42. Bridget
42
brIDGET
K nuckles rapped against the cottage door. The poker club had arrived a few minutes ago, and the shock was palpable. The giddy high I’d been riding all day hadn’t faded in the least. If anything, it was ten times as strong.
I spritzed my hair with a little more spray to stave off the curl-wrecking humidity, then hustled to the door.
Jason stumbled inside the second I opened it. “Bumbs?—”
“Hi,” I said nervously, wringing my hands. “Before you start with the lecture, first off, we’re already legally married. And second?—”
Jase threw his arms around me, squeezing tight as he pulled me into his chest. “Bee, I’m so damn proud of you,” he rasped. “And I love you.”
Tears flooded my eyes. “Really?”
“Really.”
I wiped away the fat tears that were rolling down my cheeks. Thank God I didn’t wear makeup anymore. I’d look like a hot mess .
“Then you’ll walk me down the aisle?”
He chuckled into my shoulder. “I’d kill anyone else who tried.” He gently rubbed my back, soothing me the way he had when we were kids. “I’m happy for you, Bee. You deserve happiness.”
I took a step back and smoothed down my hair. I wanted to look good. It was my wedding day, after all.
He took my wrist and turned my hand so he could see the engagement ring. Chase had picked out a sparkling marquis diamond on a gold band. “Can’t believe you didn’t tell me you got engaged…” He grinned. “ Again .”
“I think the surprise was worth it this time. Besides, Maddie had her baby the night he proposed. It would have been an asshole move to upstage her. And you’ve been so busy getting the flight instruction program off the ground.”
“A text message,” he said with a laugh. “That’s all I need. Just a text. A simple heads up, I’m getting married . It’ll take, like, three seconds.”
I elbowed him in the gut. “Well, this is my last engagement. I’m officially done with weddings.”
“Fucking glad to hear it.” Jase offered a watery grin and softened his tone. “You look beautiful.” He looked down at his own outfit—a pair of cargo shorts, an old Naval Aviation t-shirt, and a pair of worn flip-flops. “I can drive back to the house and change real quick.”
I touched his arm. “No. This is perfect. I didn’t want anyone dressing up. I don’t want anything fancy.”
He walked to the window and crooked a finger in the curtain, drawing it back. “You sure this is what you want? Getting married with just our motley crew on poker night?”
He was staring at the set-up, but all I saw was the man in a light blue button-up.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I wouldn’t want it any other way. ”
“I’m proud of you.” He looked down at the floor. “I probably don’t tell you enough, but I am. I’m so damn proud of the woman you’ve become. Of how strong you are. I’m proud of you for going after what you really want. I know things haven’t been easy on y’all, but I’m proud of you for fighting for it.”
“He makes it easy to want to fight for him,” I admitted.
At least three times a day, the notion hit me that I didn’t deserve Chase. That I was the least deserving person on the planet. But he was quick to remind me that love doesn’t have a damn thing to do with what you’ve done to earn it. It has everything to do with how you give it to others.
I would love him over and over again until my dying breath.
I slid my hand into the pocket of my skirt and felt the smooth metal of his wedding band against my fingertips.
There was weight to it. It wasn’t a flimsy, bubble-gum machine ring. Though, I really loved when he proposed with those. The weight was symbolic. It wasn’t cheap. It wasn’t meant to be used, then thrown away.
His ring, like our marriage, was substantial. It was something to be guarded and protected because of how much we both valued it.
It was a mile marker, showing us how far we had come and how far we had left to go.
“I’m sorry mom and dad aren’t here to see this,” he said solemnly. It was rare that Jase spoke of our parents. They hadn’t been the greatest people, and often I gave them more grace than he did. It surprised me to hear him say that.
“What do you mean?”
“To see how well we did. That we made it. I don’t miss them. I miss what they should have been.”
I leaned my head against his shoulder. “Me too. ”
Jason peered out the window again. “You expecting anyone else?”
“Just the poker club and the Brannans.”
“Looks like everyone’s here. You ready to get this show on the road?”
I pulled my bouquet out of the vase I’d been storing it in all day while Jase stuck his head out the door and hollered for everyone to sit down.
Chase had gotten up early this morning and picked a bundle of tulips from the flower beds. They were lovingly tied with a simple white ribbon. We had a courthouse ceremony to get the legalities out of the way, but he still insisted I have a bouquet to hold.
“You ready, Bumble Bee?” Jason asked as he stood by the door. “Hannah Jane’s gonna open it up when everyone’s settled.”
I laughed to myself. I should have known that, even for a surprise wedding, HJ would hop into bride-wrangler mode. I loved her for it.
I let out a nervous breath and nodded as I shifted the tulips to lay in the crook of my arm. “Ready.”
The door opened, and Jason stepped out first. He turned, offered his arm, and waited for me to join him. Cool grass crinkled under my bare feet as I exited the cottage.
“Oh my—” I couldn’t get the words out.
Chase was standing under the pergola he had built for me during some of my darkest days. The tulips he’d planted to make me feel his love lined the way to him. Steve was standing a step behind him, smiling.
Hannah Jane closed the cottage door and gave my hand a squeeze.
Every hurt, every ache, every dark day, and every longing moment had led to this point in time .
I felt my soul return to Chase’s— our —house. To the stairs where I’d been too scared to walk for fear of falling.
But I had fallen, and it was the best kind of falling. Chase had been there to catch me.
So I took the first step.
I made it all the way down the aisle without crying. It was a damn miracle, because the tears in Chase’s eyes could be seen from space.
Jason walked me through the path to the front of the crowd where Steve and Chase were waiting. He kissed my cheek and gave me a hug before hugging Chase.
Melissa snuck up behind me and took my bouquet. I had done the same for her when I was her maid-of-honor a few months ago. Before she had a chance to slip away, I grabbed her wrist.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “For everything.”
Her lip quivered. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat. You were my sister long before you were my sister-in-law. I love you.”
“You saved me,” I whispered as we hugged. “Please know that. You both did.”
Mel wiped her eyes and gave me a watery smile. “Time for your happily ever after.”
She disappeared to her seat as I turned to face my husband. “Hi.”
“Hi yourself.” He grinned.
Chase looked good enough to eat. His lucky dress shirt was cuffed at the elbows, and the top button was undone. His jeans were casual, but they were my favorite pair. The way they hugged his ass and thighs should have been criminal. His hair was neatly trimmed, buzzed short on the sides, and a little messy on top. He had skipped shaving this morning and left the dark shadow on his square jaw.
I didn’t know what to say, so I showed off the pockets on my skirt like a damn fool. It was the same one I had bought months ago on a girls’ trip to Target.
Chase silenced my rambling with a kiss. I positively melted at his touch.
Steve chided us for skipping to the end, but I didn’t care.
Everything around us faded. There could have been a million people watching or three. I didn’t know. All I saw was Chase.
My rock, my guardian angel, and the love of my life.
Chase released one of my hands and unfolded a piece of paper. As he read sweet declarations of love, every fear, every feeling of inadequacy vaporized.
I was loved, and that in itself was enough.
I was enough.
Steve looked at me and gave a slight tip of his chin when Chase was finished.
I pulled my vows out of the pocket of my skirt, suddenly worried that I wouldn’t be able to read my own writing.
Nervously, I licked my lips and took a trembling breath. “You and I don’t have the best track record at weddings,” I began. “You see, not quite a year ago, there was this wedding we were both at. You were a groomsman, and I was a bridesmaid. I spent all day worried about how much time I spent with you. How many words I said to you. You had a date, and so did I.”
A tear ran down my cheek and splashed on my page, smearing the ink. Another fell in its wake. I folded the paper and tucked it back in my pocket before taking Chase’s hands.
“There was a moment somewhere between the first dance and the cake cutting that I realized I didn’t know if I would ever see you again. I was planning to leave a man who had belittled and abused me. I knew that if I could steal a moment to say seven words to you, I would have some peace.”
I sucked in a breath as I watched the heavy bob of his throat .
“I don’t know if it was the universe, fate, or meddling friends who trained like Olympians to make sure I caught the bouquet, but you and I got to share a dance. That night I looked you in the eye and said, “I love you. Don’t ever doubt it.” And then I ran. Because I couldn’t bear for you to see me. To really see me. Someone who was broken and hurting, but loved you anyway. Loved you even though I shouldn’t have. I didn’t give you a chance to respond.”
I let go of his hand long enough to wipe my eyes.
“A few weeks later, I woke up in a hospital room and had no idea where I was or what happened. But you were there, and you responded. And every day since, you’ve responded.”
Reaching into my pockets, I pulled out two handfuls of hair bands, elastics, bread ties, straw wrappers, and string.
“This is how many times you proposed to me. Two hundred and forty-nine times. Two hundred and fifty if you count the engagement ring you bought long before we ever held hands or kissed. And I’m here today, in front of our family, because I said yes two hundred and fifty times. And however many times you ask me after today, I will always say yes. I will always choose you.”
Tears streaked down his cheeks, but they weren’t sad. They were hopeful.
“One of the nights that you sat in this exact spot with me, you told me that gardens bring the promise of something better tomorrow. And then you planted me a garden. For a long time, I’ve been waiting on tomorrow. But it’s here. Every day with you is my tomorrow.”
Steve dabbed his eyes with the shoulder of his Beaufort PD shirt. “Fuckin’ pollen,” he muttered.
“All I have is seven words.” The handfuls of junk drawer proposals scattered on the grass like confetti as I squeezed Chase’s hands. “I love you. Don’t ever doubt it. ”
Steve took a steadying breath. “Y’all got rings?”
I grinned as I pulled Chase’s ring out of my pocket while he did the same. I slid his on first, working the gold band over his thick knuckle.
Chase took my hand and slid the much thinner ring onto my left hand. He paused right before nestling it beside my engagement band.
“You’re mine, Bridget Brannan. You’re mine to support and to cheer on. You’re mine to pleasure. To provide for. To love.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “You are not mine to control. You are not mine to dictate. You’re mine to love. To stand beside. To stand behind. To carry. To fight for. You are my partner, my equal, and the love of my life. Don’t ever doubt it.” He fitted the band beside my engagement ring, punctuating his proclamation and rendering me absolutely speechless.
“Well, since y’all already did the damn thing in front of the judge this morning, you don’t need my permission or authority.” Steve clapped Chase on the back before slipping off to the side. “Love you, Bee. Kiss your girl, Brannan.”
Chase grinned like a fool as he cupped my cheeks. “Come here, darlin’.”
His lips met mine like stars colliding. The poker club exploded in a deafening cheer. Time stood still as I wrapped my arms around his neck and melted into his arms. The earth ceased to spin, and the universe rained down around us. That kiss was our anthem. A proclamation of love. Of patience. Of strength. Of perseverance.
Bodies crashed around us, enveloping us in a massive group hug. But all I saw was him.
If I could go back in time and skip the hard parts, I would. But wishing for a time machine would be a waste of the bountiful life in front of me .
Life is beautiful and hard and wild and messy.
And worth it.
Every moment is worth it.