Chapter Nineteen
I'm Shoved Into Reality
Gabe
“What the hell has you humming like your dad?” Luke appears suddenly in the doorway of the office. “You’ve never done that before. You used to hate it.”
“I didn’t realize I was humming.” I play dumb, not even looking up from the computer.
“Sure, you didn’t.” I fight the smile that’s trying to form on my face, but he knows me too well to let me get away with it. “I’m assuming this has to do with Ender meeting Mom and Dad?”
Since I didn’t call him when I got home from my parents’ house last night, he sits on the edge of my desk and frames his assumption as a question.
Ender was quiet for most of the ride home, and I couldn’t get enough of how clingy he was once we got inside my house. After a PG-rated shower, I fell asleep watching some reality show with him stuck to my side. It felt nice—domestic—and I didn’t hate it. Not even a little bit.
“Yep. Mom and Dad loved him. I think he liked them too. We didn’t talk much about it afterward, but he laughed a lot at Dad’s jokes. So, I guess that’s a good sign, right?”
“Ender laughed?” he asks with slight disbelief in his voice.
“Yeah. Don’t sound so shocked. Ender isn’t as broody as everyone thinks he is. You just have to give him something to be happy about.”
While I continue working, Luke quietly watches over me for longer than I’m comfortable with.
“Dude, stop being creepy. I’m trying to work here.”
“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”
My fingers freeze on the keyboard, and the pitter-pattering in my chest makes it hard to breathe.
“Yeah, you don’t need to answer. The fact that you had to think about it for even a second tells me all I need to know,” Luke says, chuckling as he turns and walks out the door, leaving me alone with that revelation.
Love?
I’ve never been one to overanalyze anything, but that is exactly what I’ve been doing the entire week since Luke made me realize I am, in fact, in love with Ender. Except, that’s not what I’ve been struggling with—how the fuck am I supposed to tell him without scaring him away?
When he left early this morning, I had to stop myself from telling him after I kissed him goodbye.
Before I knew it, I opened my mouth to say those three simple words, and my adrenaline spiked.
Instead, I blurted out that I’m planning a redo of our rage room date, just to distract him from the panicked look that I’m sure was on my face.
My phone starts to chime like a pinball machine, pulling me out of my thoughts. I huff and roll over to grab it off the nightstand.
Connor
GABE! Hi.
Kaden
Oh geez. What are you doing, Connor?
Connor
What do you meeeaannnn? I told you I was going to talk to Gabe.
Kaden
Yes, but I thought you meant tonight at The Garden.
Connor
Kaden…how am I supposed to talk to him with Ender right there? You’re supposed to be the smart one here.
Luke
He’s not wrong, Angel. Ender would know something was up if Connor and Gabe disappeared.
Faith
Why are you people waking me up so fucking early? I don’t have to be at the salon for another three hours. You know I need my full eight hours or I get cranky.
Connor
Well, if that’s true I guess you haven’t slept since 2015. *face blowing kiss emoji*
Faith has left the conversation.
Connor has added Faith to the conversation.
Connor
Stop being cranky for five minutes!
Faith
*middle finger emoji*
Can someone please tell me what’s going on?
Lanie
*man eating popcorn GIF*
Connor
Lanie, it’s too early for popcorn. Put it down.
I feel like I’m being punked at this point.
Someone…anyone… *face with spiral eyes emoji*
Luke
FFS. Connor wants to know if you have anything planned for Ender’s birthday.
What do you mean? His birthday was months ago.
Faith
*shit just got interesting GIF*
Can someone tell me WTF is going on?
Kaden
Gabe, what date did Ender tell you was his birthday?
February 25th
Lanie
Whoa
Connor
Told you so. Pay up, Kaden! *money with wings emoji*
Kaden
Not now Connor
Gabe, we’ve celebrated Ender’s birthday on June 8th for the past ten years.
It only takes me a few seconds to understand what Kaden is telling me.
The day he changed his name…
Kaden
Yeah
Lanie
Awwwwww you’re his lobster!
Faith
*face with rolling eyes emoji*
Kaden
He doesn’t tell anyone his former birthdate.
I must look like the Joker with how big the smile on my face feels.
Connor
Okay, now that we’ve established Ender is in love with Gabe, can we get back to planning his birthday?
Ender loves me?
Kaden
Chill, Connor.
I got it covered. I’ll send the invites out by Friday. See you all tonight.
I put my phone back on the nightstand, ignoring the chimes that continue until they slowly die down.
He loves me?
His best friends know him better than anyone, so it has to be true—right?
I want to pick apart every detail of our recent time spent together, but I can’t at the moment.
I need to come up with a game plan to make sure his first birthday with me is special—and I have the perfect person to help plan it.
We were so busy planning the event—because there’s no such thing as just a party when my mother gets involved—that I was late getting home to get ready to meet everyone at the bar.
Ender said he’d ride with Connor and meet me there, but I feel like a crazed lunatic when my eyes dart through the crowd looking for him as soon as I walk through the door.
I spot him in a back corner of the main room with the gang.
A smile plays on his lips, threatening to rip the beating heart from my chest just so it could be near him at all times.
As I close the distance between us, his gaze meets mine.
The softness that warms his face steals my breath away—he’s perfection personified.
I faintly hear the gasps behind me when I crash into Ender, pinning him against the wall, while my lips devour him as if this kiss were the only way to stay alive.
His hands find their way under the hem of my shirt—the firmness and warmth of his skin on mine feeling like the sun has wrapped itself around me.
I’m so lost in him—until he grunts, and I realize my hand has found its way to his scalp.
I capture his lower lip between my teeth as I pull away from him.
“Fuck…sorry, Bean.”
“What are you sorry for?” he says with a devilish grin. “Do it again.”
I give him one more hard tug—how could I not?—and watch his lashes flutter while he moans softly against my lips.
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Why is everyone so goddamn horny in this group?” Faith’s voice breaks the spell I’ve been under since I laid eyes on Ender.
“Zip it, Faith. Leave the lovebirds alone.” For once, Connor is the voice of reason, until I see the expression on Ender’s face. He looks almost…scared?
With one last peck on his lips, I clear my throat and turn toward our friends. “Hey, everyone. Sorry,” I say with a sheepish smile as Luke hands me a beer.
“Don’t be sorry. I’d be on him like white on rice too if I was in lo—” Kaden elbows Connor in the ribs, cutting him off. “Owww, what the fuck?”
Our friends join Kaden in chuckling over Connor’s antics—except Ender, who’s staring blankly across the room, suddenly interested in anything other than me.
I wrap my arm around his lower back and rest my hand on his hipbone, giving it a gentle squeeze.
He quickly gives me a one-sided smile and looks away.
After our second beer, I can tell Ender is still out of sorts.
I try to give him a sliver of reassurance with a light kiss near his hairline that I know he loves.
The swell of his chest and hooded eyelids every time my lips touch his temple stir emotions inside me that I didn’t even know existed until I met him.
“I’m going to get us shots. Be right back,” Ender says before he rushes off to the bar alone. I watch him walk away, debating whether to follow him, until Connor mentions the birthday party.
“If you need any help with planning, just let me know.” Connor starts to ramble off a slew of ideas he has to make the party ‘memorable.’ I’m only half listening since I’m too busy watching Ender nervously fidget while he waits for the bartender.
Connor notices and says, “Try not to worry too much. He’ll be okay.” Having never heard his serious tone before, I turn to listen as he continues. “He just needs to get used to someone other than us loving him.”
The tiny crack that Ender’s story made in my heart a few weeks ago just grew exponentially. When he makes his way back to us, I want to wrap my arms around him and tell him just how much he means to me—but I know I can’t. Not after his reaction to Connor’s remark.
The shot glasses are barely even empty before Connor excitedly asks me, “Gabe, do you have any cute brothers?”
“Nope, only child here. Sorry.” I shrug.
“How about a hot dad? I’m always down for an older man.” He steeples his fingers in anticipation.
I shake my head in disbelief. “My dad is a happily married, straight man.”
“Fine, I’ll allow it. Only because Ender said how sweet your mom has been to him.”
I slowly turn to Ender who’s watching the dance floor, oblivious to the conversation. I vaguely hear Faith drag away a protesting Connor as I step up behind Ender. “Are you having fun?” I whisper.
He leans into me, lolling his head back onto my shoulder. “You’re always worried about me having fun.”
“I can’t help it if you’ve made it my life’s goal to make you happy,” I say before my lips brush against his neck, my hands mindlessly finding his hips and pulling him in even closer.
“You can stop worrying. Goal accomplished,” he whispers breathlessly toward the ceiling.
I tremble with the mere thought of saying it—the words that I’ve never said to anyone before. At least not with the same gravity as they hold with Ender. But once said, you can’t take them back—and that scares the fuck out of me.
What if he doesn’t feel the same? What if he runs?
Those lingering thoughts make me bite my tongue.
When he breaks the silence, it’s to ask a question I’ve been waiting weeks to hear. “Can we go to the club again?”
I take his earlobe between my lips and suck, then release it quickly. “I thought you’d never ask.”
He hums while his palms land on my thighs, holding me tighter against him—both of us needing the connection. “Tell me what you want,” he says.
I hesitate—spellbound by the moment—then remember we had something important to discuss. “Well, there is that little debt you have to settle.”
His soft chuckle makes me smile. “I’ve been waiting for you to bring that up,” he says as he turns to face me, wrapping his arms around my neck. “And what exactly is the payment for losing our bet, Blue?”
I graze my tongue across his lips before pushing between them, his tongue joining mine in a sensual dance. I revel in the jolt of electricity it sends through my entire body before we come up for air.
He’s laser-focused on me when I say, “I want everyone there to watch me fuck you—hard. To watch you come all over yourself while screaming my name.” The hazel disappears from his eyes, replaced with lust as he sucks in a breath.
A small growl rises within me, loving how reactive his body is to my every word.
I lean into him, grazing my lips along his jaw and up to his ear to whisper, “When you come undone…for me.”
The softest whimper, meant for only my ears, has my dick twitching. I pull him into me, clutching him to my chest as I kiss him—hungry and fierce, aching with the desire to consume every single piece of him.