Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
Ruby
Charlie is kissing me.
Charlie. Is. Kissing. Me.
I have only that coherent thought, and then no thoughts at all.
My stomach gives a wild swoop, and I reach up to anchor myself, holding him to me with a hand tangled through his hair while the world spins.
This is a grown-folk kiss, a never-do-this-in-the-library kiss, the kind of kiss that gets Madison and Oliver booted from the condo when they forget themselves.
This is hungry and delicious. I gasp, barely able to handle my new biological superpower: I can detect bitter, sour, salt, sweet, umami . . . and Charlie, a taste unlike anything else.
When he starts to pull away, I panic at being cut off from it, holding him in place until he gives me more instead of withdrawing.
Sensations overload my nerve endings and synapses; it’s too much to make sense of, but I need more, and I back him against the bookcase like I can somehow merge all our molecules to get the fullest dose of him.
He makes a ragged demand of “more.” His nose brushes against my cheek, his lips exploring. Yes. This. All of this. More.
I arch to offer access to my neck.
Charlie.
I’d begun to suspect . . . I’d meant to tell him . . .
Charlie.
I’ll tell him, I need to tell him . . .
“So this is why you broke up with me.”
A voice cuts through the haze like a foghorn, and I whirl around to face him.
“Niles?” My brain is not switching gears. He may as well have spoken through a mouthful of bean mush.
“Don’t try to deny it.” Niles’s face is grim.
It’s like being woken up from the best dream ever by a fly buzzing around you, only it’s loud and sulky. So I say, “Buzz off.”
“We’re in the middle of something,” Charlie says.
Tally takes Niles’s arm. “Babe, come on.”
Niles folds his arms, causing his fiancée’s hand to slide off, and glowers at us. “Seems like the only thing you should be in the middle of is an apology to me.”
At that, Tally turns and walks off. Niles doesn’t even watch her go.
I don’t want my victory lap, I don’t want to convince Niles I never cheated on him, I don’t want to torture him by letting him believe I did. I want him to go away, so I can go back to this thing with Charlie that is blowing my mind, but also . . . not?
This isn’t a feeling of things flying apart. This is a feeling of pieces falling into place.
“You don’t have anything to say for yourself?” Niles’s mouth, which I notice is tight and sort of prissy, tries to sneer but fails.
I don’t need to say anything to him. I only need him to leave so I can say some things to Charlie. I can’t be bothered with explaining that to my ex, and I don’t hide my frustration as I turn toward Charlie. “Charlie, let’s . . .”
But Charlie jerks like I struck him, his eyes dark, and I trail off. Without a word, he walks down the aisle of books, hurrying like he’s trying to make a train.
“Charlie,” I call. I know he hears me, but he doesn’t break his stride.
“Where’s your boss?” Niles demands. “She needs to know you two are hooking up at work.”
“It’s volunteer. Shut up, Niles.” I don’t spare him a glance as I go after Charlie.
“It’s a bad look,” Niles says behind me.
I shoot him an irritated glance. “I never cheated on you. I dumped you because you’re boring and clueless. Now get lost.”
Charlie is nearly at the main exit, and I pick up speed like I’m late for an even more important train than he is.
I reach the exit in time to catch the door that hasn’t had time to close all the way behind him.
A flash of yellow catches my eye, and I spot Tally standing in the corner, her arm across her midriff and gripping her opposite elbow like she’s holding herself together. Our eyes meet and she drops hers.
I don’t bother stopping. If she can’t figure out from what she just witnessed that she deserves better than Niles, I won’t change anything by telling her the obvious.
“Charlie!” I yell when my feet hit the parking lot asphalt.
He doesn’t stop, but he does slow to a normal pace as he nears his car. He pulls open his door before he turns to look at me as I stop a few feet away, breathing hard from doing the dash in stilettos.
His car door is between us, and he rests his arm across the top of it. “Don’t worry, Ruby. It’s fine. We’re fine. Tell Sandy I’m sorry I had to bug out early. Stomach.”
“We should talk.”
He shakes his head. “We shouldn’t.”
“But that was big, and . . .” Charlie isn’t the kind of person who needs stuff explained to him, especially not this. I don’t insult him by finishing the thought.
“I don’t need any clarity, Ruby. Go wrap up in there.”
“I need clarity,” I say.
Charlie gives a pained sigh and rubs his hand over his face. “You just summed up our problem in three words.”
“So now we talk about it.” It’s a plea. “That was amazing. It deserves . . . a debrief.”
Charlie closes his eyes for a moment like he’s in pain. “Happy to help.” He opens them to meet mine, and his are still dark. “You can thank me by not forcing me into a play-by-play review.”
“That’s not what I meant,” I say. “Niles isn’t—”
“Ruby,” Charlie snaps.
I take a step back.
“I need to go.”
He gets in and closes the door, pulling out almost as soon as the engine catches.
I stand there for a stunned minute before I walk back to the library. What just happened? And I mean all of it, from the second he suggested the kiss.
What. Just. Happened?