Chapter 40
Chapter Forty
Zev doesn’t come to bed that night.
Or the next night.
At first, I assume he’s angry with me, but on the third day, he arrives in the infirmary by early afternoon.
Sauzon quickly makes himself scarce.
“Hi,” I greet tentatively, twisting the sleeve of my gown.
He crosses the room in three long strides and pulls me into his embrace. I release a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
Relief floods through me, sharp and unexpected. The fear that I’d pushed him too far, that I’d ruined this fragile thing between us, had wrapped around me like a noose. But here he is—solid and warm. I melt into his arms, trying not to tremble.
“I’ve missed you,” he murmurs, drawing back to look at me. “Do you have time for a walk?”
Sunlight dapples the grass in shifting patterns as we wander through the gardens where we were wed. The air is crisp, leafy trees standing like sentinels around us, their branches heavy with golden leaves that rustle and drift.
“The Rebellion has waged three attacks in three days,” Zev tells me, his face drawn tight. “All on Arbinji bases.” He doesn’t say anything else, but the unspoken meaning is clear.
“Do you think Tundrayn is involved?”
“My father and brother do,” he admits, raking his teeth over his lower lip. “I’m not sure. Your father would be a fool to attack Arbinj while we have his daughter.”
I stiffen, footsteps faltering, and Zev quickly stops, stepping closer to cradle my face. “Hey. You know I’d burn down all of skiesdamned Arbinj to protect you, right?” A tender kiss brushed across my forehead. “But your father doesn’t know that.”
His words soften my heart, but still, my gut churns with worry. If the attacks are the work of the Rebellion, what will they do next? Attack the palace? Attack Tundrayn?
And if my father is involved, what does that mean for me?
“I don’t like being so far removed from what’s going on.” Bright yellow leaves crunch beneath my boots. “I want to attend council meetings with you.”
Zev winces, casting me an apologetic glance. “I swear by the Skies, Mayah, one day you’ll be beside me wherever I go.”
“But?” I prompt with a scowl. I try to unlace our fingers, but he refuses to relinquish his hold.
“But my father and brother already suspect Tundrayn’s hand in these attacks. And if they continue—which I’m certain they will—they’ll see you as a spy, feeding them information.”
I worry my lower lip between my teeth. Tides, he’s right. “What about your brother’s marriage to the Volcan princess?” I ask.
“Still up in the air. Their emissaries left weeks ago, but their queen still seems unwilling to ally with a kingdom plagued by Rebellion attacks.”
“I can’t blame them. Volca actually treats nonwielders fairly. Maybe if Arbinj and Tundrayn did the same, the Rebellion would leave us alone, too.”
“Maybe,” he murmurs. A shadow passes over his face. Zev is silent for the rest of our walk.
I snap Faerahzar shut with a stifled yawn—at last, finally finished. The thought of a young Zev curled on this very sofa beside his mother, rapt at tales of bravery, softens something in my heart.
I stretch, a wince tugging at me as the ache in my legs flares from the long day in the infirmary. My palms hover, glowing faintly, about to press healing warmth into the sore muscles, when the door opens and Zev steps into our chambers.
He stills, eyeing my glowing hands.
“What’s wrong?” he asks. His gaze is sharp, already scanning for injury.
I gesture to my legs. “I’m sore. From, um, standing.”
Tension seeps from his shoulders, and the corner of his mouth twitches. He tsks. “My poor baby healer. Can’t handle a bit of soreness?”
I roll my eyes, but the smile tugs at my lips anyway.
He disappears into the washroom. “Don’t waste your reserves,” he calls. “I’ll be right out.”
When he returns, a small bottle of oil glints in his hand. He sinks onto the sofa beside me and, without waiting for permission, draws my bare legs into his lap.
“Zev—” I start.
He uncorks the bottle with a soft pop. “Relax,” he says huskily, “Let me take care of you.”
Warm oil slicks his hands before they glide up my calves, thumbs pressing into the aching muscles with ease. A soft moan escapes before I can stop it.
“What are you doing?” My voice is already breathy—embarrassingly so.
“Easing your aches,” he says with a cocky smile, as though his hands aren’t undoing me with every stroke. “You don’t have to fix everything with your power. Some of our backwards methods are effective, too.”
He winks, and my heart forgets its job.
His fingers knead slow circles into my legs, working their way higher. Heat unfurls low in my belly. I try to stay focused, to stay rational, but it’s like trying to think through dense fog.
Be still, Mayah. Be strong. But my body isn’t listening.
“I don’t think your methods are backwards,” I manage. A sharp gasp slips free as he finds a particularly tight knot and presses into it.
His smirk is wicked. “No?” His hands slide up to my knees, his palms large and warm and unrelenting.
Higher.
Every inch he climbs feels like an unspoken question. And my silence is its own dangerous answer.
I swallow. “Any updates on the Rebellion?”
He hums, never slowing his movements. “They’ve taken more land on the Arbinj side.”
My brain barely registers the words. My world is narrowing—my thoughts a desperate chant: This is a mistake. This is dangerous. Keep control.
And yet, I don’t stop him.
His hands glide higher still, skimming the soft skin of my thighs, so close to the hem of my short nightgown, it makes my breath stutter.
“What about—what about Tundrayn,” I say, struggling to keep my voice steady. “My father—is he sending aid?”
“Two battalions to the border and a promise for another. Which was more than I expected.” He watches me closely as his fingers tease the lace at the edge of my gown. “I don’t think he wants to risk losing you.”
He says it casually, but a possessive edge sharpens his tone.
You’re not his to lose. You’re mine.
I clench my thighs, but he’s already there, massaging slowly, thoroughly, like he has nothing better to do.
“Any other aches I can help you with, wife?” His voice is velvet-wrapped sin.
I should say no. I should run. I should bolt to my feet and try to retain some of my dignity.
Instead, I stammer, “Let’s go to bed.”
He raises a brow. I flush. “To sleep! Just—to sleep.”
Zev’s chuckle chases me under the covers, but even in the dark, I lie awake for a long time.
Not thinking about the Rebellion or Tundrayn.
Not thinking about politics or my purpose here.
Only about the patient man beside me.