Chapter Twenty-Seven
Dominic
Remind me again why I had thought doing this shoot with Maria was a good idea because, as I slammed the door shut on my trailer, I was drawing a blank. Really, my mind was so blank that an artist would be in fucking heaven with the fresh canvas they had to work with.
The ninth circle of Hell had nothing on that shoot. Every part of it was torture.
And it wasn’t just the shoot. It was everything lately. Knowing she was seeing Paolo got to me in ways I had never imagined her dating would. My jaw had never twitched as much as it did whenever that man popped into my brain, what with his perfect-for-Maria ways. Fuck, I think that was the part that raked at me the most, knowing how good they could be together.
The man fit her life like a goddamn glove. I wouldn’t bother recounting all the ways they were a good match because I’d already done that, but damn if it didn’t piss me off. Mostly because I knew what she didn’t—I loved her, and we could also be a good match. Better than good—fucking amazing.
I couldn’t take it anymore. While I was out there, “soulfully” staring into Maria’s eyes as her naked body hovered over mine, I realized something. Those weren’t just any eyes. They weren’t just my friend Maria’s eyes. They were the eyes of the woman I loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with. No Paolo. No rules. No boundaries. Just me and Maria—together in every way imaginable.
And Isabella.
I wanted to wake up every single morning next to Maria.
I wanted to help her tuck Isabella in every night.
I wanted us to be family—not just because we were so close that we might as well have been, but because we were legally family. Bound for life by a piece of paper that might have seemed meaningless to some but meant everything to me. It meant that through thick and thin, no matter what, Maria and I chose each other and Isabella.
That was already true and they were already my whole damn world. But without that validation, I was just a pitiful jackass. Just like my family had said I was. Worse, I might’ve been the pawn my father had suggested I was, and not the king I’d made myself out to feel like.
I didn’t know what I was waiting for, either. Nothing could happen if she didn’t know how I felt. Possibly the biggest regret I’d ever have in my life, if I lost my chance with her once and for all, would be that I’d never told her.
That I’d never told her how attracted to her I was. How attracted to me I felt she was. Because, to me, our chemistry could ignite a fire large enough to burn down an entire state. It was all-consuming. Then there was our emotional connection. Nothing could ever compare to that—it was the type of connection that only came from being friends for as long as we had been. No one would ever compare to Maria. No one could.
She wasn’t just some girl.
She was my girl. At least, that was how it’d always felt.
And it was about damn time I told her.
Maybe if I did, she’d come around to the idea and admit she felt our connection, our chemistry, too. Maybe she didn’t love me, but maybe she could.
I’d been in love with her for so long, what did waiting a little longer matter until she got there?
I left my trailer, determination fueling my every step, and swung open the door to hers.
Inside, Maria sat in front of the mirror, still wearing her robe. She was fussing with her hair, her eyes sparkling as she looked back at herself. Shit, my heart pounded in my chest thinking of how far she’d come. She was sexy and confident, and if you listened closely you could hear her roar. She was the fiercest, strongest, and most beautiful woman I’d ever known. I felt like the luckiest man in the world to call her my friend, and at one point, that would have been enough, but I was done missing out on my chance.
There was never going to be a good time.
It had to be now or never because it felt like I’d been waiting a lifetime to do this—to tell Maria that I loved her.
I was making one of the boldest moves on the board, and I hoped to hell it didn’t come back to bite me on the ass, but that was what happened when you laid it all out there, right? I couldn’t predict her next move, and it was nerve-racking. I felt hopeful, though. Fuck this, I’m going to do it. Now. Before it’s too late. Before I’m out of moves and the game is over.
I cleared my throat and approached her, her lips parting on a sigh. They were so full, so perfect, it was all I could do not to go over there, collect her in my arms, and kiss her breathless. That would have to wait, though.
“Dom, that was so. . . liberating,” she confessed and smiled as wide as ever. “I’m so frigging glad I agreed to do this with you. I hope—” As she turned and studied me closely, she stood up and walked right up to me.
We were mere inches from one another, and it would’ve been so easy for me to just pull her close and forget the whole thing, but I couldn’t. I didn’t bother to close the gap between us.
She must’ve sensed something was off with me because she pulled her robe tighter around her frame and furrowed her brows, her lips turning down into a frown. “Are you okay? You don’t look so great.”
I supposed I didn’t. W as there a look a man had before he told his best friend he’d always loved her? If there was, then that was my look. “I will be,” I admitted with a shaky smile.
“Good. You were—”
My pulse ricocheted, and I could feel the blood pumping in my ears. Shit, just do it. Don’t you dare chicken out. Do it. “I love you, Maria,” I basically blurted out. Once the three words were out of my mouth, I knew there was no taking them back. Although, I had to say I didn’t want to because it felt like an elephant that had been sitting on my chest just got the hell off, and I could finally breathe. The truth really will set you free.
Hold on. Why wasn’t she saying anything? It was her turn to say something. She had to respond. Literally, any response at all would do. That was how this went.
Her face was unchanging until her lips crept into a smile, and her expression softened, inching a step closer to me. Was it too much to hope she was going to say something along the same lines?
Finally, she replied, “Aw, I love you, too, Dom,” in a cheeky, sing-song voice.
What the fuck? I shook my head, my eyes studying her closely. “No, Maria, you’re not understanding me,” I tried again, grinning as I repeated the words, “I love you.”
More of that deafening silence I hated. But she was processing my words, finally understanding me. I could tell because the gears looked like they were turning in her head. But then her face fell. Actually fell. “Oh,” she finally broke the awkward silence.
I raked a hand through my hair, frustrated. “Oh? That’s all you’ve got for me?”
Maria stuttered. “I. . . umm. . . you. . .” Maria never stuttered. She was sure-footed, confident, and always one step ahead.
But obviously not this time.
“Don’t date Paolo. Date me. Let’s explore us as a couple. We’re practically right there anyway. Let’s do it. I know you have feelings for me. Maybe not in the same way, but they’re there. You could get there. I know it.”
Silence. Again.
But I was a patient man, so I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
“Dom, I. . . I don’t know what to say.”
I shook my head. “You never wondered about me? About us? All these years and nothing?”
“You’re my best friend.”
“Who treats you like a queen. Who would give you the world. Who doesn’t date. I’m asking you to just give me an inch. Don’t date Paolo. It’s not too late.”
But Maria shook her head and her eyes fell to the ground, a pout tugging on her lips. “We. . . can’t. I can’t.”
I took a step back and fought the urge to scream the word “why” from the top of my lungs. This wasn’t going like I’d expected. Not even a little. “Fine. At least I said it. But you should know I can’t keep going like we’ve been. I just can’t. Not anymore, Maria.” And now there was nothing left for me to say. She obviously didn’t feel the same way. Not even close.
I had to get the hell out of her trailer. I couldn’t be with her. So I turned and walked out, feeling—yet again—like a schmuck. Only this time for a whole new reason.