Chapter 6 #2
“I have to go home and get my daughter, so whatever you have in mind is out of the question.”
“No, that’s exactly what’s on my mind.”
My phone rang, briefly removing my attention from the woman who was turning this cat and mouse game into an Olympic sport. I didn’t mind jumping through hoops to show Jameela she was worth it. I was actually excited about showing her how far I would and could go to put a smile on her face.
Money had never just been a source of comfort for me. More than anything, it was a means of control. I liked being able to control the things around me. There were times when I felt out of control. That was the reason that I worked so hard to be able to control my own fate.
Money meant real options instead of having the illusion of options. It meant no one got to tell you when you could eat. Uncle D had drilled that into my head long before the business went legit.
“Never let a man starve you into obedience, young bull,” he’d said a million times. “Make your own way so you will never have to beg. La taj’al ahadan yujī‘uka hattā tukhdi.” Never let anyone make you hungry enough to submit.
Those words were heavy on my mind as I stood in the service bay of my partner’s dealership, listening to him explain to Jameela how she needed a tune up as well as fuel injectors and a fuel pump.
Suddenly, she squared her shoulders and walked away. She was on her phone before I could stop her. I hesitated, noticing the tightness in her jaw as she white knuckled the phone. I wanted to rush over and snatch it out of her hand, but I didn’t step in immediately.
I needed to let her do this. I needed to let her try one more time to ask something of a man who had already decided not to help her without getting something in return.
I needed to let him fail her again so I could pick her up and show her that she never had to beg another man for anything else in life.
Although I didn’t intend to stop her, I moved closer without really thinking about it.
“It’s not even about me, Tremaine. You know I can’t even work right now. It’s not like I have a choice.”
She stopped talking for a second before her shoulders sagged. “I know you’re busy, Tremaine. This isn’t . . . fine,” she said.
The way her voice broke crushed me. When she turned to walk back over to the service bay, I didn’t try to pretend that I didn’t hear her conversation.
“You good, habibti?” I asked.
She rolled her eyes before forcing a smile. “I will be.”
It was a blatant lie. I hated that some people adapted to disappointment by pretending not to need anyone.
I hated that there were probably so many times when no one showed up for her that she thought she had to do it all alone.
I didn’t mind talking, but I needed to actually show her what I was about.
“Come with me,” I said, motioning with my head.
“Where are you taking me now? I really need to go get my daughter.”
“I’m not asking you, Jameela. Just walk to the front with me. I promised to take care of it for you. Let me do that.”
She hesitated but didn’t put up much more of a fight before following me onto the showroom floor.
The smell of leather and greedy salesmen turned my stomach as we walked deeper into the room.
She stopped walking before I did. The gentle tug of me holding on to her hand stopped me in my tracks.
For a second, her eyes skirted around the room then landed on the sign in front of us.
“Nicholas, don’t try to get me a rental car. It’s not like I have anywhere to go.”
I looked back, turning to face her before I replied. “Jameela, at some point in your life, someone made you feel like you were asking for too much when all you needed was the bare minimum. Taking care of you and making sure you don’t want for anything is my bare minimum.”
“How may I help you guys?” A salesman walked over, interrupting our exchange. I was grateful because that was all the explaining that I planned to do.
“I want the black-on-black Infinity QX80. Make sure it’s fully loaded.”
“Right away, Mr. King,” he said before scurrying away to fill my order.
Either I was crazy or Jameela’s hand went stone cold inside mine. Surprisingly, she didn’t snatch away.
“Wh-what are you doing, Nicholas?”
“Making sure my lady and her little one have a reliable way to get around.”
“I told you it’s not necessary for you to waste your money on a rental. I’m good with bumming rides for a few weeks.”
“I’m not getting a rental, Jameela. I’m buying you a car. You heard Gerald. It’s only a matter of time before there’s something else wrong with your car. I don’t need that kind of stress on you, knowing that I can do something to prevent it.”
“What are you talking about? I can’t let you buy me a car, Nicholas. There’s no telling how much you’ve already spent on me and my friends.”
“I’m not worried about the money, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
She caught me off guard when she tightened her grip on my hand and snatched me through the open doors of somebody’s office and slammed it behind her.
“In my experience, the only men who say they don’t care about money are the ones who are into illegal shit.
I tried to ignore your comment last night when you were smoking on the balcony of the hotel, but now you’re just willing to buy a car on a whim.
Are you a drug dealer or something, Nicholas? I can’t have that around my daughter.”
I burst out laughing at her question. It wasn’t just the way she asked the question. The look on Jameela’s face was priceless.
I sighed. “Habibti.”
“Just tell me, Nicholas. It’s not like I would be surprised. You’re throwing around money like confetti. My college boyfriend was just like that. I know the signs.”
“Jameela, I’m not a ‘drug dealer’,” I said, using air quotes.
“That’s not funny, Nicholas. You were so vague and elusive when I asked what you do for a living, I have no choice but to think the worst when you’re tossing around money like it’s nothing.”
“I work hard and play even harder, on the rare occasion that I get the chance to unwind.”
“That’s not answering my question, Nicholas. You said something about gambling. Is that what it is? Are you like a card shark or something?”
“Why can’t I just be an honest hardworking man?” I asked her.
“Because in my experience, honest hardworking men are few and far in between.”
“Well, consider me not only a good investor but an honest hardworking man.”
“I’m not doing this,” she said, shaking her head as she attempted to push past me.
I grabbed her shoulders, making her stand in front of me. “OK, I own Cashville, Jameela!”
“What?”
It was like the color drained out of her face when I said it.
The very reason I didn’t like telling people that I was one of the owners of the hotel and casino was because of reactions like this.
It was like I was telling them that I ran the mob.
There was a lot of morally gray and even black business going on behind the scenes, but no one knew exactly what the business entailed.
A certain level of wealth tended to repel some people and attract others. I liked to control the flow of both interests. I didn’t want to hide anything from Jameela though. I’d meant what I said when I mentioned wanting to know her and have her in my life beyond a one-night stand.
“Not just me. I own it with three other people.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me that?”
“Because I wanted to prolong having to see that look on your face.”
“Either way, you’re not buying me a car, Nicholas. I don’t care what you own.”
“The sales manager is probably already collecting the commission for the sale.”
She reached out and grabbed my arm. When I looked at her, she was stretching her eyes in a way that was probably menacing to her daughter but looked adorable to me. It was cute that she thought it would work though.
“I’m serious, Nicholas. I can’t let you do that.”
“You said it yourself. You need a safe way to travel with your daughter. You need help with that, so I’m helping you.”
“I barely wanted to let you help get my old car fixed. I definitely can’t let you buy me a whole new one. I know you feel sorry for me. Yes, I need help, but that doesn’t mean it’s on you to help me.”
“No, but it does mean that I won’t lose any sleep wondering if you’re stuck somewhere on the side of the road. It’s too dangerous out there for a mother and child to be stranded.”
She pouted, folding her arms across her chest as the fire returned to her eyes. Oddly, I’d missed her fiery side. “I can handle myself, Nicholas.”
“I’m sure you can, and I don’t feel sorry for you. That’s not the point, Jameela.”
“Well, what is the point? Because I’m not taking a car from you.”
“You’re not taking anything from you. You’re accepting it.”
“Well, I’m not accepting a freaking car from you, Nicholas. You have to admit this is crazy. You don’t get to come in thinking you can just buy me.”
I wanted to tell her that I could buy anything I wanted, but this didn’t feel like the time for that.
Besides, I was starting to realize that Jameela wasn’t something that I could just buy.
I didn’t even want her to feel like I thought she was.
I just wanted to do anything in my power to lighten her load.
Understanding her apprehension, I switched gears.
“OK, what if you pay me back?” I asked her.
“How?”
“I’ll figure something out. You just drive the car until I figure something out.”
“You think you’re so smart.”
“Jameela, I’m not trying to buy you or fix your life. I just want to remove some of your life’s obstacles so that you can enjoy it better.”
Those words seemed to shift something in her. She narrowed her eyes, studying my face before she answered.
“Why?” she asked, tilting her head as she waited for my response.
Because I was a provider. Because it made me feel good to be able to do things for people I cared about.
Because it turned me on to take care of what was mine.
Because I knew what it was like to be at someone’s mercy and have them not show up for you.
Because it made me sick to hear her begging that asshole to help her, knowing that I could.
I said all that in my head, but I suppressed those thoughts for now.
“All night long, I was telling myself how I would do anything in my power to share my bed with you every night. Even when I woke up and found you gone, I had to talk myself out of finding you, taking you home, and making you pack your shit so you could come live with me like I said. I want to show you what it feels like when someone actually puts in the effort to show you your worth. When I care about someone, I don’t know how to half take care of them. I do everything all the way.”
“You don’t even know me, Nicholas.”
“I know that you put everything before yourself because you feel like that’s what it means to be a good daughter, friend, and mother.
I know that you take pride in being independent and only ask for help if you feel like it’s your last option.
I feel like you’ve been carrying way more than your share, and I’m here to lighten the load.
I may not know you well, but I know you well enough to care about your well-being. ”
The way her eyes glistened almost made me regret what I’d said, but I knew she needed to hear it. It hurt that she didn’t feel like she deserved the world, even if a man she kept referring to as a stranger was the one to give it to her.
“Jameela—”
She held her hand up to cut me off. “Nicholas, this is very thoughtful, but I can’t accept such an extravagant gift. I’ll never be able to repay you. Besides, I don’t want my daughter growing up thinking that a man with money is the solution to all of her problems.”
“Neither do I. I want both of our daughters to know that good people coming into your life is a blessing. I want them to understand that they deserve the best, and that’s all they should accept.”
“So, you want your daughter to be spoiled?”
I shrugged before confirming, “And my woman as well.”
“I don’t want my baby growing up to be spoiled and entitled, and I never want to feel that way.”
“Well don’t. Show me your appreciation, habibti. That’s how this works, baby.”
She rolled her eyes, but no matter how she tried, she couldn’t stop blushing.
“I don’t want them to be entitled. I want them to know what it looks like for someone to show up for them. I want to show them by showing up for you,” I explained.
“I don’t know.”
“Will it make you feel better if I just let you borrow the car until you figure something out?”
She shook her head and flashed her eyes at me. “This doesn’t mean anything, Nicholas. If at any time I feel like this is too much, I’m giving the car back.”
“Fine.”
About an hour later, the keys were in her hand.