Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
H is presence cooled the air when the bar door slammed open. I sensed him stalking behind me before I turned around to confirm my suspicions. He was always going to find me.
"Why did you have to make it this hard?" he drawled, his warm breath hitting my ear as he leaned down and pulled the drink out of my hand. To be fair, I hadn’t taken a single sip. I wanted to be sober when he came stalking by.
"It was easy, and you know it," I replied, my words punctuated by the creak of the swiveling bar stool. Turning to face him, the contrast of his silhouette against the dimly lit backdrop drew my attention. His longer, tousled black hair framed a face adorned with the stubble on his cheek. The weariness in his deep-brown eyes spoke volumes, revealing the toll of the time we spent apart. Dressed in black, his presence was both commanding and magnetic, impossible to ignore. Time seemed to slow as our eyes locked, the atmosphere thick with an unspoken tension that lingered between us.
My voice cracked, "Hi."
His eyes softened as he looked me up and down as if searching for any problems.
"Hi," he whispered back.
"You came." I cupped his face, and this time, he allowed me to. His stubble was rough against my smooth hands.
As if there was no one else in our world, I could only see him and smell the subtleness of crisp, linen sheets and musk in front of me. There was no one else in that bar except for us.
"I fucked up." His words were soft against the hum of the bar as if they were only meant for me, too.
"I did, too," I admitted. "There is so much I need to tell you."
"I never meant to lock you in the house." His tone was still and quiet, but he stepped aside so I could see more of him. He cornered me so my back was pressed against the slats of the bar and got eye level with me. "I thought I was doing it to protect you, to save you in some way?—"
I pressed a finger to his mouth. "Later," I murmured.
"Can I take you home?"
Tears started to slide down my face. "I don't know where home is." My voice cracked at the end of the sentence.
"Let me show you." His gaze dropped to mine, and in this crappy college bar on Christmas Eve…or was it already Christmas Day…it was all I could see.
And God, I was so mad at him. Pissed that he’d left me. I was so frustrated that it took us this moment to realize we needed each other. When his eyes drifted toward my lips, I swear his bottom lip quivered.
He was Walsh Solis, the powerful leader to everyone else, but in that moment, he was mine—my husband.
"Madison." His voice, low and raspy, cut through the soft music within the bar. His hands rose tentatively, fingers reaching for my chin as he lowered his own. Our eyes remained locked, and the pounding of my heart echoed in my ears.
"I've never made a bad decision in my life, Madison. Every action I've taken has been carefully planned, except when it came to you. The moment I saw you in her apartment, I knew you had to be mine." His low voice accompanied the gentle circles his thumb traced along my chin, coaxing my gaze to stay fixed on him.
"But when I saw you, all my plans went out the window. I no longer cared about the carefully curated path I'd set for myself. All I wanted was to spend more time with you, to know what you were doing, to be with you. I made so many terrible decisions when it came to you that I started to spiral out of control." He paused, coughing, perhaps to hide the emotion cracking his voice.
"When we were together in the house, and I let you take control, and then you were gone minutes later, I tried doing the right thing. I thought you needed space, that maybe I'd come on too strong and messed everything up. I thought you couldn't handle me anymore."
"That's not it at all." Tears streamed down my cheeks.
"Please, let me finish."
I nodded, urging him to continue.
"I just didn't realize that I deserved a woman like you, Madison. You are so much like me. Strong and terrified of showing your true self, hiding beneath the shadows of your own mask. But you are beautiful, and I just need you to know that. You can hate me all you want, but when I saw you were gone in Dansport, I lost it."
He paused, locking eyes with me. "I thought I'd lost part of my soul," he whispered, and I stared into his tortured eyes.
"You locked me in the house," I whispered. "I cannot do that again. It's what—" I started to sob, hiccups and all, and he caressed my cheeks.
"I didn’t mean to. I swear I was doing it to protect you." His voice dropped an octave so no one else in the bar could hear him. "I am a very dangerous man, Madison. There are so many people that want me dead and ultimately, would want you dead. I was doing it to protect you. I am sorry if it didn’t feel like that."
My heart was racing. I guess I hadn’t thought of it that way. I was too consumed with the feeling of being trapped and how it reminded me of my parents and what they did. "I didn't realize it was for my protection."
"I will never ever make you feel like that again. I can’t promise that you won't need to have guards with you wherever you go, because if those people who are looking for me ever find you, Muse? I’d be destroyed."
"D-destroyed?" I repeated. This conversation was so vulnerable that I was having a hard time processing it all.
"Yeah," he confessed, his eyes locked onto mine. "I wouldn't know how to go on. You've become my world, and without you in it, everything would crumble. I never want to put you in danger again. You mean too much to me, and I can't lose you, not now, not ever."
"Then why leave me?" I asked, searching desperately for answers.
He took a deep breath, his eyes revealing a mixture of regret and sincerity. "Madison, I left because I was terrified. Terrified of being so vulnerable and raw in front of someone. I've always been the big bad wolf, lurking from a distance, and this was different, scary.
"I grew up in a world where showing weakness could be deadly. Emotions were a liability. But then you came into my life, and you saw through all the walls I had built. You saw the real me, and it scared the hell out of me. I didn't know how to handle it, how to handle you.
"I thought I was protecting you by marrying you and then staying away, by not dragging you into my chaotic world. I was convinced that you deserved better, someone who could give you a normal life. But I was wrong. I was hurting both of us more by staying away.
"I think I—" He paused, shaking his head as if he didn’t believe the words he was about to say. "I just didn't know how to deal with it. I promise you, I won't run away again. We'll face whatever comes our way together, and I'll do everything in my power to make it right."
"Walsh?" I questioned.
"Mm-hm?"
"Kiss me already," I muttered. We had never kissed before, never realized we wanted to until this moment. The intimidating Walsh Solis, the man who sought to take me down and ruin me, was no longer standing before me. Now, he looked at me like I was the only thing he wanted. Searching his eyes for any hint of hesitation, none came as his mouth hovered over mine.
Taking his time, savoring what was his, he inhaled deeply. Though I couldn't fathom he was smelling anything beyond the mustiness of the bar, the corners of his mouth twitched into a soft smile.
And then his mouth dropped onto mine.
His lips met mine in a slow, deliberate dance. The kiss held a blend of tenderness and urgency, like brushing a canvas with strokes of desire. The softness of his lips ignited a fervor deep within me. Each movement was deliberate.
My fingers instinctively found their way into his hair, threading through the strands as I pulled him closer. His longer, black locks were surprisingly soft. The sensation of his stubble on my cheek sent shivers down my spine, a reminder of the raw power that defined Walsh.
As the kiss deepened, his hands found a resting place on the small of my back, and I arched off the chair every so slightly, creating a connection that fused our bodies together. The world faded into insignificance, and all that remained was the intoxicating exchange.
When our lips finally parted, a breathless tension lingered in the air, and our eyes locked in an unspoken understanding. The kiss had become a bridge, a silent agreement that spoke volumes about the uncharted territory we were stepping into.
In that moment, amidst the dim glow of the bar's ambiance, Walsh and I stood on the precipice of something unknown, something that held the promise of healing and connection in the wake of our tumultuous unfolding.
He pulled back only slightly, nodding over to the drink sitting on the bar top. "You didn’t drink?"
I shook my head. "No. Just wanted to…feel like home." I shrugged because it sounded stupid, then Walsh grabbed my hand.
I now knew what home felt like….what it tasted like, and I’d never get another high quite like it.
"Can we go home? I have a surprise."
I nodded, snapping out of the lust-filled reverie I’d been in. Walsh threw a hundred on the bar and interlaced our fingers, and reveled in the fact we fit so well with each other.
As we walked out the door, the familiar black SUV was waiting for us, and this time, Walsh held the door open for me as I got in, then slid in next to me.
"Let’s go home," he murmured.