Chapter 50
Trinity
It had been one week.
One week since we’d started the timeout I had suggested.
It was the dumbest idea I’d ever come up with, even though my bones told me it was the right one for the time being.
My body physically suffered the consequences.
I couldn’t sleep. Had zero appetite, and the days on campus were excruciating when I had to see Preston at practice.
He was so close, yet so far away. We hadn’t spoken.
But he still texted me every single night. The same thing.
I need you to do something for me. Don’t give up on us.
My heart was heavy as I stared out at the Texas sunset. It dipped behind a set of gorgeous hills at the back of my dad’s ranch.
“Breathtaking, isn’t it?” A voice came from behind me.
My dad idled up next to me, handing me a cup of coffee.
“Thank you.” I smiled, taking the warm cup in my palms.
We had finished our Thanksgiving lunch earlier and spent the last couple of hours watching the twins play outside as me, him, Jodie, and her parents sat around the firepit.
At some point, I wandered away, my mind drifting to Preston and what he was doing today.
Was he visiting Ray with his sister? Was he cooking dinner at his house? Did he miss me as much as I missed him?
“I’ve never formally apologized, Trinity.”
I glanced up at the man who was turning out to be nothing like the man I’d pictured my entire life.
“I wasn’t always there for you like I should have been. I traveled a lot, and things with your mom…” He trailed off. “Let’s just say she didn’t make it easy.”
“Preaching to the choir, Dad,” I muttered before I took a sip.
He smiled, but it was weak. “I let my issues with her take me away from you. It was wrong. There is no excuse. I wasn’t a present father, and for that, you’ve suffered.”
“I won’t lie and say that most of my childhood I didn’t despise you. I did,” I admitted. “I was under the assumption you didn’t care about me. Most of those assumptions came from things Mom had told me, which I’ve learned were mostly untrue.”
The wind picked up, the sweep of the air brushing my hair from my shoulders.
“I don’t want our relationship to be built off of past assumptions.
” I peered up at him. “I want there to always be clarity with us. I’ve spent a lot of time being angry.
I don’t want our time together to be spent with lingering resentment. ”
“Neither do I, sweetheart.” His arm wrapped around me. “Your mom isn’t a bad person…she just…”
“Needs to be loved by the right one,” I finished.
“Yeah.” He released me. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be that person for her. I know it hurt her. And I’m sorry you suffered for it.”
I blew out a slow breath. “I’d like to help you with chemo. If you need a ride or anything. I’d be happy to take you.”
He smiled. “I’d like that.”
Jodie called his name, so he left me standing at the sunset, an invisible weight floating off into the air that had been on my shoulders for years. Unfortunately, at the same time, another unwanted weight took its place.
Pulling into my driveway, I gazed in the rearview mirror as I parked, shamelessly looking over at Preston’s house.
A vehicle I’d never seen sat in the driveway, along with Wes’s and Theo’s trucks.
I felt hollow as I stared at the lights coming from the front window.
Not that I would have been able to go if we weren’t in this timeout, but I wanted to be there.
I wanted to meet his sister. Stay up and laugh at the things a young Preston did.
I closed my eyes, forcing the tears to stay where they belonged.
Stepping out of my car, I heard the sound of a trash can rolling along the pavement.
I glanced up, my lungs pinching at the sight of Preston coming down his driveway.
He hadn’t seen me yet. His eyes were glued to the ground.
I stood frozen, my heart screaming at me to dart across the street and throw myself at him. But I didn’t budge. Or breathe.
When he reached the end of the driveway, he finally looked up, his steps halting when our eyes locked. For a moment, neither of us moved. Time stood eerily still. The heaviness of the silence was painful, so I turned to leave when his voice stopped me.
“Trinity…”
I paused, slowly turning back to face him.
“Can you just…let me look at you.” His voice was laced with agony.
It nearly buckled my knees.
“Pres—” I started.
“Please. Can it just be me and you? Just for a second.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from crying. My heart pounded as we continued to stand out in the dark on our empty street.
Finally, I cleared my throat. “I need to go.”
He nodded. “Happy Thanksgiving, Angel.”
Angel.
Who knew one word could do so much damage?
I swallowed thickly. “Happy Thanksgiving.”
Then I escaped into the comfort of my home, hoping God would give me the strength to live without him for however long this timeout lasted.