Chapter Sixty
Blake
G etting back into the swing of courses and assignments has been easier than I expected it would be. According to my husband , he never doubted me for a second.
Even after three months of being married—almost to the day since we went to the courthouse with our families—the word makes me giddy. I never imagined what my wedding would look like, or daydreamed about what dress I would wear, or who’d be standing next to me.
I respect other people’s decision to declare their love for each other in whatever way is right for them, but it makes me want to break out in hives. Personally.
Sharing vows in front of the most important people in our lives, and having dinner at my parents’ afterward, felt like the right decision for us. And I made sure Adrian agreed. I would’ve sucked it up if it was what he needed, however he genuinely didn’t seem thrilled about the idea of a large party either.
I think we both just wanted to start our life together, so we did. In a weird way, it’s changed everything, while absolutely nothing at the same time.
The sound of doors opening as students flood out of the building pulls my attention to the lecture hall Adrian should be coming out of anytime now.
Even though we live and work together, we don’t see each other as much as I thought we would. He’s pulled back his hours at the clinic due to the labs and clinicals he’s taking, plus the undergrad class he’s a TA for. Since I applied so late into the spring, my schedule is kind of all over the place this semester with classes ranging from seven a.m. some days to eight p.m. others. It leaves me with limited spare time.
Because of that, we spend any overlapping break together—whether it’s just doing our individual workouts and grabbing lunch or studying in the library with a coffee. Today, it’s the former.
The butterflies that still accompany the sight of him hit me as soon as he takes his first step out of the building and the autumn sun reaches his deep mahogany skin.
His brows are drawn as he listens to the girl next to him and that’s when my stomach drops. Most days, I feel so far past any trust issues I have and none of them have ever involved Adrian. So, my dread doesn’t have anything to do with him, or his actions.
It has everything to do with the tall, blonde woman who’s walking next with him and talking animatedly. By most people’s standards, she’s objectively beautiful. But the sight of her Disney Princess face will always make me want to vomit.
I don’t. Though that adrenaline-filled shaking in my legs starts—the one that’s telling me to run far, far away from this situation.
Standing, I clumsily grab my bag and start moving. Only I’m not going away from the scene. I’m walking right to them as I watch her grubby little hands reach out to squeeze my husband’s bicep. The same one I held onto while he made love to be me, in our bed, this morning.
Sliding up to his side, I open my mouth to say something, but any words shrivel in my throat as soon as recognition crosses her features.
“Hey,” Adrian says affectionately, not yet picking up on the tension.
Trying to smile up at him, knowing it’s a dead giveaway that somethings wrong, I quietly respond, “Hi.”
Clearly not reading the room, Morgan cuts in, “Uh, I was talking to my TA, Blake .” She spats my name like it’s a slur.
I feel Adrian look down at me, and I know he’s smart enough to realize that this random girl from the lecture he’s a teacher’s assistant in, is one of three girls who—for almost half of it—made my life hell.
I don’t know if it’s the fact that I don’t want Adrian to see her still bullying me, or that she doesn’t have a group of minions to push me into the nearest pool. More than anything, I think I’m just so fucking over this. And her.
“Last I checked, class was over, and office hours are tomorrow.” She scoffs, ready to rip into me, but her mouth just hangs open when she sees the ring on my left hand, as I slide it around his bicep. “I’m meeting my husband for lunch.”
Slipping his arm out of my hold, only to wrap it around my shoulders and pull me in closer, he gives Morgan a neutral look. And from Adrian? That’s practically a death wish. “It’s probably best if you take any further questions to Dr. Phillips or one of the other TAs.”
Leaving her in embarrassment and shame for once, Adrian and I turn away, easily falling into step with each other. I hold it together long enough to round a corner out of the main walkway, before the adrenaline crashes, and the tears start.
“Come here, baby,” Adrian murmurs and pulls me under a staircase. He usually only calls me baby during sex, though sometimes it slips out, in the moments I need the deepest comfort.
Falling into his embrace, I let the tears fall and focus on my breath. After a couple of minutes, Adrian uses the hand at the base of my neck to turn my eyes up to his. “What do you need?”
Closing my eyes, it pushes the last lingering tears over as Adrian gently wipes each one. “I don’t know why I’m crying,” I rasp in a small voice. Not sure why I say it. I know the exact reason.
Adrian does too because he tells me, “It’s the adrenaline. That’s all.”
Nodding, I take a deep breath and try to articulate how I’m feeling. “Yeah, no. I know. I’m not even upset… I mean, it sucks to be reminded of those years.” The word vomit starts, but Adrian just softly cups my neck and lets me work out my thoughts. “I think… for the first time, I understand what Catalina has been trying to help me see.”
“What’s that?” he quietly asks, leaning his forehead against mine.
“My life is going to be so much bigger than those years. Even just the last three months with you has made it feel almost unimportant. I’ll always be who I am because of those years…” I trail off, scrunching my eyebrows and feeling like I’m not making sense.
“I want you to be who you are, and whoever that is tomorrow, and the next day.”
Letting out a sigh of relief, I get to the point. “I’m not upset. I’m just tired. I’m ready to move on and really leave that part of my life behind.”
A soft, proud gleam reaches his eyes. “You’re going to make yourself the happiest girl in the world, and I’m here to love you through every second of it.”
Smiling up at him, tears reach my eyes again, happy ones this time. “You’ll have to change it to ‘Sunshine soon.’”
“Nah,” he disagrees and drops his hand to the silver charm I’ve worn every day since last December. He repeats the words he said to me the first afternoon we spent together, a little over a year ago now, “I’ve always liked rain more.”