Chapter 14 #2
“I always wanted a big family. I was always so envious of other kids, especially during birthday parties and holidays, because most of the time, they were surrounded by so many people who loved them. Other kids, aunts, uncles. It’s incredibly lonely being an only child.
Especially being raised by older grandparents.
I had Gramps and Grams, of course, but I longed for a big family and cousins to play with.
” The sigh that leaves her lips is wistful, her eyes full of hope, and it makes me feel protective of her.
Like I want to be the guy who makes sure that she never feels that way again.
After another sip of her wine, she adds, “And I think that having so many traditions together is just… so special.”
“I love that about you.”
Her brow arches. “What?”
My shoulder dips in a shrug, and then I take another hefty sip of my wine.
I’m not much of a wine guy, but I didn’t want her to drink alone.
Though we both know she’s just as much of a bourbon girl as I am.
“You always see the good in things. I’m thankful for my family, and as much as I was honestly dreading coming here today, I had fun too.
It was nice to step away from the bar and from the bustle of everyday life, but I guess it’s something that I take for granted.
Having them always be here, having things like traditions that we carry over from the years.
Creating new ones together as our family expands.
It’s all stuff that you don’t even really think about until it’s put into perspective. ”
Rosalie draws her lip between her teeth and rolls it between them before she speaks.
“I’ve just always been a glass-half-full kind of girl, I guess.
I do try to see the bright side in most things, and if I can’t…
I make one. It’s kind of why my friendship with Kennedy is so perfect.
She’s a failed optimist, as I like to say. ”
A chuckle vibrates through my chest. “Failed optimist?”
“Yeah. She’s just got so much hope and overpowering emotions that when something disappoints her, it’s the end of the world.
And sometimes, instead of letting that just temporarily disappoint her, she chooses to believe the worst. I’m the opposite.
I’m the levelheaded friend, calm and steady.
Always think things through and make a measured decision.
I know you probably thought I was insane when we first met that day at the bar, and honestly?
I was kind of acting that way.” She laughs lightly and shakes her head.
“Admittedly, you kind of flustered me that day. I’m not used to that.
You threw me off-kilter, and I… was just behaving very unlike myself. I’m sorry about that.”
When she winces, scrunching her nose adorably, I shrug.
“No apology necessary. I thought you were fucking beautiful from the moment I saw you, and I loved that you were standing toe to toe with me, ready to give me the same shit I was giving you. It just made me want to do it even more to see if I could get the same response.”
Even from across the hot tub, I can see her expression turn shy, and she bites back a laugh.
I toss the remaining wine in my glass back and place it on the table beside the hot tub, then slide to the bench beside her, the distance between us too far since the moment she stepped in.
“I’m not sure I ever really said it, but… thank you for stepping in with Bradley. I appreciate it,” she murmurs. My eyes fall to the droplet of water clinging to her bottom lip, and I fight the urge to lean forward and swipe it away with my tongue.
“Fuck that asshole. You know how I feel about him. I’d like to beat his ass if I could.” Her throat bobs in a rough swallow when I lean closer. “I might not know everything about you, Rosalie, but I know that fucker never deserved you. Not by a fucking mile.”
Her deep, brown eyes hold mine, soft and yet guarded at the same time. “I think I realize that now. It just…”
When she trails off, glancing down at her wineglass, I reach for her chin, grasping it between my fingers and tipping it up.
“Just what?”
She shifts beside me and doesn’t answer the question at first, as if she’s deciding if the answer is even worth it.
But then she sighs. “It just took me a long time to build myself back up after what I went through with him, and truthfully, I’m not sure if I’ll ever feel the way I wish I did about myself. ”
“We don’t have to talk about him anymore if it makes you fee—”
“No,” she cuts me off with a shake of her head.
“It’s okay. I didn’t really want to say all of this on the carriage ride, but let’s just say that…
Bradley made me feel like I was never enough.
He made me constantly question my self-worth by the end of our relationship.
The comments about my… body, my weight, how I carried myself, what I wore.
It was so much worse than I even realized when I was still in the relationship.
I didn’t realize how badly it affected me until it was over. ”
That idiot. I knew he was an asshole, but I had no idea that it was like that. Comments about her weight? Her body? What the fuck?
What the hell was he even thinking? Did he not realize what he had right in front of his face?
Red-hot anger burns through my veins like kindling being incinerated.
“Does that piece of shit have anything to do with the fact that you’re in the hot tub in a T-shirt?” I say quietly, watching her eyes widen at the question, breath hitching slightly.
“I…” She trails off and tries to look away once more, until I grab her chin.
“I’m guessing yeah, it does.”
The pieces are coming together now. The T-shirt, the comments she’s made about herself that I wouldn’t have thought anything of until now, what she said on the carriage ride that night. How she refused to eat that first night she came to the house.
Next time I see him, I might have to show him what it’s like when a retired hockey player who was known for being rough on the ice puts their fist into his face.
“It’s not just him.” Her voice is barely above a whisper as she stares back at me with endless eyes, my thumb sweeping a path absentmindedly at the edge of her jaw. I should let go, sit back, keep my hands to myself, but I’m not.
Because I want to touch her. I want to be close to her.
“I’ve always been a bigger girl. I was made fun of growing up, and it seemed like Bradley simply played heavily into insecurities that were deep-rooted and already there. Sometimes I couldn’t even believe that he chose me. I always felt like he was way too attractive to be with a girl like me.”
“Bullshit,” I spit, unable to stop the word from spewing out of my mouth.
“That fucker never deserved to lay a single goddamn finger on you, Rosalie. It’s you that was too good for him.
And you know what? It’s good that he fucked up and lost you because then I never would’ve had the chance to make you mine, Sugar.
You are beautiful. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
Without a doubt, without question. I love your body. ”
Her lips part, and her mouth falls open slightly, causing my mouth to twitch. She likes that nickname more than she wants to let on. “You are perfect. Every inch of you. And if you’ll let me, I want you to give me the chance to prove it to you.”