Chapter Twenty-Three
Familiar Faces and Unintentional Truths
Ender
I’ve been debating since last week whether I should go find my mother.
A part of me knows she needs help, that this wasn’t her fault to begin with, and I can’t seem to shake the feeling that there’s so much left unsaid.
It sounded dumb when I said it aloud to Gabe this morning, but I don’t think I can walk away without saying my piece.
Telling her what their words—and his fists—truly did to me.
I came to Camp North End early this morning to look for her, but it’s now noon and still no sign of where she could be.
I’ve walked the entire area for hours, and the chances of her still hanging around here are slim, but I had to try.
While I’m sitting here eating the beef bulgogi bowls Gabe was raving about all week before we came here, I see a familiar face approaching me.
“Can I sit with you?” Layla is polite and elegant as always.
“What are you doing here, Mrs. Williams?”
“Ender, what did I tell you about that?” Her smile is as beautiful as ever, and we both laugh at her playful scolding.
“Okay…Layla, what are you doing here?”
“Gabe told me you were here. I hope it’s okay I came to see you.” Her timid gaze is unfamiliar as her confidence only briefly wavers. “I’m assuming you haven’t found her yet?”
“No such luck.” I think twice about it and say, “Is that weird? That I wanted to see her? After everything she’s said and done.”
“It’s not.” Layla’s pensive for a moment, until she begins again. “It’s been thirty-five years, and I still look for my mother—except now, I’m only looking in the obituaries.”
I look up from my food, not fully understanding.
“Ender, we have a lot in common—more than you’d imagine.” She pauses, and I wait patiently, knowing from the distress written on her face that this must be hard on her. “Gabe told me a little about your past. Please don’t be upset with him—he was just worried about you coming here today.”
“I know. He begged me to let him come with me. I’m surprised he’s not hanging around the corner watching me.”
“Two blocks down on the left, waiting for my call.” She smiles at how ridiculously protective her son is of me.
“Of course he is.”
“My mother was a drug addict too.” She nods when my forehead creases. “Nine different foster homes.” She raises her hand. “My parents adopted me at sixteen.”
“Gabe didn’t tell me.”
“He doesn’t know all the details. I’ve told him all he needs to know.” We share a knowing look. “If ever the time comes that it’s necessary, he will be told everything about his grandmother.”
“And his grandfather?”
“Never met the man.” A wry expression quickly appears and is gone just as fast. “My mother worked hard to try to support us, but it wasn’t always legal work, if you know what I mean.
” I nodded, connecting the dots. “She fell into the lifestyle before I was even born—eventually leading to a heroin addiction—and she couldn’t stop either.
They took me from her just after my eleventh birthday, and I haven’t seen her since. ”
“I don’t mean to be rude, Layla, but if you haven’t told Gabe much about his grandmother, why are you sharing it with me?”
“We’re akin, Ender.” The gentle way her hands clasp mine reminds me of Mrs. A.
“Regardless of whether our parents meant what they said or did, it wasn’t our fault.
And no matter what they tried to make us believe.
..” Her voice breaks, and when she continues, a tear rolling down her cheek, I see just how lucky Gabe and Noah are to have her.
“We deserve to be loved—unconditionally.” She wipes the remnant of emotions from my face and says, “It’s okay to tell him how you feel. ”
“Geez, you too? Am I that obvious?” She nods as we chuckle.
Through the dull pain in my chest, I confess my biggest fear. “What if he leaves?”
“What if he doesn’t?” She raises her brows as she enunciates each word.
“Gabe is a good man—just like his father. And I see the way he looks at you.” She hits me with the ‘Are you kidding me?’ face and is quiet for a moment.
“Ender, every time my son even mentions you, he looks like he’d jump in front of a moving train, no questions asked, just to keep you safe. ”
I contemplate what she said, then compare it to what Kaden told me last week, and I know what I have to do.
“Thanks, Mrs. Wi—Layla. I appreciate you being here for me.”
“Of course. It’s what mothers-in-law are for, dear.” That same devious smile as her son’s, along with her signature wink, has me thinking having her as my mother-in-law doesn’t sound all that bad.
“Shall we go find our guy? If he doesn’t hear from me soon, he’s going to send a search party for you.” Layla’s eyes soften every time she speaks of her son—he’s truly a lucky man.
“Yeah. There’s nothing left for me here.” And just as the words cross my lips, I remember what they once meant to me—but this time, I know I’m not alone.
“Are you guys listening to me?” Connor gripes when he notices Kaden and me texting instead of hanging on his every word.
“Was he talking?” Kaden looks at me and smirks.
“I didn’t even know he was in the room,” I add along to the teasing, because sometimes he just deserves it.
“Whatever, you guys would be lost without me. Wait until I fall in love and start ignoring y’all like you do me.”
“You’re not that far behind there, buddy.” Kaden jokingly hints at the latest gossip, but I pretend I didn’t hear it. Connor’s business is his own.
He gives Kaden a stern look before changing the topic to me. “Did you tell Gabe how much you love him yet?”
I sigh deeply. “Connor, I already told you. I’ll tell him when it feels right.”
“Just don’t do it right after you suck his cock.
Everyone thinks they’re in love when they come.
” He waves a hand at me like this is common sense.
“Oh,” he says with as much seriousness as anyone could expect from him, “you should write it on his stomach with your cum! That way, if he doesn’t say it back, you can blame it on the sex and say you didn’t mean it. ”
“Connor, you’re absurd.” Kaden shakes his head. “Stop scaring him. Of course, Gabe loves him.”
And as if on cue, Gabe’s face appears on my phone. I answer as I walk toward the kitchen and grab a water bottle.
“Hey, babe.”
“Hey. What are you guys up to?” He sounds frustrated.
“Nothing, just hanging out. Lazy Sunday afternoon.”
He sighs. “I wish I were there.”
Me too. “What’s going on, Blue?”
“Half the staff got sick, so we had to call in the servers who were off duty tonight and make some changes to cover all positions. Not a big deal. We got it done.”
“Anything I can do?”
“Just hearing your voice is enough to make my day a little better.” My cheeks flush every time he says things like that to me now. “I do have to get going though. I’ll see you later?”
“Yeah, I’ll be over when you get home.”
“Okay, talk to you soon. Have fun.”
“We will. Love you.”
What the fuck?
It only takes me a second to blurt out, “Bye,” and tap the end button, not giving him a chance to respond.
“Did you just do what I think you did?” Kaden sounds about as shocked as I fell.
“Fuck! Why did I do that?”
“Which part? Telling him ‘I love you’ accidentally, or hanging up on him right after you told him you love him for the first time?” Connor’s playful tone is unwelcome right now. “Because either way, you’re fucked—and not in a good way.”
I give him the finger and drop onto the empty couch beside him. “Now what do I do?”
“Go to the restaurant. Talk to him.” Kaden, ever the reasonable one, sits down next to me. When we lock eyes, he nods and says, “You know I’m right. So, go now, before the dinner rush comes in.”
I waver for a mere second and then jump up, grabbing my keys. I’m in my car and driving toward Stonewood’s before I can even think of changing my mind. But when I walk in the front doors and head straight back to his and Luke’s shared office, the what-ifs hit me.
My hand hovers over the hardwood door, but I can’t seem to move. Not until the door swings open and I startle my Blue.
“What are you doing here, Bean?” he asks as he scoops me into a big hug, and I can breathe again.
And there goes my plan right out the window.