Chapter 16
Elia
It’s hard not to enjoy the warmth of Callum’s body pressed against mine as we ride.
I’m still mad at him for the way he handled the aftermath of our kiss.
We’re both grown adults and if he regretted it, he only had to talk to me about it.
I’m nothing if not honest, and I expect the same from others.
Hanson and Ginna had told me not to hold it against him – that Callum had a terrible heartbreak some years ago and isn’t fully recovered.
I can understand that, and I’m excited for wherever he's taking me in hopes he tells me the full story. Maybe I’ll finally hear about his great love and the aftermath.
In the meantime, I bury myself further into Callum’s embrace, his arms wrapped around me while holding the reins.
“Do you have to…wiggle so much?” Callum asks in my ear, teeth gritted.
“Something the matter?” I peek over my shoulder at him, fluttering my eyelashes innocently. If he thinks I’m not going to pay him back for ignoring me in some type of way, he’s wrong.
And if he thinks I’m not enjoying his throbbing member against my ass, then he’s also very wrong.
“It’s not nice to tease, Siren,” he murmurs in my ear.
Goosebumps erupt across my body. “Don’t know what you mean.”
Callum nips at my ear lobe, breath hot against my neck. I stop the moan that’s working its way up my throat. He bends to press his lips against the base of my neck.
“Two can play this game, Elia, darling.” This time a low moan escapes me before I can prevent it. I may have started this game, but I’m realizing now that I’m not going to win.
I shift my hips slightly forward, relieving some of the pressure against Callum. Callum removes a hand from the rein and places it on my lower stomach, pushing me flat against him again.
“Surrendering already?” His chuckle vibrates against my skin.
“I know when I’m losing,” I admit, not ashamed in the slightest of how breathless I sound.
He makes a low laugh again, and the sound rushes through me, from my head all the way to my toes.
I love this flirty, playful side of Callum.
It’s like seeing what he might have been like before his heart was shattered.
Maybe it’s selfish of me, but I like to believe I’m helping him rediscover that part of himself, too.
We ride for maybe a half hour more before the smell reaches me. I abruptly sit up, ungluing myself from Callum, peering into the distance. The lavender scent is ever so slight, but the air only ever smells like that when near a –. I gasp. A lavender field. Callum has brought me to a lavender field.
The horse is halted to a stop, and Callum gracefully dismounts, holding out a hand to help me down.
Tears prickle in the corners of my eyes, and I will them away.
As Callum reaches for the saddlebag, I close my eyes and let the scent overwhelm my senses.
I’m taken back to the field near my farm, to my place of escape.
It was my place to relax, to get out of my head. To pretend I was anyone else except me.
And Callum had understood that, read through the lines I shared with him, knew that lavender fields held a sense of comfort to me. No one had done any kind of gesture for me like this before, and it was hard to keep my emotions in check.
“I thought we might have a picnic here,” Callum informs me, and I see he packed a blanket, some food, and a bottle of wine.
He takes my hand and leads me to a small clearing in the midst of the tall lavender.
“I know the owner of this land, and we’re welcome to stay as long as we want.
And you’re welcome to take as much lavender as you want back, too.
In case you wanted to make any of your apothecary items that you talked about. ”
Callum spreads out the blanket and places the food and wine down before taking a seat, lounging out and leaning back on his elbows.
He gazes up at me so earnestly, and it’s as if I’m balancing precariously on a cliff, one foot off the ledge.
If I take that step, I know I’ll fall and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to recover from it.
Callum pats the empty spot on the blanket next to him. “Elia? Are you okay?”
I dazedly join him on the blanket, opening and then closing my mouth. No words seem to come.
“Oh no, I’m so sorry. This was a terrible idea, wasn’t it?” Callum panics. “Please don’t cry, I’ll try again.”
I reach for my face, pulling away when I find my hand is wet. I didn’t realize my tears had escaped.
I will myself to speak. “No, this is…” I struggle to put my thoughts into words. “Perfect,” I land on. “Happy tears.”
Callum’s grin stretches from ear to ear, dimple pronounced. He lifts his hand to gently brush the tears from my face. “We can come here anytime you want. You only have to say the word.”
“Thank you, Callum.” I manage to croak out. “This is wonderful. No one’s ever done something like this for me.”
“I’d give you everything in the world, Elia. For you to be happy.” He presses a small kiss on my forehead.
“Aurelia,” I speak so quickly and quietly I’m not sure he heard.
“What?”
“My full name is Aurelia Marrow.”
“Aurelia,” Callum breathes. He makes my name sound so elegant and refined. “Why didn’t you tell me that when we met?” He doesn’t sound upset, only curious.
“Aurelia was what my parents called me on the farm. Clover was the name I unfortunately earned at camp.” I pause, staring at the pattern on the blanket.
“Elia was the name I was able to give myself. To start over.” A fresh start.
That’s what Callum had told me, and at the time it seemed appropriate to have a new name to go along with that.
“Thank you for telling me, Elia.” I’m glad he understands that I don’t want to go by Aurelia, even now that I told him.
“Don’t let me regret it,” I answer back nervously.
Callum leans back to his original position and stares at the clear sky for a minute. I cross my legs, watching as the breeze rustles through the lavender, scattering the scent.
“Rafael.” He blurts out after several minutes. “He went by Rafe, but that’s the man I was hopelessly, desperately in love with.”
He steals a glimpse of me at the corner of his eyes, like he’s expecting a reaction out of me.
He won’t get one. I already had the inclination from Hanson and Ginna that his ex was a man, and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I’d been around all different people and couples in the camps, so nothing is new to me.
People are free to love whomever they choose.
I stare at him expectantly, giving him a silent encouragement to continue.
“I’m sure you’ve probably put it together, but Rafe is the Ashven Prince, King Corvin’s son.
He grew up in the palace with Ginna and me.
We’d been best friends since childhood. We did everything together.
” Callum pauses. “I was maybe sixteen or seventeen when I started having feelings for him.
I probably had a crush on him well before then, but I was stubborn and in denial.
We both had our first kisses with girls, and Rafe never gave the inclination that he would be into me, too.
“Then, one day we snuck out of a ball that was happening and slipped up to the west tower. We were both a little tipsy on wine, and one thing led to another, and we kissed that night. We were never the same since. We fell in love. He was my everything. And I thought I was his.”
I placed my hand over his on the blanket. I thought I would be a bit more jealous than I am – he spoke about Rafe so reverently it was obvious how strong his feelings were. But instead, I find the story beautiful, a love I could only hope to have one day, too.
“What happened?” I prod Callum gently, after he fell noticeably quiet.
This was my biggest fear with love. Love can be so powerful between partners, family members, and friends.
And yet it’s never guaranteed to be permanent.
My familiar love was so shattered I still haven’t fully processed it.
And Callum and Rafe, two people allegedly head over heels for each other, didn’t last. If I continued whatever this thing was between Callum and I, what hope could we possibly have?
Callum takes a deep breath before continuing.
He threads his fingers through mine. “We weren’t always perfect.
We had to keep our relationship quiet for a myriad of reasons.
Only Hanson and Ginna knew. And Claudia.
But servants talked and rumors spread. The King was furious.
But we mainly ignored all the gossip and hate.
” He shrugs. “‘Blinded by love’, Ginna used to joke. Then one day out of the blue, Rafe told me he had to leave – some emergency with his sister. Of course, I understood and didn’t stop him from leaving.
But he swore he would return. For me. For us.
” His fingers grip my hand tighter. “But he never did. That was five years ago.”
“What? Did something happen? Maybe he –”
“No. We didn’t fight. He wasn’t injured. Later he sent a letter to Ginna stating he wasn’t coming back. And that was that.” Callum swallows. “I guess he never felt as strongly for me as I did for him.”
“I’m sure that’s not true. You weren’t misinterpreting anything. Something probably came up…” I trail off, not sure why I’m defending Rafe. Five years without so much as a note to Callum is cruelty in its worst form. Five years of Callum wondering what went wrong. Blaming himself.
“I closed myself off when I found out he wasn’t returning. Ignored Hanson and Ginna and threw myself into hunting relics. I didn’t so much as look at anyone else.”
He tilts my chin up towards him. “And then you came along.”
My breath hitches.
“Meeting you felt like coming home to a warm fire after being out in the rainy cold. This ray of sunshine that shone through even the darkest of clouds.” His fingers trail down my neck, and I can’t help but shudder, wanting his fingers to dip lower.