Chapter 19
Kylian
Blink, blink, blink.
My eyes are open, and yet I see nothing but darkness.
Pitch black nothingness, the void I’ve been shouting into since I was ten years old.
Murmurs, muted and mumbled words float overhead, their meaning out of reach.
My father’s deep voice, gently soothing my inconsolable mother.
I sit outside the door, wearing my nightgown and holding my teddy bear, my cheek pressed to the wood paneling.
Karter sits next to me and wraps his arms around my shoulders.
Our mother’s sorrow leeches through the walls, infusing the air and wrapping its tendrils around our hearts.
My brother cries but my cheeks remain dry.
Lightning flashes overhead and I’m standing in a field of wild grass.
The wind whips around me, tossing my hair in my face.
I see my mother’s bear walking into the trees.
“Momma!” I scream at her back. She mustn’t hear me.
The storm is too loud. My voice is lost in the pouring rain.
Running after her, the wet grass cuts my bare legs as I scream over and over again, “Momma!”
She doesn’t stop, she never looks back, she disappears into the trees.
It’s dark again. I’m back in the void, not looking in but immersed in it. A woman sings and little boys chatter. Hope blooms. My heart swells. Love, happiness and contentment are within reach. I put my hands out and take measured steps, searching for a place to land.
Crying, roaring, growling, screaming, silence.
I wipe back the tears falling as something approaches, its faint image being the only thing to see in the darkness.
My foot hits something, bouncing me back a few steps.
Standing up, a bear stares back at me. But no, I am my bear looking at our reflection.
I turn to the left. I turn to the right.
She is I and we are one. Pushing my snout against the mirror, I breathe out, fogging and distorting our image.
Hey you. I smile even though my heart is heavy.
The bear’s head tilts when mine does not.
You’re just as beautiful as I imagined you would be. My mother’s voice enters my head.
Momma?
I watched you. I watched all of you. My beautiful babies.
You left, I spit, anger and betrayal clenching my heart.
She hangs her head. I’m sorry, sweet girl. My heart broke, and I gave up.
You had six other children who needed you. The words are hot and acidic on my tongue.
I know. I tried to come back, but it was too late. I couldn’t… I can’t remember how to shift, so I watch from afar.
You could’ve told us. You could’ve approached the boys in their bears.
She shakes her head. I’ve been waiting for you.
That’s not fair! I slam tiny human hands against the glass. Taking a step back I look down to find a little girl, no more than ten, soaking wet in her nightgown. I sink to my knees and grab the teddy bear caked in mud. That’s not fair, Momma.
I know but I never stopped loving any of you. Her bear sits down too. All my babies are grown, finding their mates and starting their families. I’m so proud of the shifters you’ve become. No momma is prouder.
Bringing my eyes up, I think I see my mother through her bear’s eyes.
She’s just as beautiful as I remember, her brown curls streaked with golden blonde strands like mine.
Her bear lays down and crawls forward, pressing her head against the glass.
I reach forward to touch the cool glass but my fingers slip into her soft, warm fur.
Gasping, I crawl forward and bury myself into her warmth. I miss you.
I miss you too, sweet girl. But I need you to forgive me and start your life. Your mate needs you. All of you. Please, daughter, forgive me.
A bullet ricochets through the air, startling me awake. “Wha—”
Erick shushes me and slides his hand over my mouth. “Listen.”
I do, the sound of cats growling in the distance and rocks crumbling under the footsteps of someone nearby.
Erick moves me to his side with my back pressed against the cave wall and piles the sleeping back on top of me. “Stay here, babygirl.”
He stands at the same time a brown bear saunters into the cave.
“Boy, you are even stupider than I gave you credit for.” My mate kicks off his boots and strips out of his shirts.
The bear roars and smacks his paws on the ground, his bulky body filling the entrance and making escape impossible.
Not that we’re going to run but I can’t help but imagine the scene the day Erick’s family died.
He and his brother never had a chance to escape and neither do we.
Erick jumps forward and shifts, his bear just as beautiful as the man.
My temperature spikes and I kick off the sleeping bag, sweat forming at my hairline and trickling down my neck. I roll into a crouch, my eyes on the scene unfolding, my hand finding Erick’s pistol on the ground where we cuddled. I grab it, holding tight and wait.
Erick and James growl and show their fangs, posturing and sizing each other up.
The intruding bear takes a step back when Erick swings his massive paw at his head and then another halfway outside the cave when my mate charges forward.
I hear the shot before I see James in his human form pointing a gun at my mate.
Erick shakes it off and charges forward again when a second shot echoes off the cave walls. The bear also charges forward, swiping his paw at Erick’s head and sinking his teeth into my mate’s shoulder.
“No!” I scream and jump to my feet, pointing the gun in the bear’s direction.
Point, shoot, nothing.
James grins and shoots again, sending a third bullet into my mate’s side. “Safety’s on, whore.”
Fumbling with the gun, my vision blurs and my stomach cramps.
I drop to my knees and the pistol falls from my hand, an insane pain radiating through my body.
My bear charges forward, slamming against the invisible wall that has separated us in my mind.
My mother’s voice screams in my head, Forgive me! SHIFT!
My mind and heart splinter open and my bear rushes forward, my clothes shredding off my body as a roar erupts past my fangs in a hot explosion.
James swings his gun in my direction but I’m on him before he shoots, pouncing on his chest and sinking my teeth into his throat.
I thrash my head, salty metallic liquid squirting all over my mouth and face.
The other bear turns to run but I jump on his rear, sinking my teeth into the meaty flesh.
He bellows and turns to fight me as another shot rings through the air, his body dropping underneath me.
I glance at the carnage—both intruders lay seemingly lifelessly underneath me—and turn to my mate who leans against the cave wall with three red tranquilizer darts sticking out of his fur.
Approaching him, I nuzzle my snout into his neck as more footsteps enter the cave.
I turn and roar, baring my teeth and standing to my full height, my claws out and ready to shred anyone else who threatens my mate.
Cricket, naked and cupping his dick, raises one hand. “It’s just me, Kylian. Let me pull the tranqs out of him.”
I look past him to Doralee whose back is to us, her watchful eye overlooking the vista in anticipation of more intruders.
I lower my body and take a step back, granting him access.
Cricket crouches down and pulls the darts out, bringing one to his nose before touching the tip to his tongue. “Well, I’m pretty sure he’ll be okay but he’s going to have one hell of a trip and a wicked hangover.”
Help! I snarl but nothing but a growl comes out.
Then I try projecting to Cricket. “Please help him.”
Cricket doesn’t respond and makes no indication he can hear me, but instead stares into Erick’s eyes which makes me think they are speaking telepathically.
Then Cricket looks at me and shakes his head.
“I’m sorry Kylian, I can’t hear you but your mate can.
Tap into your mating bond and talk to him. ”
I turn to look at Erick who is fighting to keep his eyes open. Through our mating bond, I feel the drowsiness overtaking him, his heartbeat slowing and breathing shallow. “Mate?”
“You are beautiful, babygirl. My mate. Mine. I love you.”
My head fills with snores as Erick passes out.
I whimper and drop next to him, leaning my body against his, resting my head on top of him—protecting him while he sleeps.
“Mate. Wake up. It’s time to shift back. It’s time to go home.” Erick nudges my head with his snout.
A soft glow illuminates the cave, birds chirping outside let me know its dawn and the beginning of a new day.
I glance around to find Cricket and Doralee wrapped up in each other under a sleeping bag, James and the unknown bear’s bodies gone.
I look into my mate’s dark brown eyes and smack my bear’s lips.
“With your mind, babygirl. Try talking to me with your mind only.”
“Are you okay?”
“I am, thanks to you.” He presses his snout to mine. “Do you remember how you shifted?”
“No.” I remember nothing but fear and rage building in my chest and my mother’s voice bellowing through my head. My mother came to me when I needed her. But was it my imagination, or a shifter ability I can only now tap into?
“Focus on your human body. Think about what it feels like to stand up, move on two legs, or flex your fingers—anything that makes you feel human.”
I try but nothing happens. Huffing in frustration, I think, “It’s not working.”
“Relax, babygirl. You have to relax. Eventually, it’ll be like drinking water. You’ll be able to do it without thinking more than ‘shift’. Let’s try this instead. I want you to think about what it feels like to have me slide inside you, pumping in and out and filling you with my cum.”
“Oh my,” I moan, my pussy clenching as the cool air hits my naked flesh.
Erick pulls me into his arms, wrapping his forearm over my breasts while he wraps his leg over my hips. “Don’t turn around, Cricket.”
Cricket grumbles from the sleeping bag. “I won’t but I’ll remind you that while I might not hear your mate, I can hear you, and now I’m going to need to take my mate in the back chamber for a bit.”
Erick snorts. “Keep it in your pants, Romeo.”
“I just need ten,” he groans as their forms move under the sleeping bag. I’m not sure if Doralee has elbowed him in the gut or grabbed his cock but it brings a smile to my face all the same. She and I are going to be good friends. “Twenty minutes.”