Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
I heard her through the surveillance footage as I drove toward the Irish compound on the outskirts of Seattle a few hours away.
She cried for over an hour, clutching her knees to her chest. I heard her when she begged Enzo to take her car and go back to Isles. I’d heard her when he explained that for her safety, she couldn’t go.
It was my fault she was in tears, but last night fucking wrecked me, and when she walked out, I knew I needed to get my head back on straight.
I’d never let a woman control me in the bedroom. I’d never allowed a woman to ride me, deciding when and how much pressure and thrusts she needed. When my orgasm blasted through me, the aftereffect of what happened was so intense and terrifying. For once in my life, I gave away the one thing that meant so much to me, and it was fucking terrifying that she saw me bare, raw, and exposed.
"Fuck!" I gripped the wheel tighter, driving faster to my destination.
When I’d come back from the bathroom and she was gone, I knew she felt it too—we both lost control and somehow embedded our souls deep within each other. We were two very lost people desperately trying to live for others, and in that moment, it was the two of us, exposed and vulnerable in front of each other.
When my dad called me this morning to tell me the Irish were expecting me this weekend, I figured I’d fly up a little earlier to clear my mind. I’d asked him if he’d grant me an extension on the welcoming party for Madison, and he agreed that doing it after the holidays was for the better.
Madison was in my life now, regardless of the decision to marry her being impulsive. I needed to protect her and keep her safe.
The only way I knew how to do that was to keep my distance. Because when I was around her, I fell apart. She needed to stay away from me, and I’d protect her because I vowed to, but that meant protecting her from me.
As long as she was far away from me, I could keep her safe. Because it seemed like everyone in my life was always in the line of danger. When I was dating Cagen, although it was technically her fault for running into the bonfire, she was struck.
This time, though, the danger was me. I was the one Madison needed to be separated from because I was unraveling. I’d lost all semblance of control in my life and needed to make sure I got a better hold of it before I came around her again.
I ran my hand through my hair as I drove toward the hotel I was staying at. "Fuck."
It was like a game of tug of war with my heart. I knew what I wanted to do, which was be home with her, but I felt after we were together and she ran away that I would only keep hurting her more if I was around.
I closed my eyes, holding them shut for a moment too long. Aside from keeping her safe from the biggest demon—myself—I also needed to safeguard her from the outrage they would have when they found out I would not be marrying one of their own.
I would be arriving early and didn’t plan on coming back to the house for a while, which is why I kept Enzo as her guard, bringing two of my father’s men with me to deal with the Irish.