Chapter Twenty-Nine
Charlie
I had to pitch Ruby to other people as a date. I survived.
Ruby had to pitch me to other people to date. She thrived.
The whole time I listened to her last-minute brilliance, to her easy banter, I wanted to say, “But if you see all that about me, why isn’t it enough?”
Ruby pitched me so effectively that I’ve already had seven different women reach out via my DMs since last night, three of whom I should be falling all over myself to ask out and thank them for their charity.
They are gorgeous and funny, and I’d been impressed with all three of them when their friends pitched them.
I reply to each of them with the same message. Sorry, probably shouldn’t have agreed to be pitched. Not trying to date right now. It’s me, not you, but thank you for making me smile by connecting.
I got one thumbs-up emoji and one responded by liking my message. But the third woman responded with a single-word question.
Ruby?
I had only a single word reply. Unfortunately.
But we’d survived it. I’d shown up for Ruby as a friend after spending a few weeks trying to figure out how I would do that without eroding my own well-being.
I did it by reminding myself that being there last night was about supporting Ruby.
I hung onto that notion like a Texas running back with the ball and the SEC championship depending on my touchdown.
I’m surviving this morning by reminding myself that anything that happens as a result of last night is none of my business. If my imagination tries to conjure an image of any of the dudes last night contacting Ruby, I shove it right back out with the Heisman maneuver.
Begone, intrusive thought, before you flatten me like the civilian normie that I am.
I can’t be a fake friend to Ruby. I can’t act like her dates are interesting and I want to hear all about them.
Not that she’s asking me to. But I’ve tried in the past, and now I’m dumping “support Ruby’s love life” off my plate.
Now that I can be honest that I don’t want to know anything about her dating life, her girls can be her friends for that.
I can be a friend for the rest of it. Be there to cheer for her, help her, remind her she’s incredible if she forgets. I’ve been really good at it for three years.
Maybe it should have been obvious that the best way forward was just to be us, but maybe we needed weeks of not being us for us to see it. Or for me to see it. But I do now.
So that’s it. There’s the new plan. Be us.
Time to inform the other half of the plan.
In the spirit of honest conversation . . .
Okay . . .
Let’s be friends but
I pause, considering how I want to frame this.
BUT WHAT YOU BUTT
But I need to pay monthly dues now???
But only on odd days?
Calm down, small human
RAGE
That’s not friendly
CHARLIE
But no thanks to any info ever about your love life
I am a Ruby Ramos Love Life flat earther now
Can’t hear any words spoken about your love life
New and helpful medical condition btw
Hearing will be perfect for anything else
I decided not to have a love life
So this is easy
Sorry, couldn’t hear you
I’ve given up on a love life
Can’t hear you
No love life
Something’s wrong with my phone
Charlie
Ruby
Your terms are easy
Great to hear
I smile at the texts. We’ll be okay.
Ruby must believe it too because she texts me the next day.
It’s Saturday
It’s Saturday here too
You working?
Sami’s playing where Mike works
Want to go
J/J/O all plan to stare Mike down the whole night
Watch killer live band/Tired
Stare at creepy sound guy/WIRED
Meet there?
Yeah
Pixie Luna is killing it. Mike pretends he doesn’t see us or Josh, Joey, and Oliver keeping tabs on him, but he also makes a point of not staring at Sami as she tears up the stage in her combat boots, prairie skirt, and shiny red leather corset.
Katie and Sydney came too. Sydney had texted me a heads-up that Katie invited her, which I have no problem with.
If Ruby had a problem with, it would have to be between Ruby and Katie, not me.
But when Katie and Sydney found us in the crowd, Ruby wagged her finger at Sydney, Sydney gave her an unrepentant shrug, and Ruby grinned and gave her a smacking kiss on the cheek.
The band is mid-set, the crowd pulsing with the driving bass, feeding off Sami’s Lady Mantha energy as her eyes snap and flash behind her mask.
Ruby jumps with the beat; Madison feeds off it, dancing; and Sydney surprises me by being more Ruby-style, jumping and singing along.
Ava, Katie, and I all stand around them like the shy periphery kids at every high school party, cool enough to be there but not cool enough to dance when everyone’s watching or nerdy and free enough to dance like no one’s watching.
When the guitarist, Jules, hits the opening chords for “Dumb Boy,” the energy in the crowd kicks up a notch. It’s about a sixty percent female audience, and this song has become an anthem for a lot of girls.
Sami finishes the song to raucous cheers. Ruby grins at me, sweat-plastered strands of hair sticking to her forehead, her red going-out lipstick bright, her eyes brighter.
I’ve had days over the last month apart from her where loving her felt like the worst thing because she makes it so easy to do, and I have no power to undo it.
But I catch her contagious joy and smile back, accepting that loving her for the rest of my life is my reality.
There was never going to be another way.
“Thank you, girls and boys!” Sami calls into the mic. “Based on how many of you know all the words to that one, seems like we have a house full of true fans tonight!”
The crowd roars a deafening confirmation. It’s a sold-out show, but considering the venue capacity is only five hundred people, they’re making an impressive amount of noise.
“We love you too! I’m thinking a way to show you is by trying out a new song we’ve been working on.” Sami glances at the rest of the band as the crowd calls for more. “What do you think, boys?”
Her drummer, Rodney, answers by banging out a rhythm while her guitarist Jules smiles and strums a chord.
“They said yes, y’all,” Sami says to the crowd which responds predictably. “We’re going to slow it down a bit. It doesn’t even have an official title yet, but we’ve been calling it ‘Long Time Coming’ at practice.”
Jules moves into the melody, and I like it. It has a longing vibe instead of Sami’s usual done-me-wrong one. I dig that vibe too because their music is so good. But this grabs my ears in a different way.
And then it stabs me right in the heart as Sami comes in with the lyrics.
“Maybe I don’t want to only be just the friend you see in me.”
Wait.
“Can you look past how it’s always been to take a risk and let me in?”
Uhhhh . . .
“Every time you look my way, I’m full of words I want to say,” Sami sings. “Would you listen if I asked you to? Want from me what I want from you?”
Sami . . .
She hits the chorus with peak-Gwen Stefani syncopation. “Confession. Admission. It comes with a condition.”
What’s the condition, Sami?
“Things are going to change but it’s a long time coming!” The last three words are each a punch that makes the crowd roar.
When Sami gets to the second chorus, I know what to expect this time. Hundreds of fists punch the air as the crowd sing-yells, “Long. Time. Coming.”
I don’t look at Ruby. I can imagine a few possible expressions on her face, one of them probably murderous and aimed in Sami’s direction.
Sami finishes, the crowd cheers their approval of the song, and there’s no question this one will push them to a new level when they release it.
How do I feel about having my heart laid out for strangers to feast on its meat?
Haven’t I done it a thousand times myself when I took other songs as my story because that’s what good songs are? So specific they’re universal?
Glad to be of service, Sami. I don’t know if I should demand song-writing royalties or thank her for putting that refrain in Ruby’s head. Long. Time. Coming.
The band is already moving into another hit, “I’m Not Your Prom Queen,” a song Joey would—and has—called a banger. I melt out of the crowd when Sami hits the chorus, the crowd screaming the lyrics along with her, and head for my car.
I’m okay with the new song, but I feel bad for anyone who sees themselves in my part. I also want zero conversations about this with Ruby.
I’m going home before she tries to have one.