CHAPTER THIRTY Joshua
CHAPTER THIRTY
Joshua
T his is the third time I’ve attempted to brush nonexistent dirt off my pants. While setting up the tent, it didn’t occur to me that Emily and I would sleep together—I mean, sleep beside each other. And earlier, when the guys returned here, I stayed back to check the space of the tent, and, well, it’s small. Really small. So small that it’s impossible for us not to bump into each other.
Normally, this wouldn’t bother me. In fact, I thrive in situations like these. But now, after everything that happened with her, I can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that we’ll be sharing a tent together. My mind keeps wandering back to the way she looked earlier, her cheeks flushed, hair tousled from the hike, that little spark in her eyes every time she laughs. Shit, this will not be good for me.
But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a strange kind of excitement about it. Like something big is about to happen.
I can’t make this more awkward than it already is, so I stride over to Emily and take a seat with her. Our chairs are limited, so the couples are sharing seats. Bon is on Ryan’s lap, whispering something as he laughs. Denise and Rob, however, look like they’re barely managing to tolerate the shared space; Rob’s sitting stiffly, his arm awkwardly slung around Denise’s shoulders, trying to look relaxed but failing miserably. Emily told me that he isn’t the biggest fan of public displays of affection.
“Hey,” Emily says as I reach her. “Come here.” She extends her hand.
The way she says it—soft and inviting—pulls me in without a second thought. I take her hand and settle beside her, squeezing into the small camping chair. We shift and adjust, awkwardly bumping elbows and knees as we try to make it work.
After a minute of fumbling, she huffs and mutters, “Oh, screw this.” Before I know it, she stands up, then sinks down on my lap as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.
Just like that, any walls I’ve managed to keep up start shaking. Yesterday, I could feel them cracking around her, but right now, it’s like a full-on earthquake, tearing down everything I thought I’d managed to keep under control.
“Is this okay?” she asks, her voice soft, a little unsure. Her eyes search mine, and for once, I can’t seem to find anything clever or witty to say. All I can do is nod.
Usually, I’d make a joke right about now, something light to keep things easy, maybe flirt a little. But looking at her now, watching the way she studies me with those soft eyes, it’s not funny anymore.
When it’s getting late and everyone is finished eating, Kate stands up. “I’m sorry, I want to see the sunrise, and I can’t do it without enough sleep.” She proceeds to go to their tent, and it isn’t long before everyone else decides it’s time to rest.
One by one, they all stand up, and Emily and I are left alone here, the tension louder than the rustle of the leaves and the gust of the wind.
“So, um,” Emily says as she stands up and fixes her scarf. “Are you… mad at me?”
“What?” I ask, incredulous. “Why would you think that?”
“You’ve been awfully quiet, and you didn’t even make a single remark about our sleeping arrangement,” she says. She pauses, twisting the end of her scarf between her fingers. “If it makes you uncomfortable, I can trade with Richard.”
I reach out, gently catching her hand before she can pull further away. “Emily,” I say, letting her name settle in the air between us. “I’m quiet because ever since I found out I’d be sleeping beside you tonight, I haven’t been able to think about anything else.”
Her eyes soften, searching mine, and I feel my pulse quicken under her gaze. The dim light casts soft shadows over her face, her cheeks touched with a hint of color, maybe from the cold, maybe from something else. And here, under the vastness of the stars, she’s even more beautiful than ever.
She takes a small, tentative step closer. “I didn’t know it had that effect on you too,” she whispers, her voice barely audible.
“It does,” I say. “So please, don’t trade with Richard. That would be an awful downgrade.” I chuckle. Even I am surprised by my honesty, and how easy it is to admit to her that I’m flustered by what’s about to happen. She smiles and we walk toward our shared tent.
Emily enters the tent, and I follow suit. Somehow, it feels even smaller than it looked from the outside, with the walls sloping inward, creating a cozy, almost intimate space. There are no sleeping bags—just the soft, padded flooring lined with thermal insulation to keep us warm through the night.
She sits down on the floor and removes her bonnet, scarf, and one other layer. “Finally, warmth,” she says. She still has a sweater on and a shirt underneath.
It’s too warm for me, but she’s too comfortable so I don’t say anything, except I remove my jackets so I’m left with a t-shirt. She massages her feet and legs through her socks.
“I can’t imagine doing all that again tomorrow,” she says.
A comfortable silence settles between us as she stretches her legs out, and I can’t help but glance down at her hands, wondering if she’d let me take over and give her a little break. I take a breath, and before I can second-guess it, I reach over and say, “You know, I’m a really good foot rub giver.”
“Really? Do you have, like, a long list of women to prove your point?” she says. Well, that backfired.
I chuckle. “Okay, fine. I’ve never done this before.”
“Oh, so I’m your first?” she teases, leaning back with a playful glint in her eyes, making my heartbeat quicken. She extends her feet over to me.
“Guess you are.” I lift her foot gently, pressing my thumbs into her arch, trying to mirror what she was doing. Her gaze softens, and as I work in silence, she lets out the softest moan, closing her eyes and relaxing a little more with each movement of my hands. This is not helping, why am I doing this?
“You’re not… terrible,” she murmurs, eyes still closed, a hint of a smile playing at her lips.
I laugh softly, hiding the nerves beneath it. “Thanks, I guess?”
“My last foot massage was months ago,” Emily says. “When I… quit my job. I thought I needed the pick-me-up.”
Emily pulls her feet away, saying she feels better now.
“If you don’t mind me asking, why did you quit? I’ve always been curious,” I say.
“Let’s just say Wall Street’s got its share of predators who think ‘boundaries’ are just suggestions.” She looks down, fidgeting her fingers.
A quiet anger starts to build in my chest. It shouldn’t have been like this for her. The thought of anyone making her feel unsafe—making her choose between her job and her dignity—tightens something inside me.
“That’s not fair,” I say. “You’re exceptional at what you do. A bunch of dumbasses don’t get to decide what your future should be.”
“Tell that to the guys at Titan,” she chuckles.
“Wait, did you say Titan? Titan Financial Group?” I ask, wide-eyed.
“Yeah, you’re familiar?” she asks.
“That’s where we outsource our accounting,” I say, trying to remember the last time I was in a financial report meeting. “I think the guy assigned to us is… Ben? Ben Davids?”
Emily’s eyes widen. Then tears are forming in her eyes.
“Em?” I ask as she wipes a tear off her cheek.
She shakes her head, her breath catching as she lets out a frustrated sigh. “Sorry, I—just… he’s… ugh.” She slumps back, her knees pulling up to her chest, her hands covering her face as if to hide from me, from the memory.
Without thinking, I move closer, sitting beside her on the floor, the soft fabric of the tent pressing against my back. I don’t want to crowd her, but I can’t stand seeing her like this. When she takes her hands off her face, she meets my gaze, her eyes heavy with unshed tears. “He’s a terrible person,” she says, voice breaking.
I put my hand on her knee, grounding her, my own anger simmering beneath the surface. “Do you want to talk about it?” I ask gently, my voice soft but steady.
She hesitates, looking down at her hands for a long moment. I see the conflict in her eyes, the uncertainty about whether or not to open up. I expect her to decline, to ask me to help her forget and escape, like she always does. But after what feels like an eternity, she finally nods, her voice barely above a whisper. “Yeah, I do.”
“Okay, before anything else, consider it done,” I say.
“What?”
“I won’t be working with Ben, he’s off our accounts. I can’t work with anyone who has caused you pain, Emily.”
“You’d do that for me?” She looks up with a smile.
“I honestly think that there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”