Chapter 36
Sage
T he air was different that morning.
It wasn’t cold and bitter and full of spite, as winter could so often be.
It was warm and peaceful, with a hint of something in the light, breezy wind—something fresh and full of promise.
Like the earth was stretching her arms after taking an exceptionally long nap.
I knew that scent. It made no difference that I was in a different realm, it smelled the same as it did back home—
“Spring,” I whispered, breathing it in, savoring it. Although the ground was blanketed in a good layer of snow, I could sense the life waiting to sprout below.
“Smells good, doesn’t it?” Artemesia exclaimed as we walked alongside the frozen river. She had a fishing rod in one hand, and our lunch, packed in a basket, in the other. An ax was tucked underneath her leather belt, a sword on the other side .
I carried a fishing rod and a wooden tackle box—full of different types of fishing supplies. “It really does,” I hummed in reply.
Artemesia eyed a spot by the river, a few large rocks—perfect for sitting on—resting there. “I caught rainbow trout like crazy over there last week.” She nodded to the spot. “Should we give it a try?”
“Might as well,” I answered, starting toward it.
A short while later, after we’d taken turns using her ax to carve out a sizable hole in the ice, we were perched on the rocks, and our hooks were in the water.
“It’s a bit surreal,” Artemesia started. “Sitting here with you, fishing. Just like we always used to do. It’s nice.”
I smiled. “It is nice. The only thing missing is Father.”
“He would have loved to be here with us.”
I nodded. “He would have.”
Eyes shifting to the sky, I watched as the cottony-white clouds drifted lazily by. They moved slowly, as if they had all the time in the world to get where they were going—wherever that was. It made me wonder . . .
I finished the question out loud, “In the Three Realms, when mortals die, they end up in Von’s Spirit Realm. When mortals die here, what becomes of them?”
“It depends on who you ask. Some believe that mortal souls go to Elysium, a place full of golden, swaying crops and azure skies as far as the eye can see. Others believe that when a mortal soul dies, that is simply the end, nothing comes beyond it. I suppose that belief would align with what we believe happens to immortal souls—that when their souls are crushed, it is truly the end.” She paused for a moment, jigging her rod.
“When immortal souls die in other realms, they return here, just as you did. I suppose for immortals, the Mother Realm is their Elysium. Or at least, that’s how it should have been. ”
I glanced down, the space between my brows crinkling—
When immortal souls die in other realms, they return here, just as you did.
I gasped, nearly dropping my rod. My face swung toward hers. “Wait, our child would have been immortal. Does that mean their soul would have returned here as well?”
Artemesia shook her head slowly. Sadly. “You were too early in your pregnancy for them to receive their soul.”
“But I felt them.” My fingers splayed over my stomach.
“What do you mean?”
“On our wedding day, when I found out I was pregnant, I had intended to keep it a secret from Von until I could tell him later that night, but he showed up without warning. The babe knew of my wishes, so they helped me by using their magic to hide the sprouted Neptuah seeds before Von had a chance to see them.”
Artemesia looked stunned. She opened her mouth to say something, but no sound came out. She closed it. Opening it for a second time, she tried again, “Then, yes, your child could very well be . . .”
“ Here ,” I finished for her. For me .
I could hardly believe it. There was a chance our child’s soul could be in this realm .
A chance!
The shackles of grief fell from my limbs. One by one, the invisible anchors struck the ground. For so long I’d felt heavy, drowning in the ocean of loss. But now, I felt featherlight, as if I could drift up to the sky. Because now there was possibility. There was hope . And it was a powerful thing.
Tears misted my eyes. Overwhelmed with joy, I let out a laugh. And then another, and another, until I was a mess of happy laughter and guttural sobs.
“Oh, honey,” Artemesia said gently. Emotion twisted her face, spilling over her lower lash line. She leaned over, embracing me in a hug. I wrapped one arm around her. Dropping my fishing rod, I added another.
“They could be here,” I whispered, my chin tucked on her shoulder. Hers on mine.
If only Von was here, if only I could tell—
Sage! a familiar voice yelled inside my head.
I jerked back from Artemesia.
I knew that voice. Just as well as I knew the sound of four tiny feet scampering across my mind. It was a sound I’d never expected to be thankful to hear, but at that moment, I was.
“What is it?” Artemesia asked, her platinum eyebrows weaving in concern.
But I didn’t get a chance to answer, because a shadow mouse appeared at the forefront of my mind. It twisted and turned, growing and growing until . . .
Soren? I asked, somewhat in disbelief, as his darkened silhouette emerged in my thoughts.
Sadness and regret swam within his eyes as he said, I know I’m probably the last face you want to see, but still, it’s good to see yours.
How is this possible? I asked, grappling to believe . Real or not real?
We’re all here, in the Mother Realm, he answered.
Von? I inquired softly, voice wobbling. My chest throbbed.
Yes. Kaleb, Harper, Ryker, Lyra, Folkoln, and Fallon too. Where are you? Soren asked. We’ll come to you.
They were all here ? My mate? My brother? My friends?
I’m . . .
I trailed off.
What if this was a trap? What if it wasn’t really Soren? The empress had seen my thoughts . . . what if she was using this as a way to find me?
Swiftly, the clouds in my eyes cleared.
Soren took a step toward me as he said, It’s really us.
Artemesia’s voice pulled me back into the present. “Sage? You’re scaring me.” Her hands were on my shoulders, her eyes rounded at the corners. “What’s going on?”
“Von and my friends . . . they might be here,” I told her, hope brimming inside, hope that I didn’t want to let grow, because I would be devastated if it were all a lie.
We are , Soren’s voice was soft. By the way, Von is getting really impatient.
“Did you have a vision or something? How do you know?” Artemesia questioned.
My lips vibrated as I blew out a breath of air. I wasn’t exactly sure how to explain this one, but hey, my sister rode a half eagle, half lion, so I was sure she wouldn’t blink twice at a shadow mouse living inside my brain.
“Back home, there was someone by the name of Soren. We were friends . . . once, until he forced himself into my mind, without my consent, and then used it against me in order to save himself.” Even though I spoke the words to Artemesia, I watched Soren, noting how his head dipped as I voiced his transgressions against me.
“Right now, he stands on the forefront of my mind, telling me that he and my other friends are here in the Mother Realm.”
“That is terrible for a friend to do that. Such a person is not to be trusted,” Artemesia spoke with disdain. She raised a brow. “Does this mean he is privy to your thoughts? Memories? Things you’ve seen?”
“Yes. He has access to everything,” I said, the growl in my voice lost when I realized—
I won’t tell anyone about Veshameer, Soren vowed as he took a step toward me. I promise.
Just hearing him speak the Hidden City’s name made me clench my fists. His promise was meaningless. His actions had proven that he was not one to be trusted. And so, I would not give that to him now. Not until he showed me otherwise.
I will, Sage. I’ll earn back your trust. I’ll—
Ignoring him, I looked at Artemesia. “I know this could be a trap, but if there is a chance Von and my friends are here, I need to go.”
“You are my sister. I’m not letting you go alone.” Her voice was firm. “Ask this Soren ,” she hissed his name, “where they are, and we will go to them.”
“Alright.” Turning inward, I looked at Soren.
His reply came swiftly. We are moving further into the forest, east of the Verita Mountains.
The others had a camp set up, but Von and Folkoln don’t want to stay there because they think the gray-skinned creatures will come after us.
Considering Von left one of them tied up, when they find her, I imagine they will.
“The Verita Mountains,” I said to Artemesia. “Do you know where that is?”
She nodded. “I do, yes. The Miyakai River runs through them. I’ll get Vatara, and we can leave within the hour.”
A small seed of hope sprung inside.
Von . . . Is it really you? I asked across the broken bridge that linked us, and although I could not hear his reply, I felt it—
A small gust of wind brushed over my cheek, caressing it with a loving touch.
“Before we leave, I want you to tie this over my eyes,” I said to Artemesia, holding up a bit of cloth, the edges frayed and torn. I’d ripped it from the fabric of my pillowcase a short fifteen minutes ago as I’d quickly packed a bag for myself .
“Why?” Artemesia asked as she stroked Vatara’s head, the two waiting for me outside of Artemesia’s tent.
“I don’t trust Soren. I won’t risk showing him how to get here,” I said, handing it to her. “Which means I can’t know the way either.”
Her fingers curled around the cloth as she answered, “Alright.”
She whistled, and Vatara lowered so we could mount.
I sat in front of Artemesia, feeling the immense warmth radiating from Vatara. I patted her neck while Artemesia tied the sash in place. My vision went dark.
“Can you see anything?” she asked, a bit of air moving in front of my face. I imagined she was waving her hand back and forth.
“No,” I replied. “Nothing.”
“Alright, we’re off then,” she said, clicking her tongue.
Vatara whistled a melodic note, and then she leapt from the ground, taking us to the sky.
I had experienced seasickness before when riding on boats, but it was nothing compared to the way my stomach revolted now.
Apparently, flying through the air at high speeds with a sash covering my eyes was not the best idea I’d ever had.
We’d had to stop six times so that my rumbling stomach could find relief.
The one time, we hadn’t been fast enough, and poor Vatara’s side had borne the worst of it .
“How are you doing?” Artemesia asked, one hand rubbing my back, the other on the reins.
“Feeling like we’re never going to make it at this rate,” I spoke groggily.
“You can take the sash off,” Artemesia said. “There are other ways we can ensure this Soren does not speak of Veshameer.”
“It’s alright,” I said, forcing a deep breath of air into my lungs.
Even though my world was a pit of black, I closed my eyes.
I recalled that strange feeling, of how it had felt to be disconnected from my body, unable to feel my arms or legs, unable to move.
There was no sensation. Only nothingness.
I focused on it, told myself it was what I was feeling now.
Keep going , spoke the ethereal female voices inside my head, effervescent and sparkling, like a cup of bubbling wine. I had heard those voices before, when I was rejected by the Endless Mist.
You once asked me who I was , I said to them. When I said I was Sage, you did not accept that answer. Why?
Because your answer was incorrect, they said.
And if I reply that I am the Goddess of Life, is that correct? I asked.
You are getting closer, but there is still so much you don’t know. Turn inward, and you will find the answer.
A hallway of doors appeared inside my mind, stretching on and on. I reached for the one closest to me, opened it up, and stepped through it.