46. Caden
Caden
It doesn’t matter that I put on a new linen shirt, or my cleanest leather tennis shoes, I’m still arriving to Matt’s party with a fading black eye and healing broken nose. I dab my best cologne on my neck, like that will somehow make me look better.
The funny thing is, I look better than I feel.
“There he is!” Matt jumps off the bench as I scale the steps of the back deck on his parents’ beach house. The party is hopping, with music playing from speakers and people, faces both new and familiar, walking around with smiles.
Matt claps me on the back and takes the celebratory bottle of bourbon I brought him.
“Told you I’d be here. Sorry I’m late,” I reply, keeping my sunglasses on as I force a grin that’s more of a grimace.
The last place I want to be this evening is at a party with dozens of Matt’s and Morgan’s friends and family, celebrating an engagement, after I just blew up my own chance at love. But Matt is probably my last remaining friend, and I couldn’t miss it. Broken face and all.
“Congratulations again, man,” I say to Matt. Over his shoulder, I see Morgan is standing in a circle of women, all admiring her ring. A cotton-candy sky hangs behind the party, the air smells of the ocean and a charcoal grill, and my best friend hasn’t stopped beaming.
“Thank you, thank you.” He shoves a beer from the nearby cooler into my empty hand. “I’m just so happy everyone could make it. It means so much to us to be able to celebrate with everyone.”
I twist the cap off the imported beer and take a sip.
“Where’s Fia?” he asks, and I do my best to keep my expression neutral.
“It’s just me tonight.” I don’t offer any further explanation. My best friend is celebrating, and the last thing I’m going to tell him is that I fucked things up with Fia.
Luckily Matt’s parents catch my eye and come rushing over to say hi. Of course, his mom asks about my bruised nose, but I’ve gotten good at brushing questions like this off with humor.
“A careless surf injury!” I tell her, and she laughs, patting my shoulder in the way a caring mom does.
Through the next hour, I pick at some grilled seafood and nurse half a beer, then find myself walking out to the edge of the steps, right before the sand dunes lead you to the beach.
The music and chatter fade in the background, and my own thoughts become the dominant noise.
Muscle memory takes over, and next thing I know, I’m checking the only message thread I care about.
Caden: Parties suck without you. I need you to make small talk for me.
I hit send even though she hasn’t read the one from last night where I tried to joke: I found the strawberry Pop-Tarts you left . . . did you poison them? Because I ate the whole box last night.
“Fucking stupid,” I mutter, shoving my phone back into my pocket.
What the hell was I thinking?
She deserves better than a string of pointless, desperate text messages. We can’t avoid each other forever. I’m her boss, for fuck’s sake.
But she has all the control. She always has.
“Can everyone come around for a moment!” Matt’s voice booms loud over the partygoers, and I turn to see everyone gathering around him.
He’s standing on a bench, his arm draped around Morgan, squinting against the sun, and I can’t do anything but smile.
Undoubtedly, he’s drunk, but I’ve never seen a bigger grin on his face. I join the back of the crowd, eyes on my best friend as he shouts over everyone.
“Thank you all for coming! And for those of you who knew this was a surprise engagement party . . . thanks for keeping your mouths shut.” He finds me in the crowd and tips his drink, as if I would’ve told a soul.
At least three dozen people shuffle around the deck, ice clinking in drinks, whispers and smiles, seagulls squawking above.
“For those who don’t know,” Matt continues, smiling while he speaks, “a year ago today, Morgan started working at the same gym as me. She was the new trainer, and I’d arrive to work early everyday just to say hi to her in the parking lot.
Like an idiot, I left my number on a piece of paper on her car windshield after two weeks. She never called.”
Everyone laughs, including Morgan.
“But I kept showing up early, asking her to lunch or for drinks after work . . . I asked until she finally agreed. It was a bit unhinged, I’ll admit.” Matt pauses, glancing at Morgan. She places her hand on his chest, gazing up at him.
“But I knew from the moment I met her that she was my future wife. And you do crazy things when you feel that way about someone.”
They lock eyes and kiss ,and everyone raises their drinks.
I drop my lukewarm beer onto a nearby table, unable to focus on anything around me. I rub my palm over my stubbled jaw and fish my keys from my pocket.
I have to get out of here.
My heart races as my legs carry me as fast as they can around the side of the house and down the street to my Jeep. The streetlights flicker on as night approaches, and I’m cast in a dusky shadow under the large palm fronds.
I punch in an address on my phone, needing to find the quickest way to get to Good Grinds before they close.
There’s no time to decide if this is a bad idea.
As soon as I come rushing through the back door of Good Grinds, my eyes lock with Halle’s. Keys jingle from her grip and the chairs are flipped onto tables because we close in minutes.
My breath shakes my whole body, and I pull off my sunglasses, running a hand through my windswept hair.
Halle’s eyes go wide as she stares at me. “Oh my god, what happened to you?”
I shake my head. “It’s nothing. But I need your help.”
There’s no one in here but us, half the lights are already off.
Her lips fall open, eyes narrow slightly. “If this is about Fia, I can’t help.”
I raise my brows, not entirely shocked. Halle’s her best friend, of course she knows.
Halle continues past me to lock the back door.
“Will you please stop and look at me?” I ask.
She huffs out a breath, but her gaze snaps back to mine. Fire dances in her eyes.
“I don’t know what you know,” I say, and wince when I clench my jaw, “but I’m assuming she told you I fucked up,” I admit, handing all my cards over. I’ve got nothing left to hide—I need her help.
“Well, she did call me last night sobbing, so . . .” she shoots back at me, and I drop my head, pinching the back of my neck. “She really cared about you.”
I stop, taking a deep breath. “I know how it looks, but that’s why I’m here. I need your help to fix it.”
She nudges the chair next to us with her sneaker but won’t look at me.
“Don’t make me beg.”
Halle groans and stomps her foot.
“Fine, but you better have an amazing plan, because Fia doesn’t trust easily, and you broke something in her. So, if you tell me you need help picking out a piece of jewelry or something stupid, I swear to god I will burn this place down.”
I nod, biting my bottom lip.
“No jewelry, got it,” I joke to ease the tension even though my heart is aching in the cavity of my chest, the way it’s ached since I let her walk out of my life. “Do you think you can get Fia to come here tomorrow night, alone?”
Halle furrows her brow.
“She puts Daisy to bed at—”
I cut her off. “I know, that’s why I need you. I’ll pay you whatever you want to stay at Fia’s house and babysit.”
Halle shifts her weight, taking her good old time considering my offer.
“Okay,” she finally says. “I can try, but you know Fia, she’s going to be skeptical and have a million questions.”
I nod, understanding that’s entirely true. I have no idea if this is going to work, but I have to try. I can’t let her just slip from my life like the last month meant nothing to me.
“Thank you,” I reply shakily.
“Shit, you really are messed up over her, aren’t you?”
I exhale, somewhere between a sob and a laugh. “You have no fucking clue.”