35. Connor
CONNOR
Iwatch the snippet SoccerQueens posted on their IG this morning—the third clip since the YouTube interview loaded up two days ago—and have to resist putting a heart reaction on the soundbite.
“I officially plan to play in the NWSL next year. If a team will have me.” She smiles.
“Oh, you’re going to find a home,” the interviewer says. “And I can’t wait to watch.”
My hand twitches, knowing our secret dating means I shouldn’t interact. But when I put my phone down, I’m grinning as big as Eden was. So many good things are coming together, for both of us.
Case in point—a couple of hours later, I’m driving with Rawley to our first home game since I made the squad, and despite the fact that I won’t play, won’t even suit up, I’m fucking excited.
I’m part of this now. Something I actually want to do.
When we get to the facility, I skip the locker room—practice players aren’t supposed to be in there on game days. Instead, I head out right onto the field and walk to our section of the sideline.
Mike’s there already too, surprisingly. He greets me with a smile, which I return.
“You always here so early? I’m the new guy, so that’s my excuse.”
“Ha, I’m hardwired that way. I hate being late.”
“I feel that.”
“There’s nothing like being here with the grass untouched, the stands starting to fill up. I don’t take anything for granted.”
I also feel that right now. This is surreal. I thought this dream was dead.
“What were you doing for work before this opening came?” he asks.
I explain my internship to him. “I have an open invitation to go back after the season. The practice squad pay is a godsend, though. It sucked not having any income at all. I’m hoping that will let me settle into the internship more, not having to worry about money.”
He nods his head. “Yeah, I’m in a similar boat. In the off-season, I’m taking classes to get my Master’s in Education, so I can go coach and teach somewhere.”
“That’s cool.”
“You have a girl?”
The abrupt change in topic startles me into honesty. “Yeah.” Oh shit. “I mean, it’s kind of new. But there’s someone. How about you?”
He looks amused at my bumbling answer. “It’s like that, huh? Yeah, I’m engaged. We’ve been together since college.”
“Nice.”
Thankfully, that line of questioning is broken up as more players, staff, and coaches show up. The players suiting up start their warm-ups on the field, and we get pulled in different directions.
On my side, when Jeremy appears, he chats with me before running on the field. “You’ll see me do the same sequence as in practice to get loose.”
“Okay, great.”
“During the game, shadow me on the sidelines, so you can get the gist of how I stay ready. You never know when the defense is going to run back a turnover for a touchdown, and you’re going to be called in for the extra point.”
I’d been in that very scenario several times at Princeton. Still, learning from a pro how he manages his prep throughout the game is going to be huge.
“I appreciate it, Jeremy.” Sincerity floods my voice. He could be a jerk or just ignore me. Adopting me into his fold is really solid of him.
“You bet, I’m going to head out there.”
Once the game starts, Jeremy is true to his word.
He has four field goal attempts and two extra kicks, only missing one of the longer field goals.
I watch his every move both on the field and off, as he models how to handle game days.
Del also pops over and talks me through a couple of the scenarios that come up.
It’s interesting, I don’t spend much time chatting with my brothers or Johnson. They’re all business, which is understandable. Johnson and Rawley have reason to talk to each other, as quarterback and wide receiver, but there’s no need for them to interact with a kicker.
Only toward the end of the game do I connect with Landon. It’s now 20-7 with four minutes left, so the win is in hand.
“Nice view, isn’t it?” Landon jokes as he steps beside me.
“Can’t complain,” I kid back.
He brings his hand to the middle of my shoulders. “It’s something special to have you here, Connor. No matter how long this lasts, I’m so glad we’re getting this moment.”
“Me too.”
“So you’re going to be at Avery’s tonight?” Rawley’s driving me home from the game, and it feels prudent to double-check. Last thing I want right now is my brother walking into what I have planned.
“Yup. Not that I don’t love you being at the condo, but it’s nice to have the privacy of her house.”
I’m not surprised, especially since Avery’s returning from a three-day trip for a commercial shoot. I’m honestly counting the days until he announces that he’s moving into her place.
Hopefully I’m in a position to get my own soon—I couldn’t afford to take over his mortgage, and no way am I letting him cover for me long term.
In the meantime, it’s huge that Eden and I have the condo to ourselves tonight. I want us to take our time. My research this week has been…illuminating.
Fundamentally, the online guidance emphasized the importance of establishing trust. One of the key things I want to go for tonight, and earn from her in this context.
Which means taking everything even slower. With lots of communication about what feels good, and what doesn’t.
On top of that, it turns out there are entire checklists of possible activities. For people with experience in kink, the lists help communicate likes and dislikes. But speaking for myself, I don’t even know what I enjoy most.
Eden had flagged her favorite scene in the book as one involving food play, so that’s a clue, and where I’m starting us tonight. From there…definitely it’ll be good to have a more thorough perspective from her end.
Which means not pushing things tonight too far, too fast. That’s fine. Because my interest in her—it’s been burning long before this newest discovery. I’m still fucking blown away that I get to have her in my life, period.
“Here you are,” Rawley says as he parks outside the front lobby. “Chez Battle.”
“Thanks, don’t expect all those leftovers to still be around when you return.”
He’d made a massive batch of veggie egg bites this morning. I’m definitely offering them to Eden tomorrow. Tonight, I have other plans to feed her.
Of course he doesn’t know any of this, but still snorts. “Not with your garbage disposal of a stomach. Good thing I can afford you.”
I know he means the comment as a joke, but my stomach twists. Once these practice squad checks start rolling in, I need to take care of things myself.
“Have fun. Say hi to Avery for me.”
Walking into the building, I greet the lobby attendant, who responds in kind. “Good evening, Mr. Battle. There’s a grocery order waiting here for you.”
Just as I planned—I’d called it in while waiting for Rawley after the game.
“I’m going to check one thing, and then I’ll be back down to get it.”
I grab an elevator, but head to the roof instead of Rawley’s floor.
When the doors open, it’s empty as always.
The rooftop is open to anyone in the building, but the people who pay for these expensive condos aren’t exactly the type to hang out in communal spaces.
Each residence has its own smaller balcony anyway.
Still, the building management company has the rooftop set up for use. Cozy outdoor couches are centered around a sturdy-looking coffee table, and in a corner is a hot tub. Rawley swears he’s never seen people use it.
The space is perfect for what I have planned. I pick up the groceries from downstairs and then get organized.
An hour later, the building attendant calls me and lets me know that Eden’s here.
I head back down to collect her. When the elevator opens on the ground level, she’s already smiling in my direction, waiting for my arrival.
She’s wearing a sleeveless pale blue dress with a white cardigan thrown over it—simple, effortless, and natural.
Perfect for Eden. The glow of her skin and brightness in her eyes light a matching flare in my chest.
She’s all mine tonight.
“You look beautiful.”
“Thanks.”
“Come with me.” I take her hand and start guiding her back to the elevator. “We’re heading to the roof.”
“Oooh, intriguing.” I give her hand a squeeze as we step in.
Only after we reach the roof do I drop her hand. She does a slow spin around, taking it all in. “Oh my gosh, this is incredible.”
I don’t know exactly what part she’s responding to, because there are a few possibilities. The grandness of the rooftop space, maybe—empty except for us. The sun is going down, so the colors across the sky have split into oranges, yellows, and blues.
And there are the flowers I have waiting for her on the coffee table. A pretty mix of hydrangeas and white accent flowers.
Unintentionally, the bouquet matches her outfit.
“Do you want to sit down?” I walk toward a cooler I brought up and grab us two seltzers.
“Are these…did you get these?” She brushes her hands against the petals of one of the hydrangeas as she takes a seat on a couch.
My lips turn up. “I did. You can take them home with you tomorrow.” The thought of her room smelling like my flowers stirs something in me.
Her eyes widen a fraction. “That’s…thank you. They’re gorgeous.”
When I sit down, I extend my arm behind her shoulders on the top of the couch. She leans back, her hair tickling my skin—and I can’t help myself. I bend my arm so my fingertips can graze against the side of her neck.
She shivers, but doesn’t move an inch.
A small smile rises on her face a beat later. “So, what was it like to be on the sidelines with your brothers?”
“Wild. I wish I could play, but I’m glad to have this opportunity.” I haven’t fully processed what’s happened this week, if I’m honest with myself.
She tilts her head slightly. “You still could play. You never know.”
I doubt Jeremy is going anywhere, but I grin at her optimism. “Yeah, maybe. It’s interesting though, everything with Landon has changed so much over the years.”
“How so?”
“For most of my childhood, Landon was the person I looked up to the most. A leader, stellar at sports, confident, and strong.”
“Classic oldest sibling material.”
“Yeah, and I was always treated like a kid brother, as in a kid. I wasn’t sure we’d break out of that mold as adults, with our roles off-balance, but I think we have.”
Understanding crosses her face. “That’s a good thing, right?”
“Definitely. He and Rawley have had some tough moments where he didn’t show Rawls respect, but maybe that meant Landon was already trained by the time he got to me.” I laugh lightly, and she follows.
“Now that I know you, it’s kind of weird to think of you as a little brother. The youngest. You don’t have that aura.”
Her words confirm something that I’ve thought about for a long time. “I’ve never said this out loud before, but I feel like I’m more suited to be an older brother. Only our birth order didn’t cooperate.”
She nods. “I could see that.”
“Not worth dwelling on.” I smile at her.
“You’re on equal footing now, anyway.”
Not totally, but I appreciate the sentiment, and I give her a firm peck. “So, how was your day?”
She inches closer, our sides almost touching now. “I watched the game, of course.”
“Of course.”
“Otherwise, I focused on my senior capstone. I’m behind where I want to be for that seminar.”
“Does it involve lab work?”
“No, I was nervous I wouldn’t have time for a lab-based project. More scheduling to worry about…so I’m doing a case study report on existing literature.”
“On a neuro topic?”
She puts her hand on my knee. “Yeah, how the brain and the gut communicate.” She turns her face up to me, grinning. “Not exactly date material.”
I’d listen to her talk science all night if I didn’t have other plans for us. “Do you know how hot it is that you’re so smart?”
“I’m not that smart. Just normal smart.”
I pull her into my body, closing the small gap that remains. “Yeah, not buying it.” I cup her cheek and bend down to kiss her softly.
When I pull back, a delicious blush has once again emerged on her cheeks. Reminding me of what I intend for tonight.
“Let’s debate your brilliance another time. Do you want to eat?”