Chapter 18
Act II, Scene X: La Nova, London
Titan
W hen I’d started this business six years ago, there were days and nights of no sleep, constant stress, and the fear of failing.
This was somehow a thousand times worse.
I hadn’t seen Kalina since the night I went over. It’d been five days.
Five nights of disturbed sleep.
Five nights of torturous dreams. Of holding her. Kissing her. Touching her.
Five nights of manic thoughts that revolved around her all while trying to work on an on location shoot out of town.
This was not what I’d planned.
It wasn’t part of the Agreement.
But I wanted more. More than a piece of paper.
I needed to tell her how I felt, even though I barely understood it myself, and I needed to do it tonight. Before anything else happened between us.
I checked my watch then pulled my phone from my pocket to message her.
Hi, are you still up for going out tonight?
17:35
Hi, yes please. I finally feel human. I’ll be ready by 6.30?
17:35
Perfect
17:36
Where are we going?
17:38
It’s still a surprise
17:38
-_-
17:39
Dress code?
17:39
Always asking the important questions. Dress for comfort
17:39
Always giving the worst answers.
17:40
My cheeks ached from smiling.
This idea came to me last week, and Kalina’s birthday seemed like the perfect opportunity to use it.
My phone rang and the name flashing across my screen surprised me.
‘Hazel?’ I answered. We rarely called one another, and my heart raced. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘Hey. I could ask you the same thing. You’ve been quiet lately.’
Out of all the women I’d met, she was the one who spent our time together analysing me. She said it was an occupational hazard as a psych student.
‘Oh. Yeah, I’m caught up in wedding celebrations. For Ted.’
‘I figured that was it. Well, that and a combination of a certain someone.’
I sat up in my chair. ‘Someone—’
‘The girl I met on the Tube. She’s cute.’ She was smirking; I heard it in her voice.
‘Kalina? We’re friends.’ A straight lie.
There was a pause followed by a sigh. ‘Titan, can I give you some advice?’
‘You’re going to do it whether I say yes or no.’
She laughed. ‘You’re not wrong. But you’re stubborn and also a man.’
‘Oh…kay?’
‘There’s more than friendship there.’
I exhaled. ‘I’d like it to be.’
‘Oh my God. I knew it,’ she shrieked into the receiver, and I had to pull my phone away from my ear.
‘Calm down, she doesn’t know it yet.’
‘Oh, my sweet sweet boy.’ Something tinkled on the other end. Her earrings maybe? She was chastising me with a shake of her head. ‘That girl is smitten with you.’
My heart wanted to go for it, but my head said calm down.
‘I’ll have to see what happens.’ I inhaled. It was what I needed to hear and the last person I expected it from.
‘So, this isn’t a meetup call?’ I asked.
‘Let’s be real—you needed them more than I did. I had a lot of fun, but you wanted the…connection with no strings attached. Do you remember what you told me?’
‘Something really profound,’ I said.
‘You wish. No, you said that you wanted the physical side of things because it was easier. That without the feelings, it was like a business deal.’
‘I still stand by it.’
‘Do you? I saw you that night and something tells me you want to be exclusive. You only had eyes for her and now can have both. Why not go for it?’
‘When did you get so wise?’ I teased.
She laughed. ‘Hey, I was always filled with this knowledge. You were never ready to receive it.’
‘Thanks, Hazel.’
‘So…are you going to tell her?’
‘I was planning to.’ I couldn’t help the smile that played on my lips. It felt good to say it to someone out loud. I toyed with the small black velvet bag on my desk.
‘Oh, I’m so excited. She’s a lucky girl.’ It wasn’t a statement laced with resentment or jealousy. It was one with genuine happiness.
‘Let me tell her before you get too excited.’
‘Trust me. It’s going to be fine.’
‘You seem awfully happy for someone who won’t be benefiting from my company in the future.’
She let out a full belly laugh. ‘Please, did you think you were the only one seeing more than one person? I have a rotating roster too. Professionally and unprofessionally.’
I had to laugh too. ‘You were always my favourite.’
‘You too.’
We said our goodbyes then hung up.
My decision felt right.
I grabbed my things, placed the little bag in my pocket and rushed out the door.
I waited outside the dark blue door for a full minute before knocking.
Kalina yanked it open and stood on the threshold looking like a ray of sunshine.
She was dressed in a pale-yellow dress and dark yellow cardigan. Her hair fell loosely around her shoulders, and a white bow peeked out from the back of her head.
She was absolutely beautiful.
Her phone was wedged between her ear and shoulder and she waved her hand to usher me inside.
‘Yes, papa, I got the gift. Thank you.’ She held up two fingers and I nodded.
‘I’ll see you at the wedding. Yes, love you.’ She hung up and took a breath before looking up from her screen. ‘Sorry, hi.’
‘Hi. Are you ready or do you need some time?’
‘I’m ready.’ She held her arms out to her sides and did a twirl. The bottom half of her dress was sheer layers of mesh that flared out when she spun and revealed the matching short shorts underneath. ‘Is this fine for your mystery adventure?’
‘Perfect.’ I bit down on my lip to stop myself from kissing her right there.
‘Great, I had no second option.’ She picked her small sling bag off the side table. ‘Wait, one more thing.’
In a blur of yellow, she ran down the passage and returned with a container in her hand. ‘For you.’
‘It’s your birthday.’ I shook my head in disbelief.
‘Yes, and I love giving gifts too.’
I took it from her outstretched hand and inside lay four perfect bite sized cinnamon rolls.
‘You’re amazing.’
‘Thank you.’ She lifted the edges of her dress as she did a little curtsy. ‘We can eat on the way?’
‘Sure.’ I shut the door behind us.
‘Are we walking?’
‘For a little bit.’
‘I knew it.’ She lifted her foot up in front of us, emphasising the white sneakers she was wearing. ‘I was thinking cute on top and running away from a felony on the bottom.’
I let out a laugh that radiated through my entire body. She peeled away at my nerves until there was nothing but pure adoration left.
She reached over and took one of the little buns from the container and lifted it up towards my lips.
My gaze remained on hers as I slipped the cinnamon roll into my mouth. ‘Delicious.’
She dropped her gaze but even in the dim streetlights, I could see the flush on her cheeks. It was the reaction I needed to push me forward with my decision.
We walked for a while, up the street and along the winding pavement into the next.
‘Is everything okay?’ she asked.
‘Yes.’ I couldn’t tell her I’d been rehearsing all the ways to tell her how I feel. ‘It’s been a long day. But, I’m happy to be here with you.’
‘I’m happy to be here too.’ She looked up at me. ‘Even if this is the part where you murder me.’
A laugh shook through me. ‘You’re really intent on me murdering you.’
‘You have the means and motive.’
We got to the Tube and Kalina studied the Northern Line route as we waited.
‘Is it food?’ she asked.
I took another cinnamon roll and popped it into my mouth. ‘There is food, if that’s your indirect way of asking if we’re eating.’
‘But is it the main activity?’
‘No.’
‘Mmm…’ She continued looking at the map.
The train arrived at our stop, and the wheels in her head were still turning.
‘Is it something I’ve done before?’
I shook my head. ‘Not as far as I know.’
‘You’re really bad at these games.’
‘You are impatient.’
My phone buzzed and I wanted to ignore it, to focus on being here with Kalina. But curiosity won in the end.
I read the body of the email.
‘Interesting.’
‘What?’ Kalina turned to me.
‘Look,’ I said, holding my phone out.
Her gaze darted across the screen.
‘Mae’s inviting you to the launch of her new jewellery line?’ Kalina’s eyes widened.
‘Yeah?’ I looked at the screen again.
‘Exciting. Do you think it’s like an informal interview type thing?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe all the candidates are invited?
‘I think she wants to sus you out. How cool.’
‘Terrifying is more like it.’
‘Oh, come on. You get to meet her before the actual interview? This is great. You can figure her out. Maybe even flirt a little.’ She wiggled her eyebrows at me.
‘I don’t think that’s her style.’
‘Let’s brainstorm tonight and figure out your approach.’
‘The sexiest plans I’ve ever heard.’
‘You’re helping me, it’s only fair if I help you too.’ Her gaze softened and she placed a comforting hand on my arm.
‘Thank you.’
‘Now, open the attachment.’ She moved forward and her scent enveloped my senses.
‘Here, let me.’ She took my phone, scrolled down, and clicked on the attachment.
‘Okay so blah blah blah, welcome and stuff. Thursday the twenty-first, which is a week from now and before any wedding events.’
‘You’d make an amazing personal assistant.’
‘You couldn’t afford me.’ Her face bent low, but I caught the glimpse of a half-moon in her right cheek. ‘The Hall of Origins at the Obsidian Tower. Super fancy, some more details about parking and stuff. Very boring.’
‘Lovely summary.’
‘I know, right? It says the dress code is black tie and you can bring a plus one. How thoughtful. Are you going to take Scarlet?’
Our gazes met. ‘I’d like to take you, actually.’
‘Oh.’ Her eyes dropped to the screen again.
‘You don’t have to feel obligated.’
A moment went by where she didn’t say anything and her head remained bowed over the phone. I wanted to read her expressions, to know what was going on inside her head.
‘No, I want to. This is so important to you. Thank you for including me.’
‘But?’
She looked up at me. ‘What am I going to wear?’
I chuckled. ‘Of course that’s what you’re thinking about. You definitely have something hidden away you can wear.’
‘Of course I do, I’m not an animal. But it has to be perfect.’
‘We can go through all your options then decide. If you want to buy something else, you can let me know.’
‘A shopping montage?’ she squealed.
‘A what?’
‘We really need to watch more romance movies. Actually, speaking of…who won the bet? You were gone when I woke up and I don’t know if it’s memories from watching the movie way too many times, or if I actually made it to the end.’
I gave her my best winning grin. ‘You barely made it past the halfway mark.’
‘Dammit.’
‘Maybe next time.’ My tone was filled with a promise I hoped she understood. I wanted more nights like those.
‘Why didn’t you cash in on your prize tonight then?’
We were at our stop and I pocketed my phone. ‘I like keeping things exciting.’
She groaned. ‘The anticipation will kill me.’
‘You’re the one who reminded me.’
‘You would’ve brought it up eventually.’
I shrugged. ‘True.’
I read the names of the streets, recalling the address of the venue, when a nondescript building lay ahead. Nothing about the exterior gave way to what was inside.
‘Um…this is starting to feel like a murder scene.’
‘Do you trust me?’ I asked. It was a question I’d asked her many times before.
She swallowed. ‘Yes.’
I wrapped my arm around her and we pushed through the doors. ‘I would never put you in a dangerous situation.’
We entered a foyer, which was clean, but sparse. An archway led down a long, dark passage with light at the end.
‘Wow, Dadi will not be pleased to find my body here.’ Kalina said, nearly inaudibly.
‘I promise nothing bad will happen to you.’
She pushed her body against mine, and I had no complaints.
As we got closer to the end of the passage, there was a din of chatter and soft music.
We took in the sights ahead as we stepped into the archway. A warehouse with large windows all around, blue fibre optic shapes hung from the ceiling, and uplighting in a multitude of colours shone on the exposed brick walls.
It created an underwater atmosphere—as if it were made by aliens—and all around were people milling about, talking to one another, and dancing as they wore glowing headphones. The colours ranged from red, to blue, and green.
‘What is this?’ Kalina looked up in awe.
A woman walked over to us. ‘Hi, welcome to La Nova. Do you have tickets or are you purchasing from us?’
‘I have them,’ I said and scrolled through my phone until I got to the confirmation email.
She scanned the code. ‘Thank you, I’ll be right back.’
Once she walked away, I looked over at Kalina. ‘Surprise, silent disco.’
‘Wow.’ Her gaze was transfixed on the ceiling and the gently swaying light structures.
The woman returned with two pairs of headphones. ‘These are the dials for the channels, there are three DJs, so three options. The volume is on the right. If you need anything you can come over here,’ she gestured to the table in the far-left corner. ‘And one of us can assist. Have fun.’
I took them and placed one on Kalina’s head.
‘Good?’ I lifted my thumb.
She nodded.
I placed mine on and the sounds around us dulled to a faint ambient noise. I took her hand in mine and led her through the clusters of people. She entwined our fingers, sending a euphoric rush through my chest.
When I turned to check on her, she was fidgeting with the dial on the left. Every time she twisted it, the lights on the headphones changed. She settled on the blue.
‘What?’ she mouthed at me then smiled.
I shook my head. ‘Nothing.’
She pointed to her ear then gave me a thumbs up.
I twisted until I found the blue channel; an electric pop song started playing and I adjusted the volume.
Kalina nodded excitedly and shrugged off her cardigan.
I tipped my head to the empty bench beside the window and she deposited it there. I stripped off my jacket and sweater and followed suit.
Her dress highlighted every single part of her body I’d come to enjoy. From the straps on her shoulders that crossed in the back, to the way the neckline dipped low, and the mesh panels along her waist giving me a peek underneath. I wanted to peel it off her body and touch, kiss, and taste every single part of her skin.
Kalina pointed to the middle of the room, interrupting my inappropriate thoughts, as she took my hand in hers, and led me through the crowded space. She lifted our arms above her head and spun underneath our linked hands. Her amber eyes and dimpled cheeks were all it took to break me.
Her joy was infectious, and she smiled at me before she closed her eyes and let the music move her. She coaxed me into finally joining and between touching her and giving in to the music, I lost track of the songs. It was the two of us, beneath the blue hued light, and no one to interrupt us.
I reached up to cup her face, but her hand went straight to her headphones as she lifted one end.
I mirrored her movement.
‘I need something to drink.’ She leaned close.
Her scent was intoxicating. I wanted to bury my face in her neck and hear her sighs.
‘Let’s go.’
We dropped the headphones around our necks and walked outside.
The veranda was strung with fairy lights and a long bar with awning sat at the furthest end.
‘This is so fun. Thank you.’
‘Are you done?’ I quirked an eyebrow at her.
She shook her head furiously. ‘Not even close.’
‘Good.’
‘I’m having a great time.’
‘Before I forget.’ I reached into my pocket for the small black velvet bag.
Her eyes widened. ‘You didn’t have to. You’re already taking me out.’
‘I wanted to. Happy birthday.’ I held out the bag.
‘What is it?’ she asked rhetorically as she peered inside before pouring the contents into her palm. A silver spiralled ring fell out. The metal beads shifted as she inspected it.
Her eyes widened with recognition.
‘Oh my God. I love it. Thank you.’ She threw her arms around my neck, and leapt off the ground in the process.
I laughed as she landed straight into my chest, and nearly knocked the wind from me. ‘You’re welcome.’
She hadn’t seen the little card inside; a message on one side and a morse code decoder on the other, but her excitement was enough for me.
She didn’t move, and I didn’t want to let go. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her in place.
She fit so perfectly in that space, her sweet scent right below my face, and warmth seeping through my T-shirt.
After a few minutes, she sank down to the ground and pulled away to look up at me. It was only then I realised she had tears in her eyes.
‘What’s wrong?’ I cupped her face.
‘I really appreciate it.’
‘You’re so easy to please.’ I swiped at her cheeks.
She slipped the ring on her index finger, using her thumb to spin the beads. ‘It’s perfect.’
‘You have such beautiful hands,’ I said. I brushed my thumb over the side of her fingers, where she’d often chew the skin until it was raw. ‘Thought it would help.’
She glowed under the fairy lights. Her eyes shone golden, and her lips were pink and full.
Everything about her drew me in.
I wanted to tell her and opened my mouth, but she let out a frustrated groan.
She used the back of her hands to swipe at her face. ‘Gosh, I’m such a mess. Let me freshen up.’
‘Of course. I’ll get the drinks.’
She held onto the bag and I took it from her hand, stashing it in my pocket. She’d get to see it later.
Watching her walk away left a knot in my stomach. It had to be now, if I waited any longer, then it would only get harder. I pulled out my phone to check my notifications when a call came through and I accidentally swiped the answer button instead of rejecting it.
‘I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me.’ My father’s voice made my blood run cold.
I lifted the phone to my ear. ‘Karl.’
‘You sound busy.’
‘I am,’ I ground out.
‘We didn’t end off on the best terms the last time we spoke.’
‘Is this your way of saying sorry?’ That would be a first.
He laughed. ‘I guess yes, I want to work on things between us. Scarlet won’t talk to me. I figured it had something to do with you.’
I exhaled, long and hard. ‘She’s a grown woman. I can’t make her do anything more than you can.’
‘I think we need to get together and have some quality family time.’
The thought made my head throb.
‘Sure,’ I agreed. I wanted this conversation to end and Kalina was walking towards me. ‘We can. I need to go.’
‘Of course,’ he said, then chuckled. ‘I didn’t expect you to be home. Enjoy yourself, don’t settle.’
My chest heated and the words left my mouth before I’d even had a chance to think about them. ‘I’m actually seeing someone.’
‘Oh? What’s she like?’
‘Not your type,’ I bit out.
‘Sounds too good for you then,’ my father said with a laugh. ‘As much as you try, you’re every bit like your old man.’ He sounded proud.
‘I’m not like you.’
‘Screwing with women? We’re more alike than you think. Send Scarlet my love.’
He hung up.
Fucking hell.
Now, the excitement was gone and replaced with a gnawing feeling in my gut.
I didn’t want to ruin the night for Kalina, so I plastered a smile on my face and ordered our drinks.
‘Thank you,’ she said, taking the bottle from my hand and lifting it to her lips.
Her neck was exposed and highlighted by the lights above us. There was no part of her I didn’t want to explore right now. But it would be out of frustration and anger and not for the right reasons.
Further proving my father’s point.
We stepped up to the railing and I set my bottle down on the ledge below us.
She put her headphones on, unaware of the thoughts currently circulating in my head.
‘Oh, this is a good song. Wanna go back inside?’ she yelled.
I laughed. ‘Sure.’
I needed to switch my thoughts off.
I could tell Kalina tomorrow night at the dinner Savi and Ted were hosting.
Tonight was about her, celebrating this occasion, and forgetting what Karl had said.
The latter being really difficult to do, but I focused instead on the way Kalina let the music work through her. Like it was part of her.
By the end of the night, she was still dancing and twirling along the pavement, all the way up the street to her house.
She walked up the three small steps and paused in front of the door. In a flash, she spun around and leaned down to hug me.
‘Thank you. Tonight was fun.’
‘You’re welcome.’
When she pulled away, her gaze lingered on mine then dipped down my face.
I’d wanted this.
I’d been thinking about kissing her all night, but now, Karl’s words hung in the air above me.
We’re more alike than you think.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow?’ I said, instead of kissing her, instead of touching her, instead of telling her everything. It could wait. Tonight needed to end on a good note.
I wanted her to remember this night for what it was.
She let go of my shoulders then nodded.
‘Night.’
‘Goodnight, Titan.’
I strode toward my bike, before I could change my mind. Before I pulled away, I turned around one last time and she stood on the threshold, twirling the beads on her finger.