Chapter 2
Two
C annon Knodel flipped his phone back and forth in his hand. End over end.
Lauren had left a short note, packed a few things, and left.
End over end.
He held the note in his other hand. It didn’t say much. He supposed that nothing it said was surprising, either. He just…felt surprised anyway.
He pressed his lips together and continued to flip the phone while pacing to the window and then going back.
She left yesterday. Which was interesting timing on her part, since she knew he would be gone overnight for a job in Chicago. He never turned down the Chicago jobs. They were more lucrative than anything else he had.
Being in Cincinnati, it was quite a drive, but he had more than one job. His reputation had spread, and he had jobs in Pittsburgh, Cleveland, and even down to Lexington, Kentucky.
But the Chicago jobs were the cream of the crop.
Most of the time, he sent a crew out, and it took them a couple of days. But as the owner of the business, he always showed up.
The paper crinkled in his hand, and he looked at it once more .
Dear Cannon,
I suppose it will be a relief to you to know that I’m moving out. Now that Mom’s gone, the apartment is empty without her and even emptier when you’re not around. I know you know I hoped to have children, and that doesn’t seem to be in the cards for us. Anyway, that’s not your fault.
You can do what you need to do. It’s fine. I understand. Let me know how you want to proceed.
I wish things could have been different.
Lauren
Cannon pursed his lips and gripped the paper tight, causing it to crinkle in his hands, as he walked back to the window, looking out at the back of the neighbor’s house. It wasn’t much of a view.
They could have upgraded. He was making good money now, and even without Lauren’s salary, they could have afforded a much nicer place.
Instead, the nest egg in their checking account had been growing bigger and bigger.
He needed to take some time to figure out investments, but he hadn’t done that because his business had been so busy. And so profitable.
Now, it looked like…it didn’t matter?
He wasn’t quite sure why she had left him a paper message.
She had his phone number. It wasn’t like she couldn’t have texted him.
Even if she decided that she wanted to talk.
Or that she wanted to meet somewhere, or that she just wanted to go out on a date.
When was the last time they’d gone out on a date?
Before her mother had come to stay. When she moved in, both of them knew that it was most likely going to end with the death of her mom.
Even though it had taken years. The doctors hadn’t had much hope from the beginning, and chemo had been harsh and long.
Her mom had rallied, beating back the disease to begin with, and Lauren’s hopes had lifted.
His had too. Her mom was impossible not to love.
Kind and effusive, friendly and energetic, she was like a carbon copy of her daughter, Lauren.
He’d fallen in love with Lauren, head over heels, the first time they met, when he had gone to put a security system in her neighbor’s home.
She’d been out tending a couple of saplings she’d planted in her backyard.
Her postage stamp-sized backyard. He had wondered why she even bothered.
With all the houses around, it was unlikely the trees were going to get any sunlight or thrive at all.
Still, she’d been happy and smiling and sweet, and he’d known that he didn’t want to live his life without her from that very first meeting.
But now, now it appeared that he was going to be living life without her anyway.
But why? What had he done wrong? What had changed?
Sure, they weren’t really talking, but she’d been busy with her mom, he’d been busy with his job, his business, trying to make sure all the bills were paid and…
riding the wave of prosperity. He figured that it probably wouldn’t last long, and he wanted to take advantage of it while he could.
He was doing it for them. Didn’t she know that?
He took a breath and then walked back to the middle of the kitchen floor.
It wasn’t far. The kitchen was small, as was the apartment.
Two bedrooms. One for his wife and him, one for her mother.
She had taken to sleeping in her mother’s room on a small cot once her mother had gotten bad sometime last year.
Maybe it was the year before. He didn’t know.
There was a part of him that had been a little relieved when the third pregnancy had ended in miscarriage.
Not that he was happy, just that he knew that they would have had to move, in amongst her mom’s treatments and his job and her caretaking.
After all, they didn’t have any family nearby to help.
It made sense to him, but Lauren had been devastated.
And he understood. Or at least thought he did.
He wasn’t happy that they had lost a child, but he didn’t see it as the end of the world.
Sure, it was her third miscarriage, but…
eventually things would work out. Surely.
And maybe God was just doing this so that they could have better accommodations when they actually did have a child.
Was he being uncaring or unfeeling ?
A couple of guys at work had laughed when he had mentioned it, and had said something about their wives not allowing them to think that way or something.
He hadn’t really paid attention. Lauren was the perfect wife. And he loved her with everything he had.
And now she was gone.
He sank slowly into a chair, still holding the paper. What was he going to do?