Chapter Thirteen
Ruby
When I get home, there are no lights on in the condo. I don’t even bother going through our gate, instead veering toward Josh’s and marching across his patio to his sliding glass door, which I open to stick my head in and holler. “Sami!”
“Rubes?” she calls from the front room.
I let myself in and find her on the living room sofa, her head propped up by pillows and her feet across Josh’s lap. He’s resting his laptop on her legs. It’s adorable.
“It’s pretty early to be done with your date,” Sami says, a cautious note in her voice.
“Hope you know how to take out restraining orders, Josh, because you’re going to need one soon.” I throw myself into an armchair.
“Am I in trouble?” Josh asks.
“Not for you. For your woman, also known as my clueless bestie.”
“Why is that?” Sami asks.
“Mike was wearing a Pixie Luna shirt,” I say.
“Smart,” Sami says. “Easier to identify him.”
“And a Pixie Luna hat.”
Sami nods. “Yeah. He’s cool like that. Supportive. He saw our earliest shows.”
Josh looks like he’s trying to identify an odd smell, his face a cross between confusion and annoyance.
“Very supportive,” I agree. “Do you like his new tattoo? I’m sure he’ll show it to you next time you do a show at his work. It’s a picture of the band logo and the words ‘collateral damage’ under it.”
Sami’s mouth hangs open.
“You’re kidding,” Josh says.
“Nope. Charlie and Sydney watched me drive out of the parking lot to make sure Mike didn’t try to follow me home to show it to Sami himself.”
Sami makes a yikes face. “I’m not used to the idea of fans. I mean, thank you for liking my lyrics, but a tattoo?”
“I hope it’s just fandom, but we bowled one game, and he spent all of it trying to find out more about you. And he wants to be a roadie on your tour.” I shudder and point to Josh. “Brush up on restraining orders.”
He shakes his head. “No grounds for one. But I’ll pay Mike a visit at work to discuss boundaries.”
“Take Joey with you,” I say, “and go back with Marcus if it seems like he’s not getting it.” Marcus is my cop brother. Josh nods.
“I promise to make sure the next guy I set you up with has never heard of Pixie Luna,” Sami promises.
“So, someone who lives under a rock?” Josh asks, and Sami blows him a kiss.
“You lost setting-up privileges.” I scowl at Sami.
“What, no! How do I get them back?”
“You can’t.”
“Josh, can you put ‘thrift with Ruby on her next day off’ on my calendar?” Sami says.
“He had a tattoo with your lyrics, you pink pixie,” I say.
“Add a note that it’s my treat,” Sami continues.
I nestle down in the chair. “Keep going.”
“And draw up a contract where I promise not to borrow any of the stuff I buy her,” Sami says.
“No take backs.” This evening is looking up. “Privileges restored.”
“How was Charlie’s date?” Sami asks. “What’s her name? Sydney?”
Sami’s reasonable question feels jangly. I yawn, hoping oxygen will settle my brain.
“That good?” Sami asks.
“Sorry, I was yawning for real.” I reposition myself in the chair, looking for a comfortable way to sprawl. “They moved their date to a second location, so that’s a good sign.”
There’s a knock at the front door and Madison pops her head in. “Hey, y’all. Ruby’s here too, Octavius,” she says over her shoulder. She walks in, Oliver right behind her. She learned his middle name during their wedding last summer, and she uses it whenever she loses one of their arguments.
“I didn’t win,” Sami says as Madison and Oliver settle into the love seat.
“She didn’t win by so much that she had to bribe her way back into the competition,” I say.
“This is the tea I’m here for.” Madison snuggles into Oliver’s side. “Tell me.”
“Sami accidentally set up Ruby with her first stalker,” Josh says.
“Ruby does make a great first impression,” Oliver says.
I snort. “Josh means I went on a date with Sami’s first stalker.”
Oliver nods. “That makes more sense.”
“I’ll catch y’all up on that part later,” Sami says. “Ruby was about to tell us about Charlie’s date.”
“The library patron,” Oliver says. “Cindy? Charlie was stoked to go out with her.”
“Sydney,” I correct, ignoring a prickle of irritation. Josh gets stoked. Joey gets stoked. Stoked is a dumb way to describe Charlie about doing anything except rock climbing.
“They’re still out,” Sami reports. “We’re getting the details on the bowling part.”
“They looked like they were having a good time,” I say.
“Like how?” Madison asks. “What was the body language? Could you hear what they were talking about?”
“She found reasons to touch him. Leaning into him, congratulating him if his ball didn’t go in the gutter.
Couldn’t hear them much. The music was loud.
” This is how we’ve always debriefed first dates with each other.
I could give them more details, but I’m annoyed.
Why are we talking about Charlie? This is supposed to be about my date.
“Did Charlie reciprocate?” Sami asks. “Sending signals, being touchy and stuff?”
I remember how many times I saw their heads close together, smiling and talking. “He looked like he was listening to her a lot and they seemed to have a thousand inside jokes.” Which is also annoying.
“But he didn’t have his hands all over her?” Madison asks.
“Ew,” I say before I can filter myself. “Charlie’s not like that.”
This statement meets with dead silence. Everyone in the room exchanges looks with at least one other person except me.
“What?” I demand. “He’s not.”
“He’s like that with you,” Josh says.
“You’re constantly in his lap, or going piggyback somewhere,” Madison says.
“Or wrestling in the pool or he’s tousling your hair,” Sami adds.
Oliver throws in his two cents. “You do that thing where you drag him around by the belt loop when you want him to follow you somewhere.”
“But that’s. . . us,” I say. “We’ve always been like that.”
“Kind of?” Sami says. “More since Niles.”
Are they trying to imply something here? “Yeah, because it would have been disrespectful to Niles to sit on another guy’s lap.”
Oliver shrugs. “It’s just Charlie.”
I blink at him. “It wouldn’t bother you if Madison sat in Josh’s lap?”
“I doubt it,” Oliver says, “but let’s not find out.”
But Sami wiggles over to settle herself in Josh’s lap in case Madison gets any ideas.
Josh barely snatches his laptop out of the way, then sets it on the end table and draws Sami against his chest. “Are you saying it means something if you sit in Charlie’s lap, so that’s why you didn’t do it while you were dating Niles? ” he asks.
“No, but it might have meant something to Niles.” I cock my head. “Is this a lawyer trap?”
Josh shakes his head. “Making deductions. For example, Charlie is a physical touch kind of guy with people he’s comfortable with. We’ve all seen it, so maybe it’s a bad sign that you didn’t see that between him and Sydney.”
They’re all staring at me like they’re waiting for something, but I have no idea what.
Madison sighs and surveys everyone else. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
They all nod.
If they’re about to tell me that there’s more to me and Char—
“You have to coach him,” Madison says. She gets three nods.
“Huh?” I need to do what, now?
“Like you made Joey do with Ava. If you think Charlie and Sydney are a good fit, coach him about how to flirt more. Sounds like he was being his usual attentive, present self, but he’s like that with everyone.”
I wave off the suggestion. “He’s doing fine. Still on his date, remember?”
“Maybe,” Sami says. “But if I were Sydney, he’d probably get one more date before I decided he wasn’t that into me. You gotta coach him.”
“This is ridiculous.” When did this suddenly become my job? “I’m not coaching Charlie. He does fine on his own.”
“Okay,” Sami says. “No big deal. Just seemed like you wanted them to hit it off.”
“I’m still hoping,” Madison agrees. “We want Charlie to have his own cutie too. Maybe after we get Ruby settled, we can make Charlie our next project. What do you think, Sami?”
Josh is already shaking his head, but Sami is nodding, and even Oliver looks thoughtful.
This is getting out of hand. “Charlie’s a big boy. He can handle himself. Can we talk about me now? Like who I’m going out with next? And also, let me remind you that I don’t have to go on any more dates this week.”
“Ava has a plan,” Sami says. “I’m not sure when it’s happening, but I think soon.”
“She better hurry,” Madison says. “I’ve got an eye on a guy at Oliver’s office.”
“Rashad,” he supplies. “Developer. Good dude. But Madison has to suggest it so it doesn’t feel like his boss is pressuring him.”
“Just his boss’s wife,” I say.
“Ex-wife and current fiancée,” Madison corrects. “I’m busy with school and the boutique, but yeah, I’ll make it over soon.”
“If you want to drop by for lunch, you can talk to Rashad, then study in my office,” Oliver suggests.
“Oh, but really we’d be making out?” Madison says, turning to kiss his jaw.
“Now that you mention it . . .” Oliver brushes his nose against her cheek.
“As if that wasn’t your plan all along,” I accuse him.
He stands and pulls Madison to her feet. “Now that you mention it, why wait?”
Madison gives us a saucy wink as he leads her out, still holding her hand. “Bye, friends. I have sudden plans.”
I wrinkle my nose in the direction of the shut door.
“No complaining,” Sami says. “That’s exactly what you were hoping for when you moved them around like chess pieces.”
“Chess pieces on a board of love. And it worked.” I nod in the direction of the door.
“Which is exactly why we’re all returning the favor,” Sami says.
“Tonight did not feel like a favor.”
“I swear I meant it to be. We got you, Roo. We’re going to find you a good guy. True love. I can feel it.”
“Fine.” I escape the clutches of Josh’s far-too-comfy chair and head for the door, where I pause and turn to look at them both. “But focus on me, and leave Charlie alone. He’s my job.”
I swear I see Sami smirking as I close the door.