Chapter Nine
Olive
"Ineed help," I announce early the following morning, flinging my stuff down on the counter in the bookstore.
Sarah and Lilah look up at me with matching expressions. They're half amused, half hunted, like I'm Satan, breathing down their necks.
"I'm not helping you change your name and move to Europe, Olive," Sarah says. "It's seven in the morning."
"We're way past that!" I cry. "Way past that!"
"This should be good," Lilah mutters, hiding her face in her coffee mug.
"What'd you do this time?"
I narrow my eyes on my best friend. "Why do you always think I did something?"
"Because I know you?" she asks, cocking her head to the side with a soft smile. "You panic and do the worst possible thing. Remember that time you got us searched when we got pulled over because you told the officer that we didn't have drugs shoved up our butts?"
Lilah chokes on her coffee.
"It was supposed to be a joke," I grumble. How was I to know he'd take it as some sort of confession of guilt and call out a K-9 and a female officer? We narrowly avoided a full cavity search.
"Maybe don't joke about putting drugs in your orifices to the cops?" Lilah suggests. "I don't think they like that."
"Well, I know that now!" I mutter, sinking down onto a chair beside Sarah.
Lilah just grins at me. "So…what's wrong?"
"Mason and I may have slept together last night," I admit. "Three times. And I may or may not have feelings for him. Ugh. Will you two stop looking at me like that?"
"We're just looking at you," Sarah lies, like I can't see the shit-eating grin plastered across her face.
"And obviously, you have feelings for him.
I could have told you before you spent three days researching which European country was most like California, and if driving on the opposite side of the road was a law over there or just a suggestion. "
"It seemed relevant, Sarah," I mutter.
"Why is having feelings for him a problem?" Lilah asks when Sarah just smirks at me.
"Have you met me?" I gape at her. "I'm going to fuck this up."
"Olive," she says softly, shaking her head. "I highly doubt that."
"The last man I dated is currently in prison."
"Well…that's not ideal," she mutters, blinking at me. "But we've already established that Mason is a law-abiding citizen. He also happens to be crazy about you. Don't create problems where they don't exist. Believe me, I've been there."
"Uh, again, have you met me?" I cross my arms to glare at her. "I read porn, and I create problems. It's what I do."
Her lips twitch. "You know what else you do?"
"Overthink?" Sarah mutters.
Lilah shoots her a stern look before turning back to me.
"You work your ass off here for free because you have the biggest heart.
You have an advanced degree in biochemistry because the only thing bigger than your heart is your brain.
You make people feel seen, loved, and important.
You go out of your way to save tiny dogs and take care of the people around you.
You love hard, and you believe in forever with every single bone in your body.
You also see the world the way it could be instead of the way it is, and you live your life as if it were already that way. You're fucking amazing, Olive."
"I'm a mess," I groan, burying my face in my hands.
"No." Sarah pries them away, forcing me to look at her. "You throw yourself into life with your whole heart. Now, you're in love, and you've never felt that way before. You're scared because he matters to you."
"I don't want to mess it up," I whisper. "I can't live beside him for the rest of my life and not be his."
"I've seen the way he looks at you. You can't mess it up."
"Again, have you met me?"
"Olive," Lilah says with a little laugh. "You've already accused the man of being a serial killer, a stalker, and of having someone tied up in his basement, and he still looks at you with stars in his eyes."
"He is a stalker," I mutter. "He admitted that he follows me here."
"You're only proving my point," she says, grinning at me. "Despite everything, he still wants you. He's still wild enough about you that he willingly strolls into this bookstore and browses, just to spend five minutes in your presence. The man is wild about you. He isn't going anywhere."
"I think that's what's freaking me out," I admit on a whisper.
Lilah blinks at me. "You're freaking out because he's not going anywhere?"
"I have a history," I explain. "I learned how to deal with being ghosted and stood up.
I even learned how to dust myself off after being offered cocaine or watching my date being led away in handcuffs.
But…I don't know what to do with a man who stays.
" I stare at her with wide eyes. "Especially one like Mason. "
"You love him," Sarah says.
"I've never felt anything like this before. I don't know what to do next. I thought I'd die alone. I accepted that I'd die alone. Now, there's Mason, and it all feels so damn…good!" I cry softly. "I don't know what to do with that."
"You enjoy it," Lilah says, sipping her coffee.
"You climb that man as often as possible, you create a little chaos in his life, and you give him nine thousand new reasons to love you every day just by being you.
The rest will fall into place. You don't have to have all the answers. You just have to follow your heart."
"Follow my heart." Right. I can do that. Except…my heart has never spoken to me before now. It's always wanted love, but it's never found it. It's never been staring down the barrel at it, desperate to keep it. If I fuck it up now, I'll never recover.
So…I just have to not fuck it up.
I can do that.
One way or another, I will do that.