Chapter Fifteen
We'll Work This Out Somehow
Ender
“I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
No matter how many times I’ve read that text in the past twenty-four hours, it still doesn’t make sense to me.
If he hurt me? How could he think he didn’t hurt me?
How did he think I’d feel watching him hitting on someone else right after he fucked me for the first time?
The only people who know I saw him with that guy are Kaden and Connor, unless Kaden told Luke—and that seems highly likely at this point.
“Ender, will you please come tonight? You know it’s not the same without you.” Connor is so persistent. “Maybe he won’t be there. Even if he is, it doesn’t mean you have to talk to him.”
“I’m not going.”
“You can’t get stuck in a depression hole, babe. You’ll have to rejoin the living at some point—might as well start now.” He knows how I get when someone disappoints me. It’s the reason I never let anyone get too close.
I know he means well, but it’s been less than forty-eight hours since…whatever the hell that was.
“Fair warning, I won’t take no for an answer next time.” He hits me with his ‘I mean it’ face, which means there’s no way I’m getting out of it.
With a huff, I give him the answer he’s looking for. “Fine, you win. Next time.”
We've been meeting at The Garden every week since Lanie's birthday. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t be going ever again, but I know Connor won’t let that happen. At least I can pretend Gabe doesn’t exist for tonight— yeah, right.
Gabe
He didn’t come tonight.
I thought Connor would be able to convince him, but he said Ender wouldn’t budge. Now everyone is walking on eggshells around me, afraid to mention him.
“Going for a beer, be back in a minute.” The only way I’ll be able to tolerate this night is by getting blind drunk.
I can feel someone on my heels as I walk to the bar. I flag the bartender down and see Kaden out of the corner of my eye standing right next to me—Luke has rubbed off on him.
“You don’t have to hide from us, Gabe. We can see you care about him.”
This is not what I need right now. “I don’t want to talk about this, Kaden.”
“He thinks you were hitting on some guy.” Wait, what?
Quick as lightning, I spin around to face him. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Listen, I don’t usually tell my friend’s business to just anyone, but he likes you… a lot.” His words aren’t very reassuring, given Ender hasn’t answered any of my texts or calls in the past forty-eight hours.
“Kaden, just tell me what happened.” I can see the struggle in his demeanor. “Please.”
“When he came out of the restroom at the club, he saw you with some guy. He had his hands on your hips and a huge smile on his face while you were talking to him. He said you were whispering in his ear or something like that.”
I feel the weight of a Mack truck crashing into me, remembering that asshole who wouldn’t stop hitting on me while I was looking for Ender.
By the third time he ignored my polite warning to keep his hands to himself, I had had enough.
I can only imagine what Ender felt like thinking I was hitting on him after what we had just done. “Fuck.”
“Yeah.” Kaden’s sympathetic tone doesn’t calm me at all. “Like I said, he likes you a lot, Gabe. And that fucked with his head more than you can imagine.” His eyes are saying more than his words do.
I silently plead with him for any clue as to what I’m dealing with here.
“Goddesses, I feel like I’m betraying my friend, but Luke and I both feel your intentions are good—and he knows you better than anyone else.
” Every damn pause has me wanting to throw Kaden over the balcony on the other side of the room.
“Ender has really deep abandonment issues. The result of shitty parents, to put it politely.”
“So, he thinks I fucked him and walked away to hit on someone else.” Kaden doesn’t seem surprised by my confession. “I wasn’t hitting on that guy, Kaden.” I sigh, then tell him the entire story of how I seemingly wound up in the arms of some random asshole in the club.
“Thanks for explaining, but I already figured it wasn’t what it appeared to be.
I trust Luke’s judgment of character, and he’s always told me what a stand-up guy you are—even though you are—were—the typical bachelor.
” His quip doesn’t hit as it should in my current state of panic.
“Ender doesn’t get close to anyone. He thinks we don’t know that he never dates—like ever. ”
My brain runs in circles trying to put the pieces together of every moment we’ve spent together. Every conversation, every text message, every reaction to my touch—and little by little, things are starting to make more sense.
“The fact that he’s let you get this close to him already speaks volumes.”
The hurt I’ve caused him must be ten times worse than what I’ve felt the past couple of days.
“If you like him as much as I think you do, then be patient with him. Don’t give up. He’ll come around once he sees you’re the real deal.” His hand on my shoulder relaxes me the slightest bit—no one knows Ender better than Kaden and Connor.
“Thanks, Kaden. I appreciate you.”
Of course, his boyfriend interrupts our hug, that’s more for me than Kaden. I swear, he can sense from across the room if someone even looks at Kaden the wrong way and rushes over to mark his territory.
“Hands off the merchandise, brother.” Luke physically takes an amused Kaden from my arms, no doubt to disappear together for their typical shenanigans when we all go out.
Instead of heading back to our group, I walked toward the door, taking a minute to gather myself in the car before I make a rash decision.
The emotional side of me wants to run full speed to explain to Ender what really happened and beg for his forgiveness, while the rational side knows that won’t work at this moment. Instead, I settle on a simple promise.
Whether you believe it or not, you’re a great guy, and worth fighting for. I’m not going anywhere. When you’re ready to talk, I’ll be right here.