Chapter 15
Nicholas
I felt helpless watching Jameela stop in her tracks with the phone still clutched in her hand.
Her shoulders were tight like she was bracing for impact, but it would never come, not on my watch.
Her eyes were downcast, only making me more concerned.
Jameela was bold. She handled things head on.
Even when I wanted to help, she wouldn’t allow me.
“Jameela,” I called to her carefully.
I wasn’t sure if I should move closer or stand down.
She lifted her eyes to me. Either she had been crying or she was fighting back tears; either scenario made my chest hurt.
I wanted to move closer, but I didn’t want her to pull away.
I couldn’t handle her pulling away from me right now.
I extended a hand, beckoning her to come to me.
The knot in my chest loosened a little when she took a step in my direction.
Jameela moved slowly down the hall until her hand was in mine.
Not wanting to push her too far, I guided her down as we both sat on the floor in the hallway.
Leaning against the wall, I pulled her head onto my chest and kissed her temple before finally speaking again.
“Talk to me, habibti. I’m right here, baby.”
Her body shuddered against mine as she took a deep breath and let it out. “I’m conflicted.”
“About what?”
“About us. About going back to work. About everything.”
“Why haven’t you been talking to me, Jameela?
I don’t need you running scenarios through your head and spiraling out about things that would never happen.
Let me know when something is bothering you.
We will talk about us, but first, tell me what’s going on with your job? Are they still giving you a hard time?”
“Yes and no.”
When she stopped talking, I didn’t push. I wanted to give her room to process her thoughts and understand that she was safe to share them with me.
“It’s so complicated. I never wanted to bring you into this. My boss . . . he’s Bella’s dad.”
“Oh wow.”
I didn’t know if I was more shocked that she had kept that from me or furious about that asshole making my baby cry and holding her job over her head.
“I promise there is nothing going on between us, and there hasn’t been for a long time.
It’s just that he’s the one deciding when and if I get to go back to work.
He has been giving me a hard time since the day I had her.
He was supposed to take everything to HR, and then he got a promotion and shut that idea down.
I didn’t want to keep sneaking around, so I cut him off.
I’m not sleeping with him, but he’s using the job to control me. ”
“Don’t let him scare you out of doing what you love to do. Have you been looking for another job?”
“They actually want me to come back.”
“That’s a good thing, right?” I asked, confused about why she was crying if this was good news.
“He’s been calling about an opportunity that would be great for my career. I just don’t like it. Everything with him comes with strings and stipulations. Not to mention that he’s sleeping with someone in the office, and she thinks I’m her competition. It’s just a lot.”
“Baby, you don’t have to put up with him. I know you want to work, so I’m not going to keep telling you that you don’t have to. What if I find something for you at the hotel?”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to let them think they’re running me away from my job, but every day I consider turning in my resignation a little more.”
“How about you sleep on it for a few days? Set up a spa day or something for you and your girls and let them help you talk yourself through it. Whatever you decide, I’m behind you one hundred percent.”
“Thank you. You’re too good to me, Nicholas.” She cooed as she peered up at me under heavy lids.
“Nothing’s too good for you,” I said, kissing her temple.
“Thank you for saying that. “
Her posture relaxed, but I wasn’t sold.
“I’m behind you with whatever you decide, habibti. Just don’t think you have anything to prove to anyone. Don’t force yourself back to a place where you no longer fit. If it’s making you this miserable, can the opportunity be so good?”
Jameela was going back to work. She was going back to the man who’d hurt her and abandoned their child.
I didn’t like it. I fell in love with Bella the first time I laid eyes on her.
I didn’t like the idea of the man who contributed to making her not being absolutely in love with her.
What kind of man could turn his back on something so precious?
Did she think this new opportunity he dangled over her head was worth it? Hopefully, some time to think would bring her clarity. I had a ton of questions. For now, I would temper them down. Tonight, I just wanted my lady to feel safe.
“I don’t even know.”
A couple of days after Jameela’s breakdown in the hall, she was still undecided about going back to work. I decided that I would step in and find some opportunities for her in the casino. Having her close to me on a daily basis would be perfect.
I had some great news to share with her.
Lucinda came over out of the blue, with papers, giving me full custody of Amira.
Apparently, she wanted to move to Florida with the father of the baby she was carrying.
I didn’t give a damn why she did it or where she was going.
I was just grateful to have paperwork on my daughter.
Who would have thought I didn’t even have to beg Cindy to sign them?
My next step was to finish completing my family. I wanted Jameela and Bella to join my family officially. I needed Jameela out of the house for a while, so she was out getting her hair and nails done and having lunch with her girls.
Since it was a rainy day, they decided not to get their hair done and decided to just have lunch instead.
She didn’t need to know that everything was on my dime.
I just wanted my baby to unwind. Life was stressful enough without having to worry about whether you wanted to give up your career or deal with your child’s absent father on a daily basis.
I’d had to bribe her friend Sade with a two-night stay at Cashville Hotel to get her to give me her spare key to Jameela’s house so I could get in while they were out. I wanted her surprise to be all set when she came by to pick up some more clothes.
For the past two weeks, my girls had been with me. Today, I wanted to turn two weeks into forever. Bella was with her mom for a few hours since she was off work today. I couldn’t wait to see both of my girls.
Thunder rumbled the house as I sprinkled red rose petals from the front door all the way to Jameela’s bedroom. I tossed my phone on the dresser so it wouldn’t get wet while I was outside.
I’d left the champagne and my baby’s personal roses in the car, so I dashed out to grab them while I still had a chance. I made it back from my car just in time for the bottom of the sky to fall out again.
I’d had the ring stuffed in my pocket all day long. A five-carat pink diamond set in rose gold. It was perfect for my queen, mi reina. I wanted to make it special. I had been racking my brain about how to make the moment just right.
At the end of the day, how I asked her wasn’t as important as what I planned to do afterward. I wanted every day to be special for my girls. No matter how sure I felt about Jameela, I was nervous as hell about asking her to be in my life forever.
I needed something to drown out the thoughts racing through my head and putting my nerves on ten. So, I walked over to her dresser and grabbed my phone. I wasn’t usually a nosy nigga, but the feeling of something cold and hard made me flip the folder back.
A smile curved my lips when I saw a Glock.
I’d expected to find something small and dainty like the little purple .
22 she carried in her purse, but my baby was packing some serious heat.
The pride swelling in my chest instantly deflated when the shiny metal object resting right next to her gun caught my eye.
A badge.
I reached for it but snatched my hand back as it registered why a badge with Officer Jameela Sutton etched in blue would be sitting on her dresser. Sutton? I flipped open the folder that I’d shoved out of the way. My knees buckled when the first thing I noticed was a picture of me.
Target: Nicholas Toriano King, wire fraud, racketeering, money laundering.
Jameela was a cop. Not only was the woman I loved a police officer, but she was investigating me.
My legs gave out, lowering me to the bed as I scanned through the documents.
I sat on her bed and read through pages and pages of her describing our times together and mentioning my patterns and inconsistencies.
There were surveillance reports and even a wiretap request. She had been wearing a wire on one of our dates! What the fuck? I swept everything off the dresser, sending the paperwork flying through the air and her beloved badge crashing to the floor.
I knew I needed to hold it together. I needed to know how far her treachery went. I needed to know what she knew. Jameela had a list of my businesses, even ones that I never mentioned to her. She listed the trips that I had taken her on and who was present. She kept a record of it all.
Jameela even logged the money I gave her, the car, the simple things I bought her and Bella just because.
She even noted the dates and times that we met just to let the girls play.
Every fucking moment that I’d spent falling in love was just a footnote in an investigation to her.
Everything we shared sat in front of me, twisted and tainted into evidence in a month-long investigation. How had I missed this?
Her questions were subtle. There was nothing that stood out.
Even her pulling away didn’t set off any alarms. I searched my mind for any evidence that I had missed the signs.
At the end, the only thing I came up with was betrayal.
How long had she been playing me? From the liquor store? The first night at the casino?
Was this all just a fucking job to her? The job I thought I was protecting her from was all about taking me down. With all the air gut punched out of me, I sank down in a recliner in her living room. Tears rushed down my face hot and silent. I couldn’t believe I was fucking crying.
I didn’t cry. I hadn’t cried since the first time my mom overdosed when I was ten.
In just a few months, this woman had made me cry twice.
Now I was questioning everything. Every single late-night call, every single question that came out of the blue, everything I had charged to us getting to know each other better. Was any of it real?
I didn’t know how long it took for Jameela to get home.
When she made it, I was still in the same position in the chair in her living room.
The surprise on her face when she saw me sitting there melted into a soft smile.
She was happy to see me. I didn’t react to her presence at first. When her eyes fell to my lap, the smile died on her lips.
“What’s going on, baby?”
Using what strength I had left, I stood from my seat and crossed the room to stand in front of her.
She took a step back, but I caught her hand before she could run and pressed the gun into it.
I wrapped her fingers around the grip and raised it until the barrel was aimed at my heart.
Her hand trembled, but I held it in place.
“What are you doing, Nicholas?”
“You’re a fucking cop?” I asked, voice low and even. I didn’t like that she didn’t immediately blurt out that I was mistaken. “Tell me I’m wrong, Jameela. Tell me you’re not a fucking cop, baby. Don’t do this to me.”
Her face crumpled, but she still didn’t offer the protest my heart needed to hear. It was true. It was all true.