.
“Don’t go too fast,” I teased. “Can’t have you coming before I fuck you.”
“Then fuck me, damn it,” he growled.
“I will. But first I want to?—”
“Alex,” he panted. “Please. Just… put on a damn condom and fuck me already. ”
“Mmm, I could do that,” I purred in his ear, still sliding my fingers in and out so slowly it was almost frustrating for me . “Or I could keep making you squirm.”
“Alex.” He shivered hard, clenching almost painfully tight around my fingers. “Just. Fuck me.”
It was tempting to make him go even further out of his mind, but I was getting close to going out of mine. So, I slipped my fingers free and kissed the back of his shoulder again. “Give me a second to put on the condom.”
He exhaled. “Oh thank God…”
“Hey. He had nothing to do with it.”
Connor just laughed and shook his head.
I made quick work of putting on the condom, then added a generous amount of lube.
“How do you want me?” he asked.
“Move to the edge of the bed.” I got up onto my feet. “Like when I was blowing you earlier.”
He did, and I stood between his thighs. I fingered him a little more, just to make sure there was plenty of lube, and then…
Then I gave him what he’d been begging for.
There were few things I loved more than watching it register on a man’s face as I eased into him. Something about that look that was overwhelmed, relieved, and needy all at once. He closed his eyes and arched, stroking his own dick lazily as I carefully worked myself in.
“Like that?” Holy fuck, I was out of breath.
“Y-yeah.” He squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip. “God, Alex, you feel so…” He moaned, and I wondered for a moment if standing had been a good idea after all. I was so turned on, my knees were shaking, and I wasn’t entirely sure I could hold myself up.
I’d damn sure try, though, especially as Connor swore and gasped as he took me deeper. I’d always gotten off on getting another man off, but Connor’s pleasure was straight up addictive. I could get drunk on the sexy sounds he made and the sight of him laid out in front of me like a pornographic gift, taking every inch of my dick while he jerked himself off and writhed with pure bliss.
Somehow, I found my breath and my voice, and I whispered, “Do you like it like this? Slow and…” I closed my eyes as I buried myself all the way inside him. Pulling out slowly, I slurred, “Or do you want it harder?”
He exhaled sharply. “I… Fuck. I love it like this. But I also want… I also want you to rail me.”
The whimper that escaped this time was mine—my head full of images of him crying out as I pounded him deep and hard while in reality, I was still slowly, languidly sliding my dick in and out of his tight, slicked hole. I didn’t know which I wanted more either, only that I couldn’t get enough and I couldn’t take any more, and…
“You’re so damn hot,” I breathed. “I want to fuck you into the mattress, but I love it like this too.” I took a few more slow strokes before I shakily whispered, “Jesus Christ, Connor. Tell… Tell me what you want. Anything you want.”
I meant it to. In that moment, I’d have done anything to give him more of the pleasure that was already written all over his gorgeous face.
Connor rocked his hips in time with mine. Then he gazed up at me with fire in his eyes, and he pushed himself up on his elbow, curved his other hand behind my neck, and whispered, “C’mere.”
I did, letting him draw me down into a kiss that was as slow and sexy as the way our bodies moved together. This was perfect. Just… just perfect. A man who could kiss the soul right out of my body. My dick moving in him just right to have me almost on the edge of coming. His fingers twitching against my neck as he moaned against my lips.
I started to slide out again, and right then—right as I was pulling almost all the way out, Connor broke the kiss and looked right in my eyes.
“Alex,” he whispered. “Fuck me. Hard. ”
Without warning or even thought, I thrust back in, and he fell back onto the mattress with a sexy, helpless cry.
“Like that?” I started withdrawing again, slowly like before.
“Yes!” He started pumping himself fast and hard now, and his eyes were still squeezed shut as he demanded, “More.”
What could I do but give this beautiful, vocal, responsive man exactly what he wanted?
I pushed my hands under his ass and lifted his hips, and we both gasped as the angle went from amazing to oh my fucking God , and I slammed into him deep and hard. His cries drove me on, and my thrusts made him cry out even more, and we fell into this perfect, dizzying feedback loop. Moving inside him felt incredible, and watching him and hearing him had me so damn close to the edge, I had to fight back my orgasm. I wanted him to come first—wanted his orgasm to set mine off. I wanted the sight and sound and sensation of Connor coming unraveled to be what sent me into oblivion.
“Oh my God,” I moaned, sounding to my own ears like I was close to sobbing. Maybe I was. “You feel so… Fuck, baby, I want you to come.”
Connor made a choked sound, and he pumped himself faster, his skin flushed as he drove us both on. “God, yeah…”
“Is that good? Is that?—”
“Just like that.” His eyes flew open and met mine. “Holy fuck, Alex, that is so…” He dug his teeth into his bottom lip as he rocked his hips just right to nearly catapult me over the edge.
And then, with a breathless cry of release, he jerked under me, and jets of cum landed on his flat stomach.
Hottest thing I’d ever seen. Hands down.
I thrust as hard as I could, trying to get as deep as Connor could take me, and then I let go, and my legs almost dropped out from under me as my orgasm crashed through me and into him.
With one last shudder, I slumped over him, holding myself up on shaking arms.
“Oh my God,” Connor moaned. “That was…” He trailed off, closing his eyes as he shivered beneath me.
I arched an eyebrow, still trembling and panting over him. “I hope whatever you were going to say wasn’t bad.”
He rolled his eyes, then gestured down at the cum all over his abs and chest. “Yes, Alex. Worst. Orgasm. Ever.” Another eyeroll as he reached for my neck. “Get down here.”
I laughed as he pulled me down to him, and we were both grinning when our lips met.
My back, unfortunately, didn’t like that position, so we didn’t stay that way for long. I pulled out and got rid of the condom, then dropped onto the bed beside him by the pillows where he had moved while I was up. We’d need to do a bit more cleanup thanks to all the lube and cum, but that could wait while we kissed and caught our breath.
After a while, he met my gaze, and he grinned. “Well, I’ve been sexually frustrated for a long time, but this was definitely worth the wait.”
I laughed, running my knuckles along his jaw. “Glad I didn’t disappoint.”
“Mmm, no, definitely not.” He kissed me again, letting it linger for a moment or two. Then, “Should we grab a shower?”
“Probably. Depends on if you think we’re done.”
Interest and heat both sparked in his eyes. “You don’t think we are?”
“We don’t have to be. I can’t promise I’ve got another orgasm in me, but I’m pretty sure I can get another one out of you.”
Ooh, he liked that idea, that was for damn sure. “So you’re not bored of me yet?”
“Hardly. And like I said, I’m not in any hurry for this to be over.” I paused, then grinned. “Plus, I mean, if I stick around until after dark, I’m even less likely to be seen leaving.”
Connor laughed. “I like the way you think. Especially since the sun doesn’t go down until late.”
“So you don’t mind being stuck with me until like 2300 or so?”
He coasted his palm up my chest. “Do I look like I want to chase you out?”
“Well, no, but I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”
“Mmm, I don’t think that’s going to be an issue.” He curved his hand behind my neck and leaned in close. “Especially not if you make good on sucking me off later.”
I shivered as I kissed him softly. “I am nothing if not a man of my word.”