Chapter Fifteen
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
LENNON
The days don’t seem as long, and getting out of bed in the morning isn’t as hard. Still, the loss exists and hits me without warning. A few nights ago, after the smell of Chinese food made me sick, Hunter showed a caring side I didn’t know existed. Part of me says he’s being nice because I was Brandon’s girlfriend, but I know he’s being genuine now. Hunter wouldn’t spend his nights with me if he truly didn’t want to, but I have this anxious feeling in my gut that things will eventually change, and he won’t want me around anymore.
Perhaps it’s because I’ve lived in an apartment that never truly felt like mine. It’s always been a temporary living situation until Brandon and I moved out. Now that I have no reason to be here, I’m waiting for Hunter to be ready to move on with his life that won’t include me lingering around in my sadness.
Still, he continues to reassure me he has no problem with me being here. I can’t even remember the last time he’s brought a date home, which is odd considering Hunter’s previous habits. He goes to work, comes home to make or order dinner, then we hang out and flip through channels until bedtime.
“Lennon, have you been cleaning?” Maddie asks, looking around the spotless apartment. Sophie sits next to me and starts looking around too.
“No.” I snort. “What’s there to clean?”
“Did you get a housekeeper?” Sophie asks, glancing from the living room to the kitchen.
“No,” I say, dragging out the word.
They both look at me with confused expressions on their faces.
“Apparently, Hunter knows how to clean after all,” I say, chuckling. “Or he does it to keep his mind busy.” I shrug, not really knowing why he’s been keeping up with the apartment. I was a mess in those early weeks after Brandon’s death and barely moved off the couch. Hunter did everything. Hell, he still does.
“I can’t picture it,” Maddie says. “He’s like this big, beefed-up dude, and now you’re telling me he walks around in an apron and feather dusts the place?”
Sophie and I burst out laughing at her exaggerations. “I didn’t need that image in my head.” Sophie cackles.
“I never said that!” I’m laughing so hard there are tears in my eyes.
But now my mind wanders to the moment when I walked in on him in the bathroom. I could’ve sworn the water was still on, and the last thing I expected to see was a very naked Hunter. I pull my lips into my mouth so I don’t blurt out my thoughts. My sisters are the last people who need to know what happened. They’d never let me live it down and would probably want all the details. My cheeks heat thinking about it, and I hope neither notices.
“Well, regardless, he’s doing a good job,” Maddie praises.
“He definitely is,” I admit. “But it’s as if he’s flipped a switch from mega asshole to mega sweet. It’s weird.”
“Probably trying to make things easier on you,” Sophie suggests.
I shrug again, not knowing why either.
“So aside from going to the bookstore on Tuesday, have you left the apartment?” Sophie asks, changing the subject.
“Yes, thank you very much. I did a load of laundry and grabbed the mail,” I say smugly, though I know it’s not going to be enough to satisfy her.
“Oh, I should’ve been more specific,” Sophie says dramatically, rolling her eyes. “Have you left the premises?”
“No. What for? I’m on summer break!” I try to defend myself.
“That’s it, we’re going out tonight!” Maddie announces way too loudly. “Girls’ night out. We’re gonna get shitfaced, have sex in bar bathrooms, and dance like no one’s watching!”
Sophie and I stare before we both start laughing. “You need a leash, woman,” I tease. “And we aren’t doing any bathroom stuff because that’s unhygienic.”
“I mean, I’m not opposed to the first two,” Sophie quips.
“Okay, I’ll settle for the Coliseum since they won’t kick my underage ass out. We can play pool, and I’ll school you in darts.” Maddie’s nearly begging, which makes it even harder to say no.
“I don’t know…” I hesitate. Brandon and I went there a lot, which will be another reminder he’s no longer here. “I don’t know if I can go in there yet.”
My sisters look at me with sympathy in their eyes and are probably wondering when I’m going to allow myself to live again. It’s only been two months, but no matter if I’m ready to merge back into life, the world moves on around me. I know Brandon wouldn’t want me to waste away and do nothing, but losing him is still very raw.
“Let me think about it,” I tell them.
“Think about what?” Hunter’s booming voice makes the three of us jump. I didn’t even hear the front door open. He’s in his work clothes, which are surprisingly nice. I know he works on construction sites, but he’s in his office quite a bit too.
“Hunter, talk some sense into your roommate and tell her it’s time to go out and have a little fun tonight,” Maddie says before I can respond to him.
He shoots me a look, examining my face, then blinks. “Where at?”
“The Coliseum,” Maddie responds. “She’s barely left the apartment in weeks.” She turns all the way around to face Hunter. “Hell, you should come too! Both of you could use a night of fun.”
I bite my lower lip, anxious to hear his response. Maddie’s good at being unpredictable and blurting out the first thing that comes to her mind.
“In fact, let’s invite Liam and Mason, and we can all go out!” She claps her hands as if her idea is pure brilliance. “Whatcha say, Lennon?”
Sophie looks as if she’s given up taming our sister. Hunter studies me, wondering if he should put in his two cents. I know I should get out of the house, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to be with the gang without Brandon.
When Hunter steps forward, he must sense my concern. He takes a seat next to me on the couch and faces my sisters, who are sitting on the coffee table. “What if we go to Home Base? I know a guy who works there who’ll let you in,” he says, turning to Maddie.
She jumps up, then wraps her arms around Hunter. I chuckle at the way he furrows his brows in confusion. “Hells yeah! Let’s do it!” Maddie gives Sophie a high five, who shakes her head at our little sister.
Part of me is shocked Hunter would suggest this since I know how he and his friends love the Coliseum, but maybe he’s not ready to go back there yet either. I’m sure he could see the uncertainty in my eyes, but I’m glad he’s going to be there tonight.
“Great, we’ll meet you guys there at nine?” Sophie suggests, standing and grabbing Maddie. “I need to give this one a swig of NyQuil so she calms the hell down.”
That has Hunter and me laughing. When they’re finally gone, Hunter turns toward me.
“Sure you wanna go out tonight?” He studies my face, concern written all over his. “Because you don’t have to if you’re not ready.”
I nod, lowering my eyes before looking back at him. “Yeah. I was worried about going to the Coliseum, so thanks for suggesting somewhere else. It might be fun to try a new place.”
Hunter pats his hand on my knee and nods before pushing himself up. “I’m gonna take a quick shower. Do you wanna eat something before we leave?”
“Sure, I was thinking of cooking.”
He raises his brows in shock.
“I know how to cook, remember?” I laugh at his facial expression. “Plus, I kinda owe you.”
“Okay, just don’t poison me.” He winks before turning away and walking down the hallway.
It’s nothing glamorous, but I make a pan of baked spaghetti with lots of mozzarella cheese and a side of garlic toast. As soon as Hunter emerges from his shower, all dressed and ready, he compliments how great it smells and dives in.
The anxiety of how this doesn’t feel weird when it should hit me. Hunter and I eating together is our new normal, yet I’m waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me. This was Brandon’s and my routine, and without him here, I feel as if I’ve replaced him. Though I know that isn’t the case, I can’t shake the feeling. After dinner, I clean up, then go to my room to dress.
It’s a quarter till nine when Hunter knocks on the door and asks if I’m ready. I can’t decide what to wear since everything reminds me of Brandon. The dresses and shirts I wore during special moments or dates are automatically out. It doesn’t feel right wearing them now.
“Hold on,” I call out, slamming the hangers as I brush through my closet again. I haven’t moved my clothes into my “new” room, so he probably needs to get in here now.
“Lennon, if you changed your mind—” His voice is soft, but when his words stop, I look up and see Hunter in the doorway. “Shit, sorry.” He closes his eyes and spins around. “I thought you’d be dressed by now.”
I look down and realize I’m standing in only my bra and jeans. After hating the last shirt I tried on, I took it off and threw it on the floor.
“Considering I walked in on you naked, you were probably waiting to get even with me,” I tease, though I know he didn’t do it intentionally.
Hunter’s shoulders shake as he laughs off my comment. “Not true. I’m not Rachel,” he says, mentioning that episode of Friends that we joked about last time. “I was checking to see if you had changed your mind. If you don’t wanna go anymore, it’s okay.”
I inhale a deep breath and sigh. “It’s not that. I can’t figure out what to wear. A lot of the things I like remind me of Brandon,” I tell him honestly.
Hunter bows his head and nods, keeping his body turned away from mine. I find it pretty funny and ironic, considering he’s probably seen dozens of naked women in his lifetime.
“What about that one dark blue shirt with the three top buttons and your black jeans?” He says it so casually that I’m shooting him confused looks, though he can’t see me. “I swear I haven’t been creeping in your closet. I remembered how nice they looked on you the last time you wore them.” His words are coming out choppy almost as if he’s nervous to admit that.
“That’s a good combo.” I dig around for the shirt and jeans and tell him I’ll be out in five minutes. Hunter leaves, and I dress, admiring how it looks in the full-length mirror on the back of the door. They’re a little loose on me since I haven’t been eating much these past couple of months.
When I meet him in the living room, I notice he’s dressed in dark wash jeans and a nice gray shirt. Though when I notice how tight the sleeves are on his arms, I burst out laughing. I can’t help but glance at his tattoos when I look at him.
“What?” He shoots me a look.
“Don’t bend or move because I’m pretty sure that shirt will rip to shreds.” I smile, grabbing my purse. I stuff my phone inside, then slide on my shoes.
Hunter looks down at his shirt and flexes his arm. “Damn thing shrank in the wash.”
“I’m sure,” I quip. “You’ve worn tight shirts for as long as I’ve known you.”
“Well, how do you think I got all those tips when I was bartending?” He waggles his brows, and it brings me back to the first night we met.
“I think it’s time to go up a size.” I look him up and down.
He grabs his wallet and stuffs it into his back pocket before taking his keys off the table.
“There’s the bossy Lennon I’ve been missing,” he taunts, opening the door for me.
“I was never bossy,” I argue.
“And I’m a virgin,” Hunter deadpans, shutting and locking the door behind us.
“Oh, look. Rude Hunter returns.”
He snorts, shaking his head. “Not true and you know it.”
We walk to his truck and get inside. I haven’t been here since the day of the funeral, and the whiplash of memories hits me full force. A tear slips down my cheek, and I’m not quick enough to wipe it away before Hunter notices.
“Lennon.” His voice is soft and tender. “We don’t have to go.”
I keep my eyes locked on my feet, trying to find the willpower to do this. I know I can’t stay cooped up in the apartment all summer, but this feels like a big step.
“No, let’s go. They’re all expecting us.”
“Look at me,” he demands, and I do. “I don’t give a shit if the queen herself is expecting us. If you’re not ready, we’re not going.”
Hunter stares like I’m his to protect and care for, which confuses me more than I’d like to admit. I’m not sure if he’s doing it because Brandon was his best friend and he feels obligated for another reason. Although I’m appreciative of how much he’s been there for me, I need to remind myself we’re still only roommates, who are grieving the same person.
“I’m good.” I smile reassuringly. “Let’s go.”
We drive in silence to Home Base. It has a restaurant inside with a full bar. As soon as we walk in, my mood lifts. The music’s loud, and people are everywhere. By the size of the crowd, I know it’s definitely a Friday night. The guy at the door knew Hunter just like he said and told him he was waiting for two more. Sophie and Maddie arrive a few minutes later, and as soon as Maddie gets through, she fist pumps the air.
“No alcohol,” I warn, pointing at her. “You’re here to hang out.”
“Soph already gave me the lecture.” She rolls her eyes. “Are Mason and Liam here yet?”
Hunter checks the time on his phone. “Should be in about five minutes.”
We walk to one of the bar top tables and all take a seat except for Hunter. He’s standing next to me with his arm around the back of my chair. “You want me to get you something?”
When I turn, his face is directly in front of mine. Leaning back a little, I tell him to surprise me. He asks my sisters what they want, and then he’s off to place our order.
“I like this place!” Maddie bounces in her seat. “Lots of fresh meat.”
Sophie and I laugh at the way she’s eyeing every guy who walks by.
“You’re like a cat in heat. Ready to mount the first thing that purrs at you,” I quip.
“Worse, she’s the one purring for a mate,” Sophie adds, and we laugh at Maddie’s death stare.
“You two suck. I hate you both.”
Sophie snickers. “No you don’t.”
A moment later, Liam and Mason arrive, and Hunter returns with our drinks.
“Where’s ours, asshole?” Mason asks.
“Get your own shit,” Hunter tells him. “I’m not your bar bitch anymore.”
I laugh at their banter, knowing it’s all harmless fun.
The six of us sit and hang for a while before a song comes on that has Maddie out of her seat, begging for one of us to dance with her.
“Hulk…” She drags his name out to taunt him. She knows damn well Liam ignores her every chance he can. “Come with me?”
He grabs the neck of his beer, then brings it to his mouth, shaking his head at her request. He rarely talks to her, yet she tries to get his attention regardless. It’s this weird game of how many times can she hit on him before he finally gives in to his attraction. Though he pretends to be annoyed by her, lust lingers in his gaze.
“I’ll go with ya,” Mason finally breaks the tension and offers. “No backing that ass up on me, though.”
“Why you gotta be a mood killer?” I hear her asking him as they walk off.
Liam releases a breath, and the three of us notice.
“What?” he asks as if he’s confused by our reactions.
“When’re you gonna stop pussyfooting around and admit you like her?” Hunter’s words come out rugged as if they’ve had this conversation before, which takes me by surprise. I thought Sophie and I were the only ones who knew.
“She’s way too much for a guy like Liam.” Sophie smirks, holding back a laugh.
Liam drops his eyes to her and shoots daggers. “When’re you gonna stop looking at Mason like you’re a lost puppy and ask him out?”
I nearly spit out my Jack and Coke I sipped.
Sophie’s jaw drops, glaring. She smacks him on the chest, which has Hunter and me laughing.
“I do not look at him like that, you bastard.” Sophie narrows her eyes at Liam, scowling. “He doesn’t even acknowledge my existence.”
“Yeah, and it drives you insane,” he retorts, chuckling, and I feel like I’m missing an inside joke between them.
“Someone wanna catch me up?” I ask, then finish the rest of my drink.
“They’ve been going on double non-dates,” Hunter fills me in.
“What?” I gasp. “How come no one told me?”
Sophie tilts her head, and her silence is all I need to know. I haven’t been the best company.
“We ran into them a few times,” she explains. “Then hung out and whatever. Nothing really.”
Liam snorts. “It was mostly Sophie trying to talk to Mason, who then talked to everyone except her.”
“No, you mean it was mostly you trying to ignore Maddie anytime a guy hit on her. You’re such an ass.” She pushes his shoulder when he tries to sit closer. “Go away.”
“Soph, you don’t mean that,” he taunts, sticking out his lower lip.
When the hell did they grow so damn close?
Not that I’m remotely mad about it, but I’m sad she felt like she couldn’t tell me.
“So…” Hunter lingers, pointing his almost empty beer at the two of them across from us. “Sophie wants to bang Mason, except he put her in the friend-zone, and Liam wants to deflower Maddie, but he’s afraid he’s not man enough for the job.”
I burst out laughing when Hunter grins smugly at his own summary.
“Alright, I’m caught up now,” I say, laughing in amusement.
“Both of you suck. No, all of you do.” Sophie frowns, taking her drink and chugging it.
“For the record,” Liam begins, looking at me, “I don’t think that. I’m plenty confident.”
“Trust me, Liam.” I pat him on his rock-hard shoulder. “We know.”
Mason and Maddie are dancing, and for a moment, I’m brought back to when Brandon and I used to dance together when we’d go out. We’d have so much damn fun. He’d spin me around and rock our hips together to the rhythm of the music, and we’d laugh the night away.
A numb feeling hits my gut knowing the last time we danced together was the final time. I always assumed there would be another time we’d go out and have fun. There’d always be more kisses and hugs, ass grabs, and we’d wake up next to each other every morning for the rest of our lives. Though we always exchanged I love yous like it was our last time, I knew we’d say it later. Never in my worst nightmares did I think I wouldn’t get to tell him again.
“Lennon, you okay?” Hunter’s voice has me blinking away the fog and there’s concern on his face. With pursed lips and brows pulled together, he studies me.
I swallow, shaking my head lightly. “Yeah, fine. Anyone want a refill? Next round’s on me.”
“Yeah, I’ll go up with you!” Sophie offers. “Hulk, you need another drink?”
Liam groans, handing over his empty beer. “Better watch it, woman.”
“Or what? You’ll man up?” She chuckles, grabbing his bottle and walking with me to the bar.
I can’t deny how much I love hearing my sisters laughing and having a good time. I know they both work so hard, and it puts a small smile on my face when they can let loose.
“Should we cave and get Maddie a drink?” I snicker.
“We could get her a diet cherry Coke and tell her there’s alcohol in it, and she’d never know,” Sophie says, laughing. “Let’s do it and see if she notices or pretends to be tipsy.”
“We’re going to sister hell,” I quip, chuckling with her.
“It’s our obligatory duty to tease her.” Sophie shrugs, then orders.
While we wait, Sophie looks at me with an odd expression on her face. I give her a confused look in return.
“So…you gonna tell me what’s going on with you and Hunter?”