Chapter Twenty-Two
Ruby
When I get home from work Tuesday, I stop and look at my besties waiting for me on the sofa.
“I’m having deja vu. The bad kind,” I say. “Oh, wait, that’s PTSD.”
“It’s all love,” Sami says. “Madison told us about you and Charlie.”
“How can we help?” Ava asks.
I drop my bag beside my favorite armchair and take a seat. “It feels wrong to talk about it. Like I’m putting Charlie’s business out there.”
“Understood,” Sami says, putting a hand over Madison’s mouth when she starts to protest. “Besides talking about it, would anything help?”
“Don’t know,” I say, wishing hard that I did. Two things strike me. The first is that I’m very lucky to have friends like these. But the second . . . “How come none of you are trying to talk me into liking Charlie? I thought he was your favorite.”
“He is our favorite,” Sami says. “And maybe we started a group text with him to check on him.”
“That’s good. But how come none of you tried to make him one of my dates?”
There’s silence.
My jaw drops. “Y’all don’t want me to date Charlie.”
Ava rubs at a spot on her pajama pants. Sami bites a nail. Madison studies her own nails like she’s considering biting them, then sets her hand in her lap because she’s not about to ruin her expensive manicure.
“Why not?” I demand. “Everyone keeps saying we act like we’re already dating anyway. What’s the issue?”
Ava gets up and comes around to stand behind my chair, where she leans down and wraps her arms around me. “Honey, you sound like a lunatic.”
I swat at her. “Joey has done a good job of turning you into a hugger, so well done to you, Ava, but get off of me. Saying it sweetly doesn’t mean you get to be rude.”
Ava only squeezes harder. “Not rude. Scientific observation.”
“Go away,” I say, but I reach up to hug her back.
“Push and pull,” Sami mutters, and she has that look in her eye. The songwriting look. “Push and pull, you say up is down, but I didn’t ask for a party clown.”
Madison pats Sami’s arm. “Maybe not your best?”
“Also rude,” I tell her. “I’m not a clown.”
But she’s already pulled out her phone, and we all know she’s tapping it into her notes to work on later.
“Somebody talk,” I order. “Why don’t any of you want me to date Charlie?”
Madison sighs. “He’s our favorite too. We figured a breakup would be messy, and it is.”
Ava returns to the sofa with a nod. “Basically.”
“Why would you assume we would break up? And more importantly, this isn’t a break up. This is . . . a rough patch.”
“You know what we mean,” Madison says. “It’s not not a breakup, either, and—”
“It’s not a breakup!”
“—we want custody of both of you, so it’s awkward,” she continues like I didn’t interrupt. “But we’ll figure out how to deal with it.”
“I thought you were all here to support me,” I protest.
“That’s what I meant.” But her face doesn’t mean it, so I throw a pillow at it.
“The point is,” Ava says, “you’re sad and it makes us unhappy, and we want to know how to help.”
“That.” Sami snaps and points at Ava without looking up from her phone then goes back to mumbling. “Don’t need a clown because I wear a crown, but as gesture I’ll make you court jester . . .”
We all look at each other, and Madison grimaces. We all decide to leave it alone. Sami would never let that make it off her phone.
I burrow into the armchair. “I need to be distracted. That’s the main thing. Take me back as your third wheel. Invite me to everything all the time.”
Ava says, “You need a hobby. It’s bad when you have too much free time.”
Sami looks up. “So bad. Rearrange-everyone-else’s-lives bad.”
“World-domination bad,” Madison adds.
“Dramatic much?” I ask.
“NO,” they all say.
I’ve never had an impromptu choir performance hurt my feelings so much.
“We better keep going with the dating bet,” Madison says, turning to the other two. “That’ll keep her busy.”
I grunt. The whole idea has lost the minor appeal it ever had.
“You just want to win,” Sami says.
“No, Madi has a point.” Ava enters the debate about me to which I’m not invited. “It’s one of the easiest ways to keep her busy, and if we find her the right guy, that’s a great distraction.”
“But also, I want to win,” Madison says.
Sami gives a satisfied, “Ha.”
“We’ll keep going with the dates,” Ava says.
I raise my hand. “Aren’t you going to ask me what I want?”
“We did, and now we’re giving you distractions,” she retorts. “More dates plus a hobby. Want to learn to cross-stitch? I was thinking about making Niles a Celtic curse for his wedding.”
I laugh at that. “He doesn’t need cursing. And I do want to learn cross-stitch but not right now.”
“Mrs. Lipsky could teach you diamond painting,” Madison says.
“Or I could teach you guitar,” Sami offers.
“Can I interest you in accounting-based valuation?” Madison asks. “You could be my study buddy.”
I smile. “That’s the most interesting option, to be honest. But I think it’s time for me to enter my sourdough era.”
They all cheer, and I smile even bigger. They’re crazy, and I’m crazy lucky to have them.