Chapter 15
Act II, Scene VII: TA Studios, Hackney
Kalina
W e stepped into complete darkness, and my hand was nestled inside Titan’s firm grip.
‘You can tell me if you’re not okay in here. It can get a little claustrophobic for some.’
‘I’m okay. Trying not to fall on my face.’
‘I’ve got you.’ He gave my hand a squeeze and led me further into the room. He placed my hand on a wooden tabletop and walked away. ‘Wait here.’
He let go and movement and rustling sounded behind me before the room was bathed in red light. I blinked until my eyes adjusted and took in the long workbench. It held various contraptions on top of it.
‘Are you okay?’ He’d returned to my side.
‘Claustrophobic for some? How many women have you brought in here?’
‘Am I sensing some jealousy?’
‘I want to know if this is one of your moves.’
He held back a smile. ‘No.’
He was showing me the ropes, and I read into things again. The little voice in my head needed to be put in her place.
‘For the sake of your sanity,’ he said. He walked toward the right side of the room and returned with a light-coloured piece of fabric in his hand. ‘You’re the first person I’ve brought in here other than Scarlet.’
‘Oh.’
‘Now turn around.’
‘What?’ I didn’t move.
‘Do you trust me?’
‘No,’ I said, but I did as instructed.
He let out a laugh before he slipped his arms over my head. ‘You’re so stubborn.’
The light-coloured fabric turned out to be an apron he tied at my lower back.
It sent tiny shivers down my spine.
He held out a pair of latex gloves. ‘Here, put these on.’
‘Why don’t you have to wear this?’ I snapped the gloves in place.
‘Because I do this all the time.’
I rolled my eyes, even though I was certain he wouldn’t see it. ‘What do we do now?’
‘Step over here, to the enlarger,’ he said and motioned to a giant microscope looking machine.
‘What if I mess it up?’ I stepped forward tentatively.
‘I’m right here, I’ll guide you.’ He stood behind me. ‘You see the image below? You’re going to look through this lens to make sure it’s in focus.’ He pointed at the side. ‘This is the focus finder.’
I leaned over it and looked through the lens. ‘It’s really blurry.’
‘Give me your hand,’ he said gently.
I held out my right hand and he took it in his own. His touch sent tingles down my arm.
‘This is the aperture dial,’ he said and moved his thumb over mine. ‘You see the focus changing?’
‘Mmm hmm.’ The photo cleared; it was the seated one from the photo-shoot.
‘Keep moving it until you think it’s right.’ He took a step back and let me adjust it on my own.
‘I think it’s right.’ Seeing the photo from the other side was so fascinating.
‘Now, take this and place it under here,’ he said as he handed a sheet of photo paper to me. ‘It’s called an easel.’
‘This is nerve wracking. I’m worried about what comes next.’
‘I’ll explain as we go along. It’s a lot of steps.’
‘Okay, as long as there’s no surprises or jump scares.’
‘Some of the steps are quick but nothing requires instant action.’
I nodded, feeling ease wash over me as he remained close.
‘Set the timer to ten seconds, here at the bottom, and keep your hands away from the image.’
He helped me set the clock and we watched the numbers countdown all the way to zero before he switched the machine off.
‘Are we done? That’s it?’ I asked.
He laughed until his shoulders shook. ‘Not even close.’
I pouted.
‘Come on, this is probably the fun part. Grab the paper—carefully—and follow me.’
We moved over to where a set of three trays sat on the countertop. He explained each tray, its contents, and the timing of each step. ‘Once it’s done, you can hang it.’
‘Sounds ominous.’
‘Shooting, hanging. It doesn’t sound great.’ He chuckled.
‘You could tell people you have a secret government job. Makes it sound like espionage.’ I lifted the paper and saw the image come to life. ‘I think it’s a little too light,’ I said with a frown.
‘Did you think you would get it right on the first try?’ He took it from my hands and hung it above the table.
‘Yes,’ I replied without hesitation.
We stared at each other for a moment. ‘You can do anything, but this skill requires more than one try.’
I shook my head. ‘If I could do anything, I’d have a boyfriend.’
He gave me an unimpressed look. ‘Really?’
‘What?’
‘You’re impatient.’
‘I don’t even know what I’m meant to be doing, because you won’t tell me.’ I wanted to cross my arms and stomp my foot.
He took a step closer and wrapped an arm around me.
I sucked in my breath.
‘If you listened to me, you’d know.’
‘What?’ My heart raced and I couldn’t think of a single thing he’d ever said to me.
His gaze bore into mine and he tugged on the knot at my back.
‘Be yourself. You overthink when you’re out in public or on an actual date, but when you’re relaxed…’ He slipped the apron from my shoulders and dropped it onto the floor. ‘You have an air about you. It’s alluring. Use it.’
I was transfixed by his gaze. The way it both calmed and unnerved me.
He didn’t break eye contact as he slipped the gloves from my hands, and dropped them beside the fabric.
‘What do you want, Kalina?’
I reached down between us, his hardness pushed against the zipper of his jeans and he sucked in his breath. He said this was a safe space, and he was a safe person to me. I wanted to feel powerful. I wanted control.
‘I want to do what you did to me.’
He shut his eyes as he inhaled sharply. ‘God…’
‘Why not?’
He laughed in response, but when his eyelids flicked open, his gaze was so intense it made me take a step back.
‘Not so fast.’ He reached out, grabbed my hips, and pulled me close.
I felt him against my thigh.
‘I didn’t say no. Tell me exactly what you want to do.’
My face heated at his unnerving confidence. ‘I can’t…’
‘You can. It’s only the two of us here.’
Butterflies erupted in my stomach but I took a deep breath. ‘I want to make you feel good. The way you made me feel.’ I reached for the buckle on his belt. ‘I want to touch you.’
‘Can I do the same?’ He reached out and stroked between my thighs. It was like a fire ignited inside of me and I moaned.
‘No. I won’t be able to focus on you.’
He chuckled. ‘I see no problem.’
I grabbed his wrist to stop his strokes then took a deep breath. ‘I’ve had some bad experiences before. When I’ve gone down on guys.’
He cupped my face and stroked my cheek with his thumb. ‘You don’t have to do this.’
‘I want to. I know it will make you feel good, which will make me feel good.’ I undid the button on his jeans and tugged the zipper down.
His breath quickened, and a low groan sounded in his throat.
‘Tell me how you like it?’
‘I can’t even think straight right now.’ He closed his eyes.
I took a moment to relish in it, seeing him come undone, before I teased his waistband down and pulled along the elastic of his dark briefs. When I grasped him in my hand he sucked in his breath and leaned back against the bench.
‘Good?’ I asked.
‘Amazing,’ he breathed, and he gripped the wooden edge with one hand.
I teased and stroked him with slow movements, and he groaned with pleasure.
I kneeled in front of him.
‘Kalina…’ he breathed. The end of his sentence trickled off as I teased his tip into my mouth.
The sound he made was somewhere between a moan and a whimper, and it sent an exhilarating thrill through me. His reactions encouraged me to continue. I stroked him with one hand and sucked along the length. The combination seemed to drive him wild.
‘Oh fuck, Kalina.’ He twisted his hand around my ponytail and groaned.
The sound sent a jolt down into my core.
‘You’re so good,’ he mumbled.
I continued as he rocked his hips gently, and his fingers massaged my scalp.
‘Wait,’ he breathed.
I pulled back and he reached for me, lifted me off the ground, then set me down on the worktop.
‘What are you—’ My words were cut off as he curled his fingers into the waistband of my pants and underwear and tugged them down in one fluid motion.
‘I want to make you come first.’
‘What if we…’ I wrapped my leg around him and urged him closer. I wanted to feel him.
‘After,’ he promised.
His hand squeezed a path up my thigh until his finger reached the wetness between them. I bit down on my lip to stifle a moan.
‘I love how ready you are.’ He circled his finger.
‘I liked tasting you,’ I whispered and stroked him again.
‘You were so good. I have no complaints.’
I couldn’t hold back my smile.
‘But I kept thinking about feeling you again. Touching you like this.’ He thrust a finger inside.
‘So…good.’ I sighed.
I matched my strokes with his slow rhythm.
Our lips nearly touched, and our breaths came out in hurried pants.
‘You’re getting close.’
‘Yes…’ I sighed and shifted closer. I wanted him, wanted to feel him inside of me.
He quickened his pace then leaned back. ‘I want to watch you come this time.’
‘I want to have sex with you.’
He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and chuckled. This turned into a shuddering groan as I mirrored his movement, circling my thumb over his tip.
‘Kalina,’ he moaned.
‘Yes…’
‘Come with me.’ It took one circle of his thumb to shatter me.
My climax rolled through me like a wave. Slow at first, then building and crashing over and over again.
His orgasm shattered through him, my name on his lips as he came on my thigh.
We caught our breaths in silence with our foreheads touching.
‘Be glad you don’t use a blue light in here,’ I said, breaking through the quiet.
His laughter shook his entire body. ‘My God, you’re funny.’
‘Thank you.’
He brushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear and his gaze darted from my eyes to my lips. His hand curled around my neck and he guided me toward him.
I wanted to kiss him too. Really kiss him.
A loud knock sounded at the door to the darkroom.
‘Titan?’ Scarlet called out.
‘Shit,’ we both cursed under our breaths.
I pushed away from him, nearly falling off the workbench, but he caught me then set me down on the floor.
He did up his jeans. ‘Yeah, be right there.’
My eyes widened with panic.
He shook his head, reached behind me, and grabbed a cloth to clean my thigh. Such a simple move, but it had my core tightening again.
I took it from him and wiped my hand as he walked towards the curtain. I’d never gotten dressed as fast as I did at that moment.
With one last look he pushed the heavy curtain aside and stepped into the little space between the door and fabric.
‘I tried calling, but you weren’t answering your phone.’
‘I left it in the kitchen,’ he said.
‘My friends and I were working on an assignment and I wanted some caffeine, thought you’d like to join me.’
‘Not tonight, I still have some things I want to finish up here.’
‘No problem. Is Kalina with you? I thought I saw her bag…’
I held my breath for a second. It wasn’t like Scarlet would know what we were doing here. ‘Hey, Scar,’ I called out and tried keeping the nervous energy from my voice.
‘Hey, see you at home,’ she replied.
There was some incoherent mumbling on their end before the sound of receding footsteps was followed by the studio door slamming shut.
The curtain rustled and the look on Titan’s face—along with the way he strode toward me in large quick steps—made my stomach flip.
He stopped in front of me, a look of pure determination on his features. ‘Where were we?’
I swallowed hard. I wanted more, my heart raced at the thought of him showing me what else I’d missed. What I could still learn.
Then I panicked.
Maybe this was going too fast?
‘I think I should go. It’s getting quite late.’ My heart raced in my chest.
He nodded. ‘Will I see you tomorrow?’
‘Tomorrow? Yeah.’ My voice went up an octave, but a buffer between us, coupled with some sleep, would help me figure out what was going on inside my head.
I don’t know why he made me so nervous, even after I’d been on my knees in front of him not even twenty minutes ago.
I cleared my throat and straightened my top and waistband. ‘Great. Night, see you tomorrow.’
He closed the space between us and cupped my face like he’d been doing when we were interrupted. ‘You can stop at any point, but I want you to know this was amazing and any guy who told you otherwise was a complete fucker.’
I nodded. ‘Thank you.’
He laughed. ‘Was it good for you?’
I was thankful he couldn’t see the redness in my face. ‘Yes.’
‘Then you don’t have to thank me.’
‘I should go.’ If I stayed any longer, I wouldn’t be able to work through my thoughts.
His brows furrowed. ‘I can take you home.’
I shook my head. ‘No, that’s fine. You’re already home.’
I hurried out of the room and he hovered around me as I grabbed my belongings. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came. I patted his arm because I didn’t know how else to greet him after what happened between us.
The entire evening played out in my head, but the walking and ride on the tube gave me the time to process and compartmentalise my jumbled thoughts.
This was Titan. We were friends, helping each other out.
He knew how to flirt, date, and have a really good time.
And I needed all the help I could get.
This was okay.
I repeated the mantra to myself until I fell asleep.