17. Connor
CHAPTER 17
CONNOR
A n hour and a half after I walked into Paraíso, I couldn’t ignore the mix of disappointment and relief. Alex wasn’t here. We weren’t going to do something stupid and reckless that could derail our careers and lives.
But also… he wasn’t here. We weren’t going to have a rematch and relive that ridiculously hot night that was seared into my memory.
Which was a good thing for two men who wanted to keep their careers and their VA benefits. We’d both given up way too much and worked way too hard to toss it all away now in exchange for some good dick.
It was a bad idea. I should’ve known it was, really. And why did I pick Madrid , for fuck’s sake? Couldn’t I have gone for a city closer to home? I mean, I didn’t want to be so close that we might bump into someone we knew. Still, there were plenty of cities between Rota and Madrid that were far enough away that we weren’t likely to happen across anyone from our base, least of all our hospital.
You picked Madrid because you knew this was a terrible idea and he wasn’t likely to show up.
That was possible. Like I’d extended an invitation that I’d subconsciously known he wouldn’t accept. Taken the risk without actually taking the risk.
Damn. I was disappointed, but I supposed I was relieved, too. My career was safe from my stupidity for another day.
Well, just because I wouldn’t be dancing (or more) with Alex didn’t mean I had to waste this trip. I was here in this club, and I’d caught a couple of men glancing my way. The way that beautiful Spanish guy near the bar had raked his eyes up and down my body had done wonders for my confidence; it was hard to be afraid I was unattractive when someone that hot was openly checking me out.
Someone emerged from the crowd and quite clearly wanted to dance with me. He was a little shorter than me with long black hair, mischievous dark eyes, and a devilish smile.
Even as I stepped in to dance with him, I’d already decided we wouldn’t be hooking up—he was way too young. Early twenties, if I had to guess. Maybe twenty-five. I’d feel too weird getting intimate with someone this close to my sons’ ages.
He was cute, though, and he was fun to dance with. I liked the way he smiled and the way he moved, and this seemed harmless enough—dance for a few songs, have a good time, go our separate ways.
That was exactly what we did, too, and it was fun. I was starting to be less self-conscious on the dancefloor; everyone was here to have a good time, and nobody cared what anyone else was doing unless they wanted to be doing it with them.
The young guy and I drifted away from each other after a handful of songs, and I danced by myself for a little while. I paused to get a drink—just water, since I didn’t want to get too fucked up in a place like this—then returned to the floor.
Someone else found me in the crowd, and though he didn’t hold a candle to Alex—did anyone?—he was definitely attractive. In fact, as I moved in closer, I decided this was a guy I could see myself leaving the building with. He was older than the last one, though I definitely still had several years on him.
Potential for a hookup, maybe?
Eh, we’d see. Right now, we’d try dancing. If that went well, we could move toward the bar or a table, talk, and go from there. I didn’t even know his name yet, so no need to start double-checking I still had those condoms in my back pocket.
It wasn’t that I was opposed to anonymous sex. Even working in healthcare hadn’t scared me away from the idea.
The language barrier, though… that still made me nervous. What if he didn’t understand a boundary I tried to communicate? What if I didn’t understand one of his? God, that thought made my stomach knot up.
So… no hooking up unless we could understand each other. He didn’t even need to be fluent; just enough that we could clumsily communicate and not do something one or both of us regretted.
There had to be someone in here who spoke some English. Everyone said it was a little more common in Madrid than in Andalusia, and I’d already encountered a few English speakers in my hotel and at the train station. I could find someone in this place who spoke it too, right? Or was I hunting for a unicorn?
Trying to find something you know isn’t here so you can leave empty-handed without feeling like a failure?
Now you listen here, subconscious…
After the guy and I finished dancing, I decided I needed to cool off a bit and catch my breath, so I went to the bar again. I had just gotten a bottle of water when someone appeared beside me. I thought he wanted my spot at the bar, so I stepped aside to make room, but then I realized he was looking right at me.
Oh, he was hot, too. Wavy black hair. A gorgeous grin. Sexy eyes that might’ve been blue or green; it was hard to tell in this light.
He said something to me in rapid-fire Spanish, and I blinked. I’d barely caught any of the words, and the few I had, I didn’t understand.
He smiled. “British?”
I shook my head. “American.”
“Ah. You speak English, then?” His accent was thick, but I understood him, thank God.
“I do. And you do too, apparently?”
“Ah, some.” He wobbled his hand in the air. “Not, uh, not like…” He gestured at me.
I shrugged. I could work with that.
“Your name?” he asked.
“Connor,” I shouted over the music. “Yours?”
“Emiliano.” He took my hand. “Come on. Let’s dance.”
I smiled and let Emiliano lead me back out onto the floor.
He could dance, too. Goddamn. I had to wonder what else he could do with those hips. Maybe before tonight was over, I’d find out.
I liked the way his hand felt on the small of my back. I liked the closeness of our bodies, and the way his eyes sparkled in the disco lights. I liked being out in the open with a man, touching him in ways that were obviously not platonic.
How the fuck did I go my whole damn life without ever even dancing with a man?
Ooh, right. Married.
Well, no time like the present to make up for lost time.
By the end of the second song, though, I had a feeling he wasn’t interested. He wasn’t being rude or looking at me with disgust, but he was looking around a bit more, as if searching for someone else. Eh, it stung a bit—rejection was never fun—but he wasn’t a dick about it and there were still plenty of men in this club.
We danced for a few more songs before going our separate ways. It had been a little disappointing the first couple of times that happened, but some guys might’ve been here just to dance, not hook up. And some of them might have decided after a little dancing that I wasn’t someone they wanted to hook up with.
I could live with that. I was having a better time than I’d expected. Finding my groove on the dancefloor. Feeling less like a fish out of water and more like I might actually belong here.
Someone else appeared behind me, sliding a hand around my waist to my stomach and pulling me back against his firm, hot body. Oh, hell yeah.
Then his lips brushed my ear, and over the thumping music and through my earplug came the words, “One more song, and I was going to have to cut in.”
I spun around in his grasp, and… oh, fuck.
Alex grinned, his eyes absolutely on fire.
“You…” I stammered. “You came.”
“Of course I did.” He tugged me in closer, and his voice barely carried over the music as he growled, “It’s all I’ve been able to think about.”
My knees almost melted out from under me. “You and me both.”
He bit his lip, then leaned past me to speak in my ear. “If I could kiss you out in the open like this…”
I was kind of grateful for the music, since it swallowed up my very manly and dignified whimper. “We probably shouldn’t even be doing this much.”
“Probably not. But we are.” He slid his hands up my back. “If this shows up in a video online somewhere, we were drunk, it was dark, and we didn’t recognize each other on the dancefloor.”
I bit my lip and drew him in closer. “Think they’d buy it?” It was pretty dark apart from the disco lights.
His laugh was almost soundless, but I could feel the huff of breath, both in the rush across my skin and the way his chest moved. “Long as no one sees us leave the club together or doing more than dancing.”
He was probably right. And I’d been as straitlaced as they came throughout my career; I could get away with one drunken whoops in the dark.
I drew back enough to meet his gaze, and that didn’t help me keep a handle on my self-control. The temptation to kiss those lips was almost overwhelming. I’d been craving him like I’d never craved a damn thing in my life, and I wanted to taste his mouth again. “Christ, Alex…”
His eyebrows rose, as did the corners of his lips. “Hmm?”
“I don’t care who you are,” I rasped. “I don’t care what rank we are. I want you so damn bad I can’t think about anything else.”
He stared at me, gaze full of both lust and surprise. “You do?”
“The invitation to meet me in Madrid wasn’t a clue?”
Alex bit his lip as need smoldered in his eyes.
I wanted him. His mouth. His hands. His body. Every inch of him.
We could get away with what we were doing. It was dark. It was just dancing. We could tell anyone who saw us that we were drunk.
Crossing the line into getting physically intimate—well, that wasn’t a chance I was willing to take. Judging by the sliver of distance Alex was keeping between us—and the fact that he kept looking longingly at my mouth but never moved in for a kiss—told me we were probably on the same page.
“Swear to God,” he said, “I’m going to end up fucking you in the alley behind this building.”
In that moment, that didn’t sound half bad. Not the most comfortable or sanitary location, but I’d have Alex’s dick in my ass, so?—
“Wait two minutes,” he growled, jostling me out of my thoughts, “then meet me in the men’s room.”
And with that, he released me and disappeared into the crowd like a mirage, leaving my skin cool with his absence.
I… hadn’t imagined that, had I? I hadn’t hallucinated the sexiest dance and the filthiest promise of my life?
I was pretty sure I hadn’t. And if I was dreaming, well, I was going to follow this dream for as long as I stayed asleep. My nightmare-battered psyche owed me one, damn it.
After the longest two minutes of my life, I made my way through the crowd toward the back hallway, and I found the door to the men’s room. There were a few guys in here using it for its intended purpose. One stall was quite obviously occupied—at least two men were moaning and murmuring in Spanish, punctuated by skin slapping skin. Nobody in the room seemed to notice or care.
They also didn’t look when Alex grabbed the front of my shirt and hauled me back out into the hallway, which was crowded and very dark, and?—
Fuck, yes. I had him up against the wall, kissing him hard as he cupped my ass and pulled me harder against him. His kiss was even more frantic than it had been in my foyer a lifetime ago, and that said something. He was needy and vocal, moaning softly as he explored my mouth like he’d never tasted me in his life.
When I drew back, we were both panting and shaking all over. My hard-on strained against the front of my pants, rubbing his equally hard cock through our clothes.
“I’ve worked in healthcare too long to fuck in a bathroom stall,” he panted, “but I just couldn’t wait another minute.”
“Same,” I said, and claimed a longer, deeper kiss.
No, we wouldn’t fuck in there. The other guys in that stall were welcome to it, but… no.
“Goddammit,” I panted. “We need to go somewhere else.”
Alex shivered and rutted against me. “Yeah, we do.”
I thought fast. “Where are you staying?”
He blinked a few times as if he had to think about it. “The Regente Oeste.”
I nodded. “Okay. We’re going to go back out there,” I whispered, gesturing vaguely toward the rest of the club. “And we’re going to dance. With other people. If anyone from the base is here…” I shook my head. “They won’t think anything of it.”
Alex licked his lips. “And after we leave?”
“I’m staying at the Casa Chueca. Room 53.” I slipped a card key into his back pocket as I whispered, “Please come fuck me.”
The moan that escaped his lips was full of more wanton hunger than I’d ever heard before. “Did you bring condoms?”
“And lube.”
Alex squirmed. “Goddammit, I want to go now.”
“Me too.”
Our eyes locked.
“Do we really have to go out and pretend we want to be with other people?” he asked. “I mean, what do you think the odds are of someone from the base being here?”
I chewed my lip. “Probably pretty fucking slim.”
“Uh-huh. Exactly.” He slid his hand down over the front of my pants, making me groan with need. “How about you get your ass back to your hotel, get naked, and I’ll be there in half an hour?”
“You think I can wait half an hour to get fucked?”
He grinned, though his own desperation gleamed in his eyes. “I can wait if you can.”
I was pretty sure that half hour was going to make me go up in flames.
But Alex would definitely be worth the wait.