26. Zane
Zane
I get home from work that night and find the house empty.
That’s strange. I thought things were slowing down for Bliss. I thought she’d be back by now.
I walk through every room in the house and then walk down and check the barn to see if she’s out there, feeding the dogs, but she’s nowhere to be found. I try calling her, but the phone goes straight to voicemail.
Now I’m starting to get worried.
I call Charlie first. Maybe she’s over there for a girls’ night again.
“Hello?” she answers.
“Hey, Charlie. I was just wondering if Bliss was with you,” I say.
“No, she’s not. Are you guys fighting again by any chance?”
“I messed up,” I tell her truthfully.
“No surprises there. What did you do this time?”
She’s becoming more like Max every day.
“I was a coward.”
“Oh, that’s almost worse than saying something mean. Not quite, but almost.”
“I know,” I reply. “I was trying to find her to apologize. But she’s still not home.”
“Are you done being a coward? Because you probably shouldn’t try to make it better until you’re ready to tell her your feelings.”
“Well, I’m trying to open up about some things …”
“Things?” Charlie snorts.
“Yeah. Fine. You’re right. I’m trying to open up about my feelings.”
“Wow. So romantic. You are a coward.”
“Thank you. Is Max there? I think I’d rather talk to him right now.”
Charlie laughs. “No, you’re stuck with me. And a good thing, too, because I’m giving you solid advice about how to have a happy marriage. Tell Bliss that you love her and that you were being stupid!”
“But I can’t find my wife to tell her.”
“Well, I happen to know she canceled on dinner with Magnolia and me tomorrow. She said she was turning off her phone tonight.”
“She turned her phone off? On purpose?” I shout.
“Hey, don’t get mad at me. I’m just the messenger,” she fires back.
“Right. Sorry. This is bad. She doesn’t just leave like this. She’s been so good at letting me know if she’s working outside of cell service.”
“I would try her parents’ house. Maybe she’s over there and just planning on spending the night.”
“Good idea. Thanks, Charlie.”
“Good luck, and you’d better make things right because I really like Bliss, and I know she really likes you.”
“She told me she loves me this morning,” I say quietly.
“And what did you say?”
I clear my throat, all of a sudden wondering if the guys’ advice wasn’t all that great. “I kissed her hair?” The explanation ends in a question.
Charlie groans. “And you didn’t say it back, did you? Zane, how could you?”
I don’t have any words to defend myself, because it was a bad decision, and I should’ve realized that I loved her the day we got married.
Instead, I’ve been a dumbass, trying to pretend like we could have some weird friendship and noncommittal relationship, where we lived together for all our lives.
I’ve still been holding back a big part of my heart, and that’s not fair to Bliss, who made the first move and has been open with me.
She definitely deserves better than me, but I’m going to at least try to be the best version of myself for her.
“Thanks again, Charlie. I’ve got a big mess to fix.”
I hang up the phone, climb into my truck, and drive over to the Flying J Ranch. I walk up the porch steps and knock on the door. The door swings open, and Bliss’s grandpa scowls at me.
“What do you want here?” he demands.
“I was looking for Bliss.”
“Not here.”
He slams the door, and I hear the lock click in place after a couple of tries. It’s probably rusty from lack of use.
I knock again a few minutes later, and Betsy comes to the door. She doesn’t have her usual smile on her face.
“What do you want?” she snaps.
This is not good. If they’re all mad at me, then Bliss is definitely mad at me. And she probably told them the truth of our circumstances, which is exactly what I deserve.
“Where is Bliss?” I ask, because I know they know.
“Why did you marry my daughter?” Betsy asks, ignoring my question.
“I married her because I love her.”
“That’s not what she told me this afternoon.” Betsy slams the door.
I’m left standing on the porch, staring at the cracks in the old door. Bliss must be upstairs in her room; it’s the only explanation for them keeping me out of the house.
I sit down on the bench and make a phone call. “Hey, Charlie. I have something I need you to do.”
“All sorts of favors lately,” she hums. “When do you need it?”
“I need it done by tonight or tomorrow morning.”
“Time sensitive … You have me curious.”
I spend the next few minutes explaining the project, and she agrees to it.
“Do you think you can get it done?” I ask her.
“Yeah, I might need some help, but I’m sure Nash and Magnolia would help.”
“Thank you. I owe you big time,” I say.
I’m so glad Charlie moved to town. She’s become a good, reliable friend.
“Don’t worry, I’ll write you a bill.”
I chuckle as I hang up the phone. She’s a friend I have to pay.
I sleep all night on the Jeffersons’ porch.
My back hurts in places I didn’t even know I had.
The wooden bench on the deck isn’t exactly spacious.
I should have slept in my truck, or gone home for that matter, but I’m here to prove a point.
I want to see my wife. I want to tell her how much I love her.
Just as the first rays of sunlight are beaming into the yard, Betsy walks out onto the porch. The screen door rattles closed behind her. “You’re still here.”
“I’m worried about Bliss,” I tell her quietly.
“Only just worried about her?” she asks sternly, planting her hands on her hips.
I stand up, my knees and back cracking as I do. I face her fully as I reply, “I love Bliss. And I’m worried that I’ve hurt her. So, yes, I’m worried about her. I want to talk to her.”
“You love her?” Betsy folds her arms across her chest.
“Yes, I love her.”
“Because you haven’t told her that.”
“I know. I need to. That’s going to be the first thing I tell her when I see her,” I admit.
“Maybe the first words should be an apology, and then those can be your second words,” Betsy suggests.
“Fair enough. Is she upstairs?”
“No.” Betsy sinks down onto the bench I just vacated.
“You’ll have to go find her in Boise before she gets on a plane.
She’s taking some time to think. But if I were you, I’d hurry and tell her you love her before she has enough time to realize she could do far better than you.
” There’s a twinkle in her eye as she says it.
“Thank you.” I hurry down the steps toward my truck. “Where’s she staying?”
“I’ll send you a text with the information,” she calls as she waves me off.
Now I just have to hope that my mother-in-law is actually being helpful and not sending me off on a wild goose chase.
I’ve got a long drive ahead of me.