CHAPTER THIRTEEN Emily
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Emily
“Y ou didn’t seriously think we’d let you spend your first night back alone, did you?” Haley breezes past me and flops dramatically onto my bed. Bon and Kate follow like clockwork, their smiles wide.
“I was kinda hoping for some time to rest, actually,” I mutter, closing the door behind them with a resigned laugh.
“Yeah, right,” Bon says, setting the wine down. “You wouldn’t sleep even if we let you. Your body clock is still adjusting. We’ve got so much to catch up on.”
Kate nods, pulling out a container of my favorite takeout. “Consider this an intervention. You’ve been away too long.”
With a sigh and a smile, I join them on the bed. “Thanks, I guess?”
I take a glass and pour myself a glass of wine while I munch on the snacks they brought. I can feel the girls’ eyes on me as I chug on the wineglass.
“Okay, now spill,” Bon says as she refills the glass with wine. “How in the world did you and Kuya happen? And why the hell did you not tell me?” She smacks my arm playfully. There’s a flicker of annoyance in her tone, like she’s secretly hurt by what I did.
“First of all, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” I hope I sound as sincere as I feel. I really do feel bad about lying to my friends.
Haley raises an eyebrow. “Why did you keep it from all of us? I know you’re used to being on your own, but news like this deserves the spotlight. Were you planning to surprise us or were you just testing if it would last a full week?” She chuckles, but I can tell she wants me to share more.
“Seriously,” Kate chimes in, handing me the container of takeout. “We’re your best friends. We demand answers.”
They’re all staring at me, wide-eyed with anticipation. For a second, I’m taken back to the days when secrets didn’t feel so heavy. When everything we said to each other was without pretense or fear. The sleepovers where we’d whisper until dawn, cramming into the same blanket fort. Riding bikes until the street lights flickered on. Sharing ramen packets like they were gourmet meals. We shared stories and lives.
And here I am, holding a piece of mine back.
They’re my family. Always have been. Always will be. And yet, the thought of baring this to them—admitting how messy, fragile, and small my life feels—fills me with shame. They see me as someone strong, someone they can depend on. How can I tell them the truth? That I’m not worth the admiration? That I don’t even have my own life together?
“It just… happened,” I say as I give myself time to get the story ready in my head. I take a bite to stall more, the taste of barbecue skewers doing nothing to calm my nerves.
“Just happened?” Bon raises her voice. “Did you trip and fall into a relationship?”
“It’s not a relationship… yet… I think,” I say. Okay. Joshua said that the secret to a good lie is to incorporate a bit of truth. I can do that. It’s just like a reverse version of two truths and a lie.
“Look, guys,” I start. “Joshua and I are still, you know, testing the waters.” Lie. “We’re still a new couple, and navigating this thing between us is already so weird. I don’t know how to share it with you.” Lie. “I didn’t tell you because even I don’t believe it.” Truth. Easy peasy.
“So, it’s not serious yet?” Kate asks, and I’m relieved to have dodged a bullet. I nod, unable to look them in the eye.
“Exactly.” I turn to Bon and say, “I hope you understand my reluctance. I’m sure you’re aware of your brother’s reputation and way of life.”
“That’s exactly why I’m wondering how this happened. It may not be serious for you, but this is the most serious my brother has gone. I heard his longest relationship was just hours. You’re already…” Bon stops to think. “A lot more hours ahead.”
We all laugh at Bon’s attempt to make a point. “Wow, that’s... a real confidence booster,” I reply sarcastically.
“I’m just saying,” Bon continues, “Kuya Josh isn’t exactly known for his ability to commit. So if he’s sticking around, it must mean something.”
I bite my lip, trying to keep my cool. “Maybe he just likes a challenge.”
Bon snorts. “Well, you are really challenging right now.” There’s a hint of frustration in her voice. And I get it.
I shift in my seat, suddenly aware of their scrutiny. “Look, I’m really sorry, Bon. I didn’t plan for this to happen, I swear.”
She’s still giving me that look. Like she’s convincing herself to let me off the hook. “I’m still a bit annoyed at you, you know? But I also really miss you and I want to make the most of the ten days you’re here. So, Em, just please let me understand. Why Kuya?”
I sigh. “Okay, do you need more convincing?” I ask, and she shrugs with a resounding duh . “You know how I was with Rob, right? We were… proper. Mechanical. Bland. Everything was methodical, and he’s so, so serious about everything.”
“Oh yeah,” Haley interjects, a mischievous glint in her eye. “You guys were the vanilla-est couple I’ve ever seen. Like, no offense, but Rob was just... there.”
I can’t help but laugh, shaking my head. “Exactly. But with Josh… I don’t know.” I pause, searching for the right words, my voice softening. I look at Bon and say, “With him, I’m... free. I’m confident. I feel safe.”
The words surprise me as they come out, a little too honest for something that’s supposed to be fake. But they’re true, and I feel them settle in the air between us.
Bon studies me, her expression softening. “When you put it that way…” She reaches over, placing a hand on my lap. “I will try my best to be happy for you both. Truly. And honestly? I think you’re probably the best thing to ever happen to him. You’ve probably made Kuya a much better person already.”
I just smile. Everything feels suffocating. I glance at Kate, hoping for a change in the conversation, but she just gives me a knowing smile. “Whatever it is, we’re here for you,” she says. “Even if it’s complicated.”
“Especially if it’s complicated. It’s where we thrive,” Haley chimes in, throwing me a wink. She pours more wine into all our glasses, the liquid shining under the dim light of my room. “Here’s to complicated men and even more complicated relationships,” she adds, raising her glass high.
Kate raises hers too and, with a playful smirk, says, “May they uncomplicate themselves in the future.”
We clink our glasses, the sound punctuated by laughter. Bon, in typical fashion, manages to spill wine on her pajamas as she clinks a little too hard. “Oh, for crying out loud,” she groans, wiping at the stain. “Why does this always happen to me?”
“You’re a walking disaster,” Haley teases, tossing her a napkin. “Good luck with your wedding dress.”
“That is why we will be drinking champagne at the wedding,” Bon says.
Before the laughter dies down, Haley fixes me with a mischievous look, her head tilting as she grabs another chip. “So tell us. We’re all dying to know…” She draws out her words, her grin widening. “How’s Joshua? Is he, you know… good in–”
“Okay, no. Stop right there!” Bon interrupts, throwing her hands up with a visible shudder. “We absolutely do not want to know that.” She glances at me, though, her eyebrows arching in curiosity. “But…” She trails off dramatically, her grin returning. “Have you already?”
I roll my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m not answering that.”
It’s not like Joshua and I have done anything—nothing remotely close. But for some reason, just outright saying no feels strange. Like it might invite more questions I’m not ready to answer. Not that the thought hasn’t crossed my mind. I shake my head, willing the heat in my cheeks to fade.
“Oh, come on!” Kate pipes up, leaning forward to nudge me with her foot, her expression both amused and insistent. Bon grabs a pillow and throws it at me, scrunching her nose in mock disgust.
“Next question!” I say firmly, catching the pillow mid-air and tossing it back at Bon. “Seriously, enough about me. What about you guys? How are you?”
They all exchange glances, but ultimately decide to let me off the hook. Crisis averted , at least for now.
We spend the next few hours talking about everything but me—Kate’s preschool stories and her dream to put up a bakery someday, Haley’s newest theater gig, Bon’s wedding plans. I feel a pang of guilt as my lies pile up. Not just about Joshua, but about my job too. I’ve kept so much from them. But thankfully, my career doesn’t spring up too much, and I do my best to steer the conversation whenever it starts veering in that direction.
For a while, everything is okay. I’m with my best friends, in the room where we spent countless nights talking about our dreams. It’s like we’re eighteen again. Usually, it’s only a matter of time before someone suggests something ridiculous—like the time we got flower tattoos the summer before college. A rose for me, a lavender for Kate, a lotus for Haley, and a sunflower for Bon.
Now, after a few more glasses of wine and rounds of reminiscing, we’re all curled up in my bed, limbs tangled and blankets thrown haphazardly. They fall asleep instantly while I’m left wide awake, my ruined body clock refusing to let me sleep. I stay here for a bit, staring at the ceiling. The quiet should be comforting, but it instead leaves too much space for my mind to roam. And every time my mind roams, it goes to terrible places. Like the mind equivalent of a pet graveyard.
I’ve only been here for hours, but I’m already exhausted from all the lying. It’s like I’m stuck in two worlds. One where I have a hot boyfriend and an impressive career, and the other one being reality. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I suddenly want to spend time with the only person who’s in this charade with me. The only person who has escaped reality with me.
So, before I can overthink it, I fire a quick text to Joshua, hoping his body clock is as messed up as mine.