Chapter 55
Avriel
I f there was one thing I knew, it was that there weren’t enough hours in the day.
Not enough minutes. Not enough seconds. Although Shadow and I used every precious kernel to try to put distance between us and the empress, it never felt like it was enough time.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that we were running out of it, despite Shadow’s constant encouragement.
Through the wind, I could hear the nickering of her winged horses, chomping at the bit to sink their teeth into us. Each time a branch scraped across my face, I could feel her wicked nails dragging along my skin, threatening to break it.
Still, we moved.
At first, it was through the river—through the tumultuous waters that pushed us further downstream, until we found a well, close enough to the water that we could crawl out of.
That had not been easy, and if not for Shadow going up first and throwing the rope and bucket down to me, I would still be stuck down there.
When Shadow pulled me out of the well, I realized we had emerged in a herdsmen’s yard, beside a pasture full of sheep.
One looked at me as if to say, What are you doing here? before it returned to its grazing.
That was the last thing I remembered of that place before Shadow grabbed my hand and pulled me through the pasture into the forest.
I couldn’t say how many days had passed since then—they all seemed to blur together. Perhaps it was the constant state of shock. The fear I grappled with, the questions that replayed over and over inside my head . . .
What if she found us?
What would she do to Shadow for helping me?
My stomach churned at the thought.
“We should stop for a small break,” Shadow said, slowing our pace, those worried eyes on mine. He’d lost his mask in the river, something I wasn’t sad about. It was nice to see his handsome face, scars and all.
Lungs wheezing, I nodded at the male who was in much better shape. I stopped and leaned forward, tossing my forearms against my thighs as I gulped down breaths of air.
The forest floor was full of broken twigs, decomposing leaves, and various plant life.
It was all part of a cycle of life and death—from soil to plant to animal to mortal and back to the ground again.
Without the breakdown of the dead, the living could not flourish.
One needed the other, and we all were connected to it, whether we liked it or not.
“Here,” Shadow said, extending his arm, offering me the waterskin he’d pulled from the satchel.
“Thanks.” I panted as I straightened, taking it from him. For a brief moment, our fingers brushed, and my lungs turned to stone in my chest, frozen by that one little touch.
Shadow looked down at his fingers and I wondered if he felt it too—
“Do you think . . .” I trailed off, the last part of my sentence dying on my tongue, slaughtered by fear. Fear that if I spoke the words, if I put the thought out there only to find out he didn’t feel it too—
“I’ve suspected it for some time now,” he said, his words an ax to my doubt, severing me from it.
I took a slow, shaky breath. So I wasn’t the only one.
I knew the odds, that the bond had become extremely rare after the emperor died, as he had been its primary driving force.
But every so often, a star would fall from the sky on its own accord and shatter into two when striking the ground, thus creating a new pair of bonded mates.
The connection between Shadow and I was so strong, it was hard not to wonder if we were.
I took a drink from the waterskin, wiped my mouth, then asked, “When did you first start to wonder?”
“When I was a teenage boy,” came his answer. His firm jaw pulsed. “It was the day your mother officially introduced you to court.”
Pressure built on my brow, lowering it as I tried to think back to that day, but the time that had passed between then and now had rendered the memory full of cobwebs, the picture faded and cracked.
And it seemed so strange because that had been a monumental day in my life, and yet, I remembered so very little of it.
“That was centuries ago,” I stated, grappling with what he was telling me.
“It was, but I still remember it as if it were yesterday, because that was the first time I really felt seen.” He stepped closer to me, the twigs crunching under his sandals.
“I was standing by the empress’s throne, watching from above as you bowed before her.
When you raised your head, your eyes met mine.
And in that brief moment, it was as if you had removed the mask from my face, peered past the scars and damage, and saw the person inside.
It was like your soul was speaking to mine.
” He gave a soft shake of his head. “Ever since that day, I’ve wondered if we are . . .”
“Bonded,” I finished, taking a step forward and closing the distance between us.
There was a brief pause when neither of us moved.
The small moment before the spark erupted.
A breath. A glance. A striking of a heart.
A wish. A need. A hunger like no other.
We caved—and we collided. I dropped the waterskin and encircled my arms around his neck as he kissed me with fervency, his tongue lashing against mine. Years of pent-up desire ignited the flames of passion between us.
“We shouldn’t,” he said between kisses.
“We should,” I countered, tipping my head back, offering him my neck. My fingers wove into the raven strands poking out at his nape. I was tired of longing for him, and now that we were free, I wanted to know what the weight of his body felt like on top of mine.
His hands slid down my torso, roving over every inch of me, exploring and learning. The silk of my chemise, which was lighter than a feather, became very, very heavy, scratchy too, as if it were made of wool. I needed to get it off.
I reached for the hem, but his fingers stopped mine.
He pulled back. “Have you ever lain with another before?”
“No,” I answered him honestly.
A muscle kicked in his jaw. “You deserve better than this.”
“Better than what?”
He didn’t meet my gaze. “To be rutted like some animal in the woods.”
I could sense he was battling with something much deeper.
I slid my hands to his face, forcing him to look at me. “Shadow, I don’t care. If it’s here in the woods or a bed in the clouds. All that matters is that it’s with you. There is no one else I want to give my maidenhood to. No one else but you.”
“You’re sure?” His voice was but a whisper.
“I am.”
A pause. “You truly want this?”
In that moment, I understood.
He wanted my consent —he wanted to be certain this was something I wanted because the empress had never given him the option. She had only taken from him, regardless of what he wanted.
Looking deeply into his eyes, I vowed to him, “If the sun fails to rise tomorrow, and all of creation were to meet its end, I could die happily, knowing I got the chance to experience this with you. To be connected to you. So yes, Shadow, I want this more than anything. I want you.”
His eyes searched mine, inspecting them for any hint of mistruth. When he found none, his fingers slid to the bottom of my hem. “I want you, too, Avriel, more than anything else in this world. I’ve dreamt of this moment between us for so long.”
“Then take me,” I whispered, my lips finding his. He started to lift my chemise—
“Disgusting!” a hateful, familiar voice roared from up above.
A blast of light, traveling faster than an arrow, shot between us, blowing us apart.
My body sailed backwards until I collided with a tree trunk, bringing me to an abrupt, excruciating halt. Something inside me snapped and I felt a burst of pain.
I moaned in agony, my hand shooting to my side, but the second I tried to touch it, I let out a yelp. Although I didn’t feel anything broken on the outside, it sure felt like something was on the inside. A rib, perhaps?
Gritting my teeth together, I looked around, trying to find Shadow. He was lying a good thirty paces from me, unconscious, surrounded by the empress’s soldiers .
“Shadow!” I screamed for him, tears pricking my eyes as I tried to crawl for him, my movement slow and weak, my body crying out in pain.
No. No. No! This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
The empress landed before me, her massive wings tucking in.
Her eyes were like daggers, threatening to carve mine out.
She shook her head at me, lip curled in disgust. “I’m not surprised you turned out to be no different than your mother.
She wanted to take from me, too, and we all know how that ended for her, don’t we? ”
The adrenaline coursing through my veins made me ignorant of my pain.
I thrust my hand up, calling on my winds, sending them hurtling for her.
She glanced to her left and stopped my power dead before it reached her, not even a strand of hair knocked out of place. “Don’t make me laugh,” she mused. Then, I felt the weight of her power, like a knee to my back, knocking me over, forcing me to bow to her.
Again, an explosion of pain slashed at my side—something was definitely broken. Still, I ground my teeth, trying with every fiber of my being to break her hold. With a face full of dirt and leaves, I just barely managed to look up.
She placed a hand on her hip and glanced over her shoulder, commanding her soldiers, “Bring him over.”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” one of them replied as she leaned down to grab his arm.
“What are you going to do?” I wheezed, watching as the soldiers dragged Shadow toward us. My heart ached with the need to go to him. And yet, I could do nothing.
“You’re going to find out,” the empress replied, grabbing hold of her skirts and flicking them to the side as she turned. “Put him against that rock,” she commanded. “Over there.”
The soldiers did as she asked, dragging him over to a flat-topped boulder, large enough to lie on.
“Secure him,” the empress directed.
A soldier flicked her hand, and vines began to shoot from the ground. They wove around his wrists, circling round and round. They wrenched his arms downwards, pulling him taut.
“Please, don’t hurt him,” I cried out, trying to fight against her power as I remained pinned to the ground.
But the empress didn’t pay me a sliver of mind.
In horror, I watched one of her soldiers use a knife to cut off Shadow’s shirt. In horror, I watched as the empress conjured a whip made of slender rawhide strips, interwoven with wire barbs, making it sharp and hooked. In horror, I watched as she handed it to one soldier and told them to begin.
“No!” I screamed at the top of my lungs as the soldier threw back her arm and issued the first strike.
The hooks dug into his flesh, splitting it open and taking out chunks as the soldier ripped the whip back.
Ichor sprayed in gory display, trailing after the whip.
It brimmed like a dam bursting open, filling the deep gashes with silver.
Shadow came to, roaring in excruciating agony .
There were two sounds in this world I never wanted to hear again, and the sound he made right then was one of them.
My vision turned cloudy. His name slipped from my trembling lips. “Shadow.”
Chest heaving, he lifted his head, his eyes finding mine.
“Again,” the empress demanded, the words a snarl.
Whooosh. Crack!
“Ahh!” Shadow cried out.
“Please,” I sobbed desperately, the pain of my broken rib long forgotten as Shadow’s anguish took the helm. “Please. Please. Please. Stop it.”
The empress tipped her head, her eyes narrowing into slits. “Keep going.”
Whoosh. Crack!
Whoosh. Crack!
Whoosh. Crack!
I begged and pleaded for the punishment to stop, words pouring out of my mouth, full of promises and pledges. Promises I would never disobey the empress again. Pledges I would go with Victor and do as she asked of me. I tried anything and everything to get her to stop.
Whoosh. Crack!
Whoosh. Crack!
The whipping was ceaseless. It went on and on and on.
There were moments when Shadow would black out from the pain, only to come roaring back to life at the crack of the whip striking him again.
Throughout it all, my eyes never strayed from him.
Because when he awoke, I wanted him to see me, to know I was there for him, that I was deeply sorry.
This was all my fault. I should never have told him about Victor’s plans for me.
I should have run away on my own. If I had, he wouldn’t be here right now.
When I’d lost count of how many lashes he’d been dealt, his back a bloody massacre, the empress finally raised her hand and said, “Enough.”
The soldier lowered the whip, and the vice that constricted my lungs eased its grip. Air seeped inside my chest for the first time in what seemed like hours.
The empress walked over to Shadow, standing in front of him.
She grabbed his chin and angled it upwards, but he was too out of it to register what was happening.
“You are lucky you are my favorite—otherwise, I would end you right now,” she growled softly.
Her thumb stroked his cheek, and then she let go.
His head flopped downwards. She turned to face me.
“Now, the question stands. What shall I do with you?”
“I’ll go with Victor,” I pleaded. “If that’s what you want me to do. I’ll do whatever.”
“Victor has already found someone to replace you, so it seems you are no longer needed,” she said. “And I can’t have you in my palace anymore, considering you can’t be trusted not to steal my things.” Her gaze shifted pointedly to Shadow.
“I won’t ever do something like this again,” I decreed.
“Unfortunately for you, I’ve already seen second chances don’t work.” She rolled her wrist, and light wrapped around her hand, forging a soulius made from white dragon scales.
“Please, Your Majesty,” I begged as she started for me.
Shadow’s eyes, which had been closed mere seconds ago, opened to half-mast, as if he were fighting with himself to keep them open. “Avena!” he rasped weakly. “Don’t you fucking touch her!”
She curled her upper lip. “I see you have not learned your lesson. We’ll have to work on that,” she snarled.
Her magic lifted me from the forest floor, pulling my arms out to the sides as I dangled in the air. She placed the metal-like nails over my chest, pushing them past my chemise and into my skin.
“Goodbye, priestess,” were her final words before she tore my soul from my chest.
Shadow’s desperate roar was the last thing I heard before she squeezed her fist, and my life came to an end.