CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT Emily
Frank agreed to move me to part-time while I sort out the business registrations with Claire and wait for my visa sponsorship to finalize. It gives me the breathing room I desperately need.
It’s been weeks since I last saw Joshua. And to be honest, I’ve been trying to keep my distance. It’s like I’m starting to guard my heart again. I don’t know why, but it’s like a default move for me.I’m burying myself with all the distractions just so I won’t think about him. None of it works, by the way.
I finish the coffee order and walk toward the counter. “One latte for…” I squint at the name scribbled on the cup and feel a familiar pang of irritation. “Phil McGroin,” I mutter, barely above a whisper, cheeks heating in annoyance.
No one is claiming this stupid coffee, so I call out again. “Phil? Phil McGroin?” Ugh.
I scan the surroundings, already convinced that I should just throw this shit away. But then my eyes flicker to someone at the far end of the room.
There, leaning on the wall with a smirk on his face, is Joshua.
A laugh breaks the tension as he walks toward me, his grin as smug as ever. “You promised to put it on the house when I ordered that,” he says, snatching the coffee from my hand.
For a moment, I’m speechless. It’s like he read my mind and showed up before I had the chance to do the same to him.
“Hi,” I say, exasperated, trying not to smile.
“Hi,” he replies, his voice warmer, softer than his usual teasing tone. “Do you have a minute?”
I hesitate, glancing at the trickle of customers, then nod. “Sure.”
I follow him to the back entrance, where I met him during my tantrum session.
He takes a bouquet of red roses off the table, and hands it to me. “For you, Tantrum,” he says.
I blink, caught between surprise and disbelief, before taking the bouquet. The soft petals brush against my fingertips as I say, “Never pegged you for a flower-giving kind of guy.”
“I’m quite full of surprises,” he counters.
I laugh. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m wrapping up this site,” he says, gesturing to the construction beside us. “Also, I really need a new accountant.”
I chuckle. “We’re almost finished with the registrations. Would you like to be our client?”
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
There’s a beat of silence before he shifts, his usual playful demeanor giving way to something quieter.
“But that’s not the only reason I’m here,” he says, his eyes meeting mine.
I tilt my head, crossing my arms. “What else?”
“I…” He falters, chuckling nervously and rubbing the back of his neck. “I really needed a coffee fix.”
I roll my eyes, about to retort when he cuts me off. “Kidding. I’m here because…” He takes a deep breath, his gaze darting around the alley before finally landing on me.
“Joshua?” I prompt, my heart inexplicably starting to race.
He takes a deep breath, his eyes scanning the room before landing back on me. “Right. Um…” His brow furrows as he struggles to find the words, the normally confident Joshua suddenly looking like a boy about to confess something heavy. “Sorry. I’ve never really done this before.”
I arch an eyebrow. “Done what exactly?”
“Confess,” he blurts out.
I can’t help but snort. “Oh my god, Joshua, where did you hide the body?”
His expression shifts from nervous to amused, a small laugh escaping him. “Ha ha, very funny. I’m not confessing to a murder, though honestly, that might be easier.”
“Then what are you confessing to?” I ask, my heart pounding in my chest, even though I try to keep my tone light.
He swallows hard, his gaze never leaving mine. “I’m trying to confess… that I’ve fallen in love with you.”
The words hang in the air, and for a second, I forget to breathe. My stomach flips, and a wave of heat rushes through me. I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Finally, I manage, “Go on, then.”
Joshua exhales slowly, stepping closer, his presence consuming the space around me. “The past few days you spent at my apartment… those were the best days of my life. I’m not exaggerating,” he says, his voice steady but filled with emotion. “And the days before that, the ones we spent back home, those were the next best days. Honestly, the only day that even comes close was the day I kissed you for the first time.”
His eyes lock with mine as he takes another step closer, closing the small distance between us. My pulse races as his warmth washes over me. “The bottom line, Emily,” he says, his voice low and earnest, “Is that all the best days of my life… were the ones I’ve spent with you.”
My throat tightens, and I feel tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. I’ve imagined this moment in a hundred different ways, but nothing could have prepared me for the real thing—for the raw honesty in his voice or the way he’s looking at me, like I’m the only thing that matters.
“If you still need a moment to figure out your own thoughts, I won’t stop you,” he continues, his hand reaching out to gently brush my arm, “I’m just saying… I know what I feel for you. And I know it’s not casual, or temporary, or something I’m just going to get over.”
My breath catches, and for a second, I forget how to respond. The vulnerability in his eyes is staggering, and it makes me feel seen in a way that’s both comforting and terrifying.
“I…” I start, my voice shaking. “I don’t really need anyone in my life right now,” I admit, my heart aching with the truth of it. I’ve spent so long trying to be strong on my own, convincing myself I didn’t need anyone.
“I know you don’t.” Joshua’s expression softens, his hands finding mine. “Which is why I’m not asking you to need me, Emily,” he says quietly, his thumbs tracing gentle circles over my knuckles. “I’m asking you to want me.”
He lifts my hands to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to each one; the gesture so tender it sends a shiver down my spine. “I’m asking you to choose me. To want to be with me, just as I want to be with you. But even if you don’t… even if you choose not to, I’ll respect that. I’ll walk away.”
“What about the mess? The uncertainty? The risk?”
Joshua takes a step closer, his eyes intense, filled with a kind of certainty I’ve never seen before. “All worth it,” he says firmly. “If it becomes messy, I’ll clean it up. If it’s uncertain, we’ll figure it out together. And I’d take every single risk a hundred times over if it means I get to be with you.”
His voice wavers as he continues, his vulnerability laid bare. “You changed me, Emily. In a way I never thought possible. I didn’t even realize how empty my life felt until you came into it. And I just... I…” he stammers. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and holds my face in his hand. “I love you,” he finally says. “I love you so much that I can’t sleep at night. And when I do sleep, it’s you I see in my dreams.”
He pauses, running a shaky hand through his hair, his chest rising and falling with the weight of his confession. “I’m consumed by thoughts of you, even when I tried to push them away. And believe me, I tried. But it’s impossible to ignore it, Em. For the first time in my life, I let myself feel something real. I let myself follow where my heart wanted to go, and it led me here.”
Tears sting my eyes, and I try to blink them away, but it’s no use. They spill over, trailing down my cheeks as his words break something open inside me. Joshua’s thumb brushes against my cheek, wiping the tears away, and the warmth of his touch makes me tremble.
His voice cracks slightly, but he steadies himself, looking at me with a depth of emotion that shakes me to my core. “I just needed you to know how I feel. Because if there’s even a part of you that feels the same, I’m willing to give everything I have to make this work.”
I’m crying openly now, the flood of emotions too much to contain. He doesn’t try to stop me, doesn’t ask for anything more than what I’m willing to give. Instead, he just holds my hands, grounding me in the moment, and letting me feel everything without expectation or pressure.
For a long moment, neither of us speaks. The air between us hums with everything unsaid, with all the possibilities stretching out before us. And when I finally find my voice, it’s barely more than a whisper. “Joshua… you’re the first person who’s ever made me feel like I could let my guard down.”
His eyes soften at my words, the depth of his feelings so clear in the way he looks at me. “Then let it down, Em,” he says quietly, his grip on my hands tightening just slightly, like he’s afraid to let go. “Let it down, and let me in.”
We’re still holding hands, and I look up at him through tear-stained lashes, a small smile forming despite the rush of emotions swirling inside me. His presence grounds me, makes the room feel smaller, warmer, safer.
“Let me be there for you,” he continues, his voice deep and steady. “With you,” he adds, leaning in closer, his lips brushing against my forehead before pulling back with a cheeky grin. “On you… under you…”
I laugh, rolling my eyes at his playful wink. “ There’s my Joshua. I was wondering where the cocky flirt went.”
He chuckles. “ Your Joshua is everything you want him to be. The cocky flirt is always there. But this time you also get the boyfriend, it’s my first time meeting him too. He seems kinda cool.”
“Yeah, he does,” I laugh between tears. “I heard he gives a really good foot rub.”
Joshua laughs. “Lucky you, then.”
He runs a hand over his face, and I notice something new. “Is that a new tattoo?” I ask, pointing to his hand.
“Oh, yeah,” he says. His hand is covered with a rose. “Told you,” he continues. “Thoughts of you consumed me.”
I set the bouquet down, and hold his hand in mine as I let the tears fall. “Well,” I start. “I love you too, Joshua,” I say. “I’ve denied it plenty of times. I’ve resisted it harder than I’ve ever resisted anything before. But there’s something inside me that knows I want to be with you. And that something gets bigger and bigger everyday. And I’m also done pretending.” I lean forward to hug him, and he hugs me back, as he plants a soft kiss on the top of my head.
I look up. “Do you even know why I’m wearing your hoodie?” I ask, gesturing to what I’m wearing. I’m not really a hoodie type of person, but I’m wearing it under the apron.
“Why?”
“Because I miss you, and it’s the closest thing I have to feel you. Absurd, I know,” I chuckle.
“Not as absurd as me saving all your photos from Bon’s wedding just so I can see your face.”
“We’re absurd people.”
“Absurd people in love,” he counters. Joshua leans closer and I move my hands to the back of his head.
“That’s the best kind of people,” I say, as he closes the gap between us.
His lips meet mine, soft and warm. His hands settle on my waist, firm but gentle, pulling me closer as if he can’t bear even an inch of space between us. I smile against his lips, the happiness bubbling up inside me impossible to contain. It’s not just the kiss. It’s what it means. What it’s always meant.
Because, wow, I love this man. So much.
And it feels freeing—no, liberating—to finally admit that. To kiss him not out of temptation, not out of pretense, but because I’m in love with him. And he loves me, too.
His lips linger, as if savoring the moment, and I can’t help but deepen the kiss, pouring everything I feel into it. When we finally pull apart, his forehead rests against mine, his breath mingling with mine, and I can see the same emotions reflected in his eyes.
As I stand here, still reeling from the kiss, I realize something monumental: I’ll never be homesick again. Not because I’ve found a magical cure for nostalgia, but because I’ve come to understand that home isn’t tied to a single place—it isn’t just Magnolia Heights with its quiet, familiar streets or the bustling chaos of Manila.
Home is my friends, the ones who know me better than I know myself, the ones who saw me through good times and bad. The ones whose laughter is a balm, and whose love is a steady anchor no matter where I go.
Home is my family, the people who have shaped me in a thousand tiny ways I never noticed until now. It’s my sister, whose quiet victories make me feel like I’m winning too, and my mother, whose happiness means mine. They are my constant, even when life pulls us in different directions. And it’s my dad—gone too soon, but never really gone. His love lingers, sneaking into the cracks of my days, like sunlight through a window I forgot to close.
And now, home is Joshua. He’s home in a way I never expected. He’s warm socks on a winter’s night, the calm in the storm, the snort-worthy punchline when life weighs me down. He’s reliability in a world that’s often anything but. Whether it’s in Manila or New York, as long as I can lose myself in his eyes, clutch his hands like they’re my lifeline, and feel his arms wrap securely around me, I’ll know I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.
Most importantly—and this part took me a while to figure out—home is me . It’s the strength I’ve built through every heartbreak, every challenge, every victory. It’s the laughter I’ve found within me, the quiet moments of self-acceptance, and the bold courage to dream beyond what I thought was possible.
So no matter where life takes me, whether it’s a sleepy small town or the noisy city that never sleeps, I’ll always carry home with me. Because home isn’t a place. It’s the people you love, the memories you treasure, and the self you’ve worked so damn hard to embrace.
And right now, standing here with a goofy grin on my face and Joshua’s kiss still tingling on my lips, I know one thing for sure: wherever I go, I’m already home.