Chapter Twenty-Three
Burnt Bridges
Royal
I realized as I glanced in the rearview mirror that I should have flicked a few drops on my body and face. I’d taken every side road possible traveling to my father’s trailer.
I gripped the seat until blood sponged out onto my hand and tapped at my throat and high on my cheek bone. It wasn’t splattered, but I hoped he’d be too excited to notice.
Kingston was another matter; the fucker didn’t miss anything.
I swallowed hard and slowed as I turned into the driveway and killed the engine. A shadow appeared in the doorway, much too small to be that of my father.
“Shit,” I huffed, knowing the microscope Kate had always placed me under.
The woman was better than any cop I’d ever met. She questioned everything and everybody.
I grunted, suddenly appreciating the brilliance of her quirk as I flung the car door open and marched my blood-soaked ass toward the porch. Maybe if I hadn’t trusted the ones around me, I’d not be in this mess.
The shadow backed up in a hurry and heavy steps sounded down the hall. By the time I reached the living room, Kate had dragged my father out to see what a bloodied mess I was.
His eyes lit up and his hand trembled a little as he brought it up to rub at his jaw. He’d never smiled at me like that.
Not in all my years had he looked at me with so much pride.
A part of me had longed for that sentiment when I was younger, but now…
I didn’t give a raggedy fuck about his approval, acceptance, or any type of fatherly bond. That time had long passed, I just couldn’t bring myself to see it until last night.
“I’m fucking tired. Do something with that mess.” I took my shirt off and threw it at him.
He raised his arms like I’d thrown a grenade and the shirt splattered off his worn recliner.
“Hey!” he snapped.
“Fuck off.” I grunted, shaking my head. “I’m exhausted and not in any type of mood.”
“Fine. Fuck off, I’ll handle the body and the car.” He jerked a jacket off the rack and started outside.
“Just get rid of that motherfucker. I handled her myself.”
His eyes slowly narrowed into a squint, and his tone dropped dangerously, “Don’t fuck with me, Royal. Where are her remains?”
I didn’t blink, I held his gaze, kept my shoulders square, and stared right through him.
“Leave him alone, Robby.” Kate quietly urged him, having hesitated only a moment before accepting my performance.
Her heels clicked across the kitchen floor, and she wrapped her arm around me, hugging the opposite shoulder.
“You done this for your family. Don’t ever regret or question that, Roy,” she started, counseling me like I was suddenly her son, too.
“Whatever,” I mumbled, shrugging away from her.
I started toward the door; certain he was going to stop me. When I made it to the end of the sidewalk, my heart raced.
Any second now, he’d come flying out that door and call my bluff. I was concentrating so hard on keeping an ear out for him, that it took me a minute to realize why I had stopped in my tracks.
My bike was parked in front of the garage.
My bike.
The one Kingston had left on.
Birdman had been too happy. There wasn’t a crumb of disappointment in him...
My eyes burned, and I ran.
I heaved as I turned over the engine and couldn’t see shit for the tears when I ripped down the familiar street.
Paxton was gone, and I didn’t know how to tell her.
I didn’t have any real proof, but somehow, I knew it in my bones.
It wasn’t just the soul-jarring loss of a lifelong friend; it was knowing that she’d never look at me the same that cut me so deep.
Every time she thought of me, she’d be reminded of the brother she lost. She’d never reciprocate my feelings now.
I was going to end up locked up, a forgotten stain in her past that would only be drudged up when her grief and pain boiled to the surface.
All of those thoughts and fears crushed what little was left of me.
I wanted to point my bike toward the university and never look back. It didn’t matter that I’d graduated, I had learned to make a new normal for myself there. A normal and peace that I had once hoped to share with her.
Returning hadn’t made it possible; it had shattered any and all chance of that dream.
Fuck.
I knew it was selfish, but I also knew when I dismounted my bike and saw her watching from my mother’s kitchen window, that I wasn’t going to say a word.
I was going to squeeze as much time out of this as I could. I deserved to have memories worth cherishing while I rotted away for their conniving bullshit.