Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter
twenty-one
“ASK YOUR THIEF OF A mother what she did with my grandma’s surfboard,” Max said, waving his hand at my phone. “That’s what you should say.”
“I’m obviously not going to say that,” I said. It was the following day. Theo and I had just finished an evening workout at his house because his mom had hosted a brunch that morning and didn’t want us there working out. We now sat on the boardwalk behind the diner, waiting for Deja, who was closing up inside. “I actually want her help.”
“I thought it was good,” Theo said.
Max gave him a high five. It was just the three of us. Lee was at some family dinner.
A pelican was trying to land on the rounded top of a post at the edge of the boardwalk, its feet slipping and its wings flapping with each failure. The sun sat atop Morro Rock, about to sinkbehindit.
I should’ve answered Alice back the day before, but I didn’t want to sound accusatory, and every message I’d composed and erased over the last twenty-four hours had sounded exactly that. Maybe not as bad as Max’s suggestion, but still.
I pursed my lips and said, “How about just I heard your mom was a surfer. So was my grandma. I’m looking for a board they might have shared ?”
“That’s good,” Max said.
“It is,” Theo agreed. “She might actually be willing to respond to a message like that.”
I typed in the words and pressed send. My back was leaned up against the railing running along the edge of the wooden walk that separated the restaurants from the bay. I could see Deja sweeping through the windows of the Purple Starfish.
Max must’ve seen her as well because he said, “I’m going to hurry her along.”
“You just want to score leftovers,” I said as he walked toward the door.
“Is that a possibility?” Theo asked, ready to follow him.
“I’ll report back,” Max said, and pushed the heavy side dooropen.
Theo watched him go, then settled onto the ground beside me, his shoulder bumping mine.
“I watched some videos this morning of you kicking a football,” I said. I’d been to all the football games earlier this year even though Jensen rode the bench. But the truth was, I hardly watched the games. I mostly talked to my friends. Or we’d buy food or make fun of the uniforms. I’d only gone to support Jensen. And I’d never seen Theo kick a ball before finding the videos that morning.
His head turned toward me. “What? Why?”
“I used to watch tape all the time for soccer to improve my form and identify mistakes. You never did that?”
“Of course I did. I just…Where did you find tape of me? You asked Coach?”
“No way. I found some online. People post football games to YouTube all the time. I just had to dig through the footage to find you.” And I had found him. I’d even found some clips where the poster had zoomed in nice and tight on his kick. His form was beautiful—smooth and strong and almost graceful. “You looked…”
Our legs were stretched out in front of us, my right running alongside his left. He was still in his shorts from our workout, and my eyes studied his scar. It seemed so innocent there, like it wasn’t big enough or dark enough to represent what it had taken fromhim.
“I looked what?” he asked, his hand brushing over his knee.
I captured his hand in mine to stop his mindless habit. Or maybe to let him know that I hadn’t meant to stare. “You looked beautiful.” My throat felt tight with the word.
“Are you mocking me?” he asked, squeezing my hand. His lips twitched into a smirk.
“No, I’m not. I promise. I want to kick like that.” I started to pull my hand away, but he held on, bringing it over to his lap and running a finger along each of my knuckles. A shiver went throughme.
“I want to kick like that again too,” he said, his voice low.
Despite the fact that his finger was gliding over my skin, causing goose bumps to form over every inch of me, I wasn’t sure if he was feeling anything. He seemed to be lost in his thoughts, absent-mindedly moving his body.
“You don’t think you will?” I asked.
“Do you know what happens when you’re an only child? All your parents’ unfulfilled potential rests on your shoulders, and even when it’s something you want for yourself, you feel triple the pressure to achieve it.”
“That’s hard,” I said.
His shoulder was getting heavier against mine. I looked over at him, and his eyes locked with mine.
I was very aware that my hair was greasy, and my skin sticky from our workout. I gently took my hand from him and shifted sideways, tucking my legs beneath me and looking out at the water. It was choppy and a dark blue with the setting sun. A dinner-cruise boat was slowly moving in the distance.
“Is it an otter?” Theo asked, bringing my gaze sharply back tohim.
“What?” I asked.
“An otter,” he said again, not looking at the water at all, instead, his eyes still on me. Had he listened to the podcast? Was he referencing the words my grandma had said to avoid a kiss? And did that mean he had been about to kiss me and I had stopped it with my sideways shift away from him? My stomach fluttered with that thought.
“I thought it looked more like a sea lion,” I said back.
He gave a breathy laugh. “That was a really good episode. I can see why it has so many views.”
He had been referencing the podcast, then. But was it just that? A reference? And what did I want it to be? I felt like anything, even a kiss, with Theo was complicated. There was too much baggage surrounding us. Too many people would think we had ulterior motives. Even my best friend didn’t support it, saw the complications, thought he wasn’t right for me. And maybe I still didn’t fully trust him either.
“Yeah, um…thanks. My grandma is pretty cool.” I was facing Theo, my legs crossed in front of me and my elbows resting on my knees. He still sat with his back against the railing and his legs stretched out in front of him.
“Hopefully Alice gets back to you soon,” he said. Again, his finger found my skin. This time gliding over my kneecap. But this time, instead of seeming to be in another world, his eyes didn’t leave mine.
I swallowed. “Yeah, hopefully.” My voice sounded breathy.
“When’s your next interview with your grandma?”
I trapped his finger in my fist, mainly so he’d stop causing jolts of electricity to shoot up my leg, but also because despite everything I’d said about how complicated we were, I wanted to touch him too. “I can’t really plan them. It just depends on if she’s up to it or not. Some days are better than others.”
“I hope you get to it soon,” he said. “I need the kiss.” His smirk was back. The little punk knew exactly what he was doing.
I dropped his finger and playfully shoved his shoulder.
He chuckled. “What?”
“You know what,” I said with a laugh.
“ That’s your real laugh,” he said.
“What?”
“Why do you fake laugh on your podcast?”
“For the general good of the listeners,” I said. “To save theirears.”
“Your real laugh is better,” he said.
I reached out to shove his shoulder again, and he captured my wrist, tugging me forward in the process. I caught myself on his knee, and he sucked in some air. I immediately recoiled. “I’m sosorry.”
“No, it’s okay.”
“I didn’t mean to.” My eyes zeroed in on his leg, my hands hovering above his scar, as if I could feel from an inch away if I had somehow caused an injury. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”
“I’m fine. It was just reflex. You didn’t hurt me.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Finley,” he said, and I raised my gaze to his. “I’m not that fragile.”
“You’re fine?”
“I’m fine. And it wasn’t your fault. I’m the one that pulled you closer.”
My heart beat heavily in my ears. My hands, no longer hovering over his knee, had instead come to rest on it. We were close. His eyes were bouncing from my eyes to my lips, which suddenly felt dry. I sucked my bottom one into my mouth.
“Good news!” Max’s voice broke through the silence, and my body practically flung itself into the ocean, startled by the words. “There were leftovers, and I have decided to share them.”
Theo pushed himself off the ground and joined Max on the bench, where he’d set a basket of fries and a couple burgers. “You are a saint.”
“Have never been called that before, but I’ll take it.”
Deja emerged from the side door looking harried. “I wish I could hang, but I’m going to play soccer.”
“Play soccer?” I asked.
“Some of us are getting together to stay conditioned for summer league.”
“Oh.”
“You wrote Alice back, right?” she asked.
“Yes, I did.”
“Good,” she said with a smile. “I hope we find the board. I can’t wait to see it.”
“Me too.”
She gave a double-handed wave and disappeared down the walk.
Max took another bite of burger, then stood. “I didn’t realize she wasn’t going to hang with us. This third wheel is leaving now.”
“You’re not a third wheel,” I said. “We’re just—”
“Friends?” Max said. “Yeah, yeah. I know. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”
He left, and Theo picked up the rest of the remaining burger and came to sit on the ground next to me again. He handed me the food.
I took a bite without arguing this time. I was pretty hungry after our workout.
“Deja hates me,” he said.
I practically choked on the bite I’d just taken, but managed to chew and swallow without incident. “ Hate is a strong word.”
“So I’m not wrong,” he returned.
“She doesn’t know you. Doesn’t trust you.”
He narrowed his eyes and then gave a slow nod.
“What?” I asked.
“You haven’t been talking about me with your friends. Telling them…anything.”
“No, I have…” Hadn’t I? In my haste to prove him wrong, I blurted out, “I told them we hugged for a long time on the first day of spring!”
His brows popped up.
That was the wrong thing to say. “I mean, just because I was trying to…I was embar— I didn’t want you to…See, I talked about you,” I finished in an unspectacular fashion.
“So based on what they now know, they think I’m the cocky jerk who hugs you?”
I smiled. “Yes.”
He shook his head but gave a breathy laugh. “Great.”
“They know you’re helping me. That’s gone a long way with Max and Lee.”
“But not with Deja.”
“She’s wary. Doesn’t understand why you’d want to helpme.”
“She doesn’t…or you don’t?” His question was accompanied by a hurt expression.
I hesitated before I said, “Her?”
“Ouch,” he said.
“I have trust issues. Big ones. I’m sorry. I’m really trying to work through them. I want to work through them. I like you. I mean, not like…It’s not that…As a friend.”
“I’m helping you because I like to right wrongs,” he said. “And Jensen has racked up a lot of wrongs.”
“Do you go around righting all the wrongs at school or just this one?”
“Just this one…for now.”