Chapter Twenty-Two
Adrian
B lake hops out of the car as I pull the gas pump out. I let my eyes take in her black leggings and ’90s crewneck for the millionth time tonight. “Where’d you get that?” I finally ask. It’s clear that it’s a well-loved, but taken care of, piece of clothing. It’s not something you’d get at Forever 21.
Dropping her eyes down for half a second, she leans into the passenger seat. Probably looking for something I assume, but at this angle, her cute bubble butt is jutting out. And yeah, I let myself look at that for the millionth time tonight too.
“My brother left it when he went to college, so I kept it.”
“I like it. I’m going to borrow it sometime,” I tease.
She shrugs and closes the car door. “Do I get to borrow yours?” She tips her chin toward my Space Jam hoodie. The thought of her small frame drowning in my anything lights my entire body on fire.
What I want to say is, you could have everything I own .
What I actually say is, “Do you even like the movie?”
She scoffs, and in a high-pitched voice that I assume is supposed to be Bugs Bunny, she quotes, “Why Michael, I thought you’d never ask!” She blushes at her own goofiness, and fuck, it’s cute. Everything about Blake teeters on the line between adorable and sexy as hell. And yet she somehow doesn’t realize the allure she has. At least on me.
She holds up her wallet like it’s a trophy. Must’ve been what she was looking for. “Want anything?”
“Just a water.” She nods and gives me a quick ‘cool,’ before turning on her toes and walking inside. I wish I could just watch her the entire time, forever, always. But to avoid looking like a total creep, I turn back to the gas pump.
When I’m climbing into the driver seat, I look to find Blake standing in one of the aisles except she’s not alone. There’s a group of about five girls, all around her age. Everyone looks happy and giggly except for Blake. I open my door right as her eyes meet mine.
The reminder I’m here doesn’t seem to bring her any sort of comfort. Instead, she just shakes her head lightly before dropping her gaze and backing down the aisle. I watch as she drops the water bottles on a random shelf, falling further into herself with each step.
Every instinct in me is screaming to get out. To go to her. To grab her, hold her, protect her. But she’s speed-walking to the passenger seat and locks the door before it even closes.
“Sorry about the waters,” she mumbles. No other explanation.
“It’s okay.” I slowly raise my hand, hesitating for only a second before wrapping it gently around the nape of her neck. She finally looks at me, and even though she’s trying to hide them, I can see the tears in her eyes. “Do you want to go home?”
She nods, avoiding eye contact again. I put the car in drive before immediately placing my hand back on her body. I grab her hand, interlacing our fingers and drop them in her lap. She doesn’t say anything for the rest of the ride, clutching my hand with both of hers and not fidgeting even a little the entire way. And in my core, I know to not push about whatever happened inside with those five girls. I also know that I can’t leave her when she’s this upset either.
I t’s an almost silent ride home. She’s holding on to my hand the entire time, as if it’s the only thing grounding her to this moment with me. And for now, that’s enough. At least until we get to her house.
Rolling to a stop next to the curb, I try not to let my avalanching concern overwhelm her more than she already is.
She doesn’t wait for me before opening her door and practically crawls out of my car. Glancing over her shoulder, she offers me a small smile that quickly morphs into unadulterated anger at the sight of me stepping out of the vehicle.
Good.
Be mad. Fight with me. Just feel something.
“I don’t want to talk about it, Adrian,” she snaps. “Just go back to your car.”
She’s about halfway to the front steps, and I’ve only made it to the curb when I stop. I don’t turn around though.
“Just,” her voice cracks, and her hands fly up to cover her eyes, “just leave me alone. Please. I thought I could do thi—” Her sobs overtake her, and maybe it’s from the entire day, but this morning didn’t trigger such strong emotions. This is different. This anguish is coming from her fucking soul .
With a few quick strides, I’m standing in front of her. I’m too afraid to touch her right now, so I just stand with her. I try to be a force of strength and comfort, and whatever else she needs, at the moment.
“Blake,” I say in a low voice, “I’m not going anywhere. We don’t have to talk about it, I just need you to know that we can. Not tonight. Not even tomorrow. You’re safe with me.”
“You don’t understand,” she hiccups.
“You’re right. I don’t understand, but I want to. I want to know everything about you. And I’ll give you all the same.”
“You say—” She tries to take a deep breath, except she can’t through the tears. “You say that now, but if you knew everything…” Still covering her eyes, she starts to frantically shake her head as her breathing grows more labored.
Closing the small space, but still keeping my arms at my side, I let out a pained sigh. “There’s nothing that would change my mind about you. I’m here for you in any way you’ll have me. This thing between us? It’s not so easily broken. I promise. I know you don’t trust easily, Blake, but I’m begging you to try with me.”
Leaning her head on my chest, I finally have the go ahead to wrap my arms around her—going for the hold that I’ve quickly realized I love for her—an arm tightly around her back and one hand tangled into her silky black hair. We stay like this for a bit. After a few minutes, in the smallest voice I’ve ever heard, she whispers quietly into my chest, “They made my life hell for years.”
I pull her in tighter, and sigh with relief when her arms finally lock around my waist. I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but it’s starting to make sense why Blake is so skittish around new people, and why she treats herself like some unimportant afterthought. I have a pretty good idea who those girls are, or at least what they were to Blake.
Nodding against the top of her head, I try my best to comfort her. “I was hoping it wasn’t anything like that,” I admit. “But you survived. You’re here.” So fucking gently, I slide my hands to her jaw and cradle her face like it’s the most precious treasure in the world. And I’m starting to think she may very well be. “I’m here now. You don’t have to survive anymore… you can live. You’re safe, Blake.”
“It doesn’t feel like it,” she whimpers and rubs a hand over her chest.
Placing my own over hers, I murmur against her hair, “I know. But it is. You’re home now. You’re here with me, and I’d never fucking hurt you. You’re safe now.”
Her face crumples as tears slide down her cheeks while she softly nods. She doesn’t believe the words yet, I just hope she trusts me enough to want to.
I drop my forehead to hers and whisper one last time, “You’re safe.”