Chapter Twenty-Two
Maria
So update time: it turned out Perla, Bianca, and Allie were available. Actually, I believe Allie’s exact words had been, “They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but if I’m lucky it’ll be his cock, and he’ll want to welcome me home by letting me ride it.” Don’t ask, I rarely ever knew what was going on in Allie’s head.
On the way home, I had picked up some treats so we could make our own ice cream bowls with whatever toppings we wanted, and I had just finished making mine and Isabella’s bowls when Bianca walked through the door, heaving a sigh.
“Here you go, sweetheart,” I told Isabella, handing her a bowl and watching as she walked into the living room and sat on the white, plush rug. It was a new addition to the house, and I think it added something.
Allie hopped up on the counter and grabbed a white chocolate chip from the bowl. “Mmm. I can’t believe I’m the only one who appreciates white chocolate.”
I shrugged and was just about to say something when Bianca sighed again, making her presence known as she practically dragged her feet on her way to the counter. “Hello!” she exclaimed. “I sighed.”
Jade cocked a brow and turned her head from where she was seated on the couch, scrolling through our movie options. “Good for you?” she stated in a questioning tone, as though she wasn’t sure what else to say. Join the club, Jade. I was as lost as you were.
Perla tossed her phone down on the coffee table and sat on the floor beside Isabella. “I don’t get it. Why do we care you sighed? You making your presence known is nothing new, Bibi.”
Bianca rolled her eyes and grabbed a piece of licorice, popping the tip in her mouth and taking a bite. “Cute. The sigh was because I have something to say.” Then she gagged and pushed the licorice in front of her. “Holy shit! This is black licorice.”
I nodded. “Astute observation. Didn’t you notice it when you picked it up?”
She shook her head, sticking her tongue out and gagging again. Ever the dramatic one. “No. I just grabbed it. I needed something to chew on. I’m so frustrated with this new design I’ve been working on.”
“Change the design. Go back to the drawing board,” Allie suggested, like that was the simplest answer. I supposed it was, though.
Perla looked up from braiding Isabella’s hair as her eyes were fixed on the screen. It seemed Jade found a princess movie for her. Yeah, my daughter had blocked us out and was completely homed in on her movie—smart girl. “Maybe you need inspiration,” Perla inserted.
Bianca waved her hands every which way. “Forget that now. Who is eating black licorice? I’ve never known any of you to like it.” She tossed it to the side. “I certainly don’t, and I know my palate hasn’t changed.”
Jade shot a hand up and got up, meandering over to the kitchen. “I do!” She grabbed one and put it in her mouth, sighing happily as she swallowed a bite. “It’s the superior licorice. Red is fine, but eh.”
“Okayyy,” Bianca replied, shaking her head. “So why are we having a sleepover anyway?”
Allie hopped off the counter and sloshed in her slippers. “Jade wants to know about Mom. Maria said she wanted to hear stories about her.”
I nodded, bringing a finger that had chocolate syrup on it to my mouth. I let the flavor linger on my tongue for a moment and then closed my eyes, thinking back to what Dom said about how I always moaned when I enjoyed what I was eating. I supposed he was right—yet again—because I was just about to moan.
My cheeks heated, and I tried to push the thought far, far down.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Jade asked, circling a finger in front of my face.
I threw her a dirty look that I could only hope said what I was trying to silently communicate to her—don’t draw attention to me, then they’ll harp on it.
Even though she backed off and continued eating her licorice, Bianca had already picked up the thread. “You’ve been really weird lately.”
Had she been talking to Allie?
Perla finished braiding Isabella’s hair and patted her back. “There you go,” she whispered. “Go to the bathroom and take a look.”
Isabella oohed and aahed, playing with her hair. “Okay! Thank you, Aunt Perla.”
“You’re welcome, Peanut.”
Isabella went off to the bathroom with a skip in her step. She loved being doted on. The more attention she got, the happier she was. I supposed just as was with every kid her age. “You look very pretty,” I shouted to her.
“It’s best to get secrets off your chest, Maria,” Allie said, her eyes practically burrowing a hole through mine. “Anything you have to tell us?”
I gave her wide eyes and narrow lips. “No.” Then I turned to the rest of them and swallowed. “Of course not. Listen, I don’t know what you’re getting at, Bibi, but everything is just as it always is. Nothing new here.”
Perla crossed her arms. “Honestly, I agree with Bibi on this one. Between that photoshoot with Dom”—she whispered the last part, her eyes darting to the bathroom to make sure Isabella wasn’t coming back out—“and Allie said you canceled hot yoga with her. What’s going on?”
Did I tell them? I supposed I should, right?
But now hardly seemed like the time or place for that, especially with Isabella here.
Plus, then it’d be just like it had been with Allie—pure disappointment. That Dom and I weren’t more than what we were. That it had been going on for so long. Then there’d be the questions. Endless questions. Truth be told, I didn’t think I’d even have answers for all of them. At one point, yes. But not anymore.
My head told me the best thing I could do was take a break from the benefits part of my relationship with Dom. That would make the most sense.
My heart told me I needed to continue being with Dom, that with him was where I belonged. But in what way? Sexually? Was this all about how happy (read: satisfied) he made me in bed? Or was it about more? I didn’t have time to sit with my thoughts and think about my feelings. And, frankly, I didn’t want to. Part of me was scared I’d broken one of our rules and become emotional.
That would only lead to heartbreak, though. I didn’t see how it’d end differently.
Just as I was about to say something, Isabella came out of the bathroom, flipping her hair this way and that way. “I love it! What do you think, Mommy?”
I smiled, bending down and tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I think you found Mommy’s lipstick,” I said, noting the red lipstick on her lips and tapping her on the nose. “You’ll have to take that off before your bedtime.”
“I wanted to look pretty like you, Mommy,” she replied, smiling from ear to ear.
I kissed the top of her head. “That’s sweet, but you look pretty no matter what. You don’t need my lipstick for that.”
“Okay. I’ll only wear it for dance.”
I got up and pushed my hair to one side. “You know, your nonna used to dance in school just like you.”
Isabella’s eyes went wide, and Jade asked, “Really? She was a dancer?”
Bianca patted Jade on the back. “Oh, yeah. There’s actually a photo around here somewhere from her days on the competition dance team.”
“She danced competitively?” Jade questioned, her eyes going wider. “I danced competitively until I graduated high school.”
I shrugged. “Maybe you got her dancing feet.”
Allie laughed. “I got Dad’s two left feet.”
We all congregated in the living room and sat down, me and Perla on the floor with Isabella, Allie and Bianca on the couch, and Jade lounging across the loveseat. “Did she like black licorice?” Jade asked, quirking a brow and looking at all of us in turn.
I shook my head, chuckling. “No. She actually didn’t have a sweet tooth at all.”
Bianca’s eyes glossed over like she was thinking of the good days. “Yeah, she actually preferred salty over sweet. She could eat a bag of chips in one sitting.”
“Especially if they were barbecue. She loved barbecue chips,” Perla noted, her voice filled with adoration as she spoke about our mom.
Jade laughed. “What else?”
I swayed my head back and forth, trying to think of where to start. “Oh, she had this quirky thing that she couldn’t watch a movie she’d seen before. There had to be a long gap in time before she watched it again.”
Allie threw her head back in laughter. “She’d say, ‘we can’t watch this again, we just saw it.’”
Jade pulled her feet up and placed her hands on her knees, getting more comfortable. “Stop. That’s so unlike me. I can rewatch something the next day. Especially if I liked it.”
“Same!” we all shouted, even Isabella.
I played with the bottom of Isabella’s braid. “It’s taken us a while to get to this place, but I’m really glad we got here,” I said softly.
“I know Mom’s looking down at us right now smiling,” Bianca said.
“Yeah,” Perla agreed.
“And wondering why no one made popcorn,” Allie added.
I flicked the shell of a pistachio laying on the coffee table at her, and we all broke out into laughter. “What about the time Mom was gifted a pasta maker, and we came home from school with Dad to a house full of pasta?”
Bianca gasped, remembering. “Yes! It was hanging everywhere!”
“Okay, okay, now you have to tell me,” Jade said enthusiastically.
As Bianca launched into the story, I thought about how nice it was to be able to talk about Mom again and not feel anything but happiness.
* * *
“Well, Isabella is asleep. She was out as soon as her little head hit the pillow,” I announced coming back downstairs. My red lipstick still stained her lips, but I could only do so much scrubbing. “So what are we watching now?”
“Maria, where are these flowers from?” Perla asked suddenly as she walked into my dining room to pick something up.
I looked at the second large vase Paolo had sent me—this one was filled with yellow roses. They were so beautiful I decided to bring them home with me. “Not where but who,” I said, getting the attention of the rest of my sisters.
“Oooh! Do tell!” Bianca said, giddy as ever as she ran over to pluck a rose from the vase and sniff it. “Mmm, smells like you have an admirer.”
“Paolo,” I answered, staring down at my nails.
The room filled with the sound of gasping.
“Gicchio?” Perla asked, her mouth hanging open. “As in the Italian designer?”
I nodded.
“I’m sorry. Paolo Gicchio, as in the Paolo Gicchio, sent you flowers?” Bianca asked, clearly trying to wrap her head around this, her eyes growing wide as ever. She slapped a hand on her thigh. “Shut up!”
I chuckled and shrugged a shoulder.
“Okay,” Jade said, looking around the room. “I feel like I’m missing something.”
“I’m sure everyone feels that way,” Allie inserted, her eyes narrowing at me.
Geez, her stare made it feel like it was below zero in here. What happened to my one-night-stand-with-my-roommate fun sister? “Turns out when you design a lingerie collection together you realize how much you like a person,” I replied, acknowledging Jade’s question, too.
Jade nodded in appreciation, rolling her lips. “Nice.”
“You’re so lucky,” Bianca gushed, staring up with a glazed look. I prayed for Knox.
Allie came over and stood in front of me. “You like him? You like Paolo?” she asked, her tone inquisitive but also judgmental. Let’s be real, Allie’s question held a lot more than my sisters may have thought. Unfortunately, I knew she knew about me and Dom, and I knew what she was actually asking. Translation: you’re going to date another man when you could turn this benefits crap with Dom into a real relationship?
I licked my lips. “I don’t know. I don’t not like him,” I answered honestly. “But he seems to like me.” I was simply reading between the lines here. “He wants us to get together while he’s in New York this summer.” Don’t get me wrong, at first, I thought it was pretty innocent, as I’d told Dom, but then the second vase had come, and it had me questioning my original assumption.
“ Get together. To me that means get together ,” she said, waggling her brows. What? That was what I’d just said. “But what does that mean to him?” Bianca inquired.
I couldn’t speak for him, but I had a feeling get together didn’t mean the same thing to me as it did him, or even Bianca. Again, I shrugged, not entirely sure I could answer for what Paolo meant by it. “I don’t know.”
“Well, you need to find out,” Perla said, stating the obvious. “Call him.”
Wait, what? Call him? No. I mean, that didn’t seem like a good idea. I didn’t know, should I? Maybe I should call him. That would be the right thing to do, right? That way I could thank him for the flowers.
Gone and back in a flash, Bianca shoved my phone at me. “Here. Call him now.” Now? That seemed soon. Maybe I should have thought about it more.
“Nah, I think I’ll sleep on it,” I said, pushing the phone back to her.
Bianca rolled her eyes, and a snore fell from Jade’s lips. I knew what both of them were saying without words— don’t be so boring .
“Paolo is so dreamy. He’s got that sexy, sophisticated older man vibe. Oof, that gray hair around his temples, too. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to just run my fingers through it,” Bianca said, bringing a finger to her lips as she obviously gave the fantasy more thought.
“Hey, back off. You have a man,” I teased, plucking my phone from her hands. My gaze scanned the room, but it fell on Allie, who looked perturbed. I knew what she was thinking, but it wasn’t like that with me and Dom, and she needed to accept that. “Are you sure it’s not too late?” I asked, looking at the time. Yeah, that seemed like a good reason not to call. He could be sleeping. Okay, so it wasn’t that late, but some people liked to go to bed early to get an early start on their day the next morning. I knew I was one of those people—typically.
Jade’s eyebrows furrowed first. “Um, no. I’m with them, you need to call him. Sex with a mature man is—” She stopped short and gestured an explosion with her hands.
Let’s just say that I was immensely happy that Isabella went to bed. “You’ve slept with someone who was older than you?” I asked curiously.
Jade nodded, smacking her lips. “He was thirty years older than me actually. I still get hot just thinking about that night.” As if for effect, she fanned herself.
And we’d reached the point of too much sharing, thank you very much. “Okay, then. I still think it might be too late to call him.”
Swinging her arm over my shoulder, Bianca eyed me. “Listen, Grandma, just call him.” She tapped the phone in my hands before turning to pluck a rose and stick it between her teeth.
“What do I say?” I questioned, arching a brow.
“That you got the flowers,” Bianca said and rolled her eyes like I was a lost cause. I thought about that, but then what? Crickets? “Then let him do the talking,” she added, as if she’d read my mind.
I could do that. Yeah, I got this, I gave myself a very necessary pep talk. Then I dialed his number and waited while it rang. Once. Twice.
By the third ring he finally picked up. “ Ciao. ”
“Paolo, hi. It’s Maria Morelli,” I said and turned my back to my sisters. I couldn’t have a conversation like this with a man with them watching me.
Paolo chuckled. “ Si, lo so. ”
Ahh, I was screwing this up. Of course, he knew it was me, he had my number.
“Thank you for the roses. They’re beautiful.”
“Did you not get my first delivery?” The roses Dom saw. Days and days ago. . . .
“Uhh. . .” I laughed nervously. “No, I did. Just been busy. I’m so sorry.”
In a light, casual way—his very Italian way—Paolo chuckled again. “It’s okay. At least you called. Would you like to have dinner with me?”
This was it. No more debating. I had called him because I had a feeling he wanted to ask me out, that he was interested in me, so why not? What did I have to lose?
Darting my eyes to the side of me, I tried to see how close my sisters were to my ear. The answer: very. I took a few steps forward to walk away, entering the kitchen. “I’d love that.”
“ Va bene. I’ll send you details. A domani. ”
My stomach flipped over, and I wasn’t sure if it was nerves or excitement or a little bit of both. This was good, though. Maybe this came at the perfect time. I needed to go out on a date, to get away from this situation with Dom. It would give me time to step away from all these feelings I was having that I didn’t even know what to make of. “Looking forward to it,” I finally answered.
“ Buonanotte , Maria.”
“Good night, Paolo,” I said and hung up the phone to only turn around and practically run into my sisters—well, all of them minus Allie, who was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed.
“Well?” Perla and Bianca practically shouted in unison.
“We’re going to dinner.”
“Ohmigod!” Bianca screeched and started dancing around my kitchen, stopping only briefly to take my hands and make me dance with her. “You are so lucky, Maria. Paolo is—”
“Literally perfect,” Perla finished her thought and nudged Allie’s shoulder. “What’s your problem?”
Allie shrugged, brushing her off. Oh, Allie. Get. Over. It. “Nothing. I’m just tired. It’s great, Maria. Paolo is perfect, she’s right.” Then she stalked into the living room. I believed Allie was happy for me and that she did think it was great, but that didn’t mean she still wasn’t sad about the prospect of me and Dom happening being flushed down the toilet with this whole Paolo thing. Problem was? We were never going to happen anyway.
“We need to pick something for you to wear. You’ll definitely need my help.” Bianca was halfway up the stairs. “Come on!”
“Now?” I asked. “I’m not even sure where we’re going, Bibi.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes, now, because it doesn’t matter where you’re going. You need to look fabulous! You’re going out with a fashion designer. There’s no question you need to look great.”
“And I won’t look great if I dress myself?”
She arched a brow. Okay, stupid question. Apparently, I didn’t know how to dress myself. I thought I did, but what did I know?
“Where do you keep your cutlets?” Bianca asked, peering over her shoulder as I walked behind her into my bedroom.
Jade snorted behind me. “What?” she shrieked. “What the hell is a cutlet? Don’t those belong in the kitchen?”
I chuckled and waved a hand behind me, trying to tell her it was no big deal. “Silicone boob inserts to enhance the form. Make you appear more voluptuous,” I explained. “They’re called cutlets.”
“By who?” Jade asked, her voice hitting a high as she grew sincerely curious. We laughed, and Jade defended, “What? I’m serious. Who would say that?”
“Bianca,” Perla answered.
“Call them what you want, but a man like Paolo is going to want to see your boobs perky with a little spilling out on the top. We’ll need to pick something that accentuates your curves, too,” she said, ushering me into my own bedroom. “Come on. We don’t have any time to waste. You have to dress to impress.”
Allie walked around us and sat on the edge of my bed. “Ditch the panties, too.”
“What?” I did a double take, my head spinning so fast I feared I might have given myself a headache. Could she have known? How? I shook my head—no, there was no way. “I think I’ll wear panties.”
She sliced a hand through the air by her neck as though saying that was a no-go. “Big mistake. You don’t know where the night will lead, and you’ll want him to have easy access. Men like that.”
I shook my head profusely. I couldn’t. It didn’t feel right. That was— Something I did on a whim at Dom’s request. It was all fun and games. It was like our thing. Okay, maybe that sounded stupid. None of this mattered anyway because—“I’m not sleeping with Paolo.”
“Ever?” Bianca yelled.
I waved her off. “Shhh! You’re going to wake Isabella.”
Bianca cringed and mimed zipping her lips. “Sorry.”
“Oh, you’re no fun,” Jade booed, her lips turning down into a pout.
I swallowed. “Relax, I meant not on the first date.”
Allie snapped her fingers and pointed at me. “Smart. Make him wait for it.” Then she winked. “Lay off Maria, you guys. She doesn’t need an active sex life.”
My eyes grew wide, and I placed a hand on my forehead. Allie is something else.
“As much as I’d love to sit around and talk about Maria’s lack of a sex life, this is serious business,” Bianca said, opening my closet and walking in like she owned the place.