7. Chapter Six
Chapter Six
LACHLAN
After a walk down the beach, Lachlan and Beth sat below the sandbank. Speckles of light sparkled like diamonds on gentle ripples lapping onto the shoreline. Gulls flew against the bright blue sky, searching for a fish below.
Lachlan picked up a spotted shell next to him and flung it toward the water. Missed.
Would he miss an opportunity for something more with Beth? Since the cave encounter forty-eight hours ago, all he could think about was how he nearly kissed her. Where would an actual kiss have left them now? He was already craving her—imagine what two years of distance would be like? Misery.
“Have you ever wanted something you know isn’t good for you, and it hurts to choose the right thing?”
She nodded quietly.
“We have a lot of freedom in America . . .” He threw another shell. “But we have a strong patriotic culture that grounds us to our loyalties. We’re taught it from a young age.” He turned and studied her expression.
A tear formed in her ocean blue eyes. Man, he hated to hurt her. But he couldn’t lead her on.
“Remember I said that you’re a treasure? A rare find.” He swallowed. “I hope you hold onto that. Don’t let anyone steal that truth away from you. You’re valuable, Beth. A woman that any man would be stoked to spend a life with.”
“Thank you. And you’re going to make me cry now.” She swiped under her eye. “Why am I feeling so sad?”
Tears stung the back of his eyes too. What was going on with his heart? It was compassion. He’d caused her pain by giving her false hope that they could be more. The other day, he’d blubbered they could email because she looked miserable. She’d grown attached in a short time. What had she said at the community centre? Her dad didn’t need to worry about him. No way was Lachlan Peters the best thing for Bethany Michaels. She’d be waiting for years, and he had no plans to live in Australia. His home was in San Diego. Friends and family he missed, waited for his return.
He’d been in a long-distance relationship before, pining over someone he couldn’t have while overseas—a waste of emotional energy.
“So, this is goodbye, huh?” She said softly, barely audible.
“Beth . . .” He drew out a pause. “. . . about the cave.”
“Don’t.” She held up a palm and averted her gaze. “It’s okay, I understand.”
His stomach sank. “I’m sorry.”
Her wide eyes found him and she gave a tiny smile. “Hey, I want our last memories together to be good ones, not sad. I’m glad I met you.” Another weak grin. “We’ve connected because we both care about people, and you’ve encouraged me in what I do.”
“And you’ve been an inspiration to me, Bethany Michaels.” He brushed her chin with his thumb. Darn, he shouldn’t have touched her soft skin. The pull between them was not friend zone only. Who were they kidding?
“Man.” He ran his fingers over his short hair as he slumped onto his back, hitting the sand hard. Looking at the blue sky with scattered clouds, his mind raced, why is this so difficult?
Beth stood, and he listened to her steps crunch into the sand as she moved toward the water.
How long did he have left? An hour? He could go back to the ship earlier. He didn’t need to spend the whole time with Beth. But he wanted to savor every minute. He liked her company. He liked her . . . a lot. But not like this, seeing her disappointed. Maybe they could email now and then. Feelings would phase out as they moved on with their busy lives. Then it wouldn’t be hard. They didn’t have to say goodbye now. Not forever.
Right, he would enjoy these last moments, relax, be himself, and kick awkwardness aside.
He got up, swiped off the granules of sand, and rolled up the ends of his pants to join Beth by the water's edge.
“Hey.” He gently nudged her.
“Hey.” She gave a somber smile.
He placed his arm over her shoulder and pulled her in for a side-hug. They both looked out to the horizon, and he tilted his head, leaning gently on hers.
“I look forward to reading your emails when I’m on those rocky seas.” His voice became husky. “They’ll make my day, I bet.”
She smiled for real this time and looked up at him through thick lashes. Man, she was gorgeous. As natural as can be with little make-up. Her face—so close to his. He willed her to look away before he did something stupid.
But she didn’t. Instead, she turned into him, and the open trust and longing in her gaze compelled him to face her too. His hand swept into her sun-kissed hair, combing it away from her neck. His throat pulsed as his heart kicked into overdrive. She kept her gaze on him, willing for him to lead wherever this might go.
“Beth,” he whispered. He couldn’t say anymore with his suddenly parched mouth. He licked his lips, and her lashes fluttered. Was she waiting for him to finish what he’d just started?
He placed his hands on her shoulders and leaned his forehead against hers. He released a breath and closed his eyes. Then he slid his hands across her back and ever so slowly drew Beth into his embrace. His cheek rested against hers. She fit perfectly, molding into his body. I don’t want to let go, ever. Why had he signed another two years of his life away? He had no choice. He couldn’t shake loose of his commitments. He had a duty to his country. He was American. He didn’t belong here. But Beth felt so right, like she belonged with him.
Her palms left his waist and smoothed over his back, sending sweet sensations through him.
The intensity of her touch was too much. His hands mimicked hers, and he let himself follow the curve of her back, enjoying her delicate frame. How to come back to friendship from this? How could he look her in the eye and pretend the electricity between them was never there?
Seconds had passed, and he blinked from the trance, enraptured by Beth’s floral scent and her soft body pressing against his. He released his hold, she did the same, and he slid his hands down her arms as he took a step back.
“You’re something else.” He tapped her button nose and smiled. “Thank you for the hug. I . . .” He gulped air. “It was nice.” Too nice.
She laughed softly. “Yes, it was.” Beth flicked hair over her shoulder, turned to the view the water, and hugged herself.
Beth’s wavy hair swayed in the warm breeze. “Will you be in danger, Lachlan? How safe are your missions?”
“Fairly safe.” He stepped closer to her side, looking out to the ocean. “I’m assigned to a training ship. Guys like Wally are only starting their careers. But we occasionally get called into Emergency Relief situations with other countries. I’m a qualified counselor—that’s what I studied at college—so I’m on the ground helping people deal with grief and loss, sometimes with an interpreter.”
She glanced across to him. “I didn’t know that. You must find a lot of satisfaction in your job.”
“I do.”
A seagull circled near them, squawking as if asking for food. Beth flicked her hand, and it flew away.
“I’m glad to hear you’re not on a battleship or whatever you call it—war-related missions.”
“My mom and sister are too.” He smiled. “I try to keep them updated, but sometimes work gets hectic.”
“Do you still want to stay in touch with me?” Her eyes were wide with anticipation.
Had he led her to believe he didn’t? He touched the tips of her fingers. “Yes. I would like to.”
She faced him, collected his hand, and placed it onto her cheek. “Lachlan, it’s okay if you want to kiss me. It’s not a marriage proposal.”
He laughed nervously. If Beth only knew how much he wanted to. If not for his desperate hold on self-control, he’d scoop her up, carry her to the sandbank, and kiss the woman senseless. But he would return to the ship within the hour, and he needed to stay focused and disciplined. Kissing Beth now would be amazing, but he’d suffer later. Dreaming about her and missing her touch. Unnecessary torture.
He cupped her other cheek and gazed directly into her eyes. “Beth, if we meet again, I promise you, I’ll kiss you like there’s no tomorrow.” He smiled. “But today is not the day for that. I’ll be away for two years. I don’t want to do that to you, or me. Let’s stay friends. And who knows what the future holds? We can only live for today.”
Beth smiled sweetly. “I respect you, Lachlan. You’re a true man of honor.”
He agreed, but why did he hurt so bad?