Chapter 28
Elia
Callum’s ex is a piece of work. Based on how Callum talked about Rafe, I would have pictured someone completely different. Not a long-haired scruffy pirate dressed in all leather. The only thing I was right about is that he’s tall, dark, and very handsome.
But he has a terrible personality. I didn’t necessarily expect a happy reunion of course, but I did expect less hostility and anger. Rafe was even rude to Ginna, who was supposedly one of his best friends, too.
And what Callum overheard Rafe say when he was eavesdropping…
Callum didn’t deserve that.
“How are you holding up?” I ask Callum.
He stopped crying shortly after he started, composing himself as if he wasn’t allowed to show that much emotion. Instead, he’s now pacing back and forth in front of the fire, hands clenched into fists by his side. I wanted to ask him if he was okay, but clearly he’s not.
He’s coming face to face with the person he loved, who was the same person who abandoned him.
I empathize with him. It would be like me meeting my parents again. The same questions that echo through my head, all the what ifs and whys, are now coming to the foreground in Callum’s mind since seeing Rafe again.
Callum stops pacing. “Better. Maybe?” He groans and settles into the chair. “I thought I was over him. I am over him. But seeing his face… it brought up all these emotions in me that I can’t seem to shake.”
“You never forget your first love, Callum. And that’s okay. You’re allowed to express whatever emotions you’re feeling. You don’t have to be strong for anyone, especially not for me.”
“How are you so calm through all this? The man you’re falling in love with is falling apart at seeing his ex, and yet here you are, by my side. You’re the only reason I haven’t collapsed yet, but yet if you were anyone else, you’d be running the opposite direction.”
I understand his question. Truly. I’m sure it does seem weird to outsiders that I would want to love a man who clearly still has some lingering feelings for his ex.
But for whatever reason, Callum’s love towards Rafe only makes me fall for Callum more.
Their tension, despite Rafe being a dick, showed me the love that they once shared.
No one is that angry at the other unless they cared first. I can picture the beauty that was in their relationship, and I don’t want to destroy that, but fix it.
My entire life I’ve felt unloved and lonely, and I’ve come to cherish any small forms of affection, even if it’s between others.
What I won’t mention to Callum is how surprisingly hot that tension between them made me. When they were quipping at each other, I half wanted one of them to shove the other against the wall and make-out, punishing each other with their lips. And if I happened to be pressed between them…
“Elia?”
I realize I haven’t answered Callum’s question, lost in my own fantastical thoughts.
I lick my lips, buying time as I try to figure out the best way to respond.
“Rafe is a part of you,” I state simply. “And I’m falling in love with you. Which means every part of yourself, Rafe included. I would never take a part of yourself away.”
“I don’t want to mess up what we have, Siren. I don’t want to do anything that will push you away.”
“You won’t. Take this opportunity to get the answers you need from Rafe, and we’ll take it from there, okay?”
Callum comes over to kiss me. “I don’t deserve you. But I’m so thankful that you’ve come into my life.”
“As am I.” I touch his lips once more with mine before the door swings open.
Rafe is back from escorting Ginna.
“This is my place, if you wouldn’t mind keeping the PDA out of it,” Rafe spits.
I arch an eyebrow up at him. If I’m to help mend Rafe and Callum’s relationship, I need to start first with Rafe.
“I thought we already established that this wasn’t your place, actually. Because if it was, the ring would be here, you’d have given it to us, and we’d be on our way once more.”
Rafe stares at me as if he’s seeing me for the first time. I have no doubt he dismissed me as soon as Callum declared I was his girlfriend, and I wasn’t about to let our relationship ruin fixing theirs.
“Fair enough,” Rafe agrees begrudgingly, tone lighter than it was.
No one speaks. The raucous conversation from downstairs and the occasional crackle from the fire is all that fills the air.
Rafe braves sitting on the stained rug, legs spread out with his arms propping him up behind him. He tries to pretend he’s staring at the ceiling, but he fails in his attempts. When he thinks no one is watching, I see him sneaking glances at Callum.
The silence reminds me of the carriage ride between Callum and I that was months ago now. We’ve come so far from that memory, with Callum trying to make awkward conversation with me.
I figure it’s time I repay him that favor.
“Why Sevrin?”
Annoyance crosses Rafe’s face as soon as I break the silence.
“What?”
“Why did you come here? Not that this isn’t an…interesting place, but it’s quite the contrast to Ashven.”
Callum’s still sitting, one leg crossed over the other, palms rubbing over his thighs, but I can tell he’s listening. He’s as curious as I am.
“Why do you care?”
“I am merely trying to make friendly conversation.” I throw Callum’s words to me in the carriage back at Rafe. “Plus call me curious.”
Rafe seems to be debating with himself on whether or not to answer.
“That’s one of the reasons why I chose it, because it’s so different from Ashven,” Rafe finally answers. “In Ashven, everyone always wore a mask, hiding their true expressions, emotions, and identities. No one was honest, and it was exhausting to figure out people’s real motives and attitudes.
“In Sevrin, what you see is what you get. The island isn’t hiding behind some facade of beauty, and there’s no desire or need to be anyone else. It’s real. Honest. Pure.”
Callum shuffles in his seat, and I can tell something Rafe said was directed towards him. Did Rafe believe that Callum was fake? Sure, I’d seen different versions of Callum, but everyone has different sides to them. No one is two-dimensional. And Callum is honest with me, or so I presume.
“The Traps were like that, too,” I respond, trying to keep the conversation flowing as much as I can. “For all the parts that were miserable, I always knew where I stood with everyone. Always knew my place.”
I appreciate the fact that Rafe wanted honesty. My time in the Traps had turned me into a very blunt person; there was no reason to lie, and everyone found out everything anyways. There was no real sense of security or self-preservation or privacy.
I hadn’t had a lot of time or opportunity to explore Ashven outside of the library, but I could imagine that it was a very political scene. And where politics were, liars emerged.
“The Traps?” Rafe asks.
“The labor camps in the desert. People call them the Sand Traps,” Callum interjects. “That’s where I found Elia.”
Rafe grunts in interest, but doesn’t respond to Callum.
So much for trying to mend their relationship.
The door slams open and Ginna appears, out of breath.
“Okay,” she pants. “Three horses are obtained and packed with our belongings.”
“Three?” Callum asks.
Ginna throws him daggers. “That’s all I could find at the last minute. You’re lucky we have any.”
“I’ll ride with Elia,” Rafe taunts, a smirk on his lips.
“Not a chance.” A growl escapes Callum’s mouth.
Rafe rocks back on his heels. “I want to hear more about her stint in the camp. It’ll be a good opportunity to get to know her.”
I know he’s only trying to push Callum and make him jealous, but this would be a good chance to talk further with Rafe, to see if I can’t push him to talk to Callum.
“I’ll be fine, Callum.” I plaster what I hope is a reassuring smile on my face. I clap my hands together. “Should we start moving then? While it’s still light out?”
???
As I slide in front of Rafe on the horse, I realize that agreeing to ride with him may have been a bad idea. His body is warm behind me and he smells of bergamot and leather, two scents I hadn’t thought would work together but very much do.
Rafe and I are in the front, leading the way, and Ginna and Callum follow our flank behind in a triangle formation.
Rafe shifts closer on the horse, body glued against mine, and tightens his arms around me that are gripping the reins.
“Stop trying to purposely upset Callum.” I try to shift away from him, but his grip is iron around mine.
“I don’t know what you could possibly mean.” His chest vibrates as he fails to stifle his laugh. “I’m only enjoying the ride.” Rafe grinds his pelvis into my backside as he says that.
“You’re a scoundrel,” I spit out.
“A pirate, some might say, actually.”
“Same difference.”
He laughs again. “You’re not what I would picture Cal’s girlfriend to be.”
“Oh? And what were you imagining?”
“Well, I’m honestly a bit shocked that Cal actually has a girlfriend. Not that we both don’t swing both ways, but still.”
“Well, he does.” I fight the urge to elbow him.
“I can see that. And secondly, I would have thought he’d end up with some submissive noble girl of the King’s choosing.”
“How do you know I’m not noble-born? Or submissive?”
A deep laugh tumbles out of Rafe. “Oh, you’re definitely not noble-born. You’re far too blunt for that, and no offense, your manners are atrocious in comparison. If you were raised in a noble family, you would have greeted me as ‘sir’, no matter who I was.”
I raise one shoulder. “Fair enough. I take that as a compliment.”
“As you should. As for being submissive,” Rafe lowers his mouth to my ear. “To be determined on that front, I guess. I bet you might enjoy being thrown around a bit and told what to do, if the circumstances were right.”
He casually leans back, as if his words didn’t directly go to my core, making me wet.
“Too bad for you that you’ll never find out.”
“We’ll see.” I can hear the smirk in his voice.
“Why are you so angry at Callum?” I decide to jump straight into the question I’ve been wondering. Rafe seems to appreciate my honesty, so I figured it couldn’t hurt.
“What relic are you hunting?”
“Those aren’t equal questions.” Neither Callum nor Ginna provided much detail to Rafe about the Eternity Stone, so I’m not sure if they’d want me to tell him.
“Both are questions that only Cal can provide the answer to.”
“Callum is the one who should be upset. You told him you loved him, and then you left him. And you never came back. Never told him anything!”
I’m getting heated now, my voice rising. I’m mad at Rafe for doing the same thing to Callum as my parents did to me. Abandoning someone they loved, never to return.
Rafe stills behind me. “You don’t know the full story.”
“Then tell me.”
“It’s not your problem.”
“What if I want it to be?”
“That’s enough for today, Elia.”
The tone of his voice told me that I had used up all my questions for the day. We ride together in silence until nightfall.