29. Josie
josie
. . .
I moved to open the door, but Lincoln was around the truck in a matter of seconds. He held out his good hand for me to take, closing the door quietly in case Dad was still up.
The barn was a short walk from the house, separated in the middle by a tall windmill. Lincoln’s hand found mine on instinct, and I eagerly intertwined our fingers. It felt familiar. Comfortable . Like we’d been doing it for years and this was nothing more than a natural part of our day.
We opened the barn door, greeted by the dim night lights lining the pathway toward the offices. Most of the horses paid us no mind as we went, though Sundance and Silver stuck their nosy little heads out for pats as we walked by.
Dad’s office was at the far end of the barn. He’d designed it that way so he could always hear the stomping of boots or the jingle of spurs coming. I switched on the light as we walked in and pointed toward the desk. “Take a seat over there.”
Lincoln laughed. “Are you always this bossy?” I didn’t answer, turning with my hands on my hips and waited until he did as I said. “Yes, ma’am,” he said, holding his hands up in surrender .
“Stubborn ass,” I muttered as I pulled pain relievers and a wrap from the drawer. We always kept this thing stocked since accidents occurred on a semi-regular basis. It was always one of two things that caused trouble: Cowboys getting complacent or showing off. Both were recipes for disaster.
Dad always said that was why he kept the kit in his office. He wanted to make sure no one got away with that shit without a verbal warning and he got a good laugh.
“Give me your hand,” I said, holding my own out. I stepped between Lincoln’s legs, feeling them close in on either side of my thighs as I worked.
I was all too aware of how similar the positioning was from the first night he kissed me, only this time, I felt in control of the situation. Lincoln’s body was warm and inviting, and the scent of rich leather clung to his skin.
“You’re good at this,” he said. I tightened the wrap, and he winced. “Sort of.”
“You’re not the only one with a proclivity for fighting.”
His eyes darkened, turning to near glistening black coals. “Who else have you been wrapping up then?” he bit out.
My lips twitched. It would be so fun to torture him, even if only for a second. “Well, there’s Bishop. He’s got a big temper. Though, he usually punches things that don’t move. That angry fool has had to patch the wall in his office so many times, I’ve lost count. And then, surprisingly enough, there’s Lennox.”
His brows shot up at that. “Lennox?”
“Mmhm,” I said, securing the wrap. “She’s always been a little scrappy. Her teachers had mom and dad on speed dial growing up. They got plenty of calls that she’d kicked some kid’s ass on the playground.” I shrugged. “They almost always deserved it. And she didn’t discriminate either. Whether it was a group of mean girls picking on someone or a boy who wouldn’t learn to take no for an answer…” My voice faltered at the end, but I pushed through. “She always did what was right.”
Lincoln laughed, tipping his head up to the ceiling. It bared his throat, and I couldn’t help the thoughts I had about running my tongue along his day-old stubble. “It makes so much sense now,” he said.
“What does?”
“When she and I were dancing earlier, she threatened to kill me if I broke your heart. Said there were a million places to hide a body out here.” He shook his head. “Guess I might have to take her threats seriously then.”
I smiled at that. Knowing Lennox’s ferocity, she’d do it too. I could only imagine what Cleo and Bishop were dealing with back at the bar. “Better heed that warning then, cowboy. I’d hate to cover up such a pretty crime.”
“Aw, you think I’m pretty, huh?”
I rolled my eyes and stepped out from between his legs when I finished. Lincoln flexed his fingers. “How’s it feel?” I asked.
“Better than it did,” he said, looking up at me from under the brim of his black hat. “Thank you, darlin’.”
I hated how my heart swelled when he called me darlin’, and the moment baby had left his lips, I’d been a goner. Why were those endearments so damn hot? I mean, they shouldn’t be.
My dad had always called me darlin’ or sugar since I was little. Whenever a man tried to do it before, I’d promptly told them it didn’t sit right with me and we’d avoid it altogether. But the moment it’d come from Lincoln’s lips as he poured my first shot of whiskey, it altered my brain chemistry.
With him, it felt right.
Which is why the moment I stepped foot back on Black Springs, I told Dad he couldn’t call me that anymore. Every time I heard it, I thought of Lincoln. And I hadn’t wanted the reminder of what I’d left .
I cleared my throat. “Thank me tomorrow when the swelling goes down,” I said, tearing open the little packet and putting two pills in his hand. “This should help a little.”
“I don’t suppose you have something to chase these with? I’ve been weird about dry swallowing pills for years. Got one stuck as a kid.”
“As a matter of fact, I do,” I said, walking over to Dad’s closet. I reached for the top shelf, letting out a whoop when I wrapped my fingers around a dusty glass bottle. The label was faded, barely legible as I held it up. “Dad’s emergency stash.”
“That’ll do.” He tossed the pills in his mouth and reached for the whiskey. He took a swig and grimaced. “Shit, this is awful.”
I swiped it from him and did the same. God, it burned. That’d been a hard lesson to learn in high school. Dad didn’t keep much liquor in the house. He was more of a beer drinker. He only brought out his expensive stash during holidays, and my sisters and I knew better than to break into that. So, we’d sneak out to the barn during sleepovers and crack open these instead. He had them hidden all over the barn.
“I told you it was the first night we met,” I said. “I don’t know why he likes this swill. It’s horrible.”
“But it does the job,” he said, pointing the bottle toward me. “And that, darlin’, is the point. Some people like the burn. It numbs whatever’s got you reaching for the whiskey.”
That was true. It was why I’d always done it, at least. Especially on the night Lincoln had shared his special bottle with me at the bar. I’d been running from my past, and mourning the loss of something I’d never had.
“What’s got you reaching for it tonight?” I asked, holding my breath as I waited for his answer. The buzz from the alcohol from the bar and my waning adrenaline left me wanting to swipe the liquor from his grasp and down a shot of my own.
Lincoln studied the bottle, his lips pressed into a hard line. “ The thought of him touching you. Of him thinking he has any claim on you, when you’ve been mine since the moment you walked into Frank’s last summer.” He raised his head, eyes shadowed. The usual warmth in them replaced by something darker, sharper. “The thought that he’s had you when I?—”
“I never touched him,” I interrupted, the words spilling out before I could stop them. Lincoln’s eyebrows lifted, his grip tightening on the bottle as I rushed to explain. “I mean, we kissed. But I’ve never… I couldn’t…” My palms were damp, and I wiped them hastily on my jeans, hoping it was enough to still the shaking.
Come on, Josie. Fucking say it.
Lincoln sat the bottle down and reached forward, hooking his fingers in my belt loops and tugging me closer like he had earlier. “Never been able to do what , darlin’?”
“I haven’t been able to touch another man without thinking about you,” I whispered, letting my admission hang in the air between us like a taught thread.
I’d tried to move on. God, how I tried. Every time I kissed someone, desperate to forget what Lincoln’s lips felt like against mine, it’d been his face I’d seen when I opened my eyes.
Just like it’d been his body I’d thought about as I touched myself on so many nights, his name I’d cried out on a ragged exhale as my toes curled and ecstasy crashed through my body.
“You haven’t slept with anyone else since me?” he asked. His body trembled as his fingers squeezed my hips.
I shook my head. “I couldn’t.”
“Fuck, baby,” he groaned, eliminating the space between our bodies with one tug.
I went willingly, placing my hands against his chest. His heart thundered under my touch, a rampant beat that matched my own.
Lincoln ran his nose up my throat and groaned. “It’s taking everything in me not to give in to this temptation,” he rasped. “Because I want you so badly it fucking hurts. ”
“Then take me,” I said, baring my throat. “I want you, too.”
His lips touched softly at the skin beneath my ear, and I wanted to die. His breath fanned against me as he let out a ragged exhale, and I wanted more. It was the cruelest form of torture, and I didn’t know if I could go another second without him.
He pulled back, just as he’d done when I kissed him outside the bar. “God, how I want you—don’t think that I don’t—but,” he paused and let his hands travel from my hips to my neck, cupping it tenderly. “I wanna do this right, Josie, and that means not taking you on top of your dad’s desk. I wanna show you that this is real for me. I wanna show you how you should be treated.”
My eyes watered, and he wiped beneath them as the first tear fell. “I may die if you don’t at least kiss me, Lincoln Carter.”
His lips twitched as his molten gaze drifted lower. “Well, I’d hate for you to die before I have the chance to make good on my plans.”
And then he leaned in, our mouths colliding. He tasted of whiskey and sin and every promise he’d ever made. We were greedy as we moved together, each of us taking our fill, and I couldn’t get enough.
It’d been so long, and yet it almost seemed as though no time had passed—like there hadn’t been a year and a thousand miles keeping us apart. We fit together like a perfect pair, and I didn’t know how I’d been able to walk away the first time.
I’d been a stupid, reckless fool, but I didn’t have to be. I could stay and fight for Lincoln, for us, for a future filled with laughter, passion, and love .
That word was flashing before my eyes like the bright neon sign that had brought me to him for the first time.
His tongue slipped in, caressing my own with a gentle touch, before he kissed me one last time and pulled back. “You’re gonna kill me, woman,” he whispered, curling his hands in my hair at the base of my neck. “But what a way to go. ”
Lincoln’s smile was bright as we both laughed. I leaned in on instinct, capturing his lips once more before stepping away. If we didn’t stop, I didn’t know if I’d be able to. We were toeing dangerously at a line he hadn’t wanted to cross.
Reaching over, I grabbed the bottle and returned it to my dad’s hiding spot, considerably less full than when we’d pulled it down. Lincoln was warm behind me as he slid his hands around my waist. He dipped his hands into my pockets and pulled me back against him.
Holy shit.
I let my head fall back against his shoulder. “You’re not playing fair,” I groaned.
He chuckled and pressed his hips against my ass again so that I could feel his arousal. “I just didn’t want you to go thinking I didn’t want you,” he whispered. “Because I may be a gentleman right now, but make no mistake, darlin’... When I fuck you again, you won’t be able to walk straight the next morning. You’ll remember exactly what it feels like to be worshipped by a man who cares about your pleasure. I’ll happily spend hours with my tongue in your sweet, little cunt to prove my point.”
“Are you sure you don’t want that right now?” I panted, squirming against his erection.
And then he was gone, leaving me hot and desperate and squirming. I spun around to see him walking backward with a wicked grin. His cock pressed against the zipper of his jeans. I wanted to free it, to take it in my hand and stroke his delicious length. “Oh, I do, but I like this, too. Seeing you undone for me is something I’ll never tire of. Hell, maybe I just wanna see you beg a little.”
I’d do it right now if I thought it’d make a difference. God, how I wanted him. It was a need unlike any other.
“But—”
“No,” Lincoln said, shaking his head. He held out his bandaged hand for me to take. “Now, I’m gonna walk you back to the house—probably stealing a kiss or two on the way—and say goodnight because you are way too fucking tempting.”
And that’s exactly what he did.
He took my hand and led me from Dad’s office, kissing me five times before we’d made it to the door. Each time his lips brushed mine, I felt my walls crumble a little bit more, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t mind the destruction it left in its wake.