Chapter 72
Chapter Seventy-Two
“I’m a truthwielder.” It feels strange to say it, a truth I’ve never uttered—Lev figured it out on his own after I called his bluff one too many times.
Mayah blinks. “What?”
My lips curve into a slow smile at her endearingly confused expression.
“It’s my secondary ability. Lev and my mother were the only ones who knew.
Tairna made sure I didn’t tell anyone.” The smile falls from my lips at the memory.
“I was maybe eight. She had a bruise on her cheek.
I asked what happened, and she said she had fallen.
The back of my neck prickled so hard, I began scratching it.
She asked what was wrong—when I told her, her face went pale.
“All those weeks alone with you, Mayah … and you never lied.” A lone tear slips down her cheek. “Not once. Most people lie within minutes of opening their mouths—women, soldiers, advisers.” My fingers skim the line of her jaw, a serrated chuckle sawing through me.
“But not you. Somehow, you managed not to lie once. My beautiful, clever, magnificent Mayah. And Skies above, I fell in love with you—while I was dragging you to marry my brother.” My voice cracks, but I force myself to continue.
“But the Skies favored me for some reason I’ll never understand.
I married you. And I knew you didn’t love me.
Not yet. But I hoped one day you would. That I’d wake one morning and find you gazing at me with affection in your eyes.
With longing. Because you wanted to, not out of a misplaced sense of duty or a need for survival. I hoped you’d fall in love with me.”
I choke on my truth. “And I thought maybe you had.”
Her eyes brim with unchecked sorrow, fingers curling in the collar of my tunic. “You wanted me. You let me hold you like you craved me, too. You reached for me in the dark, when you were half-asleep because you needed me close.”
My grip tightens around her waist. “But then I returned from the border and found you with him…” The thud of her knees against the stone floor still rattles in my skull. Rage in her eyes, water at her fingertips. “My world shattered, Mayah.”
The memory is so fresh—her leg around his waist, fingers gripping his shoulder. It’s etched into my mind, and that image of them together still guts me, even now.
But her energy signature had told me she was agitated. Upset.
“I’d been wrong. So horribly, stupidly, hopelessly wrong.
When you fell to your knees beside his body—Skies, the way you looked at him.
The grief in your eyes. The rage. It gutted me.
” Mayah presses deeper into me, her warmth a welcome balm against the pain clawing at my throat.
“In that moment, I was ready to annul our marriage and send you back home. You didn’t love me.
And I—” My tongue fumbles around the words.
“I had just murdered the man you did. That felt like punishment enough.
“But then you turned on me. Attacked me with water.” A bitter laugh escapes me. “And just like that, my world shattered again. Twice in the span of minutes.”
Another tear slips down her cheek.
“I thought my truthwielding didn’t work on you. That everything we’d shared—every kiss, every touch, every confession—had been a lie. How else could you have kept so much from me? I kept replaying every moment, searching for cracks. Trying to see how you’d fooled me so skiesdamned thoroughly.”
“That’s why you said you’d never trust me again,” she whispers.
I nod, pressing my forehead against hers. “All those months, not a single lie. Not one. And then just now…” Her throat bobs, breath catching. “When you said you hated me—it didn’t just prickle, Mayah. It felt like someone raked a blade down my spine.”
Her shoulders shake as a broken sob slips free from her lips, and I swallow it with a deep kiss, holding her tightly against me as I steal the breath from her lungs.
“Tell me another lie, baby,” I whisper against her lips, desperate for the reassurance that it had been real. That we had been real. That I didn’t just imagine the slow-blooming love unfurling in her heart.
“I never want to see you again,” she breathes, her fingers scratching against my scalp.
Lie.
“I want you to leave.”
Lie.
“I—I don’t love you.”
Sharp needles prick my neck, cascading down my spine, and the relief that rushes through me is so potent, so strong, it would bring me to my knees if I weren’t already seated. I slant my lips over hers with a hungry desperation. Her kiss is everything I’ve ever needed. I’ll never get enough of her.
My voice is hoarse when I pull back. “You were telling the truth. When you said you wanted me. When you said you’d miss me.” Another broken chuckle. “When you said you love my broody scowl. The wormbark oil. Everything. You. Love. Me.”
Mayah nods, tears falling freely now. I gently wipe them away. My thumb brushes against her lips, and the memory slams into me, sudden and unwanted. Lips that she kissed the captain with. When she was mine. My eyes slam shut, muscles tensing.
“Every time I close my eyes, Mayah, I see you on your knees—beside him. My Mayah. My wife.”
“Are you still mad?” she whispers against my lips.
“Yeah, baby. I’m still mad.” I’m not gentle this time when my fingers fist in her hair, tilting her head back.
“But I’m going to get it all out now. Every last bit.
And then we’ll never speak of it again.” Anger and desire swirl through me as she shifts in my lap, hands on my chest, back arched and neck bared.
“I gave you all of me, Mayah. I loved—love—you. My life’s been split down the middle: before you and after you.
Before you, I was merely existing. Going through the motions.
Alone. A fucking shell. But after you?” I laugh softly.
“After you, there’s only you. Since our journey, it’s only ever been you.
Every moment spent thinking about you, aching for you, loving you.
And then … everything came crashing down around me. You were with him when you were mine.”
Her mouth parts, but she remains silent, letting me speak my truth.
“But even then, you were still mine, weren’t you, baby? When you were convinced my kingdom was responsible for your mother’s death, when you were planning a skiesdamned coup under my nose, when you left Tundrayn in love with another man. The wormbark oil was for me.” A question, not a statement.
She nods quickly, head still tilted back in my grip. Her eyes don’t leave me for even half a second.
“And when I returned from the border, you were planning to tell me everything.”
“Yes,” she whispers.
“And I would’ve helped you. I’d have helped you kill them all.
Without a second thought. You didn’t fucking need him.
Because I’ve always been yours. I have been since I met you.
And you need to decide now. Because you’re either mine or you’re not.
And if you choose to be mine, Mayah—” I tug her head farther back, and a soft whimper slips free from between her lips, heating my blood.
“I won’t be kind. I won’t be gentle. I’m going to ruin you, the way you ruined me.
You will spend your nights, your mornings, any moment I can get my hands on you, begging for a mercy that will never come.
I’m going to make you ache for me, Mayah.
The way I’ve been aching for you since that first night you slapped me across the face. ”
Say yes, baby. I don’t think I could survive if you didn’t choose me.
Not again.
Mayah sucks in a shaky breath, soft fingers skimming the edge of my jaw, her touch reverent.
“I think,” she whispers, “it’s time we consummate our marriage.”
Relief shudders through me, drowned out by the raging desire her kisses stoked inside me. I lean back, raking my gaze over her.
“Take off your clothes and wait for me on the bed.”
She scrambles off my lap. I don’t wait to see if she listens as I head into the washroom. I strip off my clothes and turn on the shower, grateful for whichever waterwielder is keeping the irrigation running smoothly.
She’s going to wait for me on that bed.
And she’s going to fucking ache.
I stand under the spray for as long as I can stand, body thrumming with anticipation for the woman waiting for me just beyond the thin wall.
When I can’t stand the distance anymore, I shut off the water, quickly towel myself off, and return to the bedroom.
My heart forgets how to function.
Mayah lies splayed out for me on the bed, completely bare, pale skin glowing in the soft moonlight filtering through the window.
Her cheeks flush beneath my gaze as I etch this breathtaking sight into my memory.
Her breath escapes in sharp pants, chest heaving, skin pebbling, toes curling into the mattress.
A slow smirk curves my lips, and her energy signature goes wild.
Soft skin beneath my palms, softer lips pressed to mine. Frost and winter rose assaulting my senses, driving me mad with the need to take. To claim her as mine.
Deep shuddering breaths clear the hazy fog enveloping my senses.
It’s her first time.
I force myself to slow down. Soft kisses feathered over her face and down her neck as her nails dig into my back. “I love you so fucking much,” I whisper into my wife’s ear, drawing her arms over her head, lacing my fingers with hers.
A sharp gasp. A sweet kiss through the initial pain.
“I’m so sorry, baby.” Another press of my lips to hers. “For everything. I love you. I love you so much. I’m sorry. Never again, my love. I swear it. I’ll be whatever you need. Everything you need. I love you, I love you, I love you.”
My wife is beyond words, though. She’s a mess of soft whimpers and gasping moans.
“That’s it, baby.” I nip her earlobe, then swallow her keening cry as she unravels beneath me.
A soft, contented sigh slips from between her lips, a thin sheen of sweat gleaming on her chest as she catches her breath, her face a picture of pure, satisfied bliss. “That was … that was perfect.”
It’s adorable that she thinks I’m done with her.
She squeals when I roll her onto her stomach, my grip tight on her hips as I drag her toward me. My hand twists in her hair, tugging her head back.
“You’re mine,” I growl into her ear. “Only mine, all fucking mine.”
I kiss her everywhere I can reach—down her spine, across her shoulders, sucking purpling bruises along her neck.
“Say my name,” I rumble against her back. “Say my fucking name.”
My wife is, again, beyond words. That’s all right. I’ll take her pleasured moans and sharp gasps. My hand finds her throat, pulling her flush against me until she finds her release again, taking me with her this time.
I groan into the damp skin of her neck, bracing my weight on my forearms and caging her beneath me.
“Zev,” she breathes. “Fuck, Zev, I’m—”
“Ready for more.”
“No, I—”
“That wasn’t a question.”
Her surprised squeal when I flip her back around sets my blood alight, her eyes wide as I settle between her thighs.
Once, twice. A third time with a piercing cry, thighs clamped tight around my head.
Still not enough. She can ache a bit more. I have months to make up for, after all.
Tears dampen her cheeks, body quivering with pleasure.
“Zev, please. No more.” My wife begs so sweetly. “I can’t take any more.”
“You can,” I growl against her softness.
And she does. Again and again.
Another structure-rattling scream—our neighbors must despise us—and I finally have mercy on her. The mattress is damp with sweat and spend, her body still shaking. I trail kisses up her sternum, capturing her mouth in a deep kiss she can barely return.
I tuck her against my chest, chin resting on the crown of her head. A soft, contented sigh escapes her, and she nuzzles deeper into me.
“I love you,” she mumbles. “You’ve thoroughly ruined me.”
A low laugh rumbles in my chest as I trace long lines against her back and hips.
Her body suddenly tenses against mine, energy signature thrumming with a sudden panic.
“Zev,” she whispers into my chest. “You’ll—you’ll stay, right?”
Oh, my sweet Mayah.
“Zev?” she repeats.
I don’t respond—just rise from the bed and search through my satchel.
“Zev?” she repeats, her voice cracking as she sits up to watch me.
My fingers close around her betrothal ring.
I return to bed and gather her in my arms, and she sags against my chest, arms wrapping securely around me.
“Yeah,” I whisper. I grasp her hand and slide the betrothal ring onto her finger. My throat feels tight at the glimmer of the teardrop diamond—how right it looks on her hand. Where it belongs. I kiss her palm and press it to my cheek. “Yeah, baby. I’ll stay.”