Chapter 25
Callum - Five Years Ago
“Sir?” I cross the threshold into King Corvin’s office in trepidation. “You wanted to see me? He almost never called for me directly, so I wasn’t expecting this to be good news.
The King stands behind his desk’s chair, hands clasping the tall back.
I could tell he’d been in that position for some time. Waiting for me.
“Haven’t I been good to you, Callum?”
His question takes me by surprise. “I – Sir?”
“Haven’t I given you anything a bastard like you could want? More than a bastard deserves?”
I’m sensing these to be rhetorical questions, so I let him continue with his tangent.
“I’ve permitted you to grow up in the palace. Granted you the position of the King’s Lead Hunter. Introduced you to as many nobles and dignitaries as I could. Elevated you to a status that no other bastard in this world has received!”
My heart beats furiously as I wait for the other shoe to drop, sweat forming at the back of my neck.
“And yet none of that is good enough for you. You are so willing to throw all that away for one person. Rafael.”
I still. My heart has dropped into my feet. Rafe and I have been very careful. No one outside of Ginna, Hanson, and Claudia knows about us – and none of them would rat us out.
He must read that on my face as he continues. “You don’t think I have my spies all over the place? You must be more stupid than I thought, boy. Go fuck a whore if you need to. But I won’t have rumors surrounding Rafael and tainting him with your…proclivities.”
“It’s my fault, sir,” I stammer. “Rafe had nothing to do with it. I came on to him –”
“Enough!” The King yells, banging a fist on the chair. “Of course it’s you! You’re always a thorn in my side. I should have left you in the gutter where you belonged. Same with your whore of a mother.”
“I’m sorry. Nothing will happen again.”
“I know it won’t. And you know how I know?” His eyes twinkle malevolently.
Fear is taking over my entire body, but I refuse to have the King see me cower. If he needs to take his wrath out on me, so be it. It’s nothing new. If I can spare Rafe any pain, no matter how big or small, it will be worth it.
Rafe is the best part of me. The only glimpse of sun in my otherwise dark life. And I refuse to let him be dragged down to hell with me.
The King walks over to the door leading into his bedchambers and opens it wide.
“Place your hands on the frame,” The King points.
I take a deep breath before doing exactly as he says. I place both my hands on the doorframe. I focus on Rafe, picturing his crooked smile and the sound he makes when I kiss his sensitive spot behind his ear, as I brace myself.
The King slams the door shut with all his might, and I hear the crack of bone. All at once, pain radiates through my hands. The king pushes the door into my already mangled hands again for good measure.
The only good thing about all the trainings and sadistic rituals the King has made me a part of is the fact that I don’t release a single cry of pain.
I bite down on my tongue until the taste of copper floods my mouth, but I don’t scream or cry.
The King lowers his mouth to my ear. “If you ever so much as look at my son again, it will be both your hands and his. And next time, I’ll cut them off.”
Only when I return to my room alone do I allow my tears to fall.
???
One week later…
My door creaks open without a knock, and I know it’s Rafe before I see him.
I’ve been avoiding him for the last week.
I made Ginna pass a note to him in my absence, writing that we needed to lie low for a while as someone had found out about us.
Rafe was reckless enough that I knew that wouldn’t hold him off forever.
“Cal?” Rafe approaches me where I’m sitting in the oversized chair by the fire in my room.
He’s been growing both his beard and hair out, beard reaching past his chin now and his hair not quite long enough to be pulled back. Rafe is truly handsome, in a rugged type of way, and I can’t help but to appreciate his appearance.
After our first kiss many years ago, we’d become inseparable. We had always been best friends, but the new romantic level to our relationship was indescribable. He brought me a peace I had never felt before. Made me believe in a better version of myself.
And I might have to ruin it all because of the King.
I hadn’t yet decided on what I was going to do. On one hand, I knew the King’s threat was very real and being with Rafe was a risk to the safety of both of us. On the other hand, without Rafe in my life, life wouldn’t be worth living.
I quickly plaster what I hope is a pleasant expression on my face and pull a blanket over my lap, hiding my hands under the fur. “Hello, Rafe.”
Rafe casts me a ‘cut the bullshit’ look. “Are you going to tell me what happened?”
I could never hide much from Rafe. Even when I had to feed him lies, he saw through me like glass.
“I’ve been busy with work. Not much going on. How have you been? Were you able to meet with that dignitary from Marsai this week?” I keep my tone as upbeat and nonchalant as possible.
Rafe sits in the chair across from me, rubbing his temples.
“Why do we always have to do this?”
“Do what?”
“This!” Rafe throws his hands up in frustration. “This game of me asking you what’s wrong. You feeding me some bullshit I never believe. And the cycle continuing.”
“Nothing’s wrong, Rafe. I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to see you this week. Like I wrote in my note Ginna gave you, someone –”
“Take the blanket off, Callum.” Rafe using my full name is a slap to the face. I didn’t understand the extent of his anger until now. He hasn’t uttered my full name since we were children.
“I’m fine. Please. Just let this go.” My voice sounds more snappish than I intended.
That was the wrong response. Rafe stands up and rips the blanket off me roughly, and I can’t hide the immediate burst of pain that flashes across my face as the fabric moves against my healing hands.
The injury to my hands is now undeniable, bandages wrapped tightly around them. Rafe’s face glows in the firelight, eye twitching as he takes in my condition.
“I’ll ask you this one more time,” Rafe demands coolly. “What. Happened.”
I open my mouth to respond, but Rafe cuts me off. “Think hard about what you’re going to say. If it’s anything but the truth, save it.”
I take a deep breath. “My hands were slammed in a door.”
That was the truth. And luckily Rafe acknowledges that with a slow nod.
“Both of them? How did you manage that?”
This is a trickier question to answer truthfully.
“By making a poor judgment call.”
That’s not technically a lie. Maybe it’s not the whole story, but it wasn’t not the truth.
Being reckless with Rafe around the King’s supposed spies was poor judgment in my case. We should have been more careful. More aware of our surroundings.
We were so caught up in being in love we forgot about the consequences.
Rafe waits for me to elaborate, and when I don’t, he rubs his temples. He kneels in front of me and presses a chaste kiss on the back of my bandaged hands.
“Why do you push me away like this?” His gaze is so earnest and innocent, and I can’t seem to meet his eyes. “You know I love you, Cal. But I can’t keep this cycle going. You have to let me in. Please.”
A sob lodges in the back of my throat, and I cough to clear it. “I’m trying, Rafe. I just need some more time.”
This isn’t the first time we’ve had this conversation. Rafe is so honest to the point of being blunt, and he doesn’t understand why I can’t share every aspect of my life with him.
This time is different, though. Rafe sounds dejected.
“Please, babe.” I want to comb my fingers through his hair, pull him into a kiss and have the scratchiness of his scruff caress my shaven face. But my hands remain useless, so I resort to the pet name I call him only in the confines of our bed. The one I know he secretly loves.
Rafe swallows. “Okay. I’ll give you some time. Get some rest. I’ll have one of the medics check in on you later.” He presses a kiss to the top of my head as he rises to leave. “I love you, Callum.”
“I love you too, Rafe.”
It turned out that the King didn’t need to worry about me and Rafe anymore, anyways.
Because Rafe left me one week after that, without looking back.