Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Sophomore Year – Night of Spring Bonfire
" P lease, Walsh," Cagen begged. The muggy, night air hit me as I tried to keep Cagen from leaving the Alpha house.
It was the night of the spring bonfire, and our leader, Luca, wanted me to go out to get one of their coveted marks and the one person my dad wanted dead, Ash Ortiz. The Ortiz family were prominent members of the Cartel, and Ash was the last piece of revenge we needed to avenge my mother’s death.
Every year in Isles, the spring bonfire allowed rival fraternities one night to purge the leader. The rest of the year, the university acted as neutral territory, allowing kids from large, underground organizations the ability to attend school without fearing for their life.
I was a member of the Alpha house which most of the Mafia kids belonged to. Because my dad was second-in-line to be capo of the entire organization, I was groomed to be the next leader of the Alphas. After I graduated, I’d go right into my father’s business working under him. My goal was always to be the capo. I loved the feeling that power gave me, and my rightful place was not beside my father but above him.
The Den was our rival fraternity and they were part of the larger Cartel organization, and Ash Ortiz was their leader’s son. There was a long-standing history between our families that made us bitter enemies.
As a kid, I stumbled upon one of my worst nightmares—my mother dead and father bound in the living room. I stashed my sister, Ember, in a closet, taking the grim task of finding my dad and dealing with the aftermath of my mother's death on my own shoulders. It was such a fucked-up situation for a ten-year-old kid, witnessing her lifeless gaze—an experience I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
Although my father wasn’t born into the family, he loved my mother, whose father was the capo of a predominant Mafia family. After her death, he took it upon himself to lead the family, and he was on a rampage to find the killer.
Later, we discovered the cause—my mother's affair with someone in the Cartel. She thought she was falling in love, but it was a setup to fuck with our family. We had killed one of their guys, so they played the long game, tricking my mom into falling out of love with my father and in love with this dude. We took out the guy she was involved with, but losing our mother left a profound scar. My father was hell-bent on making them pay and determined to inflict the same pain they caused us.
Hence tonight's mission: hunting down Ash Ortiz. With my little sister coming to Isles next year, my father had pressed me about the importance of killing him this year. We did not want her to be a part of this.
While that bastard hid, I was on the prowl. I'd make him suffer, torture the hell out of him, then end him so his father understood the agony of losing someone you love. It was my duty as future capo of the family.
It was always about family for me, but I was bred to be a leader. I was born to head up the Mafia and take over for my father. It was in my blood, and I fucking loved the power it gave me. I’d spent most of my life angry for what happened to my mother, and the only thing that gave me any little satisfaction was knowing the power was in my hands.
"Shut the fuck up." Cagen’s eyes went wide. I’d never spoken to her like this before, always playing the role of perfect boyfriend, but this was about my business, and nobody got involved with my business.
"This isn't safe. You’re only a sophomore. I was told that?—"
"You don't know anything." I had told her the truth about my family earlier this year, hoping she would understand the necessity for her to stay away from today. The truth didn't seem to faze her as much as I’d expected. It seemed to have the opposite effect.
For any other person, Cagen would be the perfect girlfriend, but she was about projecting a certain image for me. Over the last nine months, I’d spent many nights at her apartment obsessed with her roommate, but my muse didn’t fit into my life. She wasn’t strong enough yet…one day…
I wanted to prove to my dad, to the family, to the fucking fraternity that I was a man. Cagen came to me earlier, willing to spread her legs, and while she offered me decent company, at that moment, she was hindering my success.
Recently, I had been having regrets when it came to her. She was making plans about what happened after college and wanted a ring on her finger. Yet, there was one person I couldn’t get out of my mind. I tried to avoid her over these past few months because I didn’t want to be tempted again, fearing getting caught and losing the reputation I’d built around campus. When we would run into each other, she pretended I never existed. She never spoke to me about that night, and there wasn’t a word from the gossip mill either.
My good girl already knew her role.
My muse was far too busy playing the role of the good girl, but she was the villain in my story. She had come into my life so suddenly, and I became obsessed with her. The threads of my sanity were unraveling. The night had come to prove I still had the control I needed.
"Luca specifically invited me. I am not saying no to him. You know this." I attempted to push Cagen off me, but she clung to my arms.
She knew what the bonfire was, most kids on campus knew it was a night of pure chaos. No one had actually died in ten years, but murder wasn’t written off the table either.
"Please…" Her big eyes were filled with fear.
That’s where she and I were so different. She was scared—fearful of what lay within the darkness. She didn’t know that over the last year she’d gotten well acquainted with it.
I was the darkness and thrived in the moments between dusk and dawn. I was the nightmare her parents had warned her about.
"Please," Cagen begged again, snapping me out of my thoughts. Standing in a shed outside the Alpha house, shadowed by the pine trees in the back, I opened one of our safes and pulled out two pistols, strapping them both onto my belt. Cagen burst into tears.
Listen, it wasn’t that she was a bad girlfriend. Spending time with her was enjoyable. Although I wasn’t in love with her, I genuinely cared about her and didn’t want to see her hurt. However, her constant damsel-in-distress act was becoming exhausting.
"Solis, pronto ( hello) ?" Luca asked in Italian, opening the back door just as Cagen clung onto my arms. I ran a hand through my freshly cut, thick black hair to ensure it wouldn't get in the way at the bonfire, then tightened my black leather jacket.
"Hey, Cagen, he’s gotta go," Luca said.
I gave her a don’t fuck with me right now look, then she sniffled before dropping a kiss to my lips.
"Be safe," she whispered into the shell of my ear, standing on the tips of her toes. "I love you."
Somehow, I knew that shit was coming, but I refused to deal with it at that moment. I couldn’t share the same sentiment with her because my heart lived in the darkness with me. Loving my family was easy, I cared for them, but I didn’t think I was capable of love in any other form.
"Come on, Cagen." That fucking familiar voice floated in the air, blanketing the night sky with the familiarity that my cold heart may even warm to.
Muse.
I was incapable of love but perfectly capable of having an obsession.
And my obsession just walked outside.
"Maddy," Luca said, whistling at her. She wasn’t Maddy to me though. I saw her for who she really was. I whipped around, and she was sporting those fucking leggings she always wore and a cropped top with a cardigan over it.
"Leave her alone," I ordered Luca, and he glared at me.
I’d deal with him later.
"Come on, Cagen," Maddy whispered as she threw her arm over her shoulder to lead her out.
"Go with her." I pointed in Madison’s direction, but this stubborn fool shook her head.
"I’ll wait for you here."
A few other guys from the Alpha house came outside, strapping their weapons to their chest before heading to the front.
"We gotta fucking go," one of them shouted.
"Just stay in the fucking house, and whatever you do, do not leave my room." She nodded like she understood what I was saying. "Do not try and save the day, Cagen."
Standing by the bonfire out back, the fire crackled, then Maddy flinched and intertwined her beautifully scarred hands.
"I’m not watching this dumbass shit. I’m heading to the apartment. Lemme know if you need anything." Madison gave Cagen a hug. "I’ll come pick you up in the morning."
That's my good girl—so smart. Listen to her, Cagen. Being here, being with me, is dangerous.
I shook my head and ran to catch up with Luca. Because between dusk and dawn, I came alive, and after seeing my muse, I needed to live.