Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
I t was well into the next morning, or afternoon, when I woke up in a bed that was not mine. I had been up until 5:00 a.m. working on ways to find a solution to this madness, spending countless hours calculating ways to convince my father to let me be capo while also not marrying the Irish woman.
The solution to my problem was to find a compromise that didn’t involve me marrying the Irish head’s daughter. I came up with jack shit, which was so out of character that it was driving me insane.
"Ember," I groaned. My sister would hate me if I came home with Madison Ryan on my arm. She would be so livid, and I wasn’t looking to fight with the one person who’d side with me if it came to choosing between Dad or me.
I needed to show her Madison wasn’t as evil as she had been; she was just trying to wage a war against the devil—something she’d simply never win, but didn’t know at the time. My sister would eventually come around; she always did. I just needed a plan to incorporate warming her up to the idea of Madison and appeasing my dad and the Irish.
After taking a shower, I’d hoped that somehow the clean air up here and the solitude of the cabin would provide me with some clarity, but all I could keep thinking of was Madison.
I wanted to know if she was sleeping in like she normally did on Saturday mornings, or did she attend her yoga class that she sometimes taught on the quad on campus. I thought that by coming up here, I’d get my fix and go, but watching her sleeping last night? I had become more fucking addicted, and as someone with an otherwise addictive personality, there was no cure to this unless I fed it. My drug was a fiery redhead who my father despised, my sister wanted buried halfway into the ground, and I wanted nothing to do with her.
That last part was a lie. If we were playing two truths and a lie, that would have been my tell. Because as much as I wanted to scorch the earth that she walked on, I also wanted to worship it like it was the last piece of dirt that existed.
"What is wrong with you, Solis?" I asked myself, rolling my eyes as I clicked on the camera to check her house. She was gone, which meant she was at her yoga class.
"One more taste. If you see her when she’s sober and not in distress, I bet you’ll find her incredibly mundane." I was trying hard to convince myself. I got dressed, then pulled on a black half-zip and headed out toward the ATV to pick up my car and head straight to campus. This would be the end of this game my mind was playing on me. It had to be.
I knew exactly where she was because she was a creature of habit. Over the last few years, her routines had become monotonous, likely to place her nice-girl persona back in place. If she stuck with things that looked and felt socially acceptable, maybe others would flock to her, but she was still alone.
Her stunt senior year with Ember really messed her up. Not only did she lose a lot of friends because of how she treated my sister, but she also started drinking heavily. People in college liked to party and get wild, but they didn't want to be around a drunk. As she grew increasingly angry at me for keeping my distance, I pushed her away, showing her that the war she was waging against me was one she could never win.
And like that, my sweet muse was walking down the street with her yoga mat tucked neatly under her arm. Her hair was pulled atop her head in a messy bun, and she wore black leggings and a black sports bra. Her midriff was out, and from her pace and how her arms were crossed over her stomach, it was clear she was freezing.
Rain drops began to fall, and she looked up at the sky, cursing it silently before picking up her pace. As she was about to cross the street, I pulled out my umbrella, then made my way toward her.
"Yoga class on Saturday mornings still?" I asked. Her head whipped around, and her hands came up around her face.
"Oh no. No. No. No. Get away. Not you." She turned around and ran toward her house.
"Isn’t your house that way?" I gestured down the street, indicating the direction she had led me to the fake apartment complex she had lied about living in.
"Oh-uh." She abruptly turned on her heel, eyeing me before hugging herself tightly. I could practically see her thoughts spinning before she glanced up at the rain pelting her.
I pressed the button to open my umbrella, and the moment it popped open, shielding me from the weather, Madison let out a small whimper. She looked up at the sky, and a small tear fell onto her cheek. I wanted to go over there and give her a hug, and I wasn’t a hugging kind of person.
"Are you done now?" I asked, trying hard to remain stoic. I was attempting to get a hold on my own emotions. She looked up at me, her face drained of color.
"You know where I live, Walsh," she spat at me, turning around and heading toward her house.
We walked a few blocks in silence.
"How did you know?" I asked, staying a few paces behind her.
"I never sleep nude."
"That’ll change soon," I mumbled, and she whipped around and stared at me.
"Why? Why now? What do you want from me? All of a sudden when it’s convenient for you, you’ve decided you are ready for me to…perform like the puppet you think I am?"
She had no idea that being here in Isles was only making it worse for me. I had spent all night conjuring up ways in which we could be together. We were an oxymoron. As much as I wanted to hurt her for what she'd done, I was the only person in her life protecting her from the life I would give her.
"Is this my punishment for hurting your sister?" she muttered, crossing her arms over her body again.
"What do you think?"
"I think you’re a mindfuck. You showed up here acting like I belonged to you last night, stalking me to my guesthouse"—little did she know the extent of my stalking—"then you show up after my yoga class because you knew this is where I was going to be, demanding what exactly out of me? Is your presence after all this time my goddamned punishment?"
I ate up the distance between us in a few strides, grabbed onto her cheeks, and forced her to look into my eyes. "If I was punishing you, Muse, you would know."
Upon letting her go, she stumbled backward a few steps out of the protection of my umbrella. "You aren’t answering me. Why are you here?"
I halted the incessant thinking, the ceaseless calculations, and the fruitless attempts to craft a plan because nothing appeared to be yielding results. My gaze was fixed on her enchanting green eyes, where her eyelashes gently fluttered, moistened by the rain. I saw a little girl who needed someone to come to her rescue. I saw her inner child, and I think, in this moment, she saw mine.
And because I lost control around her, I blurted, "I need you to marry me."