Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
I t was him—the person who lurked in the darkness and scared me most.
"Wha-what are you doing here?" I said, stepping backward; it was suffocating to be in his presence. Even after all this time, it felt like the air was sucked from the earth, and I was struggling to breathe.
I didn't love this man. Hell, I didn't even like him, but he was all-consuming in every way possible. Being in his presence caused an overwhelming amount of unease.
"Wha—"
"A thank you should be your first words to me after all these years?" His hand brushed my cheek as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
"W-w-why?" I couldn’t stop the stammering, and a deceitful smile slid across his face.
He gestured behind me, and as I whipped around, I realized the screaming from the bar was being drowned out by the sound of a...chainsaw?
Where was everyone? Why did it feel like I was the only one out here?
No.
"No. No," I cried, dropping to my knees.
"Ah, on your knees for me already?" Tears filled my eyes as I looked up at my dark savior dressed the part in an all-black suit, with a tie loose around his neck.
"What did you do?" I asked between tearful hiccups.
"I took care of your problem."
"I had it all under control."
He huffed a laugh. "It seems I came back in the nick of time, Muse."
"I saved myself, asshole."
I scrambled to get up, pushing off my knees and steadying myself. Walking past Walsh, I shoved him at the shoulder, but he grabbed me by the elbow.
"Stop holding me hostage," I demanded. I attempted to rip myself away from him, but his grip only intensified. "What are you doing here?"
I was pissed. What the fuck kind of audacity did this man have to waltz into my fucking life after three years and basically throwing me to the street?
"I’ve come to collect what’s mine." I wanted to hate him so badly. I wanted the words spilling from his mouth to cause me despair and anguish, but the same wetness from earlier pooled inside my underwear when he called me his.
"And what would that be?" I asked, finally pulling free of his grip and crossing my arms over my chest. Wetness dripped on my cheek, and looking up, I realized a storm was brewing.
"You."
Walking to the house, I stopped two blocks away and turned. His body was one with the shadows, but his presence could be felt.
"This is me." I threw my head in the direction of the nearest apartment building.
He laughed, dark and deep, reverberating the silence of the street.
"Is it, now?" he asked, stepping into the light from one of the street lights.
"Yes," I said, straightening. I had sobered up, so telling a lie was much easier.
"Go on, then. Don’t let me stop you." I could've sworn a smirk flashed over Walsh’s face, but he quickly went back to the stoic look of utter apathy.
"Fine. I will."
Fuck. I needed to think. Turning away from him, I sashayed my hips, hoping to distract him with my ass as I walked toward the entrance of the apartment complex. A quick glance at the door told me my luck may have run out because it was secured with a remote keypad.
I could call a random person from the dial-up entry and hope that someone was expecting a delivery and randomly buzz me in. Pulling my keys from my pocket, I glanced over my shoulder.
Walsh stood there, his hands shoved into his pocket, grinning like a madman. He was waiting for me to fail, but I would prove him fucking wrong. I just needed to come up with a plan, and quickly.
Slowly making my way toward the door, I knew my best bet was to type in a bunch of random codes and pray for the best. There was no way I would let him win. Whatever his reason for being here, it wasn't good, and I needed to escape, fast.
Fuck, it had been three years. Why was he coming back after three goddamned years? What did he want? But I couldn’t allow my curiosity to drive my rational thought.
"It sure is taking you a while to get to your front door," he called out from behind me. I gave him the bird over my shoulder, then hovered over the numbers on the metal call box. All of a sudden, the door clicked.
"Oh, hi," I shouted at the man leaving the apartment complex. "Do you live here?" I muttered.
The guy looked around to see if I was with someone before his eyes peered into mine. He was much younger than me, no ring on his finger, and had the build and stature of a football player. His long, blonde hair glowed in the night as he pushed his hair off his forehead.
"Uh, yeah?"
"Are you single?" I followed up quickly.
"Uh…"
"Please answer me." He had the door propped open as if he was unsure of whether he was going to bolt back inside.
"Yeah?" I pressed my lips against his mouth while emitting a loud moan.
If Walsh could spend an entire year fucking Cagen roughly in the room next to me to piss me the fuck off, then I could do this to him tonight.
"I need to get inside," I whispered as I pulled away from the perplexed guy. I pushed him backward, knowing Walsh could see that this guy was a fake.
"I must say, this is the first time I’ve been used to make someone jealous."
I balked at his confession. "How do you know it was for jealousy purposes?" I continued walking him backward toward the stairs so we were out of view of the window.
"Because I saw your boyfriend out there watching us with a very pissed off look on his face." I rolled my eyes, but inside, I was doing a little happy dance for beating Walsh at his own game.
"So, what’s your plan now?" the stranger asked. "You wanna come up to my place and finish this little charade?—"
"Absolutely not." I waved my hand in his face. Three times in one night was far too much, even for me. "Is there a back exit?"
He nodded, throwing his head over his shoulder. "Behind us. There is a door that leads out to the parking lot in the back."
"Cool. Thanks for that." The guy chuckled before I headed toward the exit. "Oh, and by the way?"
The guy paused, turning toward me. "He’s a very scary man who is probably stupid pissed off right now, so if I were you, I’d wait a minute before heading out."
"Fuck," the guy groaned before turning to head upstairs. "This is what I get for trying to have a decent Friday night."
"Sorry!" I giggled, then practically skipped toward the back door. God, it felt good to win.
The cool night air blasted me in the face as I checked both ways before bolting toward my house. I ran through two strangers’ backyards before I rounded the corner to the edge of the woods where the guest house was. After opening the gate and running down the driveway, I came across the little cabin I called home.
Before I grabbed the handle, I checked behind me, making sure Walsh didn’t stalk me home. When I put the key to the lock, the door creaked open, and I furrowed my brows.
"That’s weird," I said, swearing I locked it before I left. I was not sober when I left after chugging three shots of vodka, so it was likely I didn't. It wouldn't have been the first time.
Rushing inside, I shut the door behind me, then locked it.
My back pressed against the cool wood of the doorframe, I slid down, hugging my knees when I finally hit the ground. The tears exploded from me as my entire body shook. It had to have been the release of adrenaline over all that had happened. Either that, or it was the fact that Walsh fucking Solis was back in Isles and somehow tortured the guy who was this close to assaulting me.
Even though I’d taken a nap earlier, my body was exhausted. I was mentally spent. All I wanted was to get to the point in my life where people loved me.
My mind trailed off as I lay on the cold floor, huddled into a ball, and closed my eyes.
"Pack your clothes for school. The extra pair." My grandmother’s wrinkled hands passed me an extra pair of clothes to put in my backpack.
"I don’t want to embarrass myself at school. Can I please just stay home?" I begged. I wasn’t ready. Grandma had been preparing me for how a lady should act in school. She encouraged me to use the persona that I’d created when my parents would hurt me and destroy my room. She told me it would make me more likable. People didn’t want to get to know someone with a sob story of the past. They wanted to know the girl who had to go live with her rich grandmother because she was beautiful, stunning, and a perfectly good little girl.
"What if I wet myself at school?" I was eleven years old and about to go into sixth grade, but ever since coming to my grandmother’s house, I had a problem with peeing myself anytime something made me uncomfortable. Terror filled me thinking my dad would come to collect his precious prized possession.
"You are not going to." She grabbed my elbows, yanking me closer to her and forcing me to look up in her aged face. "You are going to walk into that school like you own it, because you do. You are part of me, in my blood. We do not bend to the face of adversity, we stand tall and give it a fucking middle finger."
"But—"
"But nothing. You are not going to wee your pants. You are going to walk in there and become the most popular girl. No one will know your struggle because what we worked so hard on these last few months will come into effect. You will rise above all of it."
"What if I can't?"
"There is no option, sweetheart. You must."
"Why?"
"Because some people are born into this type of world. Some people are given a silver spoon to eat off of, but not us. You are meant to work it. You are meant to fake it. Leave the tough interior you have and keep it to yourself. Horrible things will come to you if you walk around this earth wearing the struggles you’ve gone through on your sleeve."
I nodded, not really understanding my grandmother, but when I got to school, I befriended the cheerleader captain. She told me tryouts were this week and asked me if I was any good at gymnastics. I lied and told her I’d been in gymnastics my entire life growing up.
She seemed to believe my story and told me I should try out. When her little group of friends asked where my parents were, I also lied and said they were on a trip to Europe and left me in the care of my grandmother. It was exactly what she’d told me to say when they would ask. That day, I never wet myself. I was invited to hang out with the jocks, the playboys, and the girls.
Surprisingly, it worked remarkably well. Being invited to sit at their lunch table was impressive, and the head cheerleader's invitation to hang out at her house was shocking. In that moment, I knew I’d never walk around without wearing my alternative self. If I was strong enough, I’d never have to go back to the place I was before. The place where people took advantage of me. The place where the people who were supposed to cherish, love, and protect me, broke me. I would never, ever let anyone hurt me again. I’d become untouchable. I would be seen.