Chapter 34
Shadow
E veryone had a defining moment in their life, one they thought back on and knew that it had changed the entire trajectory of their path.
As I peered down at the map laying on the table before me, contemplating where Avriel and I could go, I could only hope that this was my defining moment, one that would lead to a better life for us both.
But I was no stranger to the ways of the world and the many obstacles we would face once we were on the outside.
Specifically, my lack of rights. I was a possession, something to own.
No more than an acre of poor land, one to be bought and raped.
I found it ironic that in the arena, spectators cheered me on, treated me like a god, but outside of it, the ichor coursing through my veins and the skill of my blade were long forgotten.
A champion in the arena but a slave outside of it.
Aryx used to tell me stories about his past life, about a place called the Three Realms. He said that there, immortals known as Old Gods were treated equally, regardless of sex.
However, the mortals who resided in the Living Realm lived differently.
He drew parallels between the way women were treated there and the way men were treated here.
He said that kings and lords were the ones who possessed female concubines.
Female concubines. I had scoffed at the thought.
I still couldn’t imagine such a thing.
Aryx had also said that women, especially those born into poverty, would go missing and then their souls would turn up in the Da’Nu, something which he explained functioned the same as the Miyakai River here.
I had asked him what caused their deaths—did they have arenas they sent women to?
I still remember the way Aryx shook his head, sadness washing into his eyes as he told me women didn’t die in an arena, no; it was in the privacy of their own homes, something the Living Realm turned a blind eye to.
Sometimes, when the nights grew long, I’d sit in the quiet of my room and think about that, a glass of spirits in my hand.
I knew what it was like to die behind closed doors; I experienced it every time the empress called me to her room.
I hated that the women in the Living Realm had to experience that too.
Hated that things were so . . . out of balance.
I drew a heavy breath.
Lungs reaching their fill, I returned to looking over the map.
The Mother Realm was comprised of three continents—Fiarnia, Eaylandrea, and Airenyl. I always thought Fiarnia and Eaylandrea looked faintly like dragons, fighting over the meat in the middle—Airenyl.
Fiarnia was a brutal land, comprised of steep, treacherous mountains, barren wastelands, and scorching-hot deserts.
Eaylandrea, where the majority of the population lived, was the opposite, with its fertile, rich soil, bountiful forests, and gentle snow-capped mountains.
Both continents had a small hint of one another within them, like yin and yang. Airenyl was a mix of the two.
I eyed the floating island of Avolonia, the empress’s imposing palace sitting on top. This had been the only so-called home I had ever known.
I held no love for it. No loyalty either. And if it weren’t for my brothers, Avriel, and the other innocent people forced to live in this creator-forsaken place, I would have lit it aflame a long, long time ago. Just to watch it burn to ash.
“Do you know how you got your name?” the empress’s voice echoed in my ear, her arms wrapping around my shoulders.
I didn’t respond to her apparition, knowing that it was my mind conjuring her.
“Not much for words today, hmm?” she purred, voice soft.
“That’s alright, I’ll tell you anyway . .
. It’s because when you were just a boy, you would always try to stick to my side.
Just like a little shadow.” Her translucent fingers slid up my neck, floating across my mask. “Do you want to hear another story?”
I continued to ignore her .
If there was one thing I knew, it was that if Avriel and I managed to escape, the empress would never stop looking for us. Which meant we needed to disappear entirely. Just like the white-haired female had—the one the empress was trying to find.
Better yet, the one the empress hadn’t been able to find.
I looked at the Moriel Forest, a curious brow raising.
“Oh, come on now,” the empress said, her imaginary fingers pulling on my face.
I jerked my head to the side, away from her.
The door was nearly soundless as it opened swiftly, soft footsteps ushered inside, and then the door closed shut. I looked up, and my heart quickened at the sight of her. Avriel. She offered me a small smile, and the empress’s phantom instantly disappeared.
“Well, did you come up with a plan?” she asked, rushing to my side to look over the map. Her scent hit me, and I couldn’t help but take a step closer to her, desperate to breathe her in.
“I have ideas, but none I’m extremely fond of,” I replied. “I was thinking about the white-haired female—”
“Sage,” she cut me off gently. “Her name is Sage.”
“Alright, I was thinking about Sage and the vuleeries, particularly the Moriel Forest. Perhaps that is where we should go,” I said, my attention drifting back to the map.
“The vuleeries would tear the meat from our bones if we tried to enter their forest,” she countered. “Unlike Sage, we’re not Nockrythiam’s mate. They have no reason to help us. ”
“But you helped Sage,” I said. “That has to be worth something.”
She was quiet for a moment, thinking it over.
“I don’t think it’s worth the risk. Plus, the empress already has guards watching the forest, looking for any sign of Sage.
” A brief pause. “What about the Northern Mountains? They are more secluded, and fewer people live there, so we wouldn’t have to worry about someone recognizing us as much,” she said, then giggled.
“I’m sure we could find a cave to call home. ”
I smirked at that. I’d happily live in a cave with her, if that’s what it took for us to be together.
She let out a breath. “I’ve never seen them before.”
“The mountains?” I asked, unable to pull my gaze from her.
“Mhm. I’ve heard they are beautiful. That the snow sparkles like diamonds when the light hits them.
I’ve never seen the sea either, but my mother used to talk about it with such fondness.
She grew up by it. Right”—she tapped a spot on the map—"here. In a small village called Okanoe.” A tendril of hair slipped beside her face.
Instinctively, I swept it back, tucking it behind her ear. “Then I will take you to both places,” I promised her.
She looked up at me, eyes wide with those unspoken feelings, the ones she had kept buried for years. “You would do that for me?”
“I would do anything for you.” My hand moved to her cheek, caressing it. Her skin was so soft. So warm. Everything I had dreamt it would be .
Her hand rested over mine as she whispered, “Will you take your mask off? So that I can see the real you?”
“You will not like what you see,” I warned.
“I doubt that.”
I paused in a brief moment of hesitation.
“Please,” she whispered.
My fingers slid from hers as I reached behind my head and unfastened the clasp. I removed the mask and waited for her to gasp in shock, waited for her to step back.
But she did nothing of the sort. Instead, she raised her delicate fingers beside my face, and asked, “May I?”
I nodded.
When her fingers met my cheek, I sucked in a breath. I had imagined this moment thousands of times before, but I had no idea her touch would feel like . . . this . Tender. Loving. It was a feeling I would never get enough of.
“Did she do this?” Avriel asked, her fingers tracing one of the scars.
“Yes.” I leaned into her touch, desperate for her never to stop.
“The night she sent you to be with that other woman,” she said, tears filling her eyes.
When one spilled over her lash line and dribbled down her cheek, I swept it away with my thumb. “No. I do not want you to cry over something that happened centuries ago.”
“Then what would you have me do?” she asked, her voice shaky.
I lowered my hand, cupping her cheek. “I would prefer to see you smile.”
She mustered a small one, just for me, and like the morning sun, it scattered the darkness of my life and made all the pain and suffering worth it.
Avriel was the reason I endured.
“Can I kiss you?” I brushed my thumb over her heart-shaped mouth.
She nodded, her eyes hooked on mine.
I lowered my face to hers and then I did the very thing I had been longing to do for centuries . . .
I kissed her.
I pulled her into me as her arms enveloped my neck, her fingers weaving into my hair.
Her lips were soft and plush, everything I had dreamed they would be.
Everything and more. The smile she wore transferred to my mouth, her breathy laughter mingling with mine.
My hands roved up and down her sides, feeling the wealth of her body.
In that moment, I knew—
I was the richest immortal alive, all because I had her.