Chapter 23
Callum
There are times in your life that stay with you forever. Events that change and shape you and define the path in front of you.
Seeing Elia in that state of shock was one of them.
This was a side of myself I didn’t want Elia to see.
The part of me that was forced into me by the King since I was a child and haven’t been able to shed.
Only Ginna and Hanson, who had trained with me and hunted with me all these years, know this other side.
The one that, against everything in my body screaming otherwise, secretly enjoys the thrill and violence of a fight.
It’s as if there’s two separate people living within one body – the Callum who wants to love and be cared for, the one who loved Rafe, the one who’s falling for Elia, and then the Callum who is desperate for the affection of the only father figure in his life, willing to fight and kill his way to the top to show he’s not useless and soft.
The longer I stay a Hunter, the longer the first version hides away in the recesses of my mind.
I peer closer at Elia again, who hasn’t moved from where she’s standing, and my focus now is immediately honed to the pool of red on her dress sleeve that’s growing bigger the longer I stare.
“Elia!” I rush towards her, and flinch as she instinctively takes a step back.
I can’t blame her for doing so.
But now that I’m within arms distance, I can see the piece of wooden debris that’s pierced her arm and notice the other scratches on her face that are dripping blood.
“You’re hurt, Siren. I know you’re scared of me right now, but I need to get you some help.”
Her sleeve is almost completely crimson now, and her skin has lost almost all color to it.
Elia remains silent and unmoving. Her eyelids flicker, and I catch her right as she collapses into my arms.
???
Elia is sleeping peacefully. When she fainted, presumably from blood loss and shock, I hurried her to my room.
The ship’s medic had helped to remove the shrapnel from her arm.
I had thought it was severe enough to need stitches, but after the medic had cleaned the wound, it was no more than a scratch.
I’m at the edge of her bed, watching as her chest slowly rises and falls. I hold one of her cold hands in mine, rubbing my thumb back and forth across her skin.
The reality of the situation weighs heavy on my chest. Elia could have been killed in that explosion. I don’t know what I expected in bringing her on this trip. Ginna and I should have gone alone – it was selfish of me to want her by my side. And when it all happened, I wasn’t even at her side.
I could have lost her today.
I still might after what she saw, too. If Elia looks at me differently after all this, which I wouldn’t blame her for, my heart would be broken yet again. And again it was my foolishness that caused it.
Elia stirs and her hand moves slightly in mine. Her eyes flutter open, and those rainbow eyes pierce through the storm inside.
“Elia?” I scoot closer, trying not to jostle her in the process. I lightly brush the dark hair away from her face, stroking slowly, savoring as if this is the last time I have the privilege to do so.
She opens her mouth and wets her lips with her tongue. I hand her some water.
“Thanks,” she murmurs, licking her lips at the water that lingers there.
“How are you feeling?”
Her eyebrows furrow together tightly. “What happened?”
“You were hit with some debris in the explosion and then passed out from the shock. The medic cleaned you up, though, and you should be fine. Hardly a scratch.”
She moves her wrapped arm experimentally, as if surprised it moved so easily.
“I’m fine. A bit tired, though.” Elia stares directly at me, as if trying to see if I was still the person she knew.
I decide to go ahead and address the tension that hangs heavy in the room. “I’m sorry if I scared you. I didn’t want you to see that side of me.” I swallow, trying to clear the lump that’s forming in my throat.
She is still scrutinizing my face. Her hand lifts to trace the curve of my jaw.
“I…I was surprised, that’s all.” Her hand falls back down to her side. “I’ve never seen that type of…violence before.”
“I know, and I’m sorry, and I never want you to experience that again. I promised that I would take care of you and –”
“And you did,” Elia finishes for me. She flashes me one of her radiant smiles and my heart thrums a little. “You saved me and the crew. And the ship. And this whole trip.”
She laughs. “Here I was assuming that the hunt for relics was an easy job. Of course you run into trouble. Of course you know how to fight. You spent every morning training with Ginna and Hanson. I guess I should have put two and two together.”
“I should have explained everything better so this wouldn’t come as a shock. You’d be surprised at how often these kinds of things happen to us. Once people realize we found or are searching for a relic, they assume we are fair game.”
She nods slowly. “It makes sense. I was…taken aback. I don’t like fighting or violence. I saw enough of it in the Traps.”
“Me neither.”
That response surprises her.
“Why do you do this job, then? It’s a more involved job than I had thought, and if you don’t enjoy that aspect of it, why are you still a Hunter?”
The question catches me off guard. My thumb moves back and forth more rapidly across the back of Elia’s hand. There are many different answers to her question, and I’m not sure which to choose.
I close my eyes briefly before answering with the safest, but still honest, answer. “It doesn’t matter if I like it or not. I owe the King my life. I told you my story – I’m forever in his debt.”
I scoff. “Sacrificing your entire life for something you don’t even like isn’t the same as him being a decent person. He provided for his own stepson, as he should have done. A child doesn’t owe a parent for doing the bare minimum. That’s the role of being a parent.”
Silence stretches between us.
“It’s…it’s not like that. It’s complicated.”
“Doesn’t seem to be.” She crosses her arms, careful to not brush her wound.
I look away.
My relationship with the King is complicated. I don’t expect others to understand.
“I was scared that I lost you,” I whisper, trying to move the topic elsewhere.
Elia squeezes my hand tightly. “Never. But maybe you should consider something else, after this trip. Make this your last hunt.”
“I’ll consider it,” I acknowledge softly, but we both know her suggestion fell on deaf ears.
“At least I know that a kraken wouldn’t stand a chance against you, afterall.”
I don’t know how she can still joke after seeing me slaughter the men so coldly, but I’m thankful regardless.
“I told you I would keep you safe. Always. Now get some rest. I’ll be back later once I help with the mess upstairs.”
I kiss her on her forehead and leave her to sleep, rejoining Ginna and the rest of the crew in their clean up efforts.
“Ginna, do you like being a Hunter?” I ask her, after heaving the last wrapped body into the sea beyond.
She shrugs. “Sure. I mean this part isn’t fun,” she admits, waving a hand to some of the crew who are scrubbing blood from the planks. “But I like traveling to new places. I like the adventure and excitement of being on a new hunt. And I like to think I’m a pretty decent swordswoman.”
When I don’t immediately respond, Ginna prods me. “What brought that question on, Cal?”
“Something Elia asked. It’s nothing.”
“I thought you loved this job. You practically wanted to be a Hunter since you were born.”
I exhale and lean both elbows on the railing, watching the waves crash into the side of the boat.
“I did. I do. I….” I groan in frustration, dropping my head in my hands. “I don’t know.”
Ginna places a hand in between my shoulder blades. “Well, you have time to figure that out before we return to Ashven. No one’s making you stay a Hunter.”
I make a noncommittal sound in response.
Because that’s where she’s wrong. I forged a path for myself so long ago, that I’ve become trapped in it. My future is planned for me, whether I like it or not.