Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
SADIE
I wasn’t expecting Gideon to jump up for joy or anything, but even so, his reaction disappointed me. He stared at the flash drive like it was a dead cockroach, his lip curling as he scowled.
“You went to Rock Bottom for this?”
“Okay, let’s try that again.” I gave him a sharp, humorless smile. “Instead of being an absolute jerk about it, you can say something along the lines of, ‘Wow, Sadie, you’re so clever and resourceful. I’m so glad to have you around.’”
“Wow, Sadie, you walk into a biker bar with no backup for a flash drive of questionable origin that may or may not contain anything of value.”
Curling my fingers into a fist, I held back a growl. Anger sizzled inside me as I glared at Gideon. “That,” I hissed, “was rude. You still don’t have any footage of Mr. Titty, right? Other than our wedding day? Well, that is video of him tagging Rock Bottom!”
“I didn’t ask you to go gathering evidence for me,” he replied through clenched teeth.
“You didn’t ask me for anything!”
“Exactly!” Gideon puffed out big, angry breaths, glaring at me with those ice-blue eyes.
Marrying him had been the biggest mistake of my life. I wasn’t going to be able to think straight for a decade, just from the effect he had on me. “While we’re airing our grievances, how about you tell me what the hell that was, in there.” I tilted my head toward the bar.
“What are you talking about?”
“What am I talking about?” I screeched. “What am I talking about!”
“Yes, Sadie! What the hell are you talking about?”
“You kissed me!” My voice, mortifyingly, was shrill, and it broke on the last word.
Gideon’s glare intensified. He stood close enough that I could feel the heat of him. Close enough that I had to tilt my chin up to meet his stare. “Yeah,” he replied in a low voice. “That bother you?”
It didn’t bother me; that was the problem. But kissing Gideon hadn’t been part of our agreement. We were supposed to be married on paper. He’d get to keep his business. I’d get my fresh start. That was the deal.
But every time Gideon did something nice for me, it made my thoughts rush toward married bliss and love and rainbows and butterflies and unicorns. And a kiss? It set me on fire. It made me forget all the ways that I needed to keep myself safe.
Sex and intimacy needed to be off the table. We were married in name only. That was the way for me to survive this without breaking my own heart in the process.
The alternative was admitting to Gideon about the vaginismus. Admitting to myself how much I craved intimacy with him—emotional and physical. And once I did that, I’d have to see his endless disappointment in me. Just like everyone else.
No. I liked it here. I wouldn’t ruin it by letting him in. This right here—how fucking rude he was—was proof that I couldn’t open up to him, ever.
I would never have it all, so I had to carve out a little sliver of life where I knew I could be content. A friend or two. My business. A place to stay. That was enough. It had to be enough; I would never have anything more.
“It bothers me that you marched in there and made a show of kissing me,” I finally replied. “It bothers me that even now, you haven’t thanked me.”
“Maybe you wanted to ride Cash’s bike,” Gideon replied with a curl of his lips.
“Oh, no,” I said, brushing past him. “We’re not doing this. You’re not turning this on me and making me feel bad for being a woman who exists in proximity to other men.”
“He was touching you.”
I whirled around. “That’s more than you’ve done!”
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. He wasn’t meant to touch me; that was our agreement. The fact that I couldn’t stop myself from falling for him was an inconvenience. It was my problem to deal with.
But now he stared at me like he’d never seen me before. Like he was trying to read something in me that he couldn’t quite believe. “You want me to touch you?”
Yes. The word was on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t say it out loud. That was one step toward vulnerability. One step toward mess. One step toward disaster. I turned my back on Gideon again and mumbled, “Forget it.”
“Sadie!” His steps hurried after me, but I didn’t turn to look at him. If I did, he might see the tears I tried to fight.
“Leave me alone, Gideon,” I said. “Take the USB and go to work. I know you’d rather be there than here with me.” I marched back down Main Street without looking back. I found a garbage can and tossed the rest of my matcha latte away. My stomach was in knots; I couldn’t finish it.
A minute later, Gideon’s SUV rolled along the road beside me. “Sadie,” he said softly. “Get in the car. I’ll drive you back to town.”
“No.”
“Sadie. Please.”
“No.”
He sighed, but he didn’t drive off. He just rolled alongside me at a walking pace, even when two cars came up behind him and honked.
I tried to wave him on, but Gideon was stubborn.
He just kept driving beside me, occasionally glancing over and arching his brows like he was asking me to get in the car.
I wouldn’t. Couldn’t.
All these little acts of service were weakening my resolve.
I couldn’t let these silly feelings win.
I could not fall in love with Gideon. Not truly.
Not in the deep, everlasting way that I’d always dreamed of.
What a disaster that would be! I had to keep him at arm’s length, or else this whole arrangement would fall apart.
So, despite the honking and the ridiculousness of Gideon rolling at three miles an hour beside me, I walked all the way back to Life’s a Stitch and turned down the side street where I’d parked my car.
And stopped short.
One ugly word had been scratched into the white paint across the passenger side of my car:
LEAVE
This time, there was no doubt. The vandalism was deliberately targeting me. And it was escalating.
I never heard him get out of the car, but suddenly, Gideon’s arm went around my waist, and he wrenched me against his side to hold me close.
I was sure he could feel the fine tremors going through my body as I stared at the damage, read and re-read the word.
His phone was in his other hand. “Jack,” he growled, “check every camera we have near the bakery. Everything. Someone just threatened Sadie.”
GIDEON
I would find the person who did this. Hunt them. Hurt them.